REPORT A PROBLEM
Another month, another batch. I wonder how many batches of random ramblings I've collected here now? I lost count a long time ago. I come into this site, scribble something, then depart without fanfare.
March certainly came in like a lion last night (if I'm correct on how the saying goes) - there was a thunderstorm and lightning flashing so close to the house, it looked like a pulsing blue strobe light. My dog was terrified, the cats were totally oblivious, and my other dog is old and deaf, so she didn't hear the thunder.
Well, here's to a good March!
Next week will be the start of Lent. I'm giving up what I usually give up and I think I'm also going to try and learn the Hail Mary in Latin. Last year, I learned Our Father in Latin.
I might just be a nerd for saying this, but I think Latin is one of the most awesome languages out there (although it's dead). Nearly everything you can say in English sounds better in Latin. Hic corpus est, veni vidi vici, noli me tangere, e pluribus unum...
Anyway... here's to the last week before Lent! Eat, drink, and be merry!
If I'm ever in charge of telling my kids bedtime stories, they're going to be out of luck because I can never tell a good story right off the top of my head. I'm terrible at thinking on my feet. I'll read them a children's book or something, but I'm not going to sit there and come up with something off the top of my head.
Before I tell a story, I have to think about it. So if my kid asks for a story when he's 4, he's going to get a good one by the time he's 14.
They say that writing is an art form. Words on a page don't have any aesthetic value if you just look at them, like you would a piece of art by Escher or Dali.
Read into the words and let your mind create the art for you. In that way, writing really is an art form, even though what the author sees and what the reader sees may be different.
I can only hope that my readers are getting beautiful images from my writing. I'd hate to leave them disappointed... but that's why writing is subjective. We all see differently.
Do you compare yourself to others? I do all the time and it's the hardest habit in the world to break. The media sends us conflicting advice, like - be your own person, but this is what's in style and here is what you should look like. Not all of these messages are overt and that's what's confusing about it.
I keep telling myself that I don't need to compare myself to that girl or that girl or that girl. But I feel like I'm being compared all the time. Like someone's constantly thinking, "She's not as good as that girl."
I remember March 6 from seventh grade as the Terrible Day of the Terrible Writing Test.
Everyone was going around talking about March 6 in hushed whispers as if it was the day the world would end. I didn't mind writing, except when the writing has to be done on paper rather than the keyboard - which is precisely what the writing test is all about.
My handwriting is terrible, so making it look legible for the test would take up more time than actually writing the paper for the test prompt.
In 10th grade, we had the writing test again...
I love quotes. It's like the author of the quote took the thoughts right out of my head and arranged them into a short, sweet slice of language.
Quotes are like pie.
Now I'm getting really random, but it's only because I'm up an hour earlier than I'm used to. I don't mind getting up early, but it's just that the caffeine from the coffee hasn't hit my system yet.
I was reading The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane and it has a few really awesome quotes so far. The book is highly recommended.
Being extremely competitive is a bit of a curse. You always feel like you have to top everyone.
I don't want to be that way. Jesus said to put others before yourselves, so I should definitely try to elevate others and not focus so much on me.
I want success, though. I want to prove to others that I am competent and I can do things well and even better than others can.
My problem is that I feel like I have something to prove to people.
Instead I'll take a deep breath and think about what Jesus would want.
It's Lent. I think what I like about this time of the year is that we're coming out of winter and going into spring. Just the thought of that transition makes me happy.
It still feels like winter in March, after the first day of spring. To me, it isn't really spring until Easter. Then I feel like I can enjoy the season.
Lent gives the sensation of barrenness and of self-denial. Those aren't bad things, but they're reminiscent of winter, especially winter in the old days when we all depended upon what we could yield from the earth.
Those strange flares of anger are a kind of sickness. They strike as suddenly as a virus, leaving us sweating and in fever, our eyes rheumy and bulging.
Latin words fend them off, as if the illness is a type of ancient vampire living within us. The Aramaic words of Jesus won't work. It is Latin that destroys the beast.
We have to work hard to restrain the virus before it explodes into those fevered bouts of anger. Pray always, whether in Latin, Aramaic, English, Spanish... the language does not matter.
Prayer is the armor that may fend off viruses.
Working on a team is incredibly important, but there are certain things that should be done independently.
You know the old saying: If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
That applies in some situations, but the key is to know when something would be better done independently or with a team.
There's another good saying: Too many cooks spoil the broth. (Or something like that.)
Sometimes too many people on the job will ruin the job itself. Too many opinions may make the work suffer instead of making it better.
Be discerning in handling things.
Tomorrow is Daylight Saving Time, which irks me to no end. To this day, I still don't understand it and it still confuses me. I know the mnemonic is "spring forward and fall back" - but that doesn't help me remember it, either. I got so confused one year that I set the clock forward during fall and backward during spring.
Now, I think these changes are rather unnecessary. I think it had something to do with the railroad or with conserving electricity. I will inevitably get confused this year. Thank God it won't get dark so early in the evening.
Well, Daylight Savings Time has begun and I'm up at... well, if the stupid change hadn't occurred, it would be 5:51 AM. My cats and dogs are all confused about the time. I had to wake up early for church anyway, so this is REALLY early. They're looking at me like "How come she's waking up? Crazy humans. They always think they can manipulate time."
The clock is creeping toward a very dark 7:00 and that's when I'm going to feed the cat and walk the dog. That will be 6:00 to them, right? Darn time change...
It's Monday (duh) and to some extent, I think I'm still shell-shocked from Daylight Saving Time. (I learned yesterday that it's not "daylight-savings time," which delighted me.)
I'll get back into the flow - and thank God it's not going to be so dark so early at night. I don't like driving or walking in the dark - I'm not really sure why. I'm not a huge fan of night in general. I'm much more of a morning person. Everything's just so bright and sparkly in the morning - at night all you can hear is the deathly buzz of crickets.
It's the Ides of March. I think the 15th of every month except a few is the "ides" of that month.
Today is the anniversary of the day that I had a particularly horrible dream. I won't say much about it, but I will say that dreams are supposed to reveal something about the way you are as a person or give you insight into unresolved issues in your waking life.
That dream certainly did. It taught me that I often trust the wrong people and fail to trust the right people. Definitely something to work on in the future.
This is a notice to women:
If you're in a relationship with a guy who beats up on you in any way - verbally, physically, emotionally - walk the hell away! You don't have to take that, no matter who you are. It's not your fault, no matter how many times he tells you it is.
He might tell you that you're weak or stupid or fat or ugly or anything like that. You're not. He's lying. He's putting you down, preying on you so that he might feel better because inside he is weak.
You are stronger than him.
I don't have a single drop of Irish blood in me, but I still love St. Patrick's Day. And that is all I'll say on that subject.
I had a dream last night about wandering through some kind of misty forest, wishing I could find my way out. So odd.
And another dream, where I was forced into a marriage with a guy I totally didn't want to be with at all. That's a story idea - what if arranged marriages were still set up in our society?
There would be a lot of rebellion - I think I know that much.
I can't stand when the same song is stuck in your head for days on end. I often have two songs stuck in my head at once, one dominant and playing right over the obsessive one. I believe that I'd be much more productive if I didn't have songs taking up room in my brain. The brain expends enough energy doing the things we don't think about - keeping our heart beating and our chests rising and falling.
The last thing I need is a song stuck in my head. You'd think giving up music for Lent would stop the earworms...
Ah, Saturday. It's the day of the week when you feel like you're actually going to have time to do things because it's the weekend and you don't have to work.
But Saturdays are usually spent doing all the things you couldn't get done during the week when you had to work. So Saturday ends up going by even faster than a weekday would.
Sunday is a little bit different. Sunday is more of a relaxing day, at least to me. But if you work retail and have to work on weekends, then Sunday may be your Saturday.
It's finally spring, but to me, it doesn't feel like it's really spring until April. That's when everything is green and the weather finally makes up its mind to be warm.
I had an idea for a story yesterday. I'm thinking of saving it for NaNoWriMo, but part of me is like "just write it now!" and I think I might just do that, because I get the feeling that I'll have a lot of fun writing this particular piece.
Heehee, my old high school being dilapidated - that's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. Gotta love CHS.
I got a very illiterate fortune cookie last night. It was something like "Look into your pass for answer."
You know, that's what I've been trying to do. I've been trying to see what I've done wrong so that I can fix it. I've been trying to forgive people, at least in my own mind so I will feel at ease if I ever see them again. I'm trying, slowly but surely, to become a stronger person.
I never want to go back to being the weakling that I was. I want to keep on moving forward in my life.
When you wake up in the morning, you're not necessarily thinking clearly. Your head is still a jumble of half-formed dreams, plans for the new day, and thoughts about yesterday.
Mornings should start slow. Try not to rush through the morning. You may break a few brain cells trying to go too fast. Have some coffee or tea, whichever you like. Read the news - but not the depressing stories. If you had any interesting dreams, record them. Plans for the day? Write those down. Thoughts about yesterday? If they were bad, forget them. If they were good, cherish them.
Is Poetry a Dying Art?
That topic has been debated for quite some time. It just seems that nobody reads much poetry anymore. The poetry section of the library collects dust faster than any other section.
I remember when I was in seventh grade and I read some poetry by Edgar Allan Poe for class. I was utterly mystified. I loved it. Like the nerd I was, I visited the school library and checked out an enormous book of Poe's poetry.
It was dusty and probably hadn't been checked out in years. That book was what got me into poetry.
I don't like writing about love anymore, at the risk of sounding emo. Back in high school and part of college, I was a pretty emo person, at least in personality; not necessarily in appearance.
Some days I hate love. Or maybe I just hate society's version of love. Get involved with someone, immediately start having sex, regret nothing and have no emotions when all the "love" has boiled away in a matter of three months.
I can't do that. I don't want that. If that's love, then I hate love. I want a person I can trust. Not lust.
I still feel bad for MySpace. It's going downhill really fast, despite the many attempts to revive it. What killed it was definitely Facebook, and for some reason, that still irritates me, although I don't really use either one of them anymore.
If MySpace were to shut down completely, I think it would hinder the musicians most of all. MySpace, unlike Facebook, made itself much more receptive to musicians and artists. There are many underground bands looking for exposure that are on MySpace. It's a bit more of a hassle to get music on Facebook, as far as I know.
I need to start doing a bit of HTML programming again. I miss that stuff. It's tedious, but if you put a bit of music on, you'll actually enjoy it. It's the kind of work that sucks you in and makes it difficult to find a stopping point once you get started.
There are other tasks (totally unrelated) like vacuuming, where you drag your feet and procrastinate and don't start, but the second you actually do pull the machine out of the closet and start pushing it around the floor, you're all right. The task takes only about 45 minutes.
All of a sudden I like reading really fast, easy YA books. I plan to become a YA author, so I have to read in my chosen genre anyway. Right now I'm reading Lauren Conrad's L.A. Candy and it's addicting. It's definitely not the best YA book I've ever read or anything, but it has its merits and its downfalls. I'm more a fan of the plot than any of the characters; they're all relatively annoying so far.
I'm not sure yet if I plan to keep reading the rest of the series. We'll see how the books go.
Again, I'm not a big fan of writing about love, but I read today's featured entry about the qualities of a guy that are attractive to one particular girl.
I like dark hair, too. It sounds biased, but I won't give blonds or redheads a second glance. The guy has to smell natural. I hate the overpowering scent of cologne some of them wear. Intelligence is definitely be a factor, but above all...
I must be able to talk to him easily and trust him. If those two things aren't there, then it won't be good for me or him.
Too many story ideas are coming into my head all at once. I don't want to make the mistake of writing two first drafts at the same time. That usually doesn't turn out very well.
Next month, I'm going to be revising an older story of mine, while writing a totally new screenplay for Script Frenzy (which all of you should join by the way, haha!). I think in the month after that, I am going to start with another new idea that's been crowding my head. Of course, I'll take some time to outline it; I live by outlines.
I can't wait until I see her around. I'm going to give her the world's biggest hug and the world's loudest "Hi, how are you?" Because I really do want to know. Maybe I'll even be brave enough to apologize to her. I mean, I don't know what I did to her, but she stopped talking to me for some reason. I don't care why - I'll make amends. I'll try my best to make my wrong right.
I do think about her often. I hope she's getting along in life and getting closer to doing what she wanted to do.
March supposedly comes in like a lion and out like a lamb. Well, this year it reversed. It's coming out like a lion and it came in like a lamb. I think temperatures going into March were warmer than temperatures going into April.
I think that's why I like spring. It can be bipolar some years. Or that just may be North Carolina springs. I don't know. I lived in New York, but that was ages ago and I can't remember what spring was like there. Probably still cold and snowy.
In that case, I'll take North Carolina's spring anyway.
The Tip Jar