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New rant! Bars in our state are about to be imposed upon with an anti-smoking law. I think it's wrong. I'm a health conscious person. I know the damage that smoking does. Both of my parents smoked most of my life. I dislike second-hand smoke. Here's my problem: a bar owner(small business) pays his taxes, his rent, his utilities for his liquor license, and excise taxes--how can 'government' tell him what can and can't be done in his business, if it's legal? How are strip clubs allowed to stay open, what part of that is healthy?
I simply do not understand. I am an optimist. I am filled with hope. I started the week thinking and believing good things were going to happen. AND...there has been one problem after another after another...and you get the idea. Vehicles broken down, my son made fun of at school by a teacher, business issues, and relationship stress. I AM SO OVER IT. There are so many books written on being positive and just visualizing what you want. It's hogwash. No, I'm serious. For whatever reason, I've been plagued with problems. I can't begin to write how frustrating.
Don't start every sentence with I. Nope not a grammatical correction, just a way to live, that I've not perfected, yet. I'm pretty good at being kind to people and making people feel comfortable around me. Uhm, allowing myself to be interrupted and taken off course is not something I embrace. Therefore, people interruptions often annoy me. And it shows. There is a thin line between being in business and having to be productive, not allowing every person to prevent me from completing tasks but also knowing when to take a time out for someone. A difficult thing for me.
I could have another baby, if I worked at it. My kids are 16 and 21. So, this is probably a chapter of my life that is over. However, I still feel inclined to address an issue in America that astounds me, regarding child rearing. Hooters has made millions off of women's breasts, specifically women showing their breast. Why is breast feeding in public a taboo? Why does it create controversy and draw a repulsed reaction? Breasts are functional, like it or not. I can't believe so many think it's ok to show them, but not ok to use them.
I am more afraid of the freedom outside the cage than I am repulsed by the captivity from within the cage. True. I wrote that. I feel that. I honestly feel like somedays I am banging my head against a wall. Have you ever tried to fit a square peg into a round hole? Yep, that is my life. It just doesn't seem to work. No matter how much effort, it just goes back to the same old thing. The spinner on the board game "Life"? Yeah, another example of how I feel... That is MY life. Hard to admit.
Why do I continue to live this way? Am I such a good person to keep something 'together', but inside die. Is that the word hypocrite, that I despise in other people? Do I wear a mask and pretend to the rest of the world that I'm ok? I know I'm not. I know that I live this life as a person I don't really know. I know I'm created to be soft, gentle, meek, caring, compassionate, care-free. You can now take each of those words find its direct opposite and that describes me. Can't make myself, much longer.
Flowers are my business. I tell myself, often, however, that I need to flee immediately from my place of employment, if I ever fail to stop and see the beauty in each stem. You know how complacent and routine 'work' gets. We cut a lot of stems. But there are times, more often than not, when I just pause and stare at a flower and say this to my employee: "Wow, God did good with this one." Amazingly enough, a florist fact, usually when a flower is deemed unable to sell, is when it is by far the most beautiful.
Please help me, today Lord. Don't stand off in the distance and look at me. Please. I need your grace, your comfort and your guidance just to accomplish the most simple tasks. I need protection for my children, which you answer that need, everyday. Thank you. This cry is for me. I feel abandoned and alone. I need you to surround me and help me to feel all that you are, around me and within me. I can't continue to just go through the motions. Life seems so futile and shallow. I know you but I can't feel you. Please...
Good morning sunshine! Ah, that is how I'd like to be greeted in the morning. Since I've ran my own household, I've had this 'rule' that no one leaves home mad, because you never know what will happen in the course of a day. Is it hard? You bet. But I never want to think my kids haven't heard good, positive words to start their day. I firmly believe in this principal. So, yes, it may take some more 'putting up with' than I might normally do, but it's so much better than starting the day on the wrong foot.
Rude irritation of the day. My business, I am busy. I receive phone calls all day long, probably more than 50% of my phone calls, that are nothing more than annoying interruptions. Vendors, people selling stuff, people who cannot be understood wanting to add you to something for FREE(rolling eyes). I am over it. I want to know how to filter phone calls at a business. And people who have never been customers or will never be customers wanting something for FREE. I'm annoyed can you tell. It is Valentine's weekend, so just let me ramble. Let me be!
All those flowers! The cooler is filled with precious bouquets, yet to be born. It's a labor of love. Exhausted, frazzled and ready for a vacation by the time February 15th arrives. Unfortunately, no beaches in my future, just getting caught up on bills. Ah, such is the life of the small town florist. By the way, if anyone reads this, do not call 1-800 flowers to fill your orders. They charge way more than calling a florist direct. And, guess what, they call us....yes, the 1-800 people call us, the local guy, to fill their order.
Another celebrity dies. A question forms in my mind. Why do we as a society, turn our heads and look the other way? It is predominent in Hollywood, because it makes its way to TV, but what about everyday? Those people we pass on the streets, or those people who we know who are spiraling into a downward pit with no one to rescue them, what about their cries? Are we too afraid of being told to mind our own business? Are we too afraid of having to put forth some effort? Our world is callous. Look the other way.
Words wound. Words heal. Words damage. Words change lives. Will you marry me? I want a divorce. You make me sick. You are the most beautiful thing in world. Words, using them correctly and knowing when to not say a word. All gifts, I believe. Some people just have the knack to know what to say, others are notorious for having no tact and saying whatever they want at all the wrong times. I love the excuse, "I just say what is on my mind." That is wrong. You can think all you want, but don't you dare say it.
Flowers for Valentine's Day. I have a few truths to reveal. Chain stores flowers are cheaper, but not as quality. Our wholesalers raise our prices to almost twice what we normally purchase flowers for, therefore that is why the price of roses usually goes up. Don't call your local florist the day of the holiday and expect prompt, courteous service. We can generally expect ten times the normal amount of orders and keeping up is difficult. Please understand that we try to be as prepared as possible, but some requests are non-attainable. Remember: Paitence is a virtue! Order early!!!!
Thank you dear Lord, for your provisions. For giving me strength, patience and endurance to keep up with the demand. I appreciate that you provided customers. I appreciate that you kept everyone involved safe. Thank you for your grace. Thank you for staying right beside me. I am forever thankful that you blessed the business and had your hand in the daily operation. I know being the medium in which love is expressed is not looked on fondly by the enemy. I feel so thankful you were my protection. Your love for me is appreciated. With my most heartful thanks....
I like the mornings, as long as there are no glitches in the system. I probably do more in my day from 5AM to 8 AM than most people do in an entire day. Oh meh, allow me to brag for one moment. I don't do it that often. I do laundry, empty trash, feed the cats, cook breakfast, get myself ready, make a bed, get the next days clothes out, wake up my son, make sure his medications are all out. I am busy before the sun rises. I like my time in the morning. Bring on the day!
To those who LOVE football, my apologies. This one is not for you. Steve Weatherford, grew up in a city new where I live. He was on the winning football team at the SuperBowl. Ok, so? The city had a 'hero' parade for him. I'm out. He's not a hero. He gets paid millions of dollars to play a game he loves. Our society's perception of heroes is out of whack. The man that drives a van for Veterans' to go to their doctors appointments, he's a hero. The lady that loves foster kids, she's a hero. Focus, America, focus...
Might as well go there, while I'm at it. Sorry, if it sounds disrespectful. Whitney Houston, wow, she could sing. But is she deserving of all the press she is receiving? She died in misery. The sad thing is she has all these friends so willing to go on talk shows and talk about her, where were they? Did they try to help her? And once again, why are we making it such a big deal? We all know where fame and fortune takes (most) people. Let her respectfully rest in peace, because we know she didn't live that way.
We parade puppies through malls, trying to get them adopted, meanwhile, thousands of babies, remain unwanted. I guess we trace the roots back to abortion, but I don't have the 'uhmph' to tackle that one today. Abortion definitely does not help the fact that so many kids are abused, today. Back to the mall. More people ooh and aah over puppies than they do babies. We fail to see the miracle involved in a child coming into this world. What a precious gift. I love puppies, but wow, we need to have reverential awe every time we see a baby.
A new week, a new beginning. Nothing new in my world. I guess that is a good thing. I've been working on balance. I either am working too hard or I'm bored just sitting. I can't find that happy medium. One reason, my brain never shuts off. It wears me out sometimes. I just read a quote that says, "Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time." Yep, I need to take that to heart and make it work for me. I can relax. I don't have a type triple A personality, so this can't be too hard for me.
I like to walk, as it has been mentioned. Today, stress beat upon me. I forced myself to put on my walking shoes. The minute I stepped out of the door, it started to rain. I thought, "go back in", but the desire to get away from everything was stronger. My walk was incredible. I felt like I'd been treated to a spa treatment. There was a soft mist that fell on my face, the air was brisk, the smells were far better than any famous candle scent, birds were singing around my neighbor's pond. I felt rejuventated. Thanks, God.
YOU! You will not beat me up and wear me down. YOU will not bring out your little henchmen to steal my peace or joy. I refuse to believe for one minute my Savior cannot defeat the tactics you use to try to make me go off course. Illness, distractions, annoyances, bad moods, beyond being busy, and the aggravations of life will not take another day from me. I said, you cannot stop me and today, I will pass the test. I will, with God's help be more patient, be less irritated and respond in a more lady-like fashion.
Someone I know committed suicide. I'm in disbelief. We weren't friends or close. But, it still bothers me. She leaves behind 3 young children. I have to ask...how could you? How can you not think of those children before pulling the trigger. Was your momentary pain really worth it? How does someone become so overcome that they see NO hope in life? I want to know. I feel like darkness won. I feel so cheated, for the family of this young woman. I also feel like maybe if I'd known, I could have tried to help. Would I have...??
There's no possible way to explain the anger I have for two different episodes of child abuse that I heard about yesterday. It is indignant anger. You know the kind that is almost justifiable because you are in defense of the underdog. Kids are weak. Kids are fragile. How can anyone be so cruel? Again, I've said it before we take better care of animals. I believe in grace. I want to believe all people have a chance to get to heaven. However, I believe there is a special place in hell for those who mistreat children. God help you.
Taking a journey of the beaten path. Jesus defied it all. Love that. He stepped outside the box. He never had a comfort zone. He argued with religious people. He became enraged at know-it-all's and hypocrites. He healed on the Sabbath and turned water into wine. He is MY MAN. He loved like we ought to. He loved whores, robbers and stinky people. I wish I liked stinky people more. We don't get it. We'll never get it. It's so simple, it becomes complex. Jesus challenges us because we simply refuse to believe 'it' could be that simple.
I'm over my fairy tale of ever believing I'll have a peaceful, loving marriage. Just over it. I think once I shake hands with that and move into the realm of just surviving, I'll be that much better off. I think it will put the resolve in my life that I need to move on with my relationship with God. I think He is the only One who can truly be my All. This week was over-the-top with death, sadness, and grief. But in it, this light peaked out through the clouds. Miracles, healings, hope...that is victory.
This week promises to be better, right? But what is better, less busy? More stress. How do you keep me happy, right? I ponder this. Because I'm not a high-maintenance type of person, I often tell myself I'm not hard to please. I'm not a label whore, designer only, hours and endless cash spent on hair and nails. I'm simple. But what is it that truly would make me satisfied? I've figured it out. Balance and consistency. I don't want too much money, just enough. I don't want a bunch of free time, just a little. Give me balance!
Another school shooting, I don't truly want to bring attention to it. But it almost seems cruel to dismiss it. We roll our eyes, shrug our shoulders and apathy takes over. I like to rescue people so I am immediately overcome with grief for the shooter. No, he didn't die. So, why grief? His life has ended. What was so wrong in his life that hope died? How can any young person feel that badly they act out like that? Blame the bully? I, to a degree, blame the parents. I blame the parents of the bully. Love the children.
Woohoo! Pardon the excitement. It is an extra day on the month and the weather for my state is unseasonably warm. I love out of the ordinary. I gave praises to God today. My daughter has an hour and a half commute everyday. I pray for her safety. I also prayed when she took this job that the harsh winter weather would stay away. It has! I thought of the magnitude of that...and had to stop and give an overwhelming amount of thank you's to God. I don't doubt for one minute He can and has answered my prayer.
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