10/01 Direct Link
Ooh, man is this grant running late. I have a meeting to get to in a few minutes, so I'm going to type up these 100 words and eat my lunch real fast. I haven't taken notes on a conference call in a long time, so this is going to be a treat. Or it could be awful. You never know. I'm not going to turn my out of office message on, but I will close my email inbox. Let's see how many messages I get in the span of an hour. I think it's only an hour. Maybe an hour and a half.
10/02 Direct Link
So we are under contract. I'm happy. The house seems solid, but who knows what horrors the inspection may reveal. I'm going to be there and literally take notes so I know what I'm doing when I start maintaining the house (or whatever house I may buy). The timing is pretty good, so I'm hoping that if the deal falls apart, the apartment will let us stick around. I keep thinking there will be something terrible, but that is just me being a pessimist. 

There were fall cookies in the break room. One of my coworkers needs to be on a baking show.
10/03 Direct Link
I read this funny quote about friendship on Twitter that turned out to be true for me, which means it is most likely true for everyone else. In about fifteen minutes, I have to lead a meeting, and I hate meetings. They suck. Unless everyone is there in person. Then it's good. Getting a whole ton of documents together for the loan. I'm going to make another list. It is just like a grant submission. I am glad I have some kind of experience in this real-life stuff. As long as I don't get the two things mixed up, it will be good.
10/04 Direct Link
I love the people who complain about the food in the cafeteria. /sarcasm. First off, not everyone has a cafeteria right in their workplace and second off, the food is amazing. I have never had anything bad there. They have a good sanitation grade too, which is nice. I just happened to notice it today.

Trying to get stuff together to buy a house. The wheels are now in motion. But I just hope I can get everything done on time. It all depends on other people. Man. But I think I can do it, I think I can, I think I can.
10/05 Direct Link
People and their crazy social lives. I don't know why they make them so complicated. Back in the days, 30 was considered old age because you could die from the plague at any moment. I am nervous about this house-buying process. It is too much for me in my young? old? age. We are old to be buying houses, but in this age, we are lucky because millennials are never supposed to be on top of anything. The world's worst generation, by all accounts, but they say that about every generation. I would love to know who "they" are.
10/06 Direct Link
The world's overlords. The devil is prince of the world. He owns the world and all that is in it, but God owns heaven and heaven has already won. I'm not sure if that is Catholic teaching, but that is what I have been hearing. Even bishops, popes, and cardinals are not sure what Catholic teaching is these days. But I smell a revolution coming soon. I don't know when but it is on the horizon. As long as we have enough brave souls to pray and practice, there will be enough. I am so glad to have Jesus. To receive him.
10/07 Direct Link
At the same time, it always feels fake when I write that. I've never been one of those Jesus freaks. A Bible-thumping extrovert with the motivation to get everyone to go to my youth ministry and donate to the cause, whatever that is. I guess I am more of a contemplative style, or that's what I would be suited for. I'd make the world's worst Jehovah Witness or the world's worst Mormon. Those are two branches I am not cut out for at all. Too much door-to-door. I was even a terrible girl scout, but don't get me started on that.
10/08 Direct Link
I love when I get good story ideas, or pieces of story ideas. Just came up with the ending for my NaNoWriMo story and it will mirror the beginning. Give some unheard people some justice and all that. See, I can be kind to some degree. I'm not that terrible of a person. For the record, I don't think anyone actually thinks that. Just being dramatic.

I had a Dunkin Donuts French vanilla flavored coffee yesterday. It was OK. I think I'd rather have it in the store than in a K-cup. Not to mention that they are wasteful.
10/09 Direct Link
The home inspection went OK, I guess, for a house built in 1970-something. I got disappointed, but I'm tempted to just walk away and continue to live in the apartment where I don't have to worry about maintenance at all and I can keep a small amount of stuff. I know that the instant I move into a house, people are going to give me all this crap I don't freaking want or need. I hate this materialistic culture that pushes on you that you have to have certain things. 

In other news, I can't believe places like Gamestop still exist.
10/10 Direct Link
Back to what I was saying about Gamestop. I think you can get all games online now, on places like Steam. I don't play video games anymore, so I have no idea. I always used to like having the physical copy of the game in my hand so I could read the blurbs and look at the pictures on the box. I'm old school. I would get a Nintendo Switch, but I never have time to play video games, and when free time opens up, I would rather just sit and read a book. Man, I've gotten crotchety in my old age.
10/11 Direct Link
Still thinking about the house. I like it a lot more than everything else that's come on the market recently. It's all these tiny 1,000 sqft houses that would be great for a young couple or a single person. Once you have a kid, that size house gets small fast. A lot of the time, they don't have a lot of storage or aren't built well. But I wouldn't know that. You would need a master builder to look at them. Speaking of which, I'm supposed to get the inspection report back today. A master builder who became an inspector worked on it. 
10/12 Direct Link
10/17: For some reason, I completely forgot about 100 words the past few days. I guess it is all the stuff with the house. I had a dream about it the night right after I put the offer on it. Subconscious, why didn't you make me have this dream earlier? But in the dream, the walls slowly started to bloat with water, but it was after we bought the house and were moving in. I was terrified. Lo and behold, the inspection did reveal water damage. I got a few second opinions. It doesn't seem like it would be worthwhile.
10/13 Direct Link
10/17: For some reason, they are playing that Sir Mix-A-Lot song on the radio. I guess it's the only one he is famous for. The one about butts. I remember that it was in the soundtrack of the Shrek movie (the first one, I think) and it was about the donkey falling in love with the dragon, which to me was stupid, but I was only 12 or so when the movie came out. The movie had good moments, but it was ultimately stupid. I think most kids' movies are like that. Good luck getting something serious.
10/14 Direct Link
10/17: What to do about the housing situation? Stay in the apartment another year and save as much money as possible, which is difficult due to the rising rent. But it won't be as bad as getting a house that needs a lot of fixing up before I really have the wherewithal to do it. I feel bad about it, but what can you do? People have raised kids in even smaller places before. I'm dejected, but ultimately it's whatever, what can you do? 

My nails are getting too long and preventing me from typing, which is no bueno.
10/15 Direct Link
10/17: There is a song on the radio these days. I think it's called "I Got One Thing Right" and it sounds like it doesn't know whether it wants to be pop, rock, or country, but all that confusion works in its favor. 

Time management is not my strong suit, and it's gotten more important now that I have a kid. If I don't manage my time, I literally get nothing done and everything falls apart. My husband has even worse time management issues than me, if you can believe it. I need external deadlines for every little thing.
10/16 Direct Link
10/17: I still want to get back to helping out and doing community service like I used to before the baby was born and before I got too tired to deal with it. I can't imagine how I'm ever going to have a second (technically third) child, and I wonder if I even should. Not now, probably. The apartment isn't "big enough," but that is a lot of American "gotta be big" bullshit. We are so spoiled in America that it's not even funny. We sit out there on the day that grocery stores open, fighting over parking spaces.
10/17 Direct Link
I don't know if I talked about it here, but Wegmans recently opened in my area. Holy crap, were the Yankees rejoicing. I'm technically a Yankee, but I don't remember Wegmans at all, or even if my family went there when we lived up North. There were fights over parking spaces and overcrowded conditions in the store. It is supposedly like Whole Foods crossed with Publix. I don't care for either of them. Too expensive unless you need a specialty item. I will stick with good ol' Food Lion and Walmart, thank you very much. Y'all can take your whole paycheck.
10/18 Direct Link
This weekend... I am cleaning out the closet. Now that the weather has officially turned to fall temperatures, it is time to switch out my clothes. So I shall do that. I usually end up wearing hoodies all the time, but I guess times have changed. I need to wear better things and get a new pair of shoes. My feet will thank me later. There is a trip to Goodwill in my future. Also I need to cut my nails. They are preventing me from typing fast. 

Christianity is still in decline,and I believe it. People don't go to church.
10/19 Direct Link
10/21: I have that dang "Me" song stuck in my head. The one by Taylor Swift. I didn't even listen to it and have no idea why it's even there. I dreamed about writing last night while getting some broken sleep. The baby kept coughing. I think he has a cold, so I was up every time he cried because he couldn't get comfortable. Poor child. I just hope he doesn't have the flu. But I am going to have my husband take him to the pediatrician. If it's a cold, there's not much they can do. Same for the flu.
10/20 Direct Link
10/21: Apparently there is a still a lot of discrimination against working mothers or pregnant women in the workplace. I am fortunate to work in a company that celebrated the fact that I was pregnant and treated me like a human being the entire time. It is hard to believe that this kind of discrimination still goes on in our enlightened day and age. I heard that some employers made women disclose whether they were on birth control or the date of their last period. How bizarre is that? I would almost call it sexual harassment. None of their business. 
10/21 Direct Link
I have never handled anything by the printer before. Our off-campus printer, I mean. Also, I have never faxed anything, and I find it hard to believe that fax is still a thing. Is there a real estate agency that actually keeps you informed every step of the process? Or a loan agency that does the same? I'm getting agitated. Going to have to make some angry-ass phone calls. Or some cold-ass phone calls and scare the living crap out of some people. Supposedly I can do that, but I don't really see how. I'm not that scary.
10/22 Direct Link
Out of the contract, finally. I don't really care what anyone says. If you can't say it to my face, then don't say it. I get tired of all the passive-aggressiveness and lack of honesty. I mean, be honest. You're trying to sell something, so you're going to be dishonest to sell it. That is why I don't like selling things. I would rather give them to Goodwill. In my mind, selling = dishonesty because you are trying to foist off something that nobody really needs. Like I don't see how these people on Shark Tank can live with themselves.
10/23 Direct Link
Husband and son are both snoring along. Husband because he has always snored and son because he has a cold. I'm trying to get ready for work. I'm sitting in this huge-ass office chair because my husband switched chairs with me. I don't like this chair. It's so big and heavy I can hardly move it, and no matter how much I adjust it, it's not comfortable. It wasn't made for a small person. It was made for a high-powered executive who is larger than life, both in body and in spirit and in mind. How the chair ended up at Goodwill is beyond me.
10/24 Direct Link
Sometimes I feel fantastically stupid, but stupid is not the worst thing you can ever be in this world. Heartless is worse. Evil is worse. Remorseless is worse than all of them. I wish I could do something with my life, but I am doing something with my life. I could fill every spare minute with something to do, but in the end, I would be empty. Quality time versus quantity time, or something like that. I need a day where it's just me and the apartment, so I can clean everything in there. Put my son and husband somewhere else.
10/25 Direct Link
Somehow a Cheerio wound up in the corner of my cube. 

I don't understand gender inequality and all that business. By nature, the sexes are inherently not equal, not the same. I understand having equal rights, but to implement that in certain countries, you would have to get involved in their culture, which has rigid gender roles. It is highly unlikely that it will change. Also, what is with America wanting to make all the other countries into mini-Americas? I don't understand it. 

I guess I'll just stay in my bigoted little bubble and not come out.
10/26 Direct Link
10/26: I tried to change my phone plan to something cheaper, but my old phone isn't compatible and I would have to buy a new one. The only thought I had was that it was a bunch of BS. I don't want to buy a new phone, and if I did, I would want to downgrade rather than upgrade. Eventually I want to go off the grid and not have a phone forever. I don't like seeing parents who give their kids their phone to play with when they're in a store or restaurant to get the kid to shut up.
10/27 Direct Link
10/28: The word "Adidas" is actually an acronym for "all day I dream about sports," but for the longest time, I thought about the Korn song and it was "all day I dream about sex," but it doesn't matter because I'm not much into either these days, lol. Sports were always quite boring to me. 

In other news, I finished the latest Stephen King book and found it really good, even though he managed to get in four insults of Donald Trump. OK, Steve, I get it. You hate the president. That's OK. It is a free country. 
10/28 Direct Link
I was reading Amazon reviews of Stephen King's book and a lot of people didn't like the mentions of politics. I agree. If it's not directly relevant to the story, cut it out. Like Trump, King needs to stay off Twitter and chill out. Maybe play with his grandkids outside or something. Get his eyes away from a screen. I find that I need to do that more and more. It was nice to spend a weekend crawling on the floor with my son and cleaning the house and spending time with friends at bible study and McDonald's. Typical weekend! 
10/29 Direct Link
I like that Tom Petty song about how he won't back down. I am proud of myself for getting up the energy to clean the bathroom yesterday. It's not hard. It's just going through the tasks on my list. Just like at work. A nice checklist. Wouldn't it be nice if we could boil life down into a series of checkboxes and go through it that way? Maybe not the most realistic thing in the world, but it would probably help somewhat. 

Maybe my husband can sell something on the classifieds and make a bit of pocket money.
10/30 Direct Link
10/31: I dreamed I was helping someone give birth because the midwife had left the room. The person was an old friend of mine, which is strange because I don't think of that person all that often.

That dream led me to think that I don't hate females as much as I think I do. When I think of all my female friends, the response is overly positive. There were maybe three or four negative ones out of a million nice ones, but it's the negative stuff I remember. The backstabbing, the lies. And I falsely apply that to all of them. 
10/31 Direct Link
My coworkers are nerds. I wish I could be a nerd too, but I don't think I'm quite that smart. 

This building always smells like fish early in the morning. They need to air it out or put on the HVAC or something.

I'm happily cleaning the apartment. All's well that ends well, but I do now owe some money to the lawyer and all that crap. But whatever. At least know I know how the process works for next time, so I have something to go on.

I wish I could be a bit more talkative, but there's nothing to say.