05/01 Direct Link
Pope John Paul II was beatified today, but he isn't an official saint yet. He is now Blessed Ioannus Paulus II (if that's the correct Latin, and I'm pretty sure it's not).

Now the Church will search for another miracle - and I'm sure it will find one. Then he will be called Saint.

"The Catholic Church is only interested in its own survival and not in the spiritual growth of its faithful." I heard that statement somewhere today and I don't think that's true at all. If it was true, we would have left the Catholic Church in droves already.
05/02 Direct Link
Sometimes a person you usually never think of or dream about arrives in your dreams. That happened a few nights ago. I don't know why I keep dreaming about this particular person, especially when I haven't seen him/her in such a long time. Maybe there's something about that person that my subconscious mind sees as valuable in some way. My subconscious mind probably has some kind of hidden question for that person - something is unanswered and my brain is scrambling for any answers.

Dreams are incredibly fascinating, but they do not make good fiction, unless you're an exceptionally good author.
05/03 Direct Link
My 100 words for today... what to write? I could write about the dream I had last night. A very old friend of mine validated what I had been feeling and it felt so legitimate and so real. I often wonder if we can be psychically connected to certain people in our lives. I believe in that, to a certain extent.

True psychic connections are very rare, as are all supernatural phenomena. That's something I like to write about very much: aspects of the supernatural and how they can manifest through human qualities like greed, envy, pride, and many others.
05/04 Direct Link
May the fourth be with you! It's Star Wars Day, but unfortunately, I don't own the movies so I won't be watching them. Although it would be worth it to see Hayden Christensen again...

I feel like I should take up another hobby. Maybe gardening. I've always liked gardening... or sewing or knitting or crocheting. Something like that. I had a dream last night I owned some fish. But as with all dreams that involve living creatures, I'm struggling hopelessly to make sure the living creatures survive and most of the time, they don't.

I'm not sure why that is...
05/05 Direct Link
Sometimes you want to change a person, but that person will not or cannot be changed. Instead of changing them, accept them for who they are. If you cannot accept them, then perhaps it's better if you went your separate ways. 

We need people in our lives who want to help us grow. That doesn't necessarily mean people who will change for us, but people who will help us become the best versions of ourselves. In return, we need to help them become the best versions of themselves. 

If someone's bringing you down, don't let them. Do better.
05/06 Direct Link
I have been heavily focused on my career lately. Ever since I graduated college a year ago, I have not stopped thinking about my career and where it may lead. It excites me. The future excites me too. Technology gives us room for so many new possibilities. Soon, we will be in a science-fiction world. But I still haven't gotten my hover car yet! 

(Heck, I don't even have a cell phone. But I refuse to believe that I need a cell phone to be mature and professional.)

Even though my career's important, I'll still have fun. 
05/07 Direct Link
I don't use eye shadow. I've never owned one of those pretty little seashell cases. When you open them, there's a panorama of different colors, but they don't strike my imagination. I admire people who become makeup artists and hairstylists, mostly because of their creativity. Kind of off topic, but I was watching Lady Gaga's "Judas" video and I liked the makeup and the fashion design. I couldn't imagine spending that much time on either of those - well, maybe for a music video, but not for a night out or a day at work or school. It's just too much.
05/08 Direct Link
Lady Gaga's "Judas" is the worst earworm I've heard since Rebecca Black's "Friday." I'm a Christian and I don't see "Judas" as blasphemy. The song is just a metaphor for a girl who continually chooses the "bad boy," even though the "good boy" is right there in front of her. She loves the bad boy because he brings excitement and danger to her life. Life with the good boy would be stale and boring in comparison. The video is full of Catholic imagery, but I don't consider it blasphemous. 

If your faith is strong, a song won't bother you. 
05/09 Direct Link
They say that when you meet the right person for you, you're supposed to feel a spark or something. I only felt that spark with one person - and I am not with that person now. 

But who knows? If it is meant to be, then it will be, right?

There are only a few people who truly know who I am and that's how I prefer it. I don't want everyone knowing my business. I don't want to know everyone else's business.

Well, I admit that it is nice to know their business, like in a soap opera. 

05/10 Direct Link
I have a ton of reading to do. For some reason, I'm currently reading a romance novel (Sweet Liar - Jude Deveraux) and it's all right. I'm a hopeless romantic at heart, and though I claim I never want another relationship, I still have the faint hope that romance will come around again.

Several magazines came in the mail, too. I don't know why, but I get a subscription to Us, the celebrity gossip magazine. I'm pretty sure it's a free subscription because they haven't sent me any bills. I don't actually read Us - the pictures are quite nice, though. 
05/11 Direct Link
I was working on a story I started because of an OC meme I found somewhere on the Internet. I put the first six chapters up on FictionPress, then took them down yesterday.

It doesn't mean I've stopped writing it. I just don't want the public to see it yet. You see, I'm excellent at scribbling down rough drafts and finishing them, but I'm a little lax at revision.

Maybe once this story is done I'll do an in-depth revision and look into self-publishing. But first, I need to get some good critiques. 

No, not maybe. Definitely.
05/12 Direct Link
I had another dream about being married last night. I was at my church and the fiance had brown hair (real specific, I know). There were several other girls/young women getting married at the same time and that was what irritated me. They all knew what to do at a wedding and I had no idea. They made me wear this frilly white hat and stand around and take pictures. I just wanted to get the stupid thing over with.

Well, at least the wedding was at my church and not at some weird venue I didn't know. 
05/13 Direct Link
I feel like I've ranted and raved about everything I could possibly rant and rave about. People who actually read this must be bored. 

So I won't rant and rave. I won't talk about love because love is foreign to me at the moment.

I'm not going to mention any weird dreams I had or talk about books I'm either reading or writing.

This is going to be about believing. Believing in yourself, in God (or your chosen higher power), and believing in a bright future.

It may seem idealistic, but I prefer idealism to pessimism. Just believe. 
05/14 Direct Link
People like the sound of their own name. When you say someone's name after meeting them, like, "Nice to meet you, Bob," it lets them know that you aren't just seeing them as another person - you recognize them for who they are, to some degree.

I guess it's like a subtle stroke to the ego. "Ooh, he remembered my name!"

I don't know why I'm writing about all this name business, but it just came into my head and stuck there. I should go on ahead with the other writing stuff I have to do today. Git 'er dun! 
05/15 Direct Link
Purple is supposed to be the color of royalty. Blue is calming and soothing. Red is anger. Yellow is happiness. Orange...

Orange is my least favorite color. It's just so... out there. I prefer blue, even dark or neon blue seems more muted than orange. Blue has been my favorite color since eighth grade. Before that, I think purple might have been my favorite color. Perhaps it was red. I just remember that it was never orange.

Green is my second favorite color. Like blue, it's muted and can have a calming influence. It is also the color of nature.
05/16 Direct Link
Work piles up on Mondays. And it's perfectly fine - that's what Mondays are for. They're like a cold splash of water after you've been basking in the warm sunshine of the weekend. They shock you right back into reality and out of your dreaming state. 

One of the most important things in life is knowing when to have fun and when to be serious. A lot of people really can't differentiate between those times - I was like that, but now I know when to buckle down. But you can always keep your sense of humor, no matter what. 
05/17 Direct Link
I have a tube of unscented hand cream and just now realized it's empty. For some odd reason, my nose is sensitive to really strong perfume smells, so I have to use unscented. 

Strangely enough, when I walk down the street in my neighborhood, I can smell the clouds of honeysuckle hanging all over the place. As strong as honeysuckle is, it doesn't bother my nose at all - probably because it's a natural scent. 

Certain colognes make me feel sick if a person walks by with too much on. Nobody needs to smell that good! Tone it down!
05/18 Direct Link
I found a bullet while I was outside walking my dog. According to the flat bottom, it's from a .45 Winchester automatic. I know nothing about guns, so I can't get a mental image of the gun that would fire this particular bullet.

What's strange about it is that it's not just a casing. It's an actual bullet. The little thing is pretty heavy and could cause major damage. But for now, it's staying in my room where it will remain harmless. I don't own a single gun.

Guns don't kill people - people kill people. Don't blame the guns. 
05/19 Direct Link
I really don't have anything to hide on the Internet. I didn't kill anyone or rape anyone or do something that heinous. I don't have any deep, dark, terrible secrets. It is best to go about your business online as if there were no privacy settings: be as careful as you can. Think twice about anything you put online. It could come back to haunt you if you're not careful. 

We've all heard that warning 100 times, but it doesn't hurt to hear it again. I'm amazed by what some people write about themselves or about other people online.
05/20 Direct Link
I'm actually into American Idol this season. It's like watching some kind of sports game - you pull for one team to make it all the way through to the playoffs. The only reason I'm into American Idol this time around is because of Scotty.

I remember back in 2003 how everyone was into Clay Aiken because he was from Raleigh. 

I admit that the only reason I'm rooting for Scotty is because he's from Garner. I don't like country music otherwise, but I did listen to Scotty sing and I have to admit, his voice is amazing. I'm proud.
05/21 Direct Link
By giving up Facebook, I've managed to give up a lot of time that had previously been used for procrastination. 

Now I can spend my time a little better and be more wise about time management. I work task by task - I really can't work by blocks of time because I keep getting interrupted. (I live with four animals.) Using the block of time method works occasionally, but not often enough to be really useful. 

I just grab whatever time I have and use it whenever it appears. There's no sense in waiting. The moment will slip by.
05/22 Direct Link
I think I'm moving away from liking hard rock. Bands like Seether, Disturbed, Korn, and the like don't really appeal to me anymore. I still love Evanescence and Flyleaf, though. And The Smashing Pumpkins is still my favorite band of all time. But I just can't get into Seether and similar bands anymore. 

I like music that's more relaxing now, I think. The Smashing Pumpkins, no matter how hard they rock, can always manage to calm me down. It's the same way with Ev and Flyleaf. Seether and the like rile me up and I don't need that anymore.
05/23 Direct Link
Despite the fact that I said I never wanted a tattoo, I keep getting random tattoo ideas. Maybe a very small Japanese symbol on the back of my neck. Or something silly like my high school nickname, written in cursive, across one hip. A roman numeral XIII (or VII) on my ankle. A little orchid on my wrist.

But they'd all be in black. No color. I wouldn't want to pay for the color, nor would I want to look gaudy. 

This is all just fantasy - I don't want a tattoo anyway. But I can still keep dreaming, right? 
05/24 Direct Link
I've seen a few articles about how puberty is happening earlier and earlier. Girls are getting their periods at age 10 and 11, when the average age used to be 13. I agree that it's dangerous, especially since society is so sexualized and there are so many temptations out there. 

They make bikinis for girls who are 7 years old. That's just ridiculous. I think it's up to the parent to have control over what the child wears at that age. If my daughter wanted a bikini at age 7, I'd have to say no.

What a strange world.
05/25 Direct Link
Every day except the day we are born is our unbirthday. It's such a strange concept. Today is also un-Easter, un-Christmas, un-Halloween, you name it. It's a way of turning normal terms on their head. Today is just an ordinary day, but you can spin it in such a way that it seems extraordinary. 

Today is also my un-baptism. One major thing is supposed to happen today in a few short hours. I'm not looking forward to it. But it's part of life. It happens. They're like doctor and dentist appointments. We go through them. 
05/26 Direct Link
Most women seem to be full of contradictions. I'm not an exception, by any means. I'm loud and I'm quiet. I'm insecure, yet confident. It's so odd. It's hard to keep pushing against the feeling that you're "supposed" to be one way or the other, based on how society or other people define you. Only God knows what I'm "supposed" to be because he is the one who has made me who I am. What matters is what I am good at and what my gifts are. I know some of them and I have yet to discover the others.
05/27 Direct Link
A list of courses needed in college these days:

How to Improve Your Life 101
How to Better Yourself 101
Shaking off the Annoying Feeling that You're Not Good Enough 101
Surviving Today's Economy 101
Social Networking 101: How to Control Your Personal Information
Destroying Procrastination 101
Balancing Studying and Social Life 101
Job-Hunting 101
Building Mature, Adult Relationships 101

Those are all I can think of right now and there are so many more. Many of them wouldn't really be 101 - they'd be more advanced courses. Ah, if only college was a bit more practical... and if only all students were truly willing to learn.
05/28 Direct Link
I had the craziest dream last night. I was in New York City and I met Lady Gaga. We went shopping together and were singing "Born this Way" in front of a massive audience.

I've had variations on that dream, but with different singers. I had that dream about Amy Lee and Avril Lavigne. I think I may have had that dream with Lacey Mosley (Sturm) too, but I can't recall. 

The funny part about it is that I cannot sing to save my life. Supposedly, I sing all right in groups, but I can't stay on key alone.
05/29 Direct Link
I am a creature of routine. I need a schedule to keep on track and if I am not given a routine or if one is not suggested to me, I will make one for myself. 

It's the same way with deadlines. I am intensely deadline driven and will push myself to meet every deadline as best as I can. 

You can call me rigid, I don't care. To me, having structure is better than letting time run amok. < For the longest time, I could not remember how to spell "amok." I thought it needed C somewhere. 
05/30 Direct Link
Here's hoping that a test run of my new schedule goes well today. Since it's Memorial Day, a lot of shops are closed and there wouldn't really be anything to do, so why not run a test drive? Or drive a test run? 

In other news, I admire the bravery of our fallen soldiers, whether they died in battle or not. I admire the bravery of our soldiers who are serving all over the world today. It takes a strong person to stand up for his/her country and be prepared to die for it, if need be.  
05/31 Direct Link
Whenever I read a novel, I always enjoy it more if it has some element of romance in it. In reality, I'm not the biggest romantic person, but when I read and write fiction, I often do it for the romance. I like living vicariously through my characters when they're in romantic situations or awkward situations with their friends. Sometimes it's hard to separate what I would do from what the character would do, especially in the first draft, but that's what revision is for. No matter what, I shall remain a hopeless romantic when I continue to write stories.