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Starting something new is scary. It is like learning to walk, run and swim all over again. I plunge my thoughts into destinations unknown to me. Will I come out of this experience a better person, alive and kicking? Or will this break my bones, weaken my ability to survive, and deaden my spirits? The choice is up to me. I need to be brave, strong and push on especially when it gets tough. I think starting something is the hardest part to do. But, I will do it. I will do this now and write 100 words a day.
Anyone can write. So they say. Do they really know what they are talking about? Do they know how much effort it takes to string words together just to come out right, to make sense to you and me? I write to express myself, to understand, and be understood. I write because my insides twist if I do not. I write to breathe in life, all its goodness, and to find my purpose. I see writing as a challenge. I bet writers work as hard as athletes when they train for games. Writing is tough. Anyone can write? Think again.
I want to be at the right place, the right time to meet the right one for me. That is my intention. Hopefully, that will come true now that I wrote it for people around the world to read. Why is it difficult to find my soulmate, a man who will connect with me on all levels? Where is he? Please come find me. Sometimes when I feel lonely, I ask ceaseless questions. What have I to do to be noticed by him? Why are others lucky to find their partners without even looking?
I keep waiting for you...
Slay the delay that wreaks havoc in my life... That should be my goal. How many things should I have accomplished if it were not for procrastination? I keep wasting time doing things I should not be doing. Time is my most valuable resource. It is my source of wealth. I should use my time on activities that will promote my personal growth, bring out the best in me and in other people. I keep wanting to do more. If I do not finish the task at hand, I may never finish anything. Do it now or I never will.
Like an athlete whose goal is to run a marathon, a writer has to train to get published. Write everyday even when the going gets tough. Keep on going anyway. Develop skill muscles to land that publishing contract. I need to show myself that I have endurance for success. It will not be easy, but it would be so worth it to prove that indeed I can get the job done. Sometimes I struggle with my abilities and often question myself if I have what it takes to make a living as a writer. I will run the finish line.
If stress were a color it would be a rainbow eaten up by black. Too much stress kills dreams and eventually kills the dreamer. Stress can bring out the worst in people, but it can also bring out the best. What does not kill you, makes you stronger as the saying goes. If you learn to live with everyday stress and make it your friend, a more productive life is yours. I find myself creating more under pressure. It is when I push myself to excel that I amaze. Stress could be white when I get better because of it.
Golden rule goes "do unto others what you want others to do unto you". In an ideal world, everyone would follow that rule and all would be well. But, we do not live in an ideal world. This world we inhabit people keep wanting more than what they have. Impatient fools are not willing to sacrifice time and hard work to get what they want. They stop at nothing to achieve their selfish goals. They trample on freedoms and rights of others to further their desires. Will they learn to treat others fairly when karma bites them in the ass?
I write this in the comforts of my home, mulling over what I should do for today. As I consider my tasks at hand, I think about homeless people who roam the streets without a place to call their own. How it must feel for them to live day by day not knowing where to get their next meal and where to stay for the night. I write this during lunch time. I am already starving and my thoughts go out to those who have nothing to eat. I see them begging on the streets. I want to feed them.
I enjoy watching superhero movies. I admire how superheroes can surpass their limitations to defend the weak and bring about justice. I admire how superheroes have the courage to battle against any adversity and triumph for the good. I remember as a little girl, I would play with my dolls and pretend I were Supergirl out to save the world. Although I have grown up to realize the difference between reality and fantasy, some things have not changed. I still want to unleash my inner superhero. I strive to be the best I can be so I can help others.
Inspiration. We are all in search of it. Where to find it? Everywhere. Breathe in wonder. Let life surprise you. Just let it flow. Stop resisting. Is it human nature to control things? If something inspires us, do we have to label it as ours? Why do we find it hard to share our inspiration so it will in turn inspire others too? Inspiration, just like the air we breathe, is free. But, it seems humans keep wanting to capitalize on everything. Before water was for free, now you have to pay to drink in bottles. Find free INspiration withIN.
Let go. Once in a while, toss caution to the wind and let your dreams take flight. When you want all to turn out right, you waste time trying to make everything perfect. That is when procrastination creeps in and stops you from getting anything done. Keep in mind you cannot control every outcome. There will always be things happening beyond your control. What you hold on too tightly may suffocate and fade away. Sometimes the best you can do is all you can do then you just have to let go. You breathed life into it, set it free.
Everyone is given 24 hours in a day and 7 days a week. Why do some achieve more than others? Is it the way they make use of time? While others are lying down, sleeping are they up and working? Time is a valuable resource that some people take for granted. They would rather be wasting time than money. But, there is a saying time is gold. When we let time pass us by, we let golden opportunities slip beyond our reach too.
My goal is to make the most of time while I live with the ones I love.
Life is unfolding as it is supposed to. Everything is happening for a reason I cannot comprehend at the moment. Answers will come to me in time when I do not seek them. I realize how I should let things be. I cannot control everything that happens around me. I am just one of the many who survive, strive, thrive in life. I should do my part as best as I could. I am only human. Humans have limits. If there is destiny and fate at work, I could only pray for things to get better. Learn to let go.
I am a living breathing human being. Stop trying to own me. I am my own person. I am not your favorite thing, not your slave. I was born to this world for a purpose, not as your possession. Do not lock me up in a cage. Do not bind me in chains. I am free to go where I want. The more you try to control me, the more I will fight and break free. I am me; you are you. You cannot change me. Only I can change myself. I need space to breathe and live my dreams.
Because we have to.
Why do we have to keep doing things while we live? Why do we have to eat, to drink? Why do we have to sleep? Why do we have to dream of dreams that do not come true? Why do we have to try when it is not for us? Why do we have to find our purpose for living? Why do we have to find our soulmate who makes life worth living? Why should we keep moving when we feel stuck? Why do we ask questions that we do not hold answers to?
Things you said, promises you made
How it was when you looked deep into my eyes and mesmerized me with your smile
How my heart beat faster whenever you said my name with a sigh
How it was when we walked hand in hand, side by side on the streets of love
How we wrote our names on each other's hearts
How your scent mingled with mine, taste of you on my lips
How your dreams included me and mine included you
I remember, I remember you,
But do you remember me, and how we used to be?
It seems only like yesterday when I imagined how my future would be. I was a little girl back then dreaming what I would be at this age now I am in. I thought then, by now, I would be living my dreams and have a family of my own: loving husband and kids. What do little girls know? Plans do not always work out. Although grown ups love, it is not always reciprocated. The person I love, may not love me back. The one who loves me, I may not love back. Lasting true love will find me tomorrow.
Lighten up, dear child of the universe. Life is too serious for adults who have no time to take a break and enjoy life. Play as you did when you imagined you could be anyone that you wanted to be. Back then, every time you closed your eyes, you were transported to faraway places deep in the recesses of your mind. It was so much easier then to pretend you could achieve any impossible feat. You believed in your dreams. But then, you grew up, lived in reality, lost your zest for life. Never surrender your inner child. Nurture it.
Wish you were here. Those four words make me crave for your presence. Right now you are in my memory. I I desire you to be here in my reality. Why should oceans, seas, mountains, and continents separate us? I crossed the great divide once before. Now, I await you to bridge the distance between us. Your turn to show me that I am the one for you. Come to me. Fly to my arms and feel my heart beat with yours. I breathe your name in every breath I take. Counting the days you will be here with me.
Stuck immobilized unable to move... Why do people feel powerless at some point in their lives? Tides shift and change. Even the strong becomes weak and vulnerable.
Do yourself a favor. Keep moving, moving, moving on. Rest not on your laurels. Go forward and push yourself further on. While you live, continuously search for ways to improve. Step out of the box that traps your soul. Know what it feels to be free again. Dance with your creativity. See your life unfolding with new eyes. Gain new insights with everyday.
Remove those blocks that hold you back. Move and grow.
Why is it when you love someone you want that person to always focus on you? Now if tables were turned and that person wants your undivided attention, you claim that person suffocates you. Why do we put so many demands on others, yet become unwilling to bend to their expectations? Is it that we like to get more than we give out? Perhaps we become too selfish that we see the other person as a means to get what we want. Our definition of love is wrong. Love is desiring what is best for the other person, not ourselves.
Feelings make us real. When we feel, it makes us alive and vibrate with energy. Feelings express what we go through deep within. We connect with other living creatures through feelings. Feelings could be our source of strength or weakness. Intense feelings have the ability to bring about rebirth or destruction. It could cause joy or suffering. The challenge is to not let feelings take hold of our lives. As whole individual human beings, we are more than our feelings. Feelings are irrational by themselves. The sensible thing to do is to balance our feelings with thinking, Think and feel.
Now dinnertime. I am hungry. I usually eat three meals a day: breakfast, lunch and dinner. Sometimes I even eat snacks. When I skip a meal, I feel dizzy, I hear my tummy growling. While I write this entry, I keep thinking about those who only eat once a day and those who have not eaten in days. My heart goes out to them. I want to help them in my own little way. Hunger makes thinking hard. Hunger causes people to do irrational acts especially when they want to feed their family. Stop violence from happening. Feed the hungry.
For all the hurt you have put me through, I forgive you. Writing this entry is the way I release the past and let it go. May each word I type give me strength to move on and pick up the messy pieces you scattered on the floor. As I dust off unpleasantness in my life, I empty memories of your scathing presence that left me bitter. I choose to start anew without you. I am a new person now, reborn to be free. I am a blank slate therefore I can dream and do anything. The world is mine.
So many things I would like to tell you. This deep emotion I feel for you longs for expression. If I could only tell you how I feel at this moment, while looking at a snapshot I took of you, we may just have our chance at a happy ever after. Courage is what I need. Risk it I should. But, I keep thinking what if you feel nothing for me, will you laugh in my face? Time is running out. Sooner or later you will fall in love. I want to be that person you fall in love with.
What would it take to make my dreams real? I have written a hundred dreams on my wish list. I placed check marks on ten wishes fulfilled. I need hard work, determination, courage, focus, drive to push on and do what needs to be done to complete 90 more dreams. I believe I also need good luck on my side. Luck is an added ingredient that makes people successful. Individuals could put the same effort to a task, but their outputs may vary. Luck could be at work when contestants win, workers get hired and promoted. I need luck now.
I want you to be happy. I want you to see the person you need to see when you look at me. I want to be an answer to your every question. I want you to experience the best life can bring. I want to be there for you in times of joy and pain, when you need me most. Your happiness is my happiness. Every time you feel sad, I become helpless and restless. I feel what you feel. I am with you. We are deeply connected, you and I. You see me whenever you look at the mirror.
They say watch what you eat. I say, watch what you write. What you write about speaks so much volume about who you are and what you do. Your words articulate your breeding, schooling, quality of life, hopes, dreams and the company you keep. Are you the kind of person who will think first before you write? What do your words say about you? With letters ranging from A to Z, your carefully chosen words reveal much more than your emotions and intellect. As I read what you have written, I notice beyond what is told. I see your soul.
Where were we? I try to remember why you left, but now you are back again. You left a void in me without even saying goodbye. I felt empty and drained back then. Now, I have gotten used to standing on my own feet not needing you to carry me every time I fell. Thanks to you I realized my strength. I learned how powerful I could be. I did things I never knew I could. All the doors opened to me when you shut me from your life. Where were you all this time? Farewell I say to you.
Keep talking. Keep promising. Who are you deceiving? Words are empty without action. Say you will uplift the nation, stop corruption. Are you only doing lip service? People are getting hungrier, suffering more, dying of injustice everyday while hanging on to your every word. Do not let them down. Do not let their hopes and dreams die. They believe in you, placed you in power. Fulfill your promises. It is not too late to let your actions speak for themselves. Start doing what you said from the beginning. Give them better lives. Set a good example. Do more. Talk less.
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