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06/01 Direct Link
Tried

I am little tried and frustrated with the way things have been going on in my life. I am trying to think of the many things that I am doing in my life and the settle ways I am procrastinating.

I don't know what the hell I am trying to acheive, I wrote a play which is good, but I still need to get many things organized, but I feel there are many distractions. I guess I need something to feel the void, I guess I want to feel more complete.

I am personally tried of the bullshit that people feel like that they need to put on me, I guess I need to get somethings going.
06/02 Direct Link
Depression

Caught in a web of emotions, with uncertanity feeling un-leveled, un-settled in the balance of my soul. Dark clouds surround my heart, poring drops of saddness within me.

I cannot see happiness, I cannot see the road to success, or the road where the warn light of posivity even exists. Thoughts of where I could be instead of where I am at now, seem so long and far away.

I am in deep slumber of feeling like crap and all. I need to fight this, I need to come out of it, I have been fighting this battle within me and I am exhausted. I need a muse of my own.
06/03 Direct Link
Thinking...

I am thinking about new premonitions, new ideas, of how to progress, my life. I am trying to think about the concept of life and how can change daily for me.

Sometimes I wish that I can become a butterfly fairy and fly away for a moment to see the glances of beauty in people's eyes for the short moments that they glance at me.

I just don't know what the conclusion/ or remedy to madness is anymore.Perhaps there are ways to avoid the redemption of reality. But in my mind it always seems to win the battle. But I am still fighting it. Fight a dream that keeps the fire within me burning.
06/04 Direct Link
Twitter

I find twitter to very interesting, I think the concept is cool to a degree.

But it does support my theory that we all want someone out there to hear us, pay attention to us, to acknowledge that we have something to share.

Even if it is something as small as eating a great sandwich or taking a 30 min shower. I decided to us it as a great network but to also get an opportunity to share my food for thought.

Though it is quite easy to fall into the random moments...like today's sandwich is interesting...I would prefer turkey. Shit like that!
06/05 Direct Link
Random Thought for the day

Attraction, and the dismay of rejection. What is your biggest challenge in that area? I know for me I could care less about what some random person thinks about me, but with my surrounding party I do.

But then again why am I trying to please someone else, regardless, I guess its that craving for approval. OR acknowledgement, but deep inside the battle of confidence, is always going.

I care, I don't care, I'm fat, I am silly, I'm dumb, woman are not the only victims of this because men are just the same, they are just more introvert about it.
06/06 Direct Link
DAMN YOU

You know I have a bone to pick with you...MAN!

The sexes are some interesting beings, its not just complicated to be a human in an constant rural world, but being a woman, and a woman of African descent. So there are so many layers to uncover on one's personal existence, and creativity.

But trying to understand the game of attraction with another sex is complicated, what the HELL IS THIS??

You like me or you don't, you wanna go there but you take two steps back. So what are my chances here? Please tell me because I am confused.
06/07 Direct Link
Interesting things about our future…and choices.

“Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.” -Samuel Johnson (Rasselas: The Prince of Abyssina)-

When you think about your life, and the dreams you had for it, it seemed like you would be graced with a moments of joy and bliss, to be that princess or that knight in shining armor. To ride that brand new convertible under the palm trees and feel wonderful with the breeze running through your hair, or for everyone to know your name after a profound performance on the stage. But then all of sudden someone comes to you and tells you that being a princess is more then wearing pretty gowns, and have a prince charming, that responsibility with leadership and decor, and manner effects your freedom to be yourself. Or that if you want your name to be forever known, you might have to sleep with a producer or a director, or come down on your knees to get an audition. Or being that knight may mean you might have to lose a friend in battle and perhaps lose a limb because the glory wasn’t all that gracious
06/08 Direct Link
Interesting things about our future…and choices. Part II

What happen to that innocence that you once held? That piece of naivety that made you feel that you could do anything be anyone you wanted? I was watching the Josephine Baker Story, and I realized how much that woman sacrificed to get where she got and only in the end to loose nearly all of it, almost put me to tears. To work so hard and remain with nothing, she had her adopted children which in the end is what mattered to her, and died yet still performing in her 60’s. But made me reflect and think about what am I really truly willing to sacrifice, dues always need to paid when achieving a dream, but I don’t want to lose my soul, my sense of self. I want to take the steps honorably, with integrity, and the only time I want to be one my knees, is to be praying to the man upstairs.
06/09 Direct Link
Interesting things about our future…and choices. Part III

I will acheive my dream, but I will look back and smile at my growth and challenges, and feel redemmed, and not give anyone else the chance to look at me with any doubt, and I suggest the same to you. Dream big, but only sacrifce what is truly neccessary and not what is necessary to someone elses benefits.

Check out more of my entries on my blog site: http://bohemianlady.wordpress.com.
06/10 Direct Link
LEGACY

How important is it to you to leave an important to leave a message, and live life to the fullest, and to feel great.

Give a message and leave positivity, pushing the limits and don't let anyone make you think that you are not worthy of independence, and making your mark.

I know for me being forgotten is something that I fear, I have something to say and so and bring, everyone has a purpose, be it small or big, believe in your worth.

So much of our society like to derive ourselves from each other, likes to push us away from ourselves makes us move away from discovering our true nature, don't let it...because you are stronger then that.
06/11 Direct Link
Laughter

Laughter is hilarious, and I think its funny and great. It can heal the soul and it can you make you feel things that can help bring perspective to things you may have not seen in life.

I have a pretty good sense of humor, twisted but simple. Life can be great and sometimes the hardest of times, can heal when moments are hurting.

Healing can be done on so many ways, its not always a medical thing. It can be as simple as a hearty life, something that takes away the stress in life, I always make it a moment to laugh before I sleep, to help remove the pressures of the day.
06/12 Direct Link
Arts Town Hall 2009

Today, my job help sponsor the 09 Arts Town Hall in Little Tokyo in LA. And the CEO & President of Americans for the Arts, Robert Lynch.

His is speech was very inspiring, and I am appreciated the many facts about art, and how much people are so unaware of its impact and existence to society. But one particular thought that was shared suck with me the most. He said that to the Native Americans, art was never a separate entity, it was apart of life. It was consumed in everything that they did, from food, clothing, etc.

Interesting...
06/13 Direct Link
Art Town Hall 2009 II

I thought that was the most interesting thought...art was a part of life, not a separate entity. When we put division on things, like race, and sexuality. We create the divisions amongst us.

Maybe its the issue that we all want to have our individuality, but one thing we cannot separate from ourselves that we are all human. No matter where are from we all bleed the same color, and are exposed to very similar emotions. Love, hate, anger, frustration, pain, lust. These are all things that stem within us.

Its not something we can escape.
06/14 Direct Link
A Conversation with Lust

"Hello Lust how are you?"

"Great now that your hear...I like your legs, can I touch them?"

"Ummm...not sure actually not really feeling in the mood today."

"Oh I can get you there, trust me, I am always right."

"Oh really? Always"

"Have I ever steered you wrong?"

"Are you serious? Is that a rhetorical question? Or are you that cocky."

"What? You tell me if I have fluxed your judgement on something."

"Yea does the name ***** remind you of anything?"

"Oh yea I forgot...that was an interesting moment."
06/15 Direct Link
Medicine

Something interesting to me about the perspective of medicine. It used to be before that medicine is meant to heal or bring healing to. There is a lot of things that can help assist the healing and such.

Today world we try to us medicine to heal every problem even things that are so natural, like a woman's period! Are you serious, trying to force our bodies to tell it when we should have our period. Who the hell thought about that!

There is a reason we, women, have our period, its a part of who we are, and the commercial tried to make it sound like its some sort of feminist movement or something, some advertisement.

Let medicine come back to its true meaning, healing and some big bureaucracy of money making.
06/16 Direct Link
What?

Questions, questions, questions....something that we don't do enough. Or we don't ask the right questions.

Never settle for just one answer find all solutions. Seek truth, sometimes, the truth is a puzzle within its self and never on levels of simplicity.

Although there are moments and past events in life that are obviously a lot more simple then we imply.

Sometimes I think it's within our intuition to not be satisfied, with our own selves and the outcome of our life. Procrastination is a bitch on tons of drugs, but it settles within in us like a small sick cell.
06/17 Direct Link
What your name?

I look inside a vivid mirror trying implore my thoughts of humanity existence, and wonder why I am even here lurking in its corner.

I try to wake to new purpose and demons of doubt hurt my fear, and I am loathing in the redemption of failure.

Can that even be possible, can that even matter to the doubts and fears and come from a place that is so deep within my un-severed mind.

Where am I and where is my existence? I think I am lonesome in this two fork road with nothing else to offer but my urgency for being unique.
06/18 Direct Link
Hello World

This is me....every morning I wake up thinking of the many things my life can consist of and what are my goals for it.

I am trying to distract myself from any unnecessary things that may distract me from my ultimate goals. I guess in some way I am trying to get things more aligned and in control.

I am open to opportunities, but at the same time I really wish I could be involved with some many things on different levels.

I will achieve many things this year, the summer solstice has not even began. Its the middle of the year and I have been warming up, but I haven't even gotten started!

Hello World this is me!
06/19 Direct Link
I'm thinking...



I am thinking of a word that rhymes with life, and its unsettled consciousness. I am wondering why in the world I am always at a certain point in my life, where I am always evaluating what us the best and worst thing coming.



My paranomal thinking goes beyond the sites of the present, and resides a certain kind of atmophere in my mind. I am really trying to understand, myself, and new beginnings and my terrible sense of of procrastination.



I am thinking of a word that rhymes with peace, but at the moment nothing comes to mind, except for its opposite counter point...Mr. War. I find that they are always fighting, but of course, peace is the passive aggrestive one.
  
06/20 Direct Link
Well hello there....

Amongest the shadows, comes a moment where one's dark secrets there. But I happen to stubble on mine, in a dream, but when I woke I realize that the dream awoke the secrets in my mind, and the arose from my mind into the depths of my hearts, sadden composure. 

I asked my friend, reality and asked her why she is always starting my a darkend heart. And she replied....

"I want to see what you become, now that truth has offered you her coat."

I turned my head to the west and realized that the sun was no longer on the horizon and cheeks became warm and wet from my tears for fears. I then small tap on my shoulder suddenly broke me from my sullen gaze, turning I came face to face, with a warm smile....

"Well hello there." Said Love.
06/21 Direct Link
I have no idea

Sometimes it amazes how much I am still in a place of fear. Fear of failing, fear of succeeding, fear of being nothing. I think there comes a time where, it would just be nice, if could just take a second to breath and feel ok with just sitting and emptying my mind.

But that is difficult for me, because I am always thinking 30 things at once. I am always full of ideas, and moments, and concepts for inspiration. And I always get frustrated in trying to get where I want. 

I need a muse.
06/22 Direct Link
My Theme Song

My theme song at the moment, is Jill Scott's Breathe. Check out her lyrics. 
 
I am not a regular microphone controller
I was in the womb with this,now I’m seconds
older
 
Hey hey hey hey
You busy comparin’me,like I need
comparison
How you gonna f**k with this,can’t live in the
air I’m in
Hey hey hey hey 

People,can you feel me now? Know feelin
gotch yow
 
I am just a messenger bringin ya somethin
very fertile
 
Hey hey hey hey
 
Yo! I am your president,yup and your future
The epitome of womanhood,just the one
to suit cha
 
Hey hey hey hey
 
I came to the stage with the doom doom
Motivated by the light,sight,and the
dynamite
 
Think about it all the time,so it’s comin’
naturally
 
Got a couple master teachers say I reach I
reached the half of me
 
So I be workin’on me happily cuz there’s
a mission
And the planet is positioned,hopin’,and
prayin’,and wishin’(wishin’,wishin’,wishin’,
wishin’,wishin’)
 
Hey hey hey hey
 
Take a long walk Sip some lemonade
Take your clothes off
 
Relax in the shade
Just breeeaaattthhhe… 
06/23 Direct Link
Rebirth

There is shawdow that hovers over the east of the womb that has caged me into its overbearing grief.
 

Inner Peace

But it is far from me, it has grown two legs and walked off into the existence of wishful thinking, and locked itself away, leaving me no key to find.

I cannot see, I have no eyes, I have no sound, I have nothing left but the imagination of the glory that awaits me upon the highest mountain, near the highest cloud in the sky that represents the taste of sweet satisfaction after achieving that of which I have set before me.

In my mind I am bound to no rules, no home, no restrictions.. for I choose life…I chosse to move, I choose to breath, I choose to see that which is right in front of me…my freedom. The sight of its branches out of my mind and into my soul giving me a feeling of a new chance, a new existence, new understanding… its clear. I was dead once and now I breathe.  

Copyright © 2006 Dzigbodi Djugba. All Rights Reserved

06/24 Direct Link
An Artists with Multiple Personalities

I call myself

the Artist of multiple personalities.
An artist of self-expressions that
surround the natural character of being
a human being.

Each of my artistic talents
contain a different concept of my inner self.
A different passion that I have unleashed OR yet to unleash.

I am an actress of royalty,
a photographer with a sublime eye.
A writer with a view of the world, no, a
writer who’s instrument colors pages with words of hidden meanings.
 
A painter with the heart of innocence.
A musician who’s calling awakes those who wish to return to their place
of inner peace.

In me resides all these different hearts,
and many more.
To each of these artist I represent many of so few
whose strength within their creativity could overpower the world.
And gain stability with ones heart, giving one love.

I am an artist of multiple souls,
I am unique.

Copyright © 2005 Dzigbodi Djugba. All Rights Reserved.

06/25 Direct Link
Michael Jackson- Is now Resting

It pains me to even write this entry, with this title, because I am still in shock and in disbelief. Why... is all I think of but it's an answer I cannot receive.

I grew up listening and watching this genius of an artist career, in addition to fear his greatest music video "Thriller" but today when they were showing snippets, I wasn't even in a fear watching it. Which surprised even myself.

Why did it have to happen at this moment, in death that I am no longer fearing it. But I sometimes it is very interesting to think about it.

Dying in the result of trying to comeback to give us one more cherished gift. But he already gave us many gifts...many gifts. That I will always cherish.

He held a powerful legacy...and one that will always be remembered, in my heart, and many others.
06/26 Direct Link
Time & healing

Today is a beautiful day, and healing is beautiful. I am listening to music, and sitting in my jammies.

Thinking about the news reports titled for the day, and possible the next week. And I am trying to think of ways to distant my mind, but part of me smiles and part cries in my heart.

But for once I feel like everyone is feeling exactly the way I feel, be it haters or the lovers, there are all feeling loss.

But it gives me a more perspective about life. And I surprise at myself for being stronger. I hope that my heart can heal, and be a little more stronger in faith, and to stop putting doubt in myself.

Prayers around the world asking for comfort, for MJ's family and childern.
06/27 Direct Link
What's new Pussycat?

I have no idea what is the deal with the laws of attraction, I think I speak a lot about this subject because it is something that seems to always facinate me but at the same time, brothers... no wait troubles me.

I guess because I just happend to have way more frustration on the fact that I am told that I a pretty, fine, beautiful, cute. Or typical adjectives, for describing beauty.

As for actions, I am hollered, romanaced in spainish, whistled, flirt at, and look at up and down with lust, requested phone numbers, while driving of course.
06/28 Direct Link
I guess I am just girl in the world.

So I have beening thinking about much I am being looked upon and expected to behave. Not that I am new to this concept but it makes it very interesting to even except the ridiculous expectations.

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and we were discussing the ideas how some men like to be dominating (most) and feared. Interesting idea, sorry to dissappoint you, but I am now not the one to be intiminated by asswholes.

Only to those I am attaracted to, the nice men. 
 
06/29 Direct Link
Hi

Two syllables, and a single word. And simple ice breaker this word can/could be. If said with the appropriate emotion. But sometimes, it is not. 

Then the word instead becomes and excuse and not an opening for conversation. Sometimes we are so caught up in our own world or problems and issues, its often very difficult to me polite, to just state a simple hello.

I could be a great intro to a guy you may like, but I guess the next concept would be what to say afterwards.

I don't know I think its very interesting. Umm.
 
06/30 Direct Link
Happy Birthday Blessings to Faith....

I have a sister, in fact I have many, and this is an ode to her alter ego, Faith.

I have been told that she is a charmer, and confidence is in her shadow. With a big smile, and hair that could knock out anyone in her way. She twirls, and twirls, and right before my eyes, the once little girl, was now a teenager. 

I laugh.

Because I am aging, I am the eldest, yet I see her and everyone around her growing! Its odd to me for I am really not that old, but picture give me memories, of her birth, to now her new journey into womanhood. She still has a ways to go...

But she will be fine, because she is faith in its almost purest form. 

I don't say it much but I always mean it, I love them all and I wish you my little sister I very special Birthday!