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On the first day of the new decade I decided to write again.
I never really stopped, but I stopped logging in here. I decided to focus my efforts elsewhere, partly because I wasn't proud of my older writing here, partly because I realized more and more how limited my days really were, and maybe partly because 100 Words seemed to reflect a stagnation I felt within myself.
Updates have been on the horizon for years now, but they never happen... not here, and not with me.
Maybe all this will change now. I hope we both revitalize.
So I mentioned I started writing on the first of the New Year.
What I didn't mention is that I couldn't really start at all. I logged in again for the first time in years. I made my way to the new and improved 'rich text editor' (still in BETA), and I started typing... but no words came out.
I mean they literally didn't show. Nothing happened. I couldn't write.
I wrote up an email to staff, but the contact form wouldn't send it either. Captcha error.
Two days later: I realize I had HTTPS Everywhere activated.
This ain't HTTPS.
...and that's a bit of a problem, not just security-wise but also SEO-wise, since Google now prioritizes websites with an SSL certificate, and may even mark sites that don't as unsafe.
Most of the site still loads even with a plugin that disables unsafe elements, but apparently not embedded elements like the text editor, or the captcha box. If any one update's on the horizon... *hint hint - omitted from the one hundred word word count*
So I really didn't get started with this the first day of the year after all, but I'm on it now and I'm hoping to catch up. Like I used to be.
Another thing that may have kept me away the last couple of years would be the lack of commitment.
And lack of incentive for commitment.
When you don't have to write these hundred words every day then... you don't.
You skip a day.
You make it a habit to catch up on the last day of the month or so, and at that point it's really not the same thing any longer. It's not that daily little word scrap that kickstarts your day. More like an obligation. More like taxes.
More filler. Less killer. More falser. Less iller.
That's it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it...
Yeah I know. 2020: This ain't the way to go.
Currently documented (by myself) bugs on 100 words dot com:
- Double login confirmation. How does that work?
- Member search currently gives a 404 error.
- You can sign up even when logged in.
- There's no SSL. Big thing! Really.
- Formatting doesn't work.
The advent feature however is a pretty neat little thing, unlocking what entries other people have written for a particular day when you complete your own... this might've been the motivation I was missing.
And maybe there's a real community here too, just lying dormant under the surface. Unseeable for the untrained, or uninitiated, eye.
I. Hey. That's me.
I pretty much skimmed through the entire site yesterday. Page by page. Looking for errors. Not typos, mind you, but more functional ones. Whatever ones you might run into once you're logged in, and I found a few of them.
I wonder how many people donate to PayPal over here.
I wonder how many poets. I wonder how many writers. I wonder how many people were here from the start, versus how many sign up now.
I wonder how many people don't complete a single month, when it feels like it took me a decade just to get to fifty.
It's such a delightful candy. Mint. Chocolate. Crisp, sweet and creamy... how can you ever tire of it? Maybe just a bit too sweet.
We're trying to the limited edition pineapple/mango variety right now, this year, and it's great... just maybe just a bit too sweet.
It's the first spin-off edition I've ever seen, or tried, and I've never seen it in regular shops. I found it via a source for leftover inventory, and it makes me wonder hat other varieties I might have been missing out on up till now.
Hopefully they just started this.
A two year pause might be a good thing.
It feels like my interest in not just 100 Words, but in writing overall is on a rise, and it might just be thanks to the former. On how small routines like this kickstart a so much larger interest. It's pretty cool innit?
I don't mean to make this whole routine feel like wasted time this time either. I mean to make it inspire me or others, and maybe both. It's gone from vent more to: unconventional outlet of wisdom.
At least now, as the New Year's still young and hopeful.
I raised a tent once. Me and my big bro. We carried out the old cloth one onto the summer lawn, and put a heavy canvas over it, pushed wooden or wire sticks into the dirt and tied it all together, and I'm not sure what we did after that...
Did we actually sleep in the tent? Did we sit there and play games? Did we spend the day there, or the night, or a weekend, or a week? Neath the stars? Away from light?
Another time I went camping with a buddy. Didn't sleep a blink.
I love nature though.
Even if I don't love tents I love nature.
And I wonder if it'd be easier to sleep beneath the stars than beneath a roof - considering I cover the windows with a heavy blanket as to keep out all sunlight (more like lamplight) and get a good night's rest that seems unlikely...
But maybe it's a different thing when you're really sleeping on the ground; underneath the stars.
At least it definitely sounds a lot more romantic.
And those blanket fears I need to vanquish.
Let the light in: let's make a banquet.
I'm not German but hey I've no sermons!
Those guys work hard ever day and keep the time.
And if I was as meticulous in mind I'd fall in line, too.
if someone vowed to make us all great and make us prime.
Let us take over the world, our race above all others.
We might know that it's wrong but still our ego isn't smothered.
And if we're good dictators we can make the world a better place.
Dreams of greatness lest we chase.
Everybody wants peace and prosperity but what for?
Maybe at peace = off war.
It's a good thing today ain't a Friday...
Though I'm not superstitious...
But it's a good thing today ain't a Friday...
Cause I don't feel delicious...
It's a good thing today ain't a Friday...
Cause I feel kinda tired...
But that's how you feel on Mondays, no?
When everything is glum and woe.
When weekend's done, and weekday's start,
The stuff begins, the air departs,
You're gruff and grim, of cheerful tart,
But get buff and chin-up and here we'll be smarter!
You're a hero today,
Not a martyr.
Good thing today ain't a Friday.
Today is my day.
I started the year pretty ambitiously, but with time the ambition fades, and makes way for routine again, and here I am writing my hundred words per day as if it's still two thousand fourteen.
In a way it feels like a step back. Like a relapse. Like I was striving to do bigger things with my time, yet here I am getting petty. Focusing on tasks that are easiest to accomplish rather than the big ones: The books. The albums. The creative enterprises I dream of.
Makes me wonder: are there any legit authors here...? It is good practice...
What to do when your Windows 7 computer won't start?
1. Panic. Since support for Windows 7 ended just yesterday, and there just might be some enormous security vulnerability out since then.
2. Get conspiratorial. Since support for Windows 7 ended yesterday, and of course Microsoft wants you to move on to newer versions.
3. Run startup repair and wait until it fixes the issue.
Yet even after #3 a lingering sense of #1, and suspicions of #2 persist. But I'm not moving Microsoft! Not until you get back to an interface that I love. A well-rounded one.
Listening to Nick Bostrom on Joe Rogan. Getting all sorts of new perspectives...
For example: would living in a simulation have any real disadvantages over biological life? Would it be able to solve our existential angst? Give us purpose? Let us interact on an entirely different level than the way us humans normally do, drastically improving both our social and cognitive abilities?
And if it's a simulation on par with our real-world experience: would the only real argument against it be that it simply isn't real?
Assuming a simulation isn't inherently evil, but actually a potential improvement.
Simulations.... I can't think of too many things simultaneously, so I focus on this one.
Does that mean I'm living in a simulation?
Similarly to how games render horizons only when you get close enough to actually perceive them (in old games or on old computers you could see the visual limitations of your hardware), could a simulation allow us only a certain capacity to think?
What if we are really Gods, with unlimited capabilities, trapped in a simulation that incapacitates us entirely. Distances us from the capabilities the future us have honed. Showing us shadows of our former selves.
You know what, man?
...nah, I don't know. I'm not sure. I'm indecisive.
I spend my days like I'm on a sky lift... just looking down. At the world beneath me. At the world, Besides, it's: like I'm God.
And that's not all wrong is it?
We make technologies that don't belong.
We aspire, and make our songs.
We rise higher than giraffe necks.
So why would you worry about trampling some peeps with all this damn stress. Seeps in through the creeks. Through every crevice. Through every crack.
I want my calm. I want my old life back.
I was about to check some previous posts of the year for inspiration, and I accidentally hit January LAST year. Around this same time - one year ago - I was apparently eating at this particular restaurant, for the second time, and it was great, but I still remember a slight disappointment that when tasting their wine I went for the alcohol-free alternative, believing it was the real thing, and thus didn't get the buzz I was looking forward to.
Not that I just dine for the wine, but I rarely drink, and the first time was inspiring.
Can't write here on FireFox.
I don't know why. I thought it might be my plugins that block out certain requests, or keep everything HTTPS (the latter one's HTTPS Everywhere if you need it - it's a good one to keep around), but as it turns out those didn't have anything to do with it after all.
I've been writing these things on Chrome all this month, thus far, but now that I finally switch back to my favorite browser it just ain't happening. The text box won't load. Something keeps me distant from those words I cherish...
Bug fixes? Hope.
This number makes me think of Poker.
Well no, not Poker, but Cards. That other game that goes by this particular number.
Or wait, maybe I'm thinking of Roulette...? No? Blackjack? What am I thinking about?
I probably wouldn't do so well in Casino Royale huh. I wouldn't do so well as a dealer nor as a player. I wouldn't know the rules of the game. I wouldn't have the finesse or the strategy, or the foresight, or the eyesight to actually see the cards.
Plus I wouldn't be able to cheat cause I'm no good at slight of hand.
Like the ozone. It's a different world that I'm on! Or another layer player. Don't tell me that I'm wrong! Listen to Salt N Peppa, and then a little bit of Slayer. The rhythm's in my blood so you can't tell me I'm Mayor.
Cause I'm an artist! Days and days: I've got bars with. And I ain't even started my life: no own apartment. Living so long at home has got me starstuck, not starstruck, but... can you swear here? Was about rhyme that with some a**e f*'k.
But maybe best keep it family friendly. It's ending. Word.
I'm falling a bit behind on my writing again, as it always seems I do with services such as this... but at least it's easy to catch up here. Just a few days now. A couple weeks, maybe. Just a few hundreds words, thus... or maybe just a little over a thousand.
Maybe it's not that little after all, but at 200 WPM it's bound to go fast. In theory that's just a few minutes to catch up.
In practice: a bit more, of course.
But I write like the wind. In Christopher Cross voice: write like the wind...
Christopher Cross, by the way, is one of those artists I've never formerly known of by name.
I've heard his one track - the one somewhat paraphrased in the previous entry - a bundle of times, but I never knew his name. Not until I was writing these words and it dawned on me that I was hearing his voice in my head as I wrote those lines...
And that other people probably wouldn't if I didn't mention the similarities between my line and that aforementioned one song.
There you go. An old artist introduction just like that.
It's a good song.
...then again it never ends! It just keeps on going. I skipped a couple days but now the rhyming has flown in, again. And it's flowing strong and long like the ocean. For days and days. Rage of Machine-like rage. At the waste we place. In our watery space. All that slaughter and craze. Fish getting choked by plastic... we're far from a graceful species. Not to mention all the feces. That seeps through the pipes into the wildlife as we see fit...
We live the wild life, but it's not quite alright right? Save the world y'all.
This is some deep shit.
I mean it's like it lives in the abyss, not that it has a profound or unsound meaning.
I feel I can kickstart my spark right here! My art departs! My heart is near! I start to thwart! All writers block. I might have heightened knocks. Heaven's door. Flight path goes high across.
But I'm not cross no. Cause I'm no John Doe. My inspiration is endless... like a long pole.
And you can tell me to stop cause I won't listen I rock.
This is starting to sounds like: my lyrics back when: I made shit happen.
Speaking of that last line in that last rhyme:
I don't really feel like I've become less efficient, just that I've become different, when it comes to handling my time.
I like to think before I write, and think as I write, and when I've written then I don't just post it but I revise.
And I'm a bit more tired, so I sometimes rest, get up and walk around, or shut my eyes.
I do miss the days of spontaneity and proficiency, but I'm better now, even though I've weathered down efficiency.
Quality over quantity, as we age all we see.
I'm different with my time now. I have more responsibilities now. I feel like I shed small bits of realizations as I type these words.
Like I haven't really stopped to think about how I've changed, or that I felt I'd changed in other ways than I really had...
Like it's not so depressing over all when you know the truth. When you know how you work. When you embrace (or at least accept) the changes you go through.
Though some may be willed and some might not be.
I'm also not as bothered by headaches.
All comes and goes.
And also, also: word counts.
As transient as everything else is, so are words. The numbers. The counts. As the text editor changed, so did the ways different special characters and spaces were counted within the 'total word count' for these posts, and as such a lot of the posts I had already posted, that were supposedly an exact one hundred words at the time of posting, lost their exactness.
So thus: future counts became less exact too. Because I realize they're not permanent. Maybe the counter will change again.
I do try to keep it a hundred, but if...
I visited Noodle Mama last year too. Had a bowl of noodles and shrimps, and it was fantastic. They sent me a rebate for my birthday as well, but since my birthday's in the middle of summer, and I'm just nowhere near a Noodle Mama at that time of year (the family home is way up North - Noodle Mama is South), then I could nae get those noodles and stuff my mouth.
But it's alright.
I've been to some inspiring restaurants this year too.
Hamburgarprinsen in Sundbyberg was great, for starters, and a few more are lined up now...
...and speaking of tastes: the taste of victory when you complete your first month of the year is pretty good too!
Remember I mentioned I was falling behind a few entries back? Yes, that's how far I was falling behind. But I'm back on track now, and it didn't take just a few minutes, as I maybe optimistically entertained the thought that it might take, but instead the whole day. Pretty much.
I've had this tab in the background and been to it in sessions, writing a few, doing something else, going back to it... but now it's done.
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