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BY Mikey

11/01 Direct Link
Amazing how things change, or is that just me? Glad I was ignoring you, sure you'll cope.
I want to be there, but when there dont want to be there, then end up here. Fuck it all. Leave me to be miserable, fucking people caused all this, like fuck I'm going to help them.
It's good, stuck up fuckers finding out their no better than me. What because they were seperated and givn bigger oppertunities, I will always be bitter. Basing years of hell upon a fucking test, maybe if they told me what it was for things would be better.
11/02 Direct Link
I wonder how dramatic stand offs end. In films the hero always wins. But I'm no hero. So it's going to come down to popularity, what a waste. It could be considered harsh, but seven years is a long time and until I leave it's all that can be done.
I wondered today, about how things used to be. Or more how I was forced to perceive them. They would have be so fucking obvious to fix, but no. The past like the future should be irrelevant, but there's no way to delete the past or memories. But I can try.
11/03 Direct Link
Is this your world? Years of work provide you with this? This is nothing, this is hell. I'm not going to be like you, like anyone. This is nothing to show for all that time, a list of people, they don't live like this. Then why must I?
Its hard not to be cut off from the world when the last year has been negativity and rejection, but one door closes... And every other door locks. Guess that's the benifit of being alone.
I need a place empty of judgement and stigmas, sadly that doesn't exist.
11/04 Direct Link
Tonight was worthwhile I guess. Even though I remained aware of the world around me which wasn't what was intended. They seemed shocked, as if I had changed beyond all regonicion. Well maybe I have, these bastards can do that to you.
We stumbled around, I managed to ruin my shoes. Then got ripped off.
Then the street lights went off. Standing in a pitch black street. Last time I was terrified. This time, what's going to happen? I can stand up for myself, apparently. So wandering the empty streets trying to find a way back. Sadly I found it.
11/05 Direct Link
And so begins the Christmas moaning. I don't want anything, fuck off. Yet another materialist gift giving fad I refuse to be part of. Don't ask me, you wouldn't be able to get want I want, nobody can it's impossible and therefore irrelevant.
But Santa I need you to replace last years television, and maybe a new private jet, my island is Hawaii needs more palm trees, fuck off. It's all so unnecessary.
Possessions don't matter, for a time I thought people mattered but no, fuck you and your precious Christmas. Better start getting ready for Christmas 2012?
11/06 Direct Link
I simply refuse to be the person I'm expected to be, I'll be the person that I choose to be.
I simply refuse to be the person I'm expected to be, I'll be the person that I choose to be.
I simply refuse to be the person I'm expected to be, I'll be the person that I choose to be.
I simply refuse to be the person I'm expected to be, I'll be the person that I choose to be.
I simply refuse to be the person I choose to be, I'll be the person that I'm expected to be.
11/07 Direct Link
Am I sitting correctly?
Am I standing correctly?
Am I talking correctly?
Am I walking correctly?
Am I breathing correctly?
Am I sneezing correctly?
Am I speaking correctly?
Am I drinking correctly?
Am I remembering correctly?
Am I thinking correctly?
Am I writing correctly?
Am I learning correctly?
Am I acting correctly?
Am I watching correctly?
Am I asking correctly?
Am I messaging correctly?
Am I responding correctly?
Am I being correctly?
Am I shouting correctly?
Am I leaving correctly?

Am I living correctly?
Care to judge some more?
11/08 Direct Link
Why do we bother? What does all this work show? Is it to prove our superiority over the animals and plants that populate the earth. Let's be honest a human is just an arrogant animal who by being at the top of the food chain has become able to populate the world.
My point is they come and go, live then die leaving nothing of real value behind, their futile accomplishments scoffed by an ever cooler world. Which poses if everyone over achieved those achievements would just be the norm, so it's a circle.
One circle I'm breaking out of.
11/09 Direct Link
I wandered in. Peaceful. Late. This was to be a good day, things were so simple in theory. Yawn. Then I begin thinking.
We come here everyday, but leave, people get here earlier and later don't moan. But does payment justify time?
Then one day we will be doing the same thing, dragged through long hours. For nothing. What a marvellous existence.
See nobody is truly happy. If they stopped and thought, they'd understand. They'd notice the suffering around and the powerless people, they notice their silly little lives and so called problems.
I'm better then them. Great grammar.
11/10 Direct Link
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11/11 Direct Link
Another great night. My weeks escapism. Every monotonous day waiting for the next Friday when I can escape again. It was amazing. My chance to be alive, no judging, no rules, no moaning. Just peace, if only every day could be like this. But that's yet another thing that will NEVER happen.
It's a strange experience stumbling around, trying to find footing, strangers always seem far more polite. Still the sun will be up in about ten hours and people will go back to being complete cunts. So there I was, savouring the oasis, a simple escape, from the world around.
11/12 Direct Link

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11/13 Direct Link
Weekends, ha. Who needs them. I don't.
Be here at this time for this many hours then fuck off, repeat it five more times and then a two day experience is thrown upon you.
Sundays and just a countdown to another cycle, so one day a week, and they still insist on draining hours from it.
Then it's back to being there, because if not society may outcast some more. Big deal. So enjoy this two days forced upon us by the government, for without it we might actually manage to accomplish a thing or two.
11/14 Direct Link
The cuts will heal, yet remained scarred. Still like every other will remind me. The pain is distracting.
Remember possesions? I have very few now. The emptiness is comforting. Assembled items forced upon me, or from a previous time. No me, not needed. Destrucion is what I know. Relateable, uninspired. What a life.
Meanwhile...life is forced to continue around me.
I tried today, oh how I tried to fit in. Distracting them with tales of programs I'm not expected to watch. Give a happy imprssion upon them. oopposed to sitting in the dark. Alone. Forever. Alone.
11/15 Direct Link
Standing still, but still standing? At least. In some respects anyway.
Who would we celebrate age? Every year, approaching death, drifting apart from those around us, slowly falling. Technically every second that should count for, but one year is clearly far less ridiculous. Seconds wasted, try days, try months. Nine since March.
How must it be for animals to live?, condensing years of joy into so few. So are people wasting time? Yes constantly.
So these people saying to savour every second. What a load of jumped up dramatics.
Time passes without human intervention.
11/16 Direct Link
I had to send that message, people don't like observations so stating them in an attempt to annoy is successful. Not even to annoy just to give a reason to hate me, or more of one.
So while yes I guess I meant it, maybe it should not have seemed so direct. If you know me as well as i hoped you'll understand that. The little bit of humanity I have is thanks to you. So what a awkward situation.
Still think it's a good thing, after all things were getting ridiculous.
11/17 Direct Link
Was a strange night, staring at the stars. Being asked for advice, who would actually do that?
I had to lie, could dash the hopes of someone dreading the "friend zone". That way, when it fails they can suffer too. Quite literally heartless.
Strange, they don't seem to care of rejection, just summon some whore to take the place. So again I lied, said to go for it. Hopefully another life fucked up.
So there, bitter twisted lies are all that keep people going. Otherwise they have nothing, or that little something is snatched or rejected from them.
11/18 Direct Link
Fucking charity, I don't care how heartless that sounds. I've got bigger stuff happening then to care about suffering in the world, because the chances are mine is far far worse.
Every single time I'm actually doing quite well, something happens that kicks me back down again. Such joy. So guess I am left in the dark now, alone, not completely self imposed.
So why should I help other people? when other people are the cause of everything bad in the world. That is why charity simply doesnt work.
So when you need people, they abandon you.

Thanks Humanity Folks!
11/19 Direct Link
Casually standing in a dark field alone. Been raining, so can't sit down. Trying to light, failed again. Inhailing the smoke, I don't see the fuss. What a waste of money, overhyped and over rated. Not doing that again.
Just standing there, watching the display. No reply, no message, nothing. Lost now, don't know what to do.
Guess I really wasn't that important if this has happened. Not even the irony is comforting. Would do anything to fix things, got nobody now. Not really a learning curve, not really anything but personifed alienation.
11/20 Direct Link
These collections, these piles of possesions. Unnecissary, pointless, gathering dust. Still, silent, Lifeless. Relateable?
Through the destruction of the possesions a certain smug glee can be returned. A victory? Quite possibly. Regardless of how hollow it is.
Are memories attatched? In most cases, but they filter of dreams doubt the realism oof such memories however uneventful they where.
The dust is ironic, the materialist junk gather it so, yet I do nothing. Where's my dust? In some respects it justifies the purpose, after all the dust has to go somewhere. Has to form, be crushed, then move on.
11/21 Direct Link

Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
11/22 Direct Link

Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
11/23 Direct Link

Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
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Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
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Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
11/24 Direct Link

Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
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11/25 Direct Link

Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
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Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
11/26 Direct Link

Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
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Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
11/27 Direct Link

Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
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Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
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Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
11/28 Direct Link

Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
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Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
11/29 Direct Link

Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
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Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
11/30 Direct Link

Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
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Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.
Just thought I would rush to finish this batch off.