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I watched a mini-series on TV tonight called Jonestown: Terror in the Jungle – Death in the Promised Land. This event in history took place around 1977-1978. A man name Jim Jones, a true psychotic narcissist, convinced, hundreds of vulnerable lost people, who needed something to believe in, to follow and worship him like a self-appointed god. He brainwashed approximately 910 human beings, adults with children, that they were being oppressed by society, and that they should kill themselves, by drinking a cyanide laced grape drink, for their cause. No one should be able to make good people feel that low.
I took time today to sit and clear my mind, to pause and think about things I still want to do. I thought about going to the Grand Canyon and riding a horse down the steep trails all the way to the bottom, but first, I must learn how to ride a horse. Yet another thing I can add to my list. Maybe I can get in shape, drop a pound or two. Now that I am working on my writing skills, perhaps I should take another writing course. You never take enough writing courses when your passion is writing.
“Sometimes you feel like a nut” describes two candy bars; but, can you relate when your life feels a bit off kilter. Sometimes you really feel like a nut; you cannot handle the surreal feeling like you are right on the verge of a crazy. Do you remember having brain dumps? You come out of the other side of lost moments, thinking, I forgot what I was going to say or what was I getting ready to do? Just remember, even a sane person might say, “sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t”, and you still are sane.
Midnight, the bewitching hour as the clock strikes twelve. Many haunting stories have come from the passing of time, tic tock. Men have turned from Adonis to massive. You cannot stop time and time does not stop. You look in the mirror as the years go by and you see what time has to offer and hope it is kind. I read a mystery of about a man who worshiped youth; he did not want to age. He had a portrait painted of himself and he made a deal with devil to defeat the affects of time and he lost.
I have a melody in my head and heart. It is swirling round and round and enchanting my mind. Music is the intoxicating and soothing to me. I love how it takes me in and of a moment. We must start with a piano sonata; the musician speaks to me with ever note played. I heard that music is the food of love. I can imagine love have a spoonful of Yo-Yo Ma’s melodic cello and a bowl full of smooth jazz. I have music in my soul, floating through clouds at night and raining like dew in the morning.
The definition of exhaustion is only tired. Tired of being afraid of socializing with friends, tired of being locked up in our own homes watching reruns of reruns. We are tired of the fearful looks you get because of a simple cough or sneeze that used to be no big deal. The world is on extreme sensitivity pills; and issues that were overlooked for decades are now burning the country down. The whole world will struggle with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and be required to wear PTSD alert bracelets. Psychotherapy will become the new norm for our routine health checkups.
I started writing a story about an exotic dancer, who was trying to change her life and become someone she thought was better. She had a boyfriend she thought had great prospects and she knew he would make her better and he wanted to marry her. She was thinking about taking business classes; she knew she was smart, and dancing was her fast track way out. The story was told from her day to day point of view, even when her body was found in the dumpster behind the club where she worked. She starts her story describing her plans.
In my dream I went to heaven and back again. I saw the colors of rainbows bouncing in and out of billowing clouds. I solved world hunger with just a dollar, and now, we all stand just a little taller. In my dream I felt like royalty, proud and assured; I saw across many oceans from one shore. I cured diseases like cancer, diabetes, and COVID-19 with vitamin C and fish. We all lived in mansions and wore multi-color robes. In my dream, I knew the world’s story from beginning to the end, and in the end, we all win.
The topic for today is meet a new friend, get to know someone unlike yourself, expand your views, be woke. If you have never had a discussion with someone from another culture, another race; you have missed out on a mind broadening adventure. If you are shy or fear rejection, just try stepping out of your comfort zone. Do you judge a person at first glance or give everyone a chance? Do you live in an environment of hate, us against you, living behind a gate? Why can’t we start with hello, where are you from; what is you name.
The danger of teleworking is getting used to it. I never wanted to telework; I did not like the idea of bringing work home. Home is my sanctuary, my peaceful space. I compartmentalize my life and home falls into my personal section. I fully understand that work pays for that personal section, and, the need to stay safe during the COVID scare; teleworking is my only option. Ok, I am teleworking, and I realized that I have gotten too used to it and there lies another problem. Now, I no longer want to go back into the office, go figure.
Finding your balance, is the first thing that we should do. Powering through was the call of warriors and the mantra of most injured athletes. Train through the pain; suck is up and press on is the cause of most sports medicine wings at hospitals. As with most living organisms, there is a need for balance, or the body grows out of control. I started using an app called CALM and the basis of the app is learning to center your thoughts to meditate. This is nature’s way of making us take time to smell the roses and find balance.
Do you believe in second chances, a new lease on life, near death survival story, or reincarnation? I wonder what a second chance would look like. You wake up months later, when you thought, this is it. You are saying your last goodbyes to your family as they gather around you. It’s breaking your heart because you knew you are leaving them; and then, you wake up. Or, you leave, and the next thing you know, everything is different, except you. What if you were given that gift of survival or reincarnation and you remember everything; what would you do?
Hello world: happy to be here alive and well, when so many are not. I have learned to appreciate life, health, and toilet paper. Can you believe that a roll of toilet paper would be as valuable as money? And let’s talk about hand sanitizer, or the lack of hand sanitizer and rubbing alcohol. Rubbing alcohol used to gather dust on drug store shelves. We kept bottles of rubbing alcohol in the house for years. I appreciate that I still have a job, as precarious as it feels and I wonder, how long we can contain the world's powder kegs.
I start today’s writing with the disclaimer that I am not a poet. I cannot rhyme worth a dime and I do not get the haiku, five lines nine…. A sonnet is beautiful, but I do not understand the rules, and it is a little formal for my groove. I do not consider myself the most humorous being, so my limericks would be crude, but not keeping in time, and absolutely, no rhyme. Lyrically, I am challenged and not very emotional, not love torn, and not wary; so, I say again, I am not a poet and I know it.
Let’s go where the stars reside and the sun revives. I ponder if we are alone here; but I cannot conceive that in this vast universe that we are all that exists. I want to know about black holes; what is the singularity and the event horizon. Can we step in here and come out there or anywhere in a blink of an eye? Where does the big bang end; where does another world like ours begin? I watched a movie where alien beings left DNA for humans to begin and they are waiting for us on the other end?
Serendipity, a fortunate accident. Do you believe in faith, destiny; life will happen as it is meant to be. Somewhere in the world there is the perfect person for everyone; our split-apart. There is an old tale that we were created in heaven as twins, connected at the navel; we were split apart and sent to earth separately. If you find your other half, as we are all meant to do, you will be happy for the rest of your life. If you do not find your other half, you would never be satisfied, a constant yearning in the heart.
Writing a short story is a daunting task. The opening line must grab and pull the reader down the rabbit hole as the author lays the trap. The next step is to mesmerize and transport you into the home of the hero or heroine. The reader must feel a kindship with the main character and be invested in their outcome. In a good story the dodges bullets in a shootout, breathes hard when the heroine runs, and you hurt when she gets hit on the head. Writing a short story; you get in and get out and reap the rewards.
Tic tock as the children's clock strikes 11:00 and you get to exhale. You day has been long; teaching, playing, and protecting your children from harm. Did you ever think you would save your children’s lives by keeping them home from school, the playground, and from their friends? This does not happen in real life. I went to the grocery store and as I was leaving, I saw a woman drop her bottled waters on the ground in the parking lot. Normally I would help her pick the water up, but I was afraid she would be afraid of me.
One of my favorite past times at night is to drink a cup of tea and watch a TED talk to relax. I like that the speakers are from all over the world and from all walks of life. The topics are innovative, controversial, and short; you never get bored. All the science discussions I slept through in school; I now learn through TED talks; the talks are podcases on steroids. Learning about DNA was one of the hardest subjects to understand in school and now I cannot get enough of it. If you have an idea worth sharing, share.
Breathe, in and out, with deep cleansing breaths and meditate. Release the stress of the day and drop it at the door. Sit on your most comfortable chair, couch, or floor, put your feet up, drink a glass of chardonnay, and do not forget to breathe. Put your favorite movie on or binge watch a series you missed but make it something mellow and stress free. The rule of thumb is, right before you go to sleep take it down a notch; play a soothing jazz groove, do your easiest yoga pose, and for goodness sake, don’t forget to breathe.
I am imagining where I would love to live when I retire and what a perfect home would look like. My plan is to live on a small island near a small town, not to nearby, but close. Just a beautiful peaceful place to make a forever home with a great family room for game nights. I imagine we need a sunroom to grow an herb garden with lavender beds for a calm natural environment. Of course, this beautiful place would need a beautiful study with French doors to write my novel. And remember, this is in a picture-perfect home.
I read an article today, the title, “I Like to teach the world to sing.” The article was about singing from our hearts and expressing yourselves. The illustration was a young lady dancing in paint with music notes drawn from her ankles to her belly. She had headphones on, with a line, connected to the sky; she had a guitar in one hand and a pen in her other hand, as she wrote on sheet music. I would like to teach the world to sing was clear. The article is motivation for people to write and sing, just for fun.
Write anything write everything; don’t limit yourself to your comfort zone. Write the sky is green even if it blue, what an interesting discussion. Take on a story with a character that is uncomfortable to your sensibilities, but it unfolds to the story untold. Write about sound, taste, or colors; describe the perfect artist. Write about health, wealth, and kindness. Stretch yourself beyond your imagination, really bend your mind. Take inspiration from movies, music, the dictionary, or the zoo. Describe a five-footed animal with a red nose or green shoes. You discovered that you are fascinated by giraffes at 52.
Remember the little shops on the corner in the old neighborhoods. My grandmother lived I a small neighborhood; everyone knew each other; it was expected of you to speak to your older neighbors as you passed their porches. Your neighbors brought meals and baked goods to the sick or to families when someone died. Children were raised by their parents and the neighbors; it takes a village. I loved walking the neighborhood and speaking to the older folks, whom I didn’t know, but we still spoke. I loved dill pickles and pickled eggs from the little shop on the corner.
I am tired tonight and I really do not feel like writing, but I want to push myself. Writing means a lot to me; it is my way of expressing myself and taking the stress out of my day. I had a challenging day today because, as usual, I must prove to myself that I am competent to still do my job. I was always to told that I will know when it is time to go, when I can no longer find a reason to stay. Well, I think today is the day to start my countdown to retirement.
I had an instance of clarity and one word gave me that ah ha moment. I spelled the word “breathe” wrong in a correspondence to a relative. This person made sure to correct me on the spelling, breathe vs breath, with a subtle rebuke that made me feel belittled, her normal MO. I let this encounter depress me until one day I saw a magazine titled, “Breathe.” The entire magazine was about breathing to relax. There are other things to be depressed about. The news is overwhelmed with the death of a man whose dying words were, “I can’t breathe.”
I have a stomachache; a miserable problem to have right before you go to bed. I must have eaten something that my body did not like but my mind did. The battle going on in my tummy, yes tummy, is a true world war III; it is a major thunderstorm. I’m a baby when it comes to pain or minor discomfort, but I did have a baby. A headache or a toothache, forget about it; the brave goes right out the window. Don’t believe the propaganda that women have a greater threshold for pain because of childbirth; it’s a lie!
Mind over matter is a loaded expression. I wonder how much our mind can control our matter. It would be nice if we could heal our own illnesses. Can you image that we could suddenly heal the world from COVID? In the blink of an eye everyone starts healing; patients in hospitals getting off ventilators, standing up and walking out of hospitals. Mind over matter could heal mental illness and hatred; the pain of our history that is causing so much pain. Mind over matter is the modern fountain of youth; to see our senior citizens celebrating their youth again.
How to form a habit, I am not sure what the answer is, but I have heard theories. There are several expert opinions on the time is takes, days, hours it takes to form a habit. First theory, it takes 21 repetitions to create a memory, it takes 66 days to form a habit…. Ok, the experts have spoken about making it a habit; but what makes experts. Now, the rules vary on that too, and everyone has a theory; 10,000 hours of experience; education…. After all is said, and I think all the experts will agree, it is practice.
Raising children, the dos and don’ts. Anyone who has children knows that things have changed significantly since we were children. The rules, theories, and new law have created and different type of child. The new questions to raising children since Dr. Spock’s spank/don’t spank theories; do we let the children stay home alone before the age of 12, do they need a phone, or can they go to church alone? Why do we have so many Amber Alerts? Are we protecting our children to the point of disabling them; should we make them work for everything to make them strong?
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