'Hey.''Hi.''You know...I've been wanting to tell you something for a long time.''Ok...''It's just...I think that you are the most beautiful person in the world. Every time I see you, I smile. I can't help myself. I hate seeing other people talk to you, because they're taking time that I could be using to talk to you. If that makes sense...anyway. I...want to hug you and never let go.''That's really creepy.''Sorry. But...I love you.''I...I don't know what to say.''April Fools!''Oh...''Yeah...but seriously, I love you.'
Jason returned home and started packing his things. There was very little to pack. Possessions were limited, by space and by funds.When he finished, he set fire to the carpet in the living room. It seemed to be the natural course of action. Jason wanted nothing to be left behind.His plan was to travel to India, telling stories as he went. He wanted to meet a hermit, who he hoped would be able to unfold the mysteries of life to him, and tell him where he should dowith his life. Jason wanted to find himself.
There is always a time where you go along, do something, day something and it means nothing to you. No warning or reminder floats in your head that maybe you need to be saying or doing something else.It's like your brain is cruising in an ocean, and suddenly you get sucked into a whirlpool and it is only just before you take your first breath of sea-water that you remember the signs that you paid little attention to a few nautical miles back.This is not such a drastic situation, but nevertheless...Happy birthday, for yesterday. Sorry.
I thought I heard someone trapped in a tree, once.I walked all the way up to it and tapped it on the trunk. Nothing happened. Pressing my ear to the bark, I tried to focus in on the noise that I had heard. There was nothing. The gentle sighing, masking a greater anguish, had gone. Nevertheless, I climbed the tree, all the way to the top. I hung from the thinnest of branches and tried to find that noise. Eventually, the branch snapped and I was quickly reconnected with the ground. I never found that person trapped in there.
It was Jason's turn to think.'To be honest, I'm not sure. I mean, a month ago, I decided to piss my life away in a...I don't know...nihilistic defiance. A terrible blaze of glory. I just wanted to stop everything. You know, we work hard for the opportunity to work harder. Is that all there is to life? There must be more, otherwise we would all be born in a pin-stripe suit. Is happiness incomplatible with modern living?''I'm a hermit. What do you think I'm going to say?''Well, it shouldn't have to be. It shouldn't.'
Is this all I am now? Just this machine that works? With the single purpose of getting into a specific academic institution?Is that now my entire identity? Is this it? Isn't there more? Shouldn't there be more?All these questions running around and still there is no answer and there will never be an answer because you have to keep working everyone says so and everyone can't be wrong so you do it and keep doing it even though you want to sleep and do other things but the work just keeps on coming and coming and coming and...