REPORT A PROBLEM
What I don't get is why this batch says it's December 2012 and it's only 2011. Strange. I'm writing in the future!
I overslept by an hour today because the power went off sometime during the night and killed my alarm, which irritated the crap out of me. There is a reason I like to get up early every day, and it's so I can get stuff done before my brain breaks at around midday. But luckily, I don't have to work or be anywhere today, so that's good. And I suppose I needed that extra hour of sleep.
After being MIA for almost the entire month of December, 100Words is back. I never thought I'd see it again before the new year and now I have three weeks of batches to catch up with. Maybe I'll come back to it after work, maybe not. Who knows? Or I could go to Plinky and get some prompts so it won't look like I'm just rambling. Or I could write about love, which always takes up a lot of space. That seems like it might be a good idea. Love and relationship rants. About how I am forever alone.
Relationship Rant #1
I may have talked about this before, a long time ago, but it bugs me how there are people whose lives revolve around their significant other. Yes, I understand that it's important to have someone you can be proud of and brag about, but not when you're constantly talking about "ooh, he did this and last week he did that and he bought me this for no reason" - that's plain annoying. When I dated my ex, I never talked about my relationship. It didn't need to be shared. It was a private beacon of light within my soul.
Relationship Rant #2
Girls who pretend to be lesbians or bisexual just to get attention from guys. I'm not making fun of real lesbians and real bisexuals. It's those who pretend to be another orientation to get attention. That's a pain in the neck because they're being a tease. All you're revealing is that you're a confused person who hasn't figured herself out yet. It's not attractive. It's not pretty. It's skanky. I've never met any guys who have pretended to be gay or bisexual, so I guess it's just a girl thing. No matter what, it's annoying. Just stop it.
Relationship Rant #3
People who go directly into rebound relationships after they break up with someone or are broken up with. Rebound relationships aren't fair to either party. If your heart is broken, you need some recovery time. You can't expect another person to heal you, even if that person wants to. And that other person can't expect to be fully loved by you, at least at that moment. So chill out and relax. You can stand to be single for a while. It won't kill you, I swear. Think about what you really want in a partner first. No rebounds.
I forgot what number I was on in terms of the relationship rants. But I guess that doesn't matter. Another thing that annoys me about relationships... actually, scratch that. Here's another thing that annoys me about people in general: poseurs. Those who pretend to be something they're not. There are tons of them in high school, but that's OK. High school is all about finding your identity and experimenting with different things. But when you're in your twenties, you should no longer be posing as different things. You shouldn't be acting like a high schooler. You should be growing up.
I feel like all I ever write about on here are things that annoy me. But it's always fun to gripe and rant, and you never know who might be reading it that agrees with you. There are certain things in life that irritate everyone - like walking into a public restroom, doing your business, then finding out there isn't any toilet paper. It's the little things. But the most you can do is get over the lack of toilet paper, then move on. A wise person once said, "Life is full of little disappointments." That is the epic, unvarnished truth.
This is the warmest fall season we've had in a long time. And the weather keeps fluctuating, aggravating people's sinuses and asthma. It was 70 degrees one day, then 30 the next. Frost on the ground one day. Hot, muggy, and humid the next. Make up your mind, Mother Nature! I don't see how you can behave like this. Get a grip on yourself. It's winter - as a matter of fact, the 22nd (when I'm writing this) is the first day of winter. We'd like to see some snow for once! A white Christmas would be nice, but highly unlikely.
I am obsessed with Salvador Dali's artwork. I love the symbolism in it and the various ways it can be interpreted. Any piece of art can be interpreted in numerous ways, whether that art is a painting or a novel or a sculpture. That's why I like the humanities and the arts more than I like math or science. Arts and humanities aren't so cut and dried or black and white. They are open. I think I read somewhere that the person who looks at the art or the person who interprets it is putting him or herself into it.
Debating on websites like YouTube and Tumblr also gets on my nerves. If you can't make an intelligent argument without ad hominem attacks, then don't argue. You're only going to open yourself to ridicule and make others think you're some kind of moron. Seriously. Don't bother arguing. You're not going to get anyone to change his or her mind. It's a waste of time, effort, and energy, so why bother? If you want to argue, join a debate team or take some time and research your cause.
This is why I never argue on the Internet. Not worth it.
Popular music is nice, but hearing the same song over and over again can drive anyone mad. I keep hearing the "Moves Like Jagger" song over and over and, yes, it was a fun, catchy song the first three times. But all the other times I heard it, it just got continually more and more annoying. There's nothing to be done about it. It's just a pain in the neck. I don't have the moves like Jagger. I don't know anyone who does, except Mick Jagger himself and maybe Adam Levine. But I don't particularly care for him, so whatever.
Still going on with my 100Words. The last entry I made was about debating and about how ad hominem attacks are fallacious. There are sometimes when I want to air my frustrations with the world. When I want to rant and rave and curse and scream on the Internet and hope someone finds it and leaves a comment saying, "Me, too! I've just gone through the same situation!" I want to yell at one particular person, but I could never do it to their face. I'd settle for doing the cowardly thing and yelling at them over the Internet.
Way back in middle school, I was voted "most likely to succeed," which I find rather interesting. I graduated at the top of my college class and couldn't find a full-time job. So now I'm doing freelance work (assignments are few and far between) and working part-time at a minimum wage job. So much for "most likely to succeed," eh? But I am still trying to succeed. I don't want to prove those middle school versions of my peers wrong. I have a few obstacles to overcome before my life can align in a way that makes sense.
I was guilty of making passive-aggressive rants on Facebook. Unfortunately, the person I was alluding to never understood that my rants were about him/her. It took me so long to find out that that person just didn't care. Yet I couldn't stop caring about what that person thought, and it killed me. I wanted them to get angry with me. I wanted that person to react in whatever way they chose. Instead, I felt like a little kid beating his fists against a pillow that could never feel the pain of childish frustration. I still feel that way.
I'm reading a book about politics, but I won't say which side I'm on. I'm scared that someone will hop out of the blue of the Internet and begin attacking me. I have political convictions, but I hate arguing about them. As I stated in a previous entry, arguing is useless on the Internet, unless you want to get angry and raise your blood pressure. Then arguing is just fine and might even be a cure for some obscure disease you end up with. But in reality, I'd love to air my political rants and views here. But no arguing.
It's a sin, but I use the word "but" at the beginnings of sentences a lot. It's not technically wrong, but it still gets on my nerves that I find myself using it so much. I use "very" and "really" and "actually" a lot, too. I use a lot of "hedge" words in order to take up space - and a lot of other words that are classified as "women's language." Well, at least I'm a woman and I have a reason to use those words. Maybe not a valid reason, but a reason nonetheless.
Words, words, so many words.
I would also like to rant about work here, too. But they tell you to never rant about work - and if you do, do it anonymously. I have nothing against the place where I work, or my bosses or my coworkers. Some customers get on my nerves, but the vast majority of them are nice people that I would probably hang out with if given the option. I suppose my rants would have more to do with the schedule than anything else. Friday nights and Saturday nights are no fun, but I end up working those quite a lot.
December 18, 1965 was the day my parents started dating. They married in 1971 and have been together ever since. I can only hope that I meet someone special one day and that we can have a great relationship and work on problems together and guide each other through life.
At the same time, I shy away from relationships. I hate breaking hearts. I hate being the one heartbroken. I don't like feeling so vulnerable because of another person. I hate the inevitable jealousy that arises when I get insecure... and I do get insecure. Still working on it.
It's nice to save the receipt and be so organized that you have a file of receipts, but it's also a pain. They crumple easily, the printing on them fades, and they take up space. Before you know it, you have a million receipts and you're afraid to throw any of them away. I have two receipts on my desk right now and they're driving me nuts. Should I keep them? Throw them away? Put them in a folder to let them molder for a number of years, then forget they exist? Whatever. I'm crumpling them into balls... right now...
This coming year, I'm going to have three writing projects going on at any given time. I have yet to determine whether or not my goals are overkill or whether they will stress me out to the point of going insane. I've been wanting to immerse myself in writing (not just revisions) for some time now and I can't wait to start again when the calendar turns to January 1. I wonder how many words I can write in a day. I know it is over 8,000 if I really put my mind to it and do my best.
I remember a December 21 that was my first date with a guy. We went to see the third Lord of the Rings movie, which was fun. I miss that guy, but the breakup was bad and he still hates my guts, even though we dated over seven years ago. I wish I could sit down and talk to him and explain things. At the time, I believed I loved him, but now I see that the love was illegitimate - something filled with teenage hormones and bluster. Teen love can never be real. I do not believe in it anymore.
At last! I'm caught up, and there's still so much I want to rant about. There are not enough hours in the day for all the things I'd like to accomplish. I wish I had Hermione's Time-Turner from Harry Potter, so I could do hours over again and gain some kind of semblance of control over what I do. But I might meet up with my past or future self and destroy something in the present. That sounds like an episode of Family Guy. I love that show to death, by the way. I recommend that you watch it.
It's another cloudy, humid day. It's Friday, too, which means work may be busy. But I'm thinking that it won't be as bad since everyone will be out at the stores doing some last-minute Christmas shopping. I don't get why people procrastinate until the last second, unless there's something they've forgotten to get. Human behavior is inscrutable to me. I don't think I will ever understand it. But no matter. It's for God to understand.
Listening to Jethro Tull right now. It's interesting. And it's a holiday song, which makes it even more interesting. *throws up metal horns*
One of my new year resolutions is purity. I hate having such a dirty mind, even though it makes me popular with guys since I can joke around with them and laugh at their perverted stories without being really grossed out. But at the same time, I wish I was as pure in heart and soul as I was when I was 11. I hope that I can make it a habit to pray more and even meditate on some of these things - that may make the purity challenge a bit easier in the long run.
Merry Christmas Eve!
Merry Christmas! Above all, I'm glad I don't have to work today, so that makes me happy. I'm glad I can have a day to spend with my family and just relax. And eat good food. I feel like I don't eat enough these days, probably because I feel as though I work every night until close and I don't get a break unless it's slow - and during the holidays, it's not that slow.
I have many hopes and dreams for the new year. I'm hoping that they can all become accomplished, although that may be a challenge.
Today is the feast of St. Stephen, the first Christian martyr. He was stoned to death for what he believed in. I enjoy reading the stories of saints and martyrs because they're good models for us. I don't care what you believe in, but if you choose to believe in something so strongly, you had better stand up for it and defend it. That's exactly what Stephen did. Even at the threat of death, he was just that brave.
In other news, I have a Christmas song stuck in my head even though it is the day after Christmas.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be a dog or a cat. Or even a bird. Actually, being a bird would be really cool because then you could fly and perch on high places and have a great range of vision. I wonder how dogs and cats and other animals think. Do they get jealous? Do they fall in love - do they know the feeling of love for their owners? What do they think when humans dress them up in little sweaters and take them out in the car? Are they capable of being embarrassed? It's interesting...
I was writing a nice long rant about being uninsured, but I pressed a button and the entire thing erased and I couldn't get back to it. Now I have something new to rant about, I suppose.
But to be honest, I'm not in much of a ranting mood. I feel calmer than I've felt in the past month. I think it's because Christmas is over and everything is slowly calming down. The last holiday I have left to deal with at work is New Year's Eve, which is rumored to be incredibly busy. I don't care. I'll get through.
I had a really awesome idea for something to write about in my 100Words today, but I thought of it just before I drifted off to sleep, which means it was probably nothing more than jumbled nonsense from my subconscious mind that I thought was cool at the moment.
That was a very long sentence. But even so, I wish I could remember that cool thing I had wanted to write about... if I had the energy to write down things I thought of before I fell asleep, I'd have so many excellent ideas and good thoughts now.
I would like to put my thoughts about same-sex marriage down on here, but I feel like I'd probably offend someone, so I won't say a thing at all. As a matter of fact, I'd like to put my thoughts on a lot of controversial issues in these 100Words, but I always have the fear that someone will come find these words and start harassing me via email, asking why I haven't backed up my opinion with research and facts. Because my opinion originated in my heart and in my soul. I believe in what I feel is right.
I would say that this year has gone well. I hope I've changed as a person (for the better) and I can only to hope to continue growing and changing (for the better) in the coming year. I've done things I never thought I'd have the strength to do this year. My self-esteem has improved quite a bit. This has also been the second full year since 2001 that I've spent single. I still like being single more than I like being in a relationship and most people think I'm odd because of that. Whatever. Being odd is fun.
The Tip Jar