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BY Alex

07/01 Direct Link
Looking back <

In a months time I've climbed  the top of one wall, and  fell on the other side hard. So hard it took awhile for me to figure where I was at. It took me awhile to regain my balance. It took me awhile to see clear again.  My pride took a hit, but my mind was safe. I got back up. I daydreamed. I daydreamed about what's next for me. I'm doing just that. Do what makes you happy and life will follow. I got enough time to make mistakes. Once,twice, or more.
07/02 Direct Link
In my room in your room

I moved in, i moved in fast. All these of this nature are too good to be true. In the heat of the moment it all seemed like a huge step. In a right direction. I don't which direction it took me. My moral compass broke long before this ever happened. I took me in boxes, not a box. It was after everything came tumbling down. I realized I need to simplify everything. It's not that simple though. How do you fit a live, and a personality into one box? It's the simple question... right?
07/03 Direct Link
It was that book that ended up killing that man. I can't be certain but it seems the only logical way to draw my conclusion. They are stories about others who mysterious vanished. They all supposedly found the same book. I don't know where he got the book. It was gone before I even had a chance to clean up the mess. I knew he found the book at the library but I didn't know a single thing about it. All I knew was that the book felt like it was alive. It was watching us watch it. Crazy right?
07/04 Direct Link
The best 4th ever...possibly

I spent the length of the day on blankets on the grass. Actually the lack of grass but Cal Anderson never really had grass. We had pillows and liquid to cure our hangover. Me and Laicee dreaming in th heat of the day. The heat of the moment. When night came the fun was sprinkled in night air. I caught some in my lungs and after that I was lost. I was on a roof. A roof that I knew all too well. It was packed with people. Beer, music, the crowd. Happy 4th Seattle.
07/05 Direct Link
He had been a shut out for days. No one I knew had contact with him. His phone was not on. He'd done this before so I didn't rush to the scene. When two weeks went by I had had enough. I went his apartment alone. I looked up to his window from the street. The window was closed. He never closed that window. Never no matter how cold or loud it got outside. His door was already sightly open. He was gone. All of this belonging still there however. The only strange sight was the circle etched in bathroom...
07/06 Direct Link
The circle was rather large in diameter. My mothers dinning room table could have easily fit in the confines of the etched circle. It wasn't there before. I would have noticed something so unusual as that. There was something about that etched circle that made me feel dizzy when I first spotted it. I didn't  feel alone in that shitty bathroom. Two weeks go by and he was gone and nowhere to be seen. All that was around was that odd circle in the bathroom. I backed out of the apartment. I backtracked. Maybe he was out doing something.
07/07 Direct Link
I went to all the local huants. Places he would have been. The local coffee shop. Nothing turned up. The park. Nothing again. The school, and even that left me empty handed. He'd always been the type to come and go to his own accord. Even still, this was not like him. In the past he'd drop the radar completely. Only to be found somewhere in the city we'd both visit. He would clue me in on  his life and what he's been up. It was a regular pattern. Maybe this is why no one else was as worried
07/08 Direct Link
The day had turned into night. I decided to give his place one more shot. It was just as a left it. Everything was still here untouched. There were no signs of robbery. The man was not rich enough to travel. He also wasn't smart enough to just disappear. If you wanted to really find him. You could find him. It took some time and luck but you always ended crossing his path. I decided to stay at his place that night and wait around. Maybe he would come crawling in at some random hour. The night wore on slowly...
07/09 Direct Link
It was nearly 2AM. I was stuck in that mindset where you could easily close your eyes and sleep. Unless you force yourself to keep your eyes open. I managed to fight off the urge to sleep until 3AM. That's when nature called. I had to take a pee. I turned on every light in the small apartment and went to the bathroom. I had never had such an awkward bathroom in my life. The Toilet was positioned right in front of the mysterious hole. It didn't make the experience a pleasant one. I began to stare at the hole.
07/10 Direct Link
I was glazing at the etched circle in the wall. I had complete tunnel vision. I felt like this circle had something to do with his disappearance. I had finished my business I don't know how long I'd been there. I stepped into the shower. I started to closely inspect the wall. There was something off about it. Just the touch of the wall was off. It felt like it was pulsing, moving, It was in that room I felt a breeze. The door was shut and there was no window. I bent down to further inspect the wall. Looking...
07/11 Direct Link
Looking for a place a breeze could come from. It was probably coming from the wall. I felt like I was in some movie. This is the part where the lights start to flicker and I die. I waited for just that it never happened. I gather my thoughts again and carefully searched the wall. I felt a breeze on my face. It was coming from the wall as I suspected. Walls don't have ventilation. Not the walls I knew. I had no nails. I was a chronic nail biter. A bad habit or so I was told. Nothing made....
07/12 Direct Link
Made sense to me. He was just "gone" and there was was breeze. A breeze in a windowless bathroom. Things like this never happen. Never say never because it was happening. I got on my knees and scratched at the tile nearest to the source of the breeze. When I managed to get one tile off the breeze got stronger. With little elbow grease I took off the neighboring tiles. I had enough space to peek into the other side. All I saw was black. The breeze was getting stronger. The tiles weren't even a challenge. They seemed to float
07/13 Direct Link
I kept pulling tiles and suddenly they all just fell down. Like vertical dominoes. One pegged me night in the cheek. I was bleeding. The shock from the avalanche of tiles took my breathe. I looked at  small amount of blood on my fingers. I hadn't injured myself in a long time. I learned to play it safe as I had grown older. Shaken up by the sight of my own blood I didn't notice the wind right away. I looked up to see a huge hole in the shower wall. Wind was escaping rapidly. I ran screaming.   
07/14 Direct Link
I said I would never leave the city. I said I would never go back home. I was wrong because it's just what I needed. I need space to breathe and time to wander. That city is as fast as the others but it's got a pace. It's got enough shiny things, neon signs, and intriguing people. I was sucked in again for the second time. I had to force my way out because it wasn't about  to spit me out. I had everything change in a second. I was homeless, laid off, and threatened. This is my time....
07/15 Direct Link
I screamed all the way to the front door. Loud enough to wake the neighbors. The door across from the hall opened. It was a girl I had met once or twice. I once again contained myself in the hall away. Trying to catch a breath so I could talk. The girl looked at me like I was crazy. I felt like i was going crazy. We weren't friends by any means. I met her at a party once a few months back. I was too fucked up to make sense. All my words weren't making sense. She stood there
07/16 Direct Link
You may fall once. You may fall many times in one lifetime. The thing to remember is always get back up and keep walking. It's easier then it sounds each time it happens. Just remember to give your self that chance to regain your balance. Put one foot in front of the other and walk with your head held high. It is through failure we get a wider scope of what success truly is. I thought the last time I fell it was my last. I probably won't be. As long as I get back up, I can succeed. Live
07/17 Direct Link
She was looking at me with concern. I just blurted out what I had happen. Other neighbors were stepping out into the hall way. They were angry and unconcerned about the situation. The girl helped ease the tension and apologized to the occupants standing in the hall. She whisked me into the apartment. She asked me to tell her again, once more what happened. The apartment was calm as we sat  his couch. She thought I was on drugs. The only time she met was at a party. Where I forgot my limits and drank a little too much.
07/18 Direct Link
At that party she ended up helping me come to. That's what I forgot about her she helped a complete stranger. That was how I knew her. She helped a drunk ass at some party her neighbor had thrown. I started to ask her about him. She hadn't seen him for weeks. The last time she saw him he was stepping into his room. She mentioned a book in his hands and how he looked eager to get inside. I told her about the book. How people that read it all vanished, the book was about those people who vanished.
07/19 Direct Link
I felt horrible flooding the girl with all this unreal information. I felt like she was now connected to my search. This was probably the most action we'd had in our lives in awhile. She could till was was horrified and her face reflected the same. The bathroom door was open the whole time. It  wide open like a mouth waiting to shallow whatever came through. The girl stared into the bathroom and was starting to agree more and more. It was calm where we sat. In was a different beyond that door. There was a visible wind there.
07/20 Direct Link
She got up and walked towards the source of the wind. I saw her from the corner of my eye climb into the shower. She was just as brave as she was kind. I joined her in that room. The air was thick now. It felt polluted felt sick. We both starred into this gapping hole. The hole used to be a out of place circle in his shower wall. The hole seemed to have no end. Even if there was suppose to an apartment wall on the other side. There wasn't only a long hole that went for miles. 
07/21 Direct Link
The girl wasn't sure what to think. She was scared but excited all at the same time. Hours before she was daydreaming on the bus ride home. Her career was unfulfilling as much of her life was. Maybe that what we had in common. The daily routine and the bleakness of living. The longer they stood in that room the thicker the air got. The harder it was for them to breathe. It felt like the room was crushing them. The girl shouted through the hole. It echoed for awhile and faded away, as it traveled through the hole.
07/22 Direct Link
I grabbed the nearest object to me. it was his old overused razor blade. it was starting to rust. I threw it through the hole. We waited for the sound of it hitting. Forever we stood bent over gazing into the hole. I don't how much time passed before a bellowing slam travel back at us. There was a bottom. To a vertical hole? I stopped asking questions nothing made sense. The air got thicker again. It was like trying to breathe under water. The both started coughing with the change. The wind picked up again only it was reversing.
07/23 Direct Link
When, What, Where, How...?

When do I want it? I want it now, when will I get it? Soon I hope. When will I feel it? I'll know when it happens

What am I looking for? Passion. What is "passion"? Passion is that spark that never burns out.

Where do you find it? In the the things that matter. Where do you find the things that matter? Matter is found in the place where your spark is burning brightest.

How do you get to that place? Just believing.  If you believe anything is possible. Passion always burns when you believe
07/24 Direct Link
The breeze reversed into the hole slowly. As it went back to where it came from it gave us back our breathe. This was as supernatural as anything had ever been for me. She was done I could tell she wanted to leave. She started to head for the door. The wind was getting stronger. Stronger and stronger. Like a jet turbine. It was only second and the wind was already to strong. I tried to grab her hand as I felt the wind sucking me back. I managed to clasp my hand in her's. I was getting pushed back....
07/25 Direct Link
It was getting hard to keep my balance. She was trying to pull me back with all her power. It was a losing battle. While she pulled me to the door way. I was pushing myself off the shower wall. The breeze kicked in once again. This time stronger then anything I'd ever felt. It power stung my skin. I couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't scream. I couldn't move. I felt her hand slowly letting go. four fingers. Three fingers. Two fingers. One finger. Release. My head hit the edge of the all hard. I was falling down now.
07/26 Direct Link
Down a vertical hole. How was this possible. I passed out during the free fall. I caught a glimpse of the girl on the other side of the hole before everything went black.

I saw him fall down the hole. I watched him plunge into darkness until he was gone. The wind was pushing me only him. The wind only effected him. How was I suppose to explain that to anyone. I screamed down the hole for what seemed hours. I got nothing back. The weirdest thing happened next.  the hole started to shrink from the inside out. What..
07/27 Direct Link
Dance,dance Till you're dead...

It's funny you hate it at one point and love it the next. In fact I still hate it but I need to make the best of it. I'm not going anywhere soon. So until I fly away to the next pit stop, in my personal game of L.I.F.E. I will make this shit magical,fantastic, regrettable, and worth while. I managed to work my way into a bachelorette party. I got my hands on a 40. I downed it in a painstaking 10. I was okay after that. Happy Saturday  
07/28 Direct Link
What happened next only took seconds. The tiles appeared back into postions they belong. There was no trace of the circle that was once there. It looked like a normal wall in a overpriced studio apartment. Dawn was breaking and  she woke up in her own room. She was sure what had just happened what she'd just experience. It might have well just been some dream. She went to the man's room across the hall. The door was open. She stepped into the bathroom. It was a normal bathroom. There was no hole and no etched circle. she was
07/29 Direct Link
she was sure last night was too real to be a dream. She was an adult now she couldn't sit around all day and figure it out. She had to pay the bills she had to great ready for work. At work she was alone in her cubical rehashing the events of the night before. The missing man and the missing man's friend. The wind. Everything. She knew deep down she wasn't dreaming. She wasn't going crazy. That bathroom was different last night. There are two people missing from that room now. It was then she remembered the book. Research...
07/30 Direct Link
She researched the book on the internet. At first nothing came around. Within time tidbits lead to other tid bits. The tidbits lead to larger leads. The book is a supposed modern urban legend that arised out of the resurrgence of the occult. She reached a dead end. The only other lead she uncovered was the supposed suicide and disapparence of a girl. Her parents  lived close by and mentioned the book in a newpaper article. She was no detective. She didn't know where to start. She was a telemarketer and she never came across an unsolved mystery...yet
07/31 Direct Link
I'm changing
I'm trying
change

I don't have much but at the same I full of something else. I don't know what it is yet. I want to find my own vault full of money like that one cartoon. The one when the old angry duck would swim in it. It doesn't have to be money. I just think I would be great to have something to swim in whenever I feel like it. I need to find that. That's my new goal. Find something I can swim in every day. All day and never get bored. About the angry duck though