REPORT A PROBLEM
It's a rabbit rabbit kind of day and I never said it to anyone. Go figure. Who knew? It's the way of the crumbled cookie. I'm not going to see Danee on the 7th when she gets back from Israel. She wants me to come over and smoke pot with her but by that time I will have quit smoking. I have only had one cigarette the entire month of August. That's commendable. And as soon as I am done with the latest load of marijuana, I'm dead done. I mean it this time. Let's see how long it lasts!
It's like a second Saturday. There was really nothing to do all day. I just sat around did nothing. There's a tropical depression right on top of us so there's lots of rain. It's like a cow pissing on a flat rock. That was a saying of Jim Pamperspoon that lasted long long time. I am watching the weather. It's named a Tropical Storm Gordon already. It's maintaining its strength. That means lots and lots of rain. I hope we don't have a flood situation in the back house because when we have lots of rain, that happens every time.
Woke up to the sound of rain pounding on the windows. It's been raining all night. We need to eat that fruit salad that I paid $10 and change for. It's way past time. That shite has to be eaten within two days and I think I bought it three days ago. Time to get eaten up! Anyway, I'm hopeful that I can get some things done today. I have to go to work tomorrow and hit the ground running. It's like the work has piled up. The funeral yesterday took a lot out of me. It was truly sad!
Getting ready for doctor's appointments. No more smoking in the morning. That's going to take some adjustment. I can't find my bandages and I'm totally mental. It means that I will wear my regular shoes. That's all there is to it. I'm also taking HRS to his knee doctor and then I'm going to see my podiatrist. This is doctor week because we're going to Bascom Palmer on Friday. I don't know what happened to Linda. She's gone spare. That's life, eh? I gotta finish this shite so I can start getting ready to go. Have a great, dude. Okay?
Hard to believe that it's the fifth of September already. And they're advertising flu shots on TV. This year has flown by! I have to work a full day today because there's so much work to be done. I like that. Well, not really. I turned down a job offer from Kathy Kassner because I didn't want to work full time and here I am doing just that. Well, I understand the boss asking me to work extra hours. There is so much to be done. I hope I can get it done because tomorrow is a seminar at GMJF.
It's amazing how quickly you get behind on writing. I am writing this on Monday morning. I can't hardly remember what I was doing on Thursday. What the hell? It was just another day. That's a good thing, but at the same time, it makes me very sad. I went to a funeral of a Holocaust survivor. I loved him very much. He was there every Tuesday. And I knew him for three years. Those were the days, my friend. And soon I don't know what's to become of one of my co-workers. It's all going to work out.
A day at Bascom Palmer. I don't worry so much about me, but HRS is getting the business. I hope they don't think I need a shot in my eyeball. I'll be happy just to get good glasses. That's the ticket. I have readers now but I'm getting to the point where I have to wear glasses full time. That's the way of the crumbled cookie. I hope that everything goes okay because if they tell me I have to get a shot in my eyeball, I will lose my mind. That's all there is to it. I'll be fine.
I love that there is a discussion on TV about who buys Nike footwear. There is a new advertisement using Colin Kaepernick to tell about a political message. I like that they did their research. The president is putting us down. We need to get rid of him and his toxic ways. I just said today that we thought Bush was bad, but what we have today is much worse. Whatever happened to good old politics? Over and out, I'm gone. That's right. That's the way I feel about political discourse. It's just a lot of hot air. Blow on.
Today was a nothing day except that it marks the new year for the Jews. That means that I get two days off. Why is New Year celebrated on two days. Because in the east they can't be sure that us folks in the west will know the real time, so let's take two days and get 'er done right. I had no idea that Sukkot is a major holiday. That, and Passover, along with Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Here they come. It's that slide to the new year. It happens every year. When we hit September, hurricane time.
It's Monday morning but it's really morning. It's 0337. I should be sleeping, but I've been awake for hours just schmying around the Internet. I gotta get ready. Soon it will be time to go back to sleep. Once I finish here, that's it. Sleepy time. How much longer can this go on? We are getting up from our slumber. It's time to stop letting people get us down. We are strong! We can do this together. That's the ticket. I'm going to have a good week this week. I can feel it in my boner. Just kidding, you know.
I'm itchy. There are two kinds of people in this world - itchy and scratchy. I'm feeling rather itchy right now. That's okay, I was scratchy the other day. Look at my wrist. It's a shonda to the neighbors! Oh well, it turns out the Internet and phone outage at work continues today. I went in early yesterday and I thought I would be very productive and we discovered early on that they had cut our main line. "They" were pointing fingers but it was obvious that the construction company that was doing the digging wasn't paying attention to the underground.
It's just another day. That's the way I feel about most every day. I've gotten to that point in life where everything is a fun experiment. I like the spontaneity of life. I never plan for anything that way everything is a surprise. I hear a chain saw. I hate those things. Almost as much as the fucking leaf blowers. Get rid of those things. Outlaw them now! I'm on a tear. It's just another day, and another tear. I'll be okay. I just have to get up and do. I have to be at the doctor at 1:40.
Beware the Ides of September. Did Sra. Ruiz-Montalvo tell us that Thursday the 13th was considered an unlucky day in Spain? I don't know I just remember that. I love that I remember her name, but I know she is long ago dead. She was an old lady when I was in middle school, back then known as junior high. It's funny, don't you think that we're all stuck at the junior high level. It was when we were most sanctimonious in our beliefs. That's the way it's meant to be. You have to have that phase of life.
Just another manic Friday. I took two k-pins. That was almost accidental, but I am so fucking mellow right now that if I lie down, I will be asleep. I have to be at Dr. Piperato's office at 1340 to get results from the last test. What is going on? I hope to be much better. I've been on this fucking diet for eight months. It's not nice. I do like not drinking milk or eating (much) dairy. I am having a craving for a burger. Is that too crazy? As soon as I eat it, I hate myself!
Wow, what a nothing day. I did manage to binge watch a Netflix series or two. Maybe it was only one show, but it seemed like two. I don't know. I was pretty out of it. I smoked way too much pot. And I was dumbed down. Raoul had an appointment that he forgot about so when the woman arrived, he was asleep. So was I. Well, more or less. I was just lolling about. That's what I do so well. It's time to get back to my lolling. Lolling is good. Interspersed with a little bit of maintenance. Yeah.
Writing 100 words before the day has even begun. Does it need to have any relationship with the actual day that it's written? I don't know. If you use it like a diary, then it makes sense. If you just pick a prompt and write, the date means not a whit. It's just a number. Now, I can't help but wonder, how many more years? That's a common question at this point. I'm getting up there. I can do this. Do you think I'm going to hit the 100 mark? I wonder about that sometimes. What will be my demise?
September 17 means absolutely nothing to me. It's just another manic Monday. I love that I'm writing these words on September 26. I need to look at that calendar to get my bearing. I have been like a rudderless boat these past couple of weeks. They truly are the days of awe. Today is the first day back after a couple of days off. There are still two more days and then it's holiday season. The days will just melt into each other and before we know it, it will be 2019. Soon it will be Christmas Day. That's right.
I have no clue what I was doing like a week ago. Isn't that a pity. I suppose if I sit here and ruminate long enough, I could muster up some gumption. But the days, they pass by much the same. Lavazza is how you say coffee. I just a commercial for Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee and it's sponsored by Lavazza. Aha. The aha bulb just exploded. What is that place on 163rd Street that used to be a Honeybaked Ham? I don't know but Helly loved to buy us a big old ham. Those were the days, yes.
One day soon, we are going to vote. Will it be a blue wave like they say? I hope so. But it's scary to find yourself going along with the Republicans. Maybe it's a factor of getting old. It's all predestined. The way of the world? I think not. You can hold on to your convictions. Don't be swayed. That's the ticket. Ew, there's a story about honeymoon cash requests. That's just plain tacky. I like the idea of buying useless gifts that folks picked out in advance. You may make that possible. No wrapping paper required. It's a thought!
Miami is #8 for coffee cities. It must be all those Cuban cafecito windows. They put so much sugar in those little cups of coffee. That's what makes them so high powered. It's not the coffee, it's the sugar! Hurricane Kirk is making a comeback. Go figure. But the track is down south of us. We can handle that. As long as the hurricanes keep on getting deflected from south Florida, we're good. We haven't had hurricane coverage on this old house for years and we need to get out of here before the next big one hits. That's it.
I love Fridays because I don't work. It's a long long weekend because Monday and Tuesday are Jewish holidays. It's going to be a marathon. I don't plan to do anything except Kathy Griffin is Saturday night and Ricki has asked to stay over on Sunday. What the hell? She wants to stay over for what? To do weird things? What is the real reason? Oh yeah, she has an appointment on Monday morning at Mount Sinai Hospital and we live only blocks away and she lives many blocks away. It will be okay. I can handle it. Don't worry.
Tonight is the Kathy Griffin show at the Ziff Performing Arts Center. Why there? It's smaller. It seats 2,000 and it was sold out. You go, Kathy. She talked for a full three hours. Wow! That was a real show. I had to go to the bathroom three times. Sorry row mates. She didn't even have an intermission. That was amazing. She can talk, that's for sure. It took her almost the entire show to tell about her experience with the president. Two and a half hours of fun talk followed by a half hour of sheer terror. Wow!
Ricki was here all day. The highlight of the day was her stopping up the toilet. It took until tomorrow to get the thing drained. I think she put an abnormal amount of toilet paper into it. It all worked out in the end, but it was stressful in the meantime. Oh yeah, at least it was toward the end of the day and she could just go to sleep and forget about it. The best news is that she left mighty early in the morning and then called a few minutes later saying she was lost. How the hell?
Having the day off for Sukkot is odd. Candy sent an offensive text. What else is new? I just think that having a day off on Monday is strange. I am supposed to be holy today? That ain't happening. I went to take the car to be serviced. I went in around 1300 and I was out of there by 1430. I remember when you had to get in there by first thing in the morning and pray that you would be out of there by the end of the day! The best part was I didn't pay a thing.
Another day off. I am dreading going tomorrow to buy the food that we are going to eat in the Sukkah. We are going to eat in a Sukkah at Temple Emanu-El. That's rich. It's the second year in a row. I will buy falafel sandwiches at Pita Hut and we'll go have a gay old time. I have to get to work on that grant paper that I submitted last week. I got feedback about what to change and I'm sorta unhappy. I'll be okay. That's the way of the crumbled cookie. It's gonna be a great day!
Back to work after a couple of days off. And I swear we have two more days off next week and then the Jewish holidays are over. But there have been a shton. It's amazing how September becomes a holiday month with all the celebrations. Who knew that Sukkot was such a special holiday. And we are off next week for Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah. I knew those were holidays, but to get the day off (with pay) is simply incredible. I love getting paid not to work. It's the best part of working. I'm going to work now!
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. That was what one of my "friends" used to say. He was really simply a co-worker, because once I left that job, we simply lost contact. There's a lot of people from my past like that. I guess that's what Facebook is good for. Former work buddies are the new Facebook friends. It's amazing how many people are the ones that I used to work with! I just realized that. It's why I have more than 200 friends. They're all from my past! I don't know them at all. That's kinda scary.
Have you seen the Geico commercial where the guy is the master of hypnosis and has all his "friends" hypnotized doing things for him and he's sitting in a lounge chair and drinking a beverage? He tells one person to make a frittata and another that he should clean his gutters. The camera pans out to show at least eight other people doing things for him. It's darling. I love it. It's like if you have enough money, you can pay people to do all those things for you that you never, ever seem to have time to get done.
The poor iguana gave his life for the power outage. He didn't know that the line was electrified. Officials did not want to repeat the tragedy that occurred last year when the hurricane came through and we were all without electricity for quite some time. They made us feel like idiots. Did we just have to hit the reset switch the next day and we could have had our electricity for a whole week after the hurricane. We went for a whole week without electricity after the hurricane one year ago. That's why Timehop is just a hoot in a holler.
It's the last day of the month and I don't want to do anything. I like that. I had to serve His Royal Smallness lunch and dinner. He was being a total pill. I was unable to get the cat to come in so he had to go downstairs to let the cat in. It was a lovely day of doing mostly nothing. I like those kinds of days. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was okay. That's the way of the crumbled cookie. Do you know what I mean? Rap that shit.
The Tip Jar