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You know how they say the way to a guy's heart is through his stomach?
It's the same thing for me, too. And I'm a girl.
Seriously. Take me out to eat - or make me some food from scratch and I'm all yours!
My last boyfriend made me a waffle in the dining hall. He had me right there. Couldn't say no.
Not like the boyfriend before him, who made me wait until midnight before he finally made up his mind on what we'd have for dinner.
I know it's not fair to compare, but food is important to me.
Most of life is waiting for something, so you better get used to it.
1. Waiting in line at the supermarket.
2. Waiting for the guy in the Hummer to pull away from the gas pump so you can use it.
3. Waiting for a dentist/doctor appointment.
4. Waiting to pick your kids up from school.
5. Waiting between flights at the airport.
6. Waiting while your dog takes 10 minutes to sniff one patch of grass.
7. Waiting at really long red lights.
8. Waiting for important events.
9. Waiting for the next season of a TV show.
My dad says this almost daily: "Why can't we all just get along?"
Because it's hard to put ourselves in others' shoes (or positions, for those in the world who don't have shoes).
It's really hard to see as others see - or even try to see that way.
I have a difficult time myself - I can't see myself without my Catholic faith. I honestly wouldn't know who I was without it. That can make it hard for me to understand others' views on religion.
But I do make the attempt. It's those who don't even try that contribute to wars.
War on Crime
It really is true. I check my local news several times a day and nearly every time there's a crime or a car accident, the perpetrator is black or Hispanic.
I see white people as perpetrators, but it is a disproportionate amount of the minority races. I don't know why that is. Is it because we pick on those races because we don't like them - or is it honestly because there are higher rates of crime among them?
Something's not right.I wonder what we can do to change it. I hope that we can find something soon.
Some guys should come with a warning label (some girls, too, for that matter; I'm definitely one of them).
WARNING: May explode upon application of pressure.
WARNING: Temper, temper.
WARNING: Gossip queen.
WARNING: Freak in bed.
Et cetera. Or maybe we should come with ingredients lists like food: Cuteness: 80%, Shallowness: 20%
Anger: 10%, Stubbornness: 10%, Happy-go-lucky: 40%, Intelligence: 40%
It might come in handy - or it might ruin the entire relationship, which is a journey to find more out about the other person - and of course, see if you're compatible with that person.
Watch Out For Weirdos
I used to think I was some kind of weirdo magnet. (Speaking of which, the book Freak Magnet by Andrew Auseon, is really good.)
Once I had this stupid theory that went something like this: The lower your self-esteem is, the more freaks and weirdos you will attract. However, if you happen to have high self-esteem, you will attract "high-quality" people.
I realize now that what's "high-quality" to one might be a "freak" to another, so my theory is invalid.
I no longer think of people in terms of quality. We're all awesome.
I tried to drown her under the water. I held her head down, saw her hair float up and bubbles rise to the surface. She looked like a princess asleep under all that water. Her cheeks had not yet turned blue. She was so lovely I took pity on her and let her rise. Her eyes, large and green as seaweed, opened and took me in.
She thought I saved her when I had been trying to destroy her. I did not mean to save her. I only wanted to save myself, so I played nice and let her go.
I haven't seen a waterfall in a long while. I must say that I miss them. My parents went to Niagara Falls for their honeymoon and supposedly it was nice. It would probably been too cold for me, but I was born in 1988; they married in 1971, so I wasn't even a twinkle in their eyes.
How strange it must be - to get married and have the whole world in front of you with one life-partner at your side...
I wonder if I'll ever be able to find someone I can sit and watch the waterfalls with. Maybe.
Way of the Samurai
Anyone remember that show on Cartoon Network, Samurai Jack? I never really cared for it. I always watched The Powerpuff Girls or Rugrats or something like that. Hey Arnold! was my all-time favorite TV show back then.
They used to have a ton of episodes on YouTube, but they got taken off in 2006-2007 for copyright violation. I suppose I could get DVDs of all the seasons somewhere; maybe to share with my kids someday.
Yeah, my kids will be the weirdos in class with me, the old-fashioned parent letting them watch obscure cartoons.
We Are At War
Boy, do I wish there could be world peace. It would be so nice if we could sit down around some huge international table and talk without trying to judge each other or attack each others' beliefs.
I know I've mentioned this before, but it's worth repeating...
inside we're all the same. We have the same basic needs and wants: food, clothes, shelter, fresh air to breathe, fresh water to drink. We're all human. We have the same urges. We laugh, we cry, we get hungry, we get lonely.
Why can't we focus on the similarities instead?
We Belong Together
I haven't found the one I belong to yet. I'm beginning to think that he doesn't exist or lives only inside my head.
Who is going to be Catholic and as ridiculously conservative (some say narrow-minded) as I am?
What kind of guy isn't going to want to drink? Or smoke?
I don't date bisexual guys. Sorry. I have nothing against them as people; I would just prefer not to date them.
I want a guy who could never exist in this state (North Carolina) and especially this county (Johnston).
I'll give my heart to God instead.
We’re All Nuts or We Wouldn’t Be Here!
There's a movie coming out called It's Kind of a Funny Story. It's about a teenage boy who checks himself into a mental hospital. The movie was based on a YA book and I remember reading the book, but I didn't really like it too much. I've read lots of YA books where the protagonist goes into a mental health facility or drug rehab or something like that... it just feels overdone to me.
I don't think I'd see the movie. Maybe when it comes to Netflix, I'll rent it.
I have two greatest weaknesses
1. Insecurity/Low Confidence
Those two have been my biggest weaknesses for as long as I can remember. I don't know how they started; I don't know whether they were learned or inherited (perhaps a little of both) but I do know that they've been causing me issues.
I've been trying to combat them with
and I suppose that it's working so far. For insecurity and everything that goes with that, I really have to work hard - and it's exhausting because it's so hard for me to step out of my comfort zone. I'll try!
He was obsessed with weapons. Enormous swords, powerful guns, knives with dragons on the handles, you name it, he was obsessed with it. He especially liked brass knuckles, throwing knives, ninja stars, but he couldn't decide what kind of a bandit he wanted to be. There was no indication in his life that he would be a lover of violence. He had a loving, stable home - parents that supported him, grandparents that would give him anything he asked for (but not weapons). So we'll blame his obsession on video games, TV, and the mass media. That's an easy solution, right?
Weight of the World
Ooh! An Evanescence song! They're one of my favorite bands, a list of which would be...
3. The Dollyrots
4. The Smashing Pumpkins
5. Lady Gaga
I used to like Seether and Bush and Disturbed a lot, too, but ever since I broke up with that particular guy, I can't listen to bands like that without tearing up.
A guy pulled up beside me in a yellow Mustang, Disturbed blaring from his speakers. He smiled at me. I smiled back, but I thought...
"he's probably just like my ex. I could never date a guy like that again."
I always imagine my high school reunion even though I've only been out of high school about four years. After ten years, what will we all be doing with our lives? How many of us will have gotten married, had kids, gotten divorced? Will I have something to talk about that I take pride in? Will I look back on the ex-football players and think, "They didn't amount to much," or will they actually have made it into the NFL? How many of us will have lived in Clayton all our lives? We all wanted to escape it.
Welcome To Hell
That reminds me of a Family Guy episode where Stewie nearly died and he went to hell for a brief period of time. It was hilarious, as all those Family Guy sequences are. (Remember the time when I was...)
As a matter of fact, Family Guy is becoming my favorite animated comedy (the only type of show I'll watch on TV). I used to like The Simpsons, but to me, the show's just not as funny as it used to be. There was one season when The Simpsons had it in the bag, but not so much now.
I'm well aware what you think of me, but the question is, why should I care?
I read a post yesterday by one of my favorite bloggers - and it was about how we're conditioned (in American society) to take what others say about us as Gospel truth. Society raises us to believe that it's others' opinions of us that matter most. That's why we must always have the perfect clothes, shoes, hair, makeup, etc.
We care about what others think. We shouldn't. We shouldn't change for other people (they won't care) - we should change for ourselves, to better ourselves.
What A Fool I've Been
It's the dreaded facepalm moment. It's the second after you've said something so stupid and mindless that you can't believe it escaped your lips uncensored. You don't know how long this faux pas will haunt you or who will pass it around - or who will throw it back at you next.
One of the hardest things to do in this life is to listen calmly to what others say and not blurt out things that will embarrass us later. It takes a good listener to be a good leader and to avoid those embarrassing facepalm moments.
What’s In A Name?
Ooh, names. They always fascinate me. I analyze all my friends' names just to see if their personalities have anything to do with the meaning of their name. Sometimes they do.
When I name my characters in my stories, I try to make their names have a deeper significance than just sounding pretty.
Marcel Proust puts a lot of emphasis on names and the names of places. I'm currently slogging through the third part of his tome right now - the C.K. Scott Moncrieff translation.
Remembrance of Things Past is a great rainy day book.
How many times has your mother (or some other elder or relative) said to you, "It's rude to whisper!"
I think that depends on the situation, and what's being whispered about. I've always thought that sometimes, it might be more rude to say the whispered phrase out loud.
You might seriously hurt feelings like that. Whispering is like wrapping felt around the blade of a knife. It covers the sting.
These days, though, I'd rather take the blade without the felt. If you've got something to say about me, say it. Be brave and stab me right in the chest.
I like white. If I ever get my own place, most of the decor will be white, probably with a mixture of blues and greens. It'll be like having springtime all year.
I like the symbolism of white, the purity of white.
That's ironic, because when I was a teenager, black was my favorite color and I wanted everything I owned to be black. I didn't actually start liking white until I was in my second year of college, I think.
White makes me happy now - black makes me think back to when I was a teenager - and I cringe.
"White Flag" was a Dido song that continually played over the intercom radio in every retail store I walked into. I think the year must have been 2004 or something... let me do a fact check...
The song was released as a single in 2003, so it must have been around '03 or '04 when it played in all the stores.
I don't like the song, probably because it's been so overplayed. I hate how popular music radio stations do that; they literally play the same ten songs over and over again to the point of brainwashing listeners.
This is a good prompt, considering all the gay teens that have been on the news for committing suicide lately.
People. Hello. There are gay people. There are lesbians. There are bisexual and transgender people.
Does that mean you should pick on them or hate them? Absolutely not!
Weren't we raised to respect one anothers' differences, even if we don't necessarily agree with them?
I don't believe that gay marriage should be legalized, but that doesn't mean I hate gays/lesbians/bisexuals/transgenders. I won't discriminate against them - it's the person inside that matters, not their sexuality.
Who's Your Daddy?
That's a silly prompt. I don't know where that phrase came from, although I probably could check Urban Dictionary...
Well, there's no origin of the phrase, but it does say that the phrase is used when someone got "owned."
"Who's your daddy?" is too many words. I prefer to just say "owned" or "pawned." Brevity is the heel that stomps that word into the person.
I don't have much on my mind today - except suicide. A man in my neighborhood killed himself a few days ago. A bunch of sad things happened in his life.
That word was never really in my vocabulary. I used "sweet" way more, especially around 2007. "Wicked" was a word I preserved for when I was writing and I was trying to assume a character's voice. I can imagine that my character David Morgan (not David Fegelein) would be the type to use "wicked" - I know Tsunami would, only because he was trying to act cool or something.
And even my story reviewer in ENGLAND knows that Naomi is too good for Tsunami. Stick that in your juice box and suck it! (Ooh, I've been dying to say that, haha!)
My cat thinks he's a big, bad wild cat now that we let him go outside during the day. He comes inside at night with this arrogant swagger, meowing to us about how many voles or moles or lizards he caught. Sometimes he even catches a rabbit, but he never eats the entire thing. There's always severed body parts lying around our yard. My brother thinks it's hilarious, but he won't pick up the parts with the shovel and throw them away. I'm waiting for the day when my cat finally deposits a rabbit head at my brother's bedroom door.
Win or Lose
NaNoWriMo's coming up. I bet you're sick and tired of hearing about it by now, but if you don't know what it is, I won't tell you - just Google it.
I am determined to win. Nothing will stand in my way. As with the past two years, I shall be victorious!
The past two years were difficult; I was in the middle of midterms and studying for finals and in the first year I had a boyfriend. (Boyfriends take lots of time away from writing.)
This year I have job searching, which is difficult too. Victory is mine!
Winds of Change
I think I'll be finished with these 1,000 themes by the end of 2010. I wonder if 2011 will be a big year of change for me, like 2009 was. In a way, I hope so - as long as it's good change, of course.
I need a job. I need to improve my social skills. Maybe I'll fall in love again (although I highly doubt that - I'm still "exhausted"). Maybe I'll get a story or a poem published (still too early to hope for publication of a novel).
If there is change, please let it be good.
I often wish I had wings. I'd love to drift above my town, letting the wind carry me to different places, so I could see everything from a panopticon's perspective.
That's why if someone asks me what kind of animal I'd want to be, I'd say a bird. (Or a cat, but that's more of an inside joke.) Birds aren't necessarily free, (they've got a lot of predators) but having wings gives them an advantage that not every creature can boast.
Butterflies have wings, too, but I wouldn't want to be a butterfly. Their lifespan would be far too short.
Winter is my least favorite season. I don't like it when my fingers are paralyzed with cold and I can barely write. My parents insist on keeping the house at the frigid temperature of 68. I can't wear gloves while writing/typing because that's just cumbersome.
What I do like about winter is the snow, of course, an easy excuse to drink some hot chocolate, and the way the world renews itself for spring. Winter is a good time to wear white, Christmas is in winter... New Year's - it seems like winter is more about new beginnings than spring is.
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