01/17 Direct Link
Within the greater context of spiritual or physical sloth, i find myself guilty in an unexpected-by-me way. Lazy has never been an adjective I'd identified with. But alas. To be unslothful, unkoala-like, not endlessly chewing eucalyptus on a high branch, rote-like, habit upon paved-highway habit, we must be diligent. Even in our relationship - ESPECIALLY in our relationship to ourself. To change your relationship to yourself is to change your relationship to the world. No work is done until you are exacting with yourself. Habits are a force of nature, requiring an unlazy will to break.
01/18 Direct Link
To want what we haven't got... GUILTY. Again, I would not have given myself the seven-sinly-title of Greedy, until today - until I got thinking of the 1001 cravings I have on a daily - okay momentary - basis. I want love (more of it!) and I want peace (endless!). I want health (forever!) and I want chocolate (always!). Be they philanthropic, self-bettering, philosophical or trivial, there is no end to my wanting. This would be a good point to say I also want to be easier on myself - even for all my wanting. Mostly, I want simple luxurious contentment.
01/19 Direct Link
Gluttony. Similar to Greed, in my mind - the insatiable desire for MORE. I never understood the phrase "glutton for punishment." I have two particular triggers for a gluttonous state: Thai and Indian. It is impossible that I leave a Thai or Indian restaurant without a two-handed gut-clutch and accompanying moans. What makes us overdo it? Leaving all other "overdoing" activities aside - I consider food. I always argue that the nerves in my tongue are just far more sensitive than those in my stomach - hence the lack of forbearance in the face of pad kra pow and gulab jamon.
01/20 Direct Link
Envy. Again, this one sounds a lot like Greed, when i think about it. Wanting Wanting Wanting. It is curious that humans want so much, isn't it? Such is the effect of consciousness I guess - or at least our brand of it. I guess it comes down to a question of necessity vs. luxury. And when you throw all the rampant advertising-derived-self-inadequacy into the mix, luxury and necessity get a bit confounded, don't they... In any case, I envy: long legs, beautiful skin and hair, creative talent, self-love, generosity, front teeth bigger than the adjacent ones.
01/21 Direct Link
Wrath. I've been resisting writing about this one. Pork Wa? I guess Envy, Greed, Sloth, Gluttony - those come quite naturally to me, so regardless of how unpleasant they are, they're MY unpleasantries; I'm comfortable with them. But Wrath. I don't venture out on that limb terribly often. My most wrathful feelings are toward groups of people, e.g. Social Conservatives, Animal-Abusers, Assholes. One-on-one those angry feelings tend to give way to understanding a bit more. Ideology goes out the window in the face of personal connection, sometimes. But I often feel wrath is bubbling underneath it all...
01/22 Direct Link
Lust. I guess a sin is sinful because it makes you behave in ways inconsistent with your beliefs, ethics or longterm wishes. ?? Though I have rarely if ever been the "victim" of my own lustful desirousness, I can easily imagine such a predicament. Lusty thoughts have a way of eclipsing all else - similar to the effects of chocolate, like the scientists say. I clearly don't have much to say about Lust. I'm going to free-associate around the word: Ravage. Powerless. Power. Taken. Taking. Animalistic. Fruit. Immediate. Fleshy. Corporeal. Salty. Sweet. Human. Skin. Alive. Now. Stranger. Close. Far. Meet There.
01/23 Direct Link
Pride. It's all i've got left. The chips down, the job dissolved, all relationships burnt into ash. The bathtub leaking (and not even holding heat for the water that remains). Apples mealy. Arches fallen. Rejection at every turn. More drunk than sober, more depressive than manic. Eviction notice. Flat tire. Parking ticket and dog shit on my sole. Cold coffee. Cat hair in my eye. Unbrushed teeth and dislocated shoulder. Critical unacclaim. Romantic unacceptance. Self-unmotivation. Guitar unstrummed for years, dusty and still. Owed money unpaid. Exercise undone. Fat cells bulging. Heart wrecked. But at least I have my pride.