I am seriously not motivated to do much of anything useful
today. It is hot and I seem to be moving in slow motion. I had coffee which did
little to perk me up. I talked to my sister for a little while. These
conversations are increasingly rare because of scheduling conflicts even though
we do manage to text everyday. I wonder how we managed before texting came
along? There is so much to do in preparation for school ending (in a mere 9
days) and I really can not muster up the enthusiasm to get any of it done.
I, somehow, managed to lose every bit of music I had stored
on my computer when I went to sync it all to my ipod. I am not really sure what
I did (I am sure it was probably operator error) but now I am really irritated
because some of it was stuff that I will never be able to replace. My task is
to do some computer maintenance. It is running a bit slow and taking forever to
do anything. Plus, there is an entire school yearís worth of papers that
Nicholas has done which we donít need anymore.
I have often been amazed by what I call ďmarketing genius.Ē
There are lots of instances that qualify as such but none as apparent as the
commercials they show during childrenísí programming on television. Elizabeth wandered into
the living room, after a trip to the store with her daddy, excited because she
convinced him to buy her ďHannah Montana cereal.Ē (She likes trips with him
because he is more soft hearted and will say yes to the things which I
frequently say no.) Now, at breakfast, she informs me that the cereal is ďreally
nasty.Ē I am so not moved.
There was no need for me to be snippy but when has that ever
stopped me. I had enough of listening to someone in particular whine and
complain and I finally stopped answering her every phone call. This was
probably incredibly wrong of me but I am much less stressed as a result. There
are only a few days of school left. Both of the kids are looking forward to
summer break, albeit for different reasons. Beth is excited because she will be
in the second grade and second is so much better than first. Nick is just burnt
I have been investigating activities I can take the children
to do this summer and so far, with the exception of the library and museums, I
have come up blank. The problem is two fold: Limited funds and they are soÖ Iím
not quite sure how to describe them. One day they are over the moon about an
activity; the next, they could care less. There is an eight year age difference
so what makes one happy does not make the other happy. It is a balancing act. Iím
hoping to get it right before the end of the summer.
I spent a lazy morning watching the bunny rabbits munch
happily in what passes for the garden. It only passes because we really didnít
do a whole lot this year in the way of planting. A combination of apathy and a
scant amount of time prompted just a few things to be put in the ground. My
hummingbird vines have finally come back. I was starting to think they werenít
going to survive but they did. This makes me happy. The roses are in full
bloom. Iíve already cut off enough to decorate the tables. They are a peach
I love the smell of freshly cut grass. I have mentioned this
before somewhere. I donít love the sound of riding lawn mowers at 5:30 in the
morning. (Thank you, Leon from next door.) I swear the
man has a thing for cranking up his lawn mower and seeing how many people he
can disturb. I understand it because it gets so hot and this way he gets done
before it heats up but itís a bit ridiculous. I really hated it when Beth was a
baby and she would have just fallen asleep and then he would get started.
There is an awards assembly today at Bethís school. They are
going to have a cookout this afternoon at 1. She is so excited because there
are only a couple of days of school left. I am not so excited. Nick made Level
4s on all of his end of grade testing. He made a 98 on his algebra exam so he
will get high school credit for the course. He is getting high school credit
for his Spanish class too. He starts off his freshman year with 2 of the 28
credits he needs to graduate. I am impressed.
Today is the last day this school year Nick will go to
school. Tomorrow is the technical last day of school but ever since he started
middle school, we have let him skip the last day. It was actually the advice of
his sixth grade homeroom teacher that started this ritual. Apparently even the
teachers donít want to go on the last day. Beth, on the other hand, is
practically in tears about tomorrow being the last day. ďI will miss my friends.Ē
She keeps proclaiming this in a dramatic voice. How did she get to be such an
When the bus pulled up at 12:30, the doors opened and Beth
flew off it, her hair blowing in the breeze. She dropped her backpack on the
ground and turned around to wave at the bus driver and then she flew up the
steps announcing this to be ďthe best day ever.Ē I had to laugh at her because
just yesterday she was all melodrama and ďmy life is over.Ē She came home with
homework for the summer?!?!?! Iím not really surprised but what happened to
letting kids be kids for at least a minute. We will do it later.
It was nice to be able to ignore the alarm this morning. I
let the kids sleep figuring they would be up before too long. Imagine my
surprise when one appeared at 11:30 and the other, at 12:15. Beth, in
particular, was shocked to find half the day gone and was most upset about
having slept through breakfast. I can see now we are going to have some issues
this summer. Fortunately for me, I have plenty of ďquietĒ things I can do in
the mornings so I donít disturb them. I am ready for a very long, peaceful nap!
Fridays are no different from Mondays in my world. The
weekend holds no special significance other than more people are running in and
out. I have been bombarded with teenagers since Wednesday afternoon. I thought
Nick was anti-social. I was wrong. Dylan, Christine, Kimi, Kathleen, Josh,
Larry. I am starting to have trouble keeping them all straight. OhÖ how on
earth did I forget Samantha? Somebody pass the bottle of advil and the vodka.
The vodka is a joke. Sort of. I can see it is going to be a long summer. I may
need therapy before it is over.
Today is Sharonís
birthday. I didnít get the chance to call her until late in the afternoon. This
is the first year that I have not remembered to send her a birthday card. I
feel a little bad about that but it is what it is. I spent my morning working
in the yard and trying to do some tidying. The kids have been harping about
this and that. I think I can feel a headache forming at the base of my skull. A
dull ache that makes me want to scream. Iíll refrain to keep from scaring the
I did a lot of sleeping today. There is something about not
getting enough sleep at night that prompts me to usually sleep in on Sundays. I
woke up at some point and had some food and then went back to bed. It was a
quiet day with Nick at Dylanís and Beth quietly playing. Chris went to Rickyís
to watch the race. Thatís where he is now. I have finally roused myself out of
my stupor to do a few things. And where do I end up? In front of the computer.
Why am I not all that surprised?
They have been home for exactly five days and have already
bugged me about being bored. Iím tempted to tell them what my mama used to tell
us when we complained of boredom. ďThereís plenty of work to be done.Ē Iím
trying to give them a break because I know how much sucks to be stuck at home
all the time but Iím seriously one step away from telling them to get over
themselves. This is something I donít say often. I have a ton of things to
accomplish today. I should get started before I completely lose my motivation.
ďCan you drive us to [fill in the blank?]Ē My life seems to
have been reduced to being chief cook and chauffeur. (Have you ever noticed there
are some words you think you have misspelled only to discover they were right
all along? Chauffeur is one of those words for me.) I have practically quit
blogging. My twitter account is mostly dormant. My time online consists of a
quick check of my email and occasionally, reading a few of the many blogs I
have saved as favorites. I have managed to wade through the entire stack of
previously unread magazines.
Nickís report card came in the mail today. He did
exceptionally well. For the school year, he had 4 Aís and 3 Bís. He made a 98
on his algebra exam. Heís going to high school. I can still remember sending
him to kindergarten. (And him getting suspended in the first week forÖ pulling
the fire alarm.) Wow, weíve come a long ways. There was a news article about
the principal of Bethís school who will not be principal this coming school
year. I was shocked as the reason why and have yet to figure out how to tell
I am already sick of the library. I watched a movie today,
something I donít normally do. It was ďAway From HerĒ, about the man with the
wife who had Alzheimerís. It was actually a pretty good story once you figured
out they continued to flashback to earlier in their lives. For a few minutes, I
was all confused. The kids are currently in my room watching ďThe Simpsons.Ē I
canít stand that movie but in order to have peace in my house, I said okay. The
things I do for a just a little bit of quiet and orderliness.
Apparently, my oldest child has lost his ever loving mind.
He really thinks I will allow him to have a co-ed sleepover. Did I just crawl
out from under a rock? Does he think so? The answers are no and yes,
respectively. I must have gave him the look that asked ďfrom what planet did
you just land?Ē because he got all irritated and huffed off. I do not think, at
the wonderful age of 14, co-ed sleepovers are that smart of an idea. But what
do I know? Iím just mom. I donít get paid to do any thinking.
I cried buckets of tears this morning. It seems as if things
just go wrong and then more things go wrong and then it all snowballs and the
next thing you know, you are sitting on the back porch crying your eyes out and
wishing for some peace. Or is that just me? By early this afternoon, I decided
my best course of action was to go to sleep. Perhaps things would look better
when I woke up. Iím here to tell you that nothing looked better despite
sleeping for over three hours. Maybe I should just get over myself.
We spent Fatherís Day at Dadís where all the siblings had
gathered to eat hamburgers and hot dogs and make snippy comments about one
another when someone was out of earshot. The food was excellent, as it always
is. Dawn makes this potato salad that I have tried to duplicate and have failed
miserably at doing. I enjoyed seeing everyone but let me be the first to tell
you, I was happy when we left to go home. We were there for over six hours and
I was getting exhausted. I left a voicemail for my own father. Kinda sad.
I am super stressed about a wide variety of things, mostly
to do with finances. For some reason, June is always the month that completely
sucks for us and I have yet to figure out why. I think it has something to do
with school getting out and they are home all the time and so everything (like
power and the phone and the grocery bill) seems to multiply. I havenít decided
if I am going to do blogathon this year. They didnít hold it at all last year.
I hope they arenít on hiatus again. I missed doing it.
It is hot. The pool seemed inviting until I actually got out
there and started to bake. This is the kind of weather you just want to find a
nice air conditioned place to be in. I am not fond of indoors all that much but
today, I didnít even want to venture out for the mail. Neither did Beth which
should be an indication that itís really steamy outside. Checking the mail is
one of her favorite activities. I think tonight for supper we shall do
something really simple. Salad and sandwiches. Ice cream for dessert. Really
Youth group tonight for the kids. I am spending the evening
alone because Chris has to go to a family/friends night for his friend Shawnís
dad. He passed away on Fatherís Day. I am probably going to do something likeÖ
clean the bathroom. (Because, I really know how to enjoy my free evenings.) I
think when you donít spend a lot of time by yourself, you forget what you like
to do. Maybe Iíll watch a movie. Somehow I doubt it. Right now, Iím going to go
find a quiet corner and finish my book. 53 pages to the end.
I spent my day stressing over stupid stuff. When Chris got
home, I finally broke down and told him most of what was stressing me and in
less than ten minutes, he had taken over, laid down a few laws and really eased
my mind. Itís funny how they snap to attention when he speaks whereas I can
speak and itís like ďdid you hear something?Ē Maybe heís just scarier looking
than me? We had a quiet dinner, just he and IÖ (or is it him and me.) An
English major Iím not. I think this may be really obvious.
Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson on the same day. I have
been watching the news; the Michael Jackson story seems to be dominating the
news shows. Fox actually had a program that aired for 3 plus hours without a
commercial break when they announced he had died. And what is with the people
milling about outside of UCLA hospital? I am confused. I am also strange in
that I didnít realize he had 3 children. I was surprised. I thought it was just
the two. Farrah seems to have become just a brief mention. May they both rest
Today is my Katyís birthday. Katy is my niece and sheís 8
today. I didnít get a chance to talk to her because sheís with her father this
weekend (actually for the past ten days while he has his vacation) and even my
sister didnít get to speak to her own daughter. She was super pissed off about
this. But what can you do? (Hire an attorney, get this mess straightened out
once and for all and move on.) My day has been pretty good though. I got things
accomplished and I am feeling a little bit better about life.
Music is being added to the computer via my extensive cd
collection. Beth is watching tv. Nick is playing his video game. They have done
their chores this morning after much prompting. At least they did them. I am
grateful for small things. It is super hot already and itís only just after 12.
My kitchen is sparkling clean and there is laundry flapping in the breeze on
the clothesline outside. I have steaks out to grill this afternoon with fresh
corn on the cob. †I am determined this
will be a good day. It is time for some lunch.
At the rate I am going, I will stop sleeping altogether
soon. My hour for going to bed is getting pushed back later and later while my
hour for getting up is starting to come way too earlier. I am walking around in
a state of exhaustion; a fog that wonít seem to lift. Being out of actual
caffeinated coffee does not help the situation at all. I have discovered that
my brain is not fooled by the pouring of hot, coffee like beverage when said
beverage is decaf. I do believe a trip to the store is in order.
I thought I wanted company today when my sister texted to
ask if she and the girls could come over for awhile. So I texted back and said ďsure,
come on over.Ē I soon realized that company was the last thing I really wanted;
particularly since all she talked about was the same man she has been harping
about for the past four years. I keep wanting to shake her and tell her to get
a grip, that heís not interested if he hasnít made a move in four years but
instead, I just smile and grit my teeth together.