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I don't like when I go to bed at 10:30 and wake up at 7:30 feeling tired. I'm getting about eight or nine hours of sleep per night. That's supposedly the average amount, right? Well, I guess everyone's different. My dad claims to need only six or seven hours. My mom could sleep for eleven or twelve... hmm...
Maybe I'll go to bed at 9:30 and wake up at 8:30... but all that will change once I get a job. Speaking of which, it's time to get back to the search, which makes me tired... yawn...
To Be or Not To Be
A famous line from Hamlet. The first time I read Hamlet was when I was in eighth grade, which is and always will be my favorite year of school (K-12).
My least favorite year was probably either my 5th grade or my 12th grade. I don't do well with leaving schools, apparently. I only spent one year (my eighth grade year) in one middle school - so it was a beginning and an ending all at once. That was the shortest length of time I had ever spent in any school.
To Have and To Hold
Marriage seems such a long way off and I'm glad for that.
I'm terrified of commitment. I'm terrified of meeting the wrong one and falling in love with him, then becoming another statistic of the divorce rate in this country.
I know I need to know myself first before I even try to love someone. I have to love me for who I am before I can love someone for who they are.
I accept people for who they are already, but love and commitment are totally different things.
I'm just not ready for them.
To The Moon and Back
There are only a few people in this life I would go to the moon and back for and they are the members of my family and my best friend. I'd do just about anything for them and I'm sure they'd do the same for me.
The moon seems to be a romantic place when you're looking at it from Earth. But astronauts discovered that the moon isn't really all that romantic - it's a crater-filled boulder in the sky that isn't self-illuminated. Not as romantic, but still amazing.
I'd go there and back.
Too Sexy For My Shirt
I don't like that song - and many of the other songs that are perpetually on movie soundtracks.
"In a world where (insert main character's name here) is too sexy for his/her shirt..."
I wonder how the movie industry will look in twenty years - or even in ten.
Wait, never mind. I wonder how the book industry will look in twenty years. It seems that books are becoming fodder for the movie industry; every really good movie seems to be based off a book that's been written in recent years.
Books for the win!
Tortoise and the Hare
I remember reading Aesop's fables when I was a kid. Most of the children's books that I've read have burned themselves into my memory. Right now I'm re-reading Lewis Carroll's Alice books and it's surprising me how much of them I know by heart, word for word.
I'm not like Harold Bloom - with his vast memory for poetry - but I can remember things I read when I was a child with astonishing clarity. Maybe it's because the child's mind is so impressionable and a lot of the books were strange enough to stick with me.
There are some days when writing is torture. It's torture for me to write anything between the hours of 2:00PM until 8:00PM. I'm a morning person. I've got no problem getting up at the earliest hours, before the sun comes up. I write best before 2:00PM.
I can write after 8:00PM, but it's a little more difficult. The night seems to drag on, like the tail of a prowling cat. Words that would multiply quickly in daylight hours seem to subtract and divide at night.
I'll mentally torture myself to get the right words.
I'm not a touchy-feely person. If certain people get too close to me, it makes me feel claustrophobic.
I don't care if members of my family hug me; that's different. If strangers or people I don't know very well hug me, I get irritated fast.
They invariably say, after hugging me, "You're all skin and bones" or "You're so bony" and I'm thinking, Haven't you ever heard of high metabolism? I can't help it!
That's one of the reasons I don't want people touching me. They usually make some kind of comment, usually one that I'm tired of hearing.
It's a song from Evanescence's first album, Fallen. I don't know if "Tourniquet" ever got to be a single, but it was one of my favorite songs by Evanescence. A few years later, I realized it was actually a cover of one of the band member's previous songs - "My Tourniquet." The band was called Soul Embraced and I have no idea if they're still around today.
The original sounds better than the Evanescence cover in my opinion. It took me awhile to get used to the heavier sound, but when I compared the two, I liked "My Tourniquet" much better.
The fear of heights is a common one. Perhaps you or someone you know has a fear of heights or is claustrophobic or has to sleep with the light on.
Fears are natural and normal. It doesn't seem like it would be good to be fearless. Standing on top of the highest tower must be an exhilarating experience, but you need the fear to keep your feet firmly on the building.
If we were fearless, we'd be jumping off cliffs like lemmings. Death wouldn't faze us. Putting our lives in danger wouldn't freak us out.
That is an interesting thought.
Anger and jealousy are toxic emotions. They cause you do to things that you quickly regret. Usually when you're angry or jealous, you act so quickly on those negative emotions that there's no time to think that what you're doing might be a bad thing or have consequences.
Think before you act, although it may be hard. Avoid things that might lead to anger or jealousy. Try to talk through them rationally instead of acting out in a violent way.
You don't want the toxicity of those two emotions to ruin your life. Be aware and remember what Yoda said.
Tradition is very valuable to me. I'm definitely more of a conservative, old-fashioned person than most in my age group (18-24). I think a lot of that comes from being raised Roman Catholic, which is a faith that's strongly based on traditions.
My faith might also explain why I'm so devoted to routine, order, and organization. I've always had that theory in the back of my mind.
All in all, traditions are held for a reason. Old traditions are never senseless. It's just that lots of people hold them in lower esteem than they had in the past.
Hamlet is probably the most famous tragic hero. I'd like to read more Shakespeare. I'd like to read more period, but I've been spending so much time writing.
It's him I want to write about. I don't yet know who he is, but he is something of a muse, as most writers have.
Muses are known to be fickle. They come around unexpectedly, often when you're in the shower or in the car or some other situation when you can't grab paper and pen that easily.
I won't rely on my muse before I write about the tragic hero.
Don't get into a situation where you feel like you have to betray someone you care about. Sometimes, it's hard not to get into these situations. It might seem like there isn't a way out at all. There always is some kind of a way. Trust in a higher power, trust your senses, trust your feelings (I think that's a Star Wars quote).
I don't really have much to write on this subject, except "quisling." That's the word for traitor. It came from Vidkun Quisling, who was a Norwegian traitor during World War II. He's the king of the traitors.
Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers!
When I was a kid, I only watched Power Rangers a few times. I remember that I liked the pink ranger the best, probably because I was in a phase where I liked pink. I also wanted my hair to be blond. I wanted my hair much shorter than it was. I also liked the name Kimberly.
Basically, I wanted to be the opposite of what I was. Now I have my hair short and I miss my long hair. I vowed never to dye my hair - not even when it starts getting gray. No transforming...
There are traps everywhere. You just have to know what they are so you can avoid them. It helps to learn by the examples of older brothers and sisters - or even friends that are older and have experienced things before you did.
It's easy to fall into traps when you're alone, young, and naive. It's natural to make mistakes. Sometimes, it's even necessary to make mistakes. Learning from your own mistakes is a more powerful lesson than learning from the mistakes of another.
Some people have to have an experience before they decide on something. Others learn by watching others.
I keep picturing the movie cliches - the giant golden chest full of diamonds, pearls, and other priceless jewels. I see the enormous rare jewel encased in a faraway museum.
That's what I don't like about movies - even the few movies I've seen. The special effects and the visuals get stuck in my head and I can't picture anything without it being some kind of movie cliche.
Music videos have that same kind of atmosphere about them. They're all very similar. Even the ones that are supposed to be 'unique' are similar in their eccentricities.
I hope I'm not just jaded.
A lot of little dogs shake. To quote from that Disney (?) movie about chihuahuas, they shake because they have the power. Exactly what that power is, I don't recall. The movie was really cute and geared toward kids. I guess it was better than that idiotic TV show (which isn't really for kids) Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I don't know why anyone would watch that - but if you do, feel free to say why you do. Maybe if I watched more than just the few episodes I watched, I'd be more interested in the show. But I just don't care.
Research Triangle Park (an area in the state of North Carolina) bothers me. I drove over there to interview for a job and none of the buildings were labeled with the company name or any kind of identifier. The numbers of the buildings were almost too small to see as I drove by.
Eventually, I found the company and the building I was supposed to be interviewing with. RTP is somewhat far from where I live, and I don't really think I'd want to work there. I'd rather work in Raleigh - it's a lot closer and more familiar to me.
Excessive sarcasm, especially over the Internet, bothers me. Can't these people find any other way to be intelligent? Sarcasm over the Internet is difficult to detect and a lot of people are tricked by it. I hate how posting comments under a CNN news article or a YouTube video turns into an all-out war over who has the best opinion.
All opinions are created equal. We have our own reasoning (be it logical or illogical) to stand by our opinions. We should respect the opinions of others and not bash someone just because we happen to disagree with them.
The first things that came to my head when I saw the prompt were a few lines from "Alejandro" by Lady Gaga. "She hides true love..."
The woman's music is like a virus. I've probably said this before, but every song she writes gets stuck in my head - sometimes for days on end. It's not exactly a bad disease - except when all I feel like listening to is Lady Gaga's songs over and over.
I'm anticipating the next album, but at the same time, I feel like my musical tastes should be getting more mature as I get older.
Trying Too Hard
There are some guys who will try too hard to get your attention and end up doing really stupid things. I don't want to name people, but I know a lot of guys who would do that. It turned out to be more annoying than cute.
The attention the guy would get wouldn't be positive attention, either. Those things like to backfire, especially in middle school "relationships."
As much as I'd like to take a trip back into the past where it's relatively "safe" and "predictable," I'd rather just keep moving on into the future. It's fun there.
There's trouble lurking around the corner and it's going to jump out at you. It might be a cat's eyes glowing from a dark hallway. It might be the laundry basket sitting in the middle of the hall - just waiting for you to trip over it. It might even be the can of cat food you drop on your toe. It could be that you're not careful when you slice a loaf of French bread with a knife - you might slice your hand open.
Even in domestic situations, trouble is everywhere. Be careful and watch all your steps!
Tsukura Mono to Kowasu Mono
I believe that's supposed to be Japanese for "creators and destroyers." That brings to mind a lot of philosophical and religious questions - if God created us humans with love and if he loves each and every one of us as his own children, then why would he allow his children to destroy each other?
We hurt each other with weapons, words, wars... the list goes on, ad infinitum (I've been dying to use that phrase!)
The way I see it, God allows these things to happen as a test of character to determine who is good.
From the magic that is Google, I am getting mixed results for the meaning of "tsumi." One is something about the Shinto religion. Another is a band called "Tsumi" that has a MySpace Music profile. The next result is the url of someone's WordPress blog.
And that all brings me to the question of manga (Japanese comics). They're so addictive, yet so expensive. I would check them out of the library, but my library only has a certain number of volumes of each manga - or I could just read online. That's not the same as having the actual book, though.
Another Japanese word. Some otaku probably threw the 1000 Themes list together and distributed it madly throughout the Internet. Who knows? It could have came out of 4chan for all I'm aware of.
Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against otaku and nothing against the Japanese language. I love learning new languages - and I could even understand being a "Japanophile."
They've got lots of cool stuff over in Japan. They have sushi in the vending machines, for crying out loud!
I'd love to visit Japan one of these days. I feel like the Japanese are more refined than Americans.
Tune Into My World
I may have mentioned this in here before, but in high school I had a friend who thought it would be neat if everyone had a certain theme song for when they walked by.
For instance, if I walked past Lady Gaga, I would hear "Paparazzi" swirling around her - or something like that.
If she passed me, maybe she'd hear a song like "Thirty-three" by The Smashing Pumpkins. An interesting thought.
It would be a lot like tuning into someone's world. Sometimes someone else's songs and their lyrics are exactly how we'd want to express ourselves.
Run! Run away as fast as you can!
OK, I'll admit it. I'm not as
-averse as I may seem. I got through three of the books and I lost interest because the whole thing just seemed unbelievable. I never really cared for Bella, the protagonist, and the popularity of the books put me off.
Usually, the more popular and ubiquitous something gets, the more inclined I am to stay away from it.
I have never seen any of the
movies so far. No interest there.
I often wonder what it would be like to have a twin. Maybe my twin would be my exact opposite: an extrovert and a people-person instead of a complete recluse.
Strange people abound in this world. They do not see themselves as strange because they're happy with the way they are. Strangeness, like beauty, must be in the eye of the beholder.
Take others' opinions about you with a grain of salt. Chances are, they don't know you all that well anyway. But at the same time, take all suggestions for improvement.
I won't whine. I'll deal with it.
Jesus tells us to follow the path that is straight and narrow. It's the path that not many can walk on at once - we carry our troubles totally alone, but with the help of a heavenly savior, so perhaps we aren't totally alone after all.
Then there's the other road. It's wide and curving and many fit on it at once. Many walk it daily. There's greed, corruption, illegitimate sex, murder, and all kinds of other horrors.
It truly is easier to be a bad person - to take the wide, curving road - than to follow the straight, narrow path.
Two Sides to Every Story
The last thing I want is to seem pretentious or judgmental. To have an open mind is so valuable, probably because it's so difficult. We all have our preconceived notions, our misconceptions, our likes and our dislikes.
It's human nature to compete with others. Maybe that's why we slap stereotypes on people - to make them seem predictable, so they won't be as difficult to compete with them.
There are two sides to every story. We may stereotype others, and others may stereotype us. It's not fair, but it's human nature - and it's life, which isn't fair!
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