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Before I started writing for this project, I read a lot of other peopleís entries. Some were really good; thatís what made me want to be a part of it. Some were really boring; thatís probably what mine will be like. Hopefully, after several batches of one hundred word days I will be able to write better. Hopefully, Iím not doomed to a life of being a horrible writer. I think I will see improvement and hope that I can be consistent. Then maybe someday I wonít think this was all a waste of my time. That would be great!
Ahh, lunchtime. My favorite part of the day that is spent in the office. Itís not much different from the rest of the day. I get the same amount of work done regardless of whether Iím on the clock or not. There is nobody here, though, at lunchtime and that brings a sense of freedom with it. There is much less douchebaggery when the others are gone, too.
I donít feel the least bit bad about slacking off at work. Iíve been doing it for months now and no one even notices. We are not even yet. Not even close.
What goes on at the Humanistic Psychoanalysis place next door. I want to bug the office. There must be all kinds of great stories to be heard in there. Crazy is crazy and we all have issues, but what the Hell are you thinking when you consciously choose to go to a humanistic psychoanalyzer. In a place like that, Iíd think that the therapist is at least as crazy as the patient. Just go to a real psychiatrist you freak. Now I am going to leave, but first I must tap my desk thrice and wiggle by big toe twice.
Would you stop already with the printing? The printer is right next to my desk you know. That noise is not exactly conducive to work. I sit here and slave away while carpal tunnel sets in and a hump forms in my back. Now hurry up and come and get your report and then go away so I can sit here and watch the palm trees serenade the sun as it dances gleefully on the mid-afternoon sea. I only have a couple more hours before I go home you know, and the sunset is only this beautiful for a while.
It was a dark and stormy night.
No creativity was in sight.
But I continued my plight
for the words numbered right.
I was in for a fight,
so I summoned all of my might.
I was given a terrible fright.
As I could not see the light.
And then came the mite.
The one with the sinister bite.
As he was hit by a kite
I found it rather trite.
That through all of my spite,
the madam would cite,
my lack of being polite,
as well as my stature (as in height),
for not having sex after twilight.
Please stand by for the following public service announcement. This is directed to the guy in the ďpoppedĒ dragon-print collared shirt rocking the faux hawk, but everyone should pay attention. There has been an alarming number of douchebags seen in the area. Donít be alarmed. The douchebag cannot hurt you if you just ignore him. You must be careful, though. For, if you encourage him in any way, the consequences could be dire. The douchebag craves attention and often travels in packs. One will mimic another and that is how infestation reaches unbearable levels. You have been warned. Take heed.
Seriously. Are you really going to look at me like that after you ran a stop sign? Iím soooo sorry that you had to slow down as I walked to my car. Actually youíre right. Iím the asshole. Obviously, you were in a hurry. I should have realized that as I saw you bounce over that speed bump and neglect the three foot long letters spelling out ďSTOPĒ on your way through the intersection. How thoughtless of me. I apologize for making you take an extra half second to reach the line of cars waiting at the red light ahead.
His feet strapped firmly to the board, he raced toward the oncoming wave. Just as he reached it, he shifted the kite to allow the full force of the wind to launch him into the air. For one brief moment he experienced both the tranquility of being "in the zone" and the rush of flying over a crashing wave. Unapologetically, he was brought crashing down into the sea by the sounds of the printer next to him. Another perfect day for playing in the water ruined by a day at the office. Will he ever break free of this monotony?
He never thought he would find himself in the big city and he never wanted to. He was there now, though, and there was only one thing on his mind. He had a little score to settle before he could get away from the stench of a dirty overcrowded filled-with-assholes city and back to the sweet freedom of suburbia. The country was too boring and the city too overpowering. The suburbs were the only place Frank ever cared to be. What a boring life he leads. Should have stayed home, though. So he wouldnít have been hit by that bus.
I am so excited to hear all of the great news from your most recent meetings. Wait a second. Itís just the same crap Iíve been hearing for the last four years. Give me just enough information so you canít be accused of keeping everything about this company hidden. It is too little too late. Iíd rather you just left me be until I can save enough for my trip. Iíll continue to do the work Iím asked to do, but the less time I have to spend actually conversing with you phonies, the better. Talking to you is intolerable.
Donít greet me like we are friends. You are the BIGGEST ASSHOLE Iíve ever had the displeasure of working with. You get off on putting other people down. You use intimidation and manipulation to get your way and then you throw a temper tantrum when someone calls you on it. The only reason Iím still working here is because youíve been out of the office for the last three months. Would you still be such a dick if you werenít two hundred pounds overweight? Iím sure you would. Why donít you do the world a favor and drop dead? Please.
Four more months
Quit my job
A six month trip
I donít speak Spanish now
I donít have much money now
Partying, fishing, diving, hiking, ancient ruins, soccer, surfing, wine country, food, border crossings, sketchy people, great people, photography, writing, rainforest, mountains, desert, hammocks, beaches, beer
Iíll speak Spanish then
Iíll have even less money then
What will I do when itís over
Get another job
It has to be something I enjoy, but I donít know what that is
Back to school
Too old for that
Snickers versus Milky Way. Youíve got to be kidding me. How can anyone like Milky Way better than Snickers. Thatís like preferring getting kicked in the nuts over getting a blow job. Iím dumbfounded when I contemplate what a person must be thinking when they decide Milky Way is better than Snickers. This could be an indication of severe mental problems. Maybe I should stay away from her in case she flips out and tries to kill me. I would have never thought something like that was possible. Itís at least as likely as liking Milky Way better than Snickers.
Hello blonde girl with a car as crappy as mine. I see you hiding behind your movie star glasses and wonder what more there is to know about you. Do you sigh every time you wish your radio worked? Do you wonder how much better life would be if your air conditioning worked? How much do you think it would cost to fix the leak in the power steering system? I just hope my car can last through January and then that someone will buy it for at least fifteen hundred dollars. Then I am off for an epic adventure.
The calamari steak at Buzzís is quite possibly the best thing I have ever eaten. The perfect Sunday involves three mai taiís, the calamari steak, and lazily lounging around on Kailua beach. I will be sad when those days are not possible because I have moved away, but I am sure I will find new places to hang out that make me just as happy. Besides, I can not stay in the same place forever. It is time to move on and find new adventures. Maybe some day I will be back. No one knows what the future will bring.
I have been training for a marathon for about a month now. I ran eight miles in one hour and fifteen minutes the other day. If I keep training I think I will be able to do it. The only problem is that the race is less than two months away. Compounding that problem is the fact that I cut my foot over the weekend and canít run right now. Even though I was what some people would call slightly intoxicated and what other people might call completely fucking wasted, I maintain that alcohol played no factor in the injury.
The first time I saw her I was trying not to let my buddyís girlfriend catch me watching her ass as she walked down the beach. It was the three of us (my friend, his girl, me with no date). Soon it was the six of us after she stole my seat and brought two dudes with her. I did not like her and then the booze began to flow and I thought she was giving me ďThe Vibe.Ē We all went out to dinner and met with some other people. We both went home with someone else that night.
What a wonderful place to work. I canít wait for the big fat man and his wife to get back. Theyíre so pleasant to be around. They are never hypocritical and always helpful and understanding. Everyone else here makes me feel so lucky to work here too. Theyíre all so competent, level-headed and helpful. I just know that working here will enable me to perform at a much higher level in the future. Every day I learn new things about business and technology. Most people pay good money for an education like this. I actually get paid, maybe even overpaid.
As the weekend approaches more time is spent staring out the window daydreaming and less time is spent caring about whether or not he gets called out for slacking off at work. If I were to get fired right now I could look forward to a long weekend, he thought. I have to work through the end of the year, though. At least until Christmas time and then there would be enough money to take off and just travel for a while. He could not wait to unleash the burden of everyday responsibilities that go along with a typical life.
She said her aunt might be able to hook us up with jobs in Sweden. Well, her aunt could probably hook her up with one. I guess I would take a job in Sweden just for the change of pace and to experience living in a different country. Plus Scandinavianís get a lot of vacation and we could travel all over Europe pretty easily from there. The cold is really the only major drawback that I can think of. Iíll just have to focus on snowboarding instead of ocean sports. At least itís good to have the option for now.
Sloshball was pretty sweet; as it usually is. It is getting more organized and more and more people are starting to show up. The higher profile can be dangerous, though. The cops have shown up the last two times. They donít seem to mind too much though. I think they are just making sure we are not out there all night. The music and the people tend to get a little louder as the afternoon stretches into the evening. This is probably the biggest reason for the increased attention from the authorities. I hope to play again before I leave.
I watched Peel last night. I thought it would get me pumped up about going to Peru. In some respects I suppose it did, but the film highlighted a lot of the bad things that we will likely face down there. The guys in this film had a security guard traveling with them and they were still robbed and chased and threatened. They also met some amazing people and saw some amazing places. As long as we donít get severely injured or lose everything to theft, I think our trip will be all we are hoping for. I canít wait.
It appears that I will be left alone for Christmas and also forced to find a new place to live for my last two months in Honolulu. Itís kind of bullshit, but I canít really blame her. She probably hates her job as much as I hate mine. I wish I had enough money to leave with her, but that just isnít going to happen. Hopefully we can have a nice time on the Big Island over Thanksgiving, but that could really hurt my already strained finances. If Iím going to do this South America thing, Iíll need more money.
My time in Hawaii is drawing to an end. Iíll be out of here sometime in January. I have a lot to do to prepare for my Journey to South America. There will probably be a lot of headaches through the planning stages. Hopefully, that will save some during the trip. I need to get my website up and running and I need to figure out what gear I will take. I need to get a visa for Brazil. Most importantly, I need to start saving a lot more money. The Big Island will be my last unnecessary expense allowed.
The palm frawns thrash violently as the wind bends the trees nearly to their breaking points. Clouds in the distance float with a listless, melancholy disposition. As we saw from our viewpoint below, they criss-crossed paths at different elevations. Even the extreme wind could not diminish the beauty island scenery. Turning from the window to see the office I had come to associate with inequities and false promises could and did do the trick, however. Luckily it was lunch time and that meant I only had to endure three more hours of bullshit after lunch. January canít come soon enough.
Theyíre moist and fluffy and filled with goo. That is what it said in the paper. I am not making this up. I canít believe they printed that. I canít even believe Francis said that. I wonder what his wife thought. She probably laughed and said, ďYouíre awful. I hate the word moist.Ē It was e-mailed to me and I thought it was fake until I went straight to the Newspaperís website to see the real article in full. The best part is that he was talking about why everyone loved his restaurantís
. Good thing they donít serve tacos.
I signed up for the marathon yesterday, but I have hardly trained at all for the last two weeks and probably wonít do much for the next two weeks. Iíve read that you are supposed to ramp down your mileage in the few weeks just prior to the race. I am not going to have run anywhere near twenty-six miles by the race day. I think I will be able to pull it off, though. Iíll just have to slow down. I might even have to do some walking, but I hope to avoid that. How boring are my entries?
A few too many last night. That is nothing new. Still drunk, but donít even realize it. I probably wonít realize it until a couple of days later when I try to remember what I did on Sunday. This has really got to stop. Halloween is open for business as usual. After that I will give myself one more chance to show some ability to know when to say when on the weekend. Then it is no more drinks at all until Thanksgiving. Either way I will save money and brain cells. I hope this works out. It has to.
ďYes! Yes! One thousand times, yes!Ē I exclaimed. ďThis is the greatest opportunity anyone has ever given me.Ē
Getting paid to travel the world and experience new things was a dream come true.
ďJust write about your experiences. It is as simple as that. Your itinerary is open for you to decide. We just planned around seasonal events and climate changes to make sure you are able to be in the general areas you need to be in from one month to the next. Her are you plane tickets and some cash to get started.Ē
ďOh fuck! whereís my passport?Ē
I am beginning to doubt myself for deciding to quit my job and travel around South America for six months. Besides the fact that I am not going to save as much as I had initially planned, costs are increasing, and it looks like the company I work for might actually be able to pull something off. They are at least getting close to getting some investment money, and I have heard them talking about stock options with consideration given to those who helped before the company was financially stable. It really bothers me that I am doubting this decision.
Trick or Treat. Itís me, Dirty Sanchez, and my date, the slutty witch. I love Halloween and I am very excited to see the funny costumes, the sexy costumes and the gory ones. Iím also looking forward to seeing the bible beaters roaming around with their extra large placards, while they shout at everyone for being whores and drunkards. Yes, Halloween in Waikiki should be a great time tonight. I am very happy to be in a warm place on the one night of the year where it is looked favorably upon for hot chicks to dress scantily and provocatively.
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