05/01 Direct Link
A Fresh Start.
That is what this is going to be. Happiness. Not necessarily accurate, but a month full of all the happy things I can think of right now. Not all the happy things that actually happened.
I will probably look back and realise that there are lots more happy things that I could include. But who cares? Don't look for me if I don't want to be found. I won't re-read this because it'll seem illiterate, but a stranger might read it and feel relieved, just for a second. I am not you.
05/02 Direct Link
Today was a bank holiday, and I have no idea what happened on it (although whatever it was, I'm sure it was great). So here are some Busted jokes, curtesy of Callum:

"So much for that Mayan calander of whatever... what with all this global warming and sea levels rising, it looks like Busted were right about the year 3000!"

"Haha, Busted got busted, y'know, 'cause they broke up and got busted and they're called Busted and and and... yeah."

"I haven't heard of this much Busted since the year 6 disco"

05/03 Direct Link
We did relaxation in PE. You just go in, in your uniform, and lay down on a big mat. Then Beth put on a 'relaxation tape' and started talking us through relaxing the different parts of our body. It's funny - usually if you go to sleep in the middle of the day you wake up groggy - but I woke up feeling more awake than ever. But I know I didn't go to sleep. I remember listening to every word she said, but I couldn't tell you a thing about it afterwards. A bit like magic I suppose - genius because you don't know how it's done.
05/04 Direct Link
Courtesy of my uncle, who recieves chainmail :P

ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2011 EUROPE: BY JOHN CLEESE The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.
05/05 Direct Link
We had latin in the canteen, and decided to get our teacher a present. It was funny, because I went round to each of the tables asking them what they thought of the idea, and each agreed that it was a good idea, and sure they'd be happy to donate.
All but one table: Ally, Nat, Fred and Tristram kept me for 15 minutes with comments like
"If Seth were here he could just take over Italy and we could give her pompeii"
"Is everyone going to donate £million to get her the rosetta stone?"
I love them.
05/06 Direct Link
My last EWB lesson. I don't think I'll miss it, but I will miss Tash. She's going to a different school next year, which I'm very sorry about. She's got a wicked sense of humour. You have to be quick to catch all the jokes - sometimes she says something off-hand and it takes you a minute to get it. She's really lovely too, and majorly sarcastic. I'll miss her - she makes me laugh even when I'm trying to be serious. The caterpillar, china, no - not the earl grey! She's the kind of person that generates in-jokes. What a laugh.
05/07 Direct Link
I went into town with Charlotte and Emily (and Emma for a little while) to find our latin teacher a present. We decided on some kind of cake stand, and then we found some really lovely old versions of the Aenead, with leather bound covers, to go with it. Afterwards we went up to waitrose, your music accompanying us along the way. Emily bought a cheesecake, and then we sat on the wall outside and ate it. We didn't have a knife to cut it, so we just held it (like a sandwich!) and took bites out it. I could barely breath for laughing.
05/08 Direct Link
Only one because it was a sleepy sunday...

this is how it works
it feels a little worse
and when we drove our hearse
right through that screaming crowd

then all the styrofoam
began to melt away
we tried to find some worms
to aid in the decay
but none of them were home
inside their catacomb

and on the radio
we heard november rain
the solo's really long
but it's a pretty song
we listened to it twice
cause the dj was asleep

Regina Spektor
05/09 Direct Link
Last Physics lesson. Mr Hardingham gave us a speech, which I will make a small note of here:

I don't know how much you have enjoyed this year, but I've had fun. Sure, we've eaten dry ice and played with radiation sources and plastic trucks and rubber bands and lasers - but, well, I hope you've learnt something. Like I said at the beginning of the year: I haven't set out to teach you physics. What I hope I have taught you is that the world around us is amazing, and we must continue to marvel at it.

I will sir, I sure will.
05/10 Direct Link
Today was our final creative writing lesson. It was creative writing that first got me writing on here - talking of which, this batch signifies a year of me writing. Anyway, we had cake (Miss Mills brought loads and we had some of my unusual deformities) and we put up Lizzie's bunting and we all gave her the presents. Ollie turned out to have very good taste - he got her some lovely jewellery and a notebook and things, and me and Emily gave her our books. We're her last class - she's leaving in July. It's sad, but at the same time I'm glad I've known her.
05/11 Direct Link
A good day. I could write about my last form time, and my tutor's tears, but I'm not going to. The evening was much funnier.
Took the cubs on a walk round the fields. We were nearly home, but there was a ditch in the way. So instead of going the long way round we scrambled through the brambles and made the cubs jump the ditch. When they were all across it was my turn. I hovered on the edge, not wanting to jump. I was scared of getting wet! Anyways, next thing I know Rory has hefted me onto his shoulder and carried me across. A knight in shining armour.
05/12 Direct Link
The last official day of school. The last day of uniform, the last day of normality. A kind of frigid excitement coursed through us. It was sad, but at the same time explicitley happy. After school we went into town, all of us, sat on the common in the fading sunlight. Signing shirts in coloured pens. I walked to get pizza and laughed and laughed. Me and Tristram got the bus home. I am here, I am happy. I want it to last forever but it can't. These are the best days of my life. I'm glad I know it.
05/13 Direct Link
The Final Day. An awards giving, and a party. I'll be back sooner than I know, but right now I'm leaving. It was sunny.
I can't put into words how it felt, aside from sad but good, which is a rubbish analogy. So I'm not going to bother. You can imagine for yourselves how it feels.
Avenue Q in the evening, which was an amazingly clever and really great show. I enjoyed myself.
Mind still reeling at reality, I don't bother to sleep. Rather, I'll try and concentrate on not being so melodramatic, and actually being right.
05/14 Direct Link
Every couple of months we have a concert in my village church. Not a church concert, but a proper one; with a sound system and a bar at the back and spotlights and everything. Local talent (of which there is a lot). I played with the band for the first time. They usually play anyway - with a piano, two voices, guitar, bass and drums - but they asked me to do a little on saxaphone. I wore a jazz hat. I actually really enjoyed myself, and didn't do too badly. It's not exactly professinal, but it was a good laugh.
05/15 Direct Link
I went to Alex's in the morning to do revision. The rest of my family joined us for lunch later. We did science mainly. After lunch we managed to get Georgie on the skype. Me and Alex are going out to see her this summer, just the two of us. It was funny, because she was still in her pyjamas, and said it felt weird not being properly dressed in Alex's house, at which point Alex promptly removed his shirt to make her 'feel more comfortable'. Oh we were laughing. I can't wait to see her, it's going to be the best thing ever.
05/16 Direct Link
Today was my first day of study leave... no more early mornings, no more running for the bus, no more-
erm, yeah, I got up normal time, ran for the bus etc etc...

But we had latin revision so it was ok, and it was sunny and I have no idea what I wore but what I do know is that I was running out of clothes that weren't uniform. But I loved it. Today was a monday, so I assume I had piano - I am playing the most amazing piece, called The Arrival of The Queen of Sheba.
05/17 Direct Link
The sun shines through my sullied window, gazed
upon mine eyes and through my darkened soul.
I feel responsible and yet amazed
but his love for me cannot make me whole.
He does not sense my obvious distaste
for things so crude and loving, that he gives
to me - I fear his heart will go to waste
for love him I cannot, as long as lives.
He wrote me music; on my heartstrings played
but little did he know that I was gone,
bewitched by one - another man waylaid
yet I can't bear to see him so alone.
And so I'll stick to you, my true love not,
And pray that my own true love is forgot.
05/18 Direct Link
Today was my first exam (but it was citizenship which doesn't really count) and also Charlotte's birthday. At lunch a load of us went down to Audley End, but got caught climbing over the fence, so went to Bridge End gardens instead. We had a lovely picnic, and then all went running through the maze. Dan jumped off the platform in the middle. Lizzie put streamers on a nearby tree, which subsequently looked very pretty. I ran back to school to get the bus, and slept on the way home. Happy Birthday to you Charlotte - felix dies tibi!
05/19 Direct Link
Emily's birthday. I went in for latin again - there weren't many of us there, and then I had English revision in the afternoon. I had ballet again tonight; the dance is really coming along, we've sorted out most of it now. Scarves and all - I do feel a little silly prancing around with a scarf, but Kate says it looks ok. I won't be there for the show (probably a good thing, I'm not the most graceful person on the planet) because it's the day before I come back. Funny, everything's happening while I'm away, but I wouldn't stay for the world.
05/20 Direct Link
I didn't go into school today - my first proper day of study leave. I went out with mum instead, to one of her coffee mornings. We went to Niki's house, which was slightly weird because I know where everything is - Gaby used to live there, and I spent half my childhood playing with her and Georgie. They are funny - Janet and Niki and Sara and Julie. The stuff I learnt was amazing: the amount of gossip! It's all very interesting, so long as you smile a lot and keep quiet and make small talk while you wait for the main conversation - oh my!
05/21 Direct Link
We went to Cambridge, looking for a dress. I think I've got one. Well, I've got one that I could wear. It's a very deep purple silk, with ruffles and lace around the hem. There's a black ribbon in the center of the bodice. It's quite short, and I'm planning on heels but... I don't know. I was thinking of making one, but there's not much time. It's a nice dress - it wasn't too expensive, and it's the kind of dress that I would wear again, so it's good value. Oh well, we'll see. But I have a dress.
05/22 Direct Link
Haec scripta Latine, sed non valde bene. Verbero sum ​​fraudatus quia non scripsi me. Non praeceptor extolli laude noluit mihi, me voluit ipse scribam. Sed non potest facere quod reperio obscurum. Non poterit intelligere cum hoc relegi. Nolo. Amo linguam latinam quod suus populus. Pleni narrantur Heroas Fortis deorum. Historia plena caedibus principum et procul regna. Nubes quoque replebantur veneficus. Est etiam tradegy temporibus - amor perdidit irrita carmina. Di non semper miscentur vias hominis. Si hoc legere Agedum, et nunc est felix felix vobis peciam moritur then, ego Latine loquuntur melioribus! deinde plura scribam meum Latine quidem recte erit iniquitas!
05/23 Direct Link
I went to work with mum. It's just filing usually, but I get lunch, and I get to muck about with uncle Ian (who sends me chainmail) and Clive and John and Eddie. I sorted out Clive's shelf - he always lets it get into such a mess. It's just job files that need putting into numerical order, and then filing away. It took me ages, and the filing draws needed sorting through and re-arranging again because they were in a bit (a lot) of a mess, but I enjoyed myself and I got paid a little bit for helping out.
05/24 Direct Link
English literature. I am vaguely disappointed with myself, because although poetry went ok, Lord of the Flies was practically illiterate. I went into one of my rambling-meaning-no-quote modes. Never mind. We stayed in school (and ate Olivia's magic stars) and then headed off to science revision for the rest of the day. I ended up chatting to Ally about latin. He says he'll teach me my verb endings - I made him teach me about carboxylic acids instead. I got the bus home with Olivia and Alex. My brain is tired now - home, bed, sleep, sounds like a plan.
05/25 Direct Link
Chemistry in the morning (which went ok considering how rubbish I am at chemistry) and then technology in the afternoon, which was a waste of time. In the middle I went to Lucy and Laura's for some tech revision help. It was really hot, so we sat in the garden, but we had to jump out the window because their mum had locked the back door and taken the key. In the actual exam I discovered that there are still christmas decorations above the stage - I spent a lot of time looking upwards despairingly. Ah well, glad those two are over.
05/26 Direct Link
I went into school for latin. Not many of us were there. It was only Laurie when I arrived, and I text Tristram that morning, so he came too. We sat together - he knows more vocab than I do. Well, more vocab up to words beginning with F. He's learning them in order, which means the one's he's revised he knows well and the others... he knows more along my sort of standard which isn't good. We went through gerunds and gerundives again, and a little of Pythius. I think Tristram's learnt all of the prose too. Standard Kristkind.
05/27 Direct Link
Today was the physics exam (which was the hardest paper possible in terms of topics, but didn't go too badly) and also Emma's birthday! We hung out on the common for a bit and then went back to her house for a picnic in the garden. We played the murder game again, which was fun... I was the last person to be killed, because Alice and Nat betrayed me! I thought we were a team - Nat's got such a trusting expression, I felt very betrayed. I gave Emma the Hugh Laurie CD, which surprised her. Felix dies tibi Emma - love you lots :)
05/28 Direct Link
Charlotte and Emily's party. Charlotte's house and garden is massive, and really pretty. They had a good stereo and we sat on the trampoline (but not with our drinks). I wasn't cold in my dress - we were lucky enough to have a perfect summer evening. Even Tricia was dancing, albeit only a little. There were about thirty of us I guess... I just remember dancing in the dark with a load of people and smiling and laughing a lot. I gave both Charlotte and Emily some mini cheesecakes that I made myself - memories of the good times. I had a really great night.
05/29 Direct Link
I got up quite late - well, after last night who wouldn't? I navigated our way back to Belchamps in the surprising sunshine. At least the boys weren't around when I got there (they'd gone out for the day). We set up an assault course for the cubs after lunch, and then they went off to various activities. Julie's sister was there with her two sons - baby Jamie is so cute! The boys got back in time to fetch sticks for the cubs to make dough twists round the fire. Will approves of my music (that's a first). We stayed up late chatting, and I fell into my tent at about 11.
05/30 Direct Link
Lots happened during the day as usual, but the best bit was setting up a game for the cubs after dinner. Me, Rory and Callum went out scattering envelopes in the wood for the cubs to collect. We were sent back out for ones they'd missed, just as it started to rain. They didn't find the one me and Callum put under the bridge, or the one that flew back and hit me in the face. Callum was telling me that Rory got into trouble for carrying me over the river - apparantly Julie left him at the top of a climbing wall. We stayed up late playing catch with a broken tennis ball.
05/31 Direct Link
My final day on camp. It was fun, even the walk in the afternoon when the cubs suddenly decided that I was in love with everyone I talked to. And one of the scouts told me that my shorts weren't suitable. I told they were shorts. Anyway, I thought Rory was going to kill a couple of them at one point, and Callum rubgy tackled the scout for me, so all's well that end's well :)
We played rounders at the sun began to set. I didn't catch a single ball, but I hit it all three times. I wanted to stay.

Good times, good times.