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I used to be so embarrassed to take pictures. I mean, I still am, but slightly less so. Speaking of photos... I hate to babble about my ex again, but he went and posted a bunch of photos on his Facebook and I got physically sick to my stomach looking at them. He's a nice guy, but he can't pose and look cool. He just ends up looking like a poser. Now he's trolling for comments, and I would comment, but I'd end up saying something mean. Better to not say anything at all rather than say something that's mean.
All these phantoms from the past keep coming in on me and I want to one day fictionalize them and put them in a story. That's why I love NaNoWriMo. In just one month, I can scribble out an idea or a concept that I really like and have it done and ready to revise. I did it just this past November, but this story is completely fiction. The next NaNoWriMo I do will be a little bit more autobiographical. My character names are going to be "the boy" and "the girl" again, like I did for my first story.
I don't want to write about the prompt. I want to write about an ex boyfriend of mine who always (whether consciously or unconsciously) copies what his friends do. After he's around them, he will begin to use words they use, similar phrase structure, and he will even begin to think about and value what they do. I hate that. It's like he's some kind of mockingbird or parrot, influenced by everyone. I used to try and instill some good in the boy, but that failed miserably; he'll listen to every idiot, but not to any things I say.
My ex (I hate how I always talk about him, but he irks me) was forever talking about guns. OK, when I was sixteen and stupid, it was cute. But when, after four and a half years, he's still talking about guns, it's not cute anymore. It's immature and stupid. I wish he would grow up and stop seeing everything in black and white. I wish I knew what caused it. When I dated him, I put everything I had into helping him. Biggest waste of time ever. I don't think he'll ever learn. I feel sorry for him.
I really like pie! When I was a kid, my mom used to make this chocolate pie that was really delicious... I want to find that recipe and make it for myself one day; that will get very interesting very fast. I like apple pie, but lately it hasn't been coming out right, even though my mom has been following the recipe. Strange. I don't really care too much for pumpkin pie, or any pies with nuts in them. There was a really good pie once, but I can't remember what it's called or anything. I will make that one.
Pink (Mr. Johansen)
I see a lot of the girls around the school wearing the Victoria's Secret Pink brand. They are too young to be shopping there. Maybe I am just overly conservative, but I do not think girls should go there until they are 21. My first girlfriends were sensible. They shopped at conservative stores, they dressed conservatively, and were respectable. Girls nowadays do not seem to have much respect for themselves or for the young men who they tease mercilessly. I am glad I am not a teenager in today's society. My youth was in the perfect time.
I like flowers, but I wish there were more blue ones. I want my wedding colors (provided that I ever get married) to be blue and white because both mean innocence and purity. I like any kind of flowers, though. Since it's the winter, I won't be seeing as many pretty flowers; just the typical poinsettias. Don't get me wrong, they're pretty too, but they're not even flowers. And they're poisonous. On a stranger note, I wish a certain guy would give in and come back to me. I would have made him the happiest guy alive, for real.
I remember walking down the halls in high school when I was supposed to be in class. I'd hum the Pink Panther music to myself, just to make things more hilarious, then burst out laughing and try to stifle it so nobody would catch me out in the hall. Now that I'm in college, I don't have to worry about sneaking around like I used to. The problem is that now I don't have anyone who will walk around the halls with me. I miss my best guy friend from high school... probably more than any words can express.
Pirate Versus Ninja
Four words for that: immature high school crap. And yet, there are still people in college who think that way all the time. I don't know what to think about it, but I just kind of roll my eyes and laugh because it is fucking stupid. I wish a lot of people would just grow up and leave childhood behind already. There are many subjects I could rant on for hours, and this is just one of them... but I will not continue. I have exams to write and study for and I want to pass them already!
Playing the Melody
I have no facility with music. I like to listen to music, but beyond that, it's all Chinese to me. My dad likes to play the saxophone and my brother likes to play the guitar. When they play at the same time, the entire house is in discord. My mom and I will be trying to read or think over the sound of chaos. My dad will hand me a sheet of music notes and start explaining something and my mind will go off into space. He hasn't figured out that I am not musically inclined at all.
Playing With Fire
I wrote a poem with that title once before. I can say it was a somewhat good poem, but like most of the poems I wrote in high school, I wrote it for pure enjoyment, not because I wanted to make it the best poem ever. The poems I'm writing now are still for my own personal enjoyment, but they're also written to win contests and get into literary publications. I do kind of have to make them better - or at least as good as I can. I remember "Playing With Fire" being one of my better ones.
Please let me get accepted into State! Please, admissions counselors! I'll get down on my knees and beg! I need to go to this college - it's got the best physics curriculum anywhere! I've done my athletics, I've done so many extracurricular activities, I've done plenty of AP science classes in high school... just give me this chance and I'll prove myself to be a great student! I won't get drunk and party all night like most freshmen! I'll chain myself to my desk until I get my work done and done well! I promise - just please accept me!
Please Donít Abandon Me (Stelle)
He asked her not to abandon him. And she didn't. It was the most romantic thing I had ever heard; the boy lying on the ground in the throes of death, while the young girl sat beside him, there for him in his last moments. She never let him go. After he died, he stayed in her thoughts forever, and then she finally grew up and gave him what she had been keeping for him all those years. But then she turned away. And he was left waiting, waiting for who knew how long.
Please Forget About Me
Sometimes, I wish my ex would forget I ever existed. He keeps stringing me along, in hopes that I will be silly enough to go back out with him. He tries so hard, but he will fail in the end. I mean, I'd like to give him another chance, but I know he will only mess up again. Or I will fall back into old habits. My parents would have a fit if I dated him again, too, so why should I raise their blood pressures? I just want him to forget I was in his life.
I have a good idea for a poem, even if the idea is somewhat nerdy. I thought about putting all the titles of William Faulkner's novels into a poem - or at least all the novels I've studied in class this semester, which is eight of them. I'm running out of poem ideas. If anyone would like to inspire me (and not with pornography) they can email me! I'm always looking for new inspiration, since I made it my goal to write one poem a day for the rest of my life. For any fellow poets at 100Words... you are awesome!
That reminded me of a song I need to listen to more often, "Poison" by Alice Cooper. Love is like a poison. I was walking past this couple the other day and the look in their eyes was a look dazed with the love's poison. I hate how fake people act when they fall in love with someone. It's something my psychology teacher calls "autistic friendliness". It's when you hold back your true preferences to try and be nice to or impress the person you really like. It's dangerous. Autistic friendliness "will come back and bite you in the ass."
Poisoned By You (Orrin)
I don't recall ever having been poisoned. I don't think it would be a very pleasant experience, unless it was a love potion like in Harry Potter or something. Even then, I don't think it would be nice. I wouldn't want to fall in love with someone I hated or someone I was related to... like my brother! Everyone says we look so much alike... I don't see it. We have the same color hair, that's all. But they pick up on subtle differences. Supposedly we have the same chin or something. Who looks that closely?
I have to work with a bunch of people who try to be pompous, and half the time, it's funny because they absolutely are nothing to brag about. They're just pretending to be big shots because they don't want to admit how far down they really are. I try my best not to be. I keep my head down at work. I don't get involved in the silly drama. I don't go to the office parties. It's because I don't want to spend time with them. I don't want to know their lives that closely. I don't care.
Popcorn's good. I mean, you can't go wrong. I miss the old days, when my parents were still together, when me and my brother and sister would sit in front of the TV and our parents would pop the corn for us and it would be like a family thing, you know? But something screwy happened and nothing will ever be that way again. I miss my mom and dad - how they used to be. That's something that will never get out of my head. Something I can't live down. There are some things you can't get over.
I remember being a rambunctious little kid and playing around in my grandma's house. I had so much pent up energy, I was just running around screaming my head off. It was a rainy, cold day and I could not go outside. I think I eventually smashed into an end table and broke this porcelain figurine of Santa Claus (it was a few days before Christmas). I was so worried that Santa would not get me anything for Christmas because I destroyed him or something. I started crying, but my grandmother comforted me - she wasn't mad at all.
Portraits of Villainy (Sydney)
Villainy... I'm so pissed at Rachel right now! The stupid bitch... she knew I had a crush on Peter! She knew it! So why does she have to get a crush on him, too? I mean, I know the guy is hot as hell and everything, but really? The same crush as me? Come on! Rachel was dating Andrew and I can see why she broke up with him - he's lame as hell - but really? To crush on the same guy as me! Lame, Rachel! I know you better than that! You're not a bitch. Really.
Power of Hope (Stanley)
I know she's not my kid, but I worry about Maxine. She's always off doing something irresponsible and silly. I know she'll grow up. All kids do, but it seems to be taking Maxine a little bit longer than normal. I thought girls were more mature than boys... but she seems to act half her age a lot of the time. My other stepdaughter, Carmen, acts more mature than her, but Carmen is off in her own little world pretty often. It's going to take much more than the power of hope to raise those girls.
I don't practice. I don't have the patience for it. Leah practices all she wants. She's the golden girl of the family. She never has to do any chores or anything. She's always out doing something with the band. I'm stuck here cleaning up after Cody and Simon. Sarah is always at work. Mom is always pissed. She comes home and drinks and there's nothing I can say or do to make her feel better or worse. Everything falls on me. I am the unofficial woman of the house. Fuck you, dad. Why did you leave me this?
I am bisexual, but I think I prefer girls.† All the girls I have met have been more considerate and understanding than the guys I've met. I hope they (the guys) realize that. I'm pretty sure that chivalry is truly dead. I don't think it will ever come back. The world is different now and I'm torn between whether or not I prefer it the old way or the new way. I like the technology, but there's not much else. It feels like the world is more corrupted now, maybe because of all these new technological breakthroughs.
Precious Treasure (Baal-tamar)
My precious treasure is my kingdom, my subjects. I would be powerless without them. I value them, but still I treat them as objects of little value. If I boost their egos, they will only grow lazy and cease to follow my orders. They may even rebel against me if I do such a thing. They are my faithful servants, they are powerful, strong, and cunning. Maybe even brave. I treat them like dirt so they strive even harder for my favor. I would hate to be them. I do not envy them. They are mine.
I hate pretenders, posers, and fakes. Sometimes Leah can be that way, but it's only because she wants to impress someone in the band. I don't know why she bothers. She can't impress anyone. She doesn't impress me - not with her whining. She tries so hard, but she just can't be good. I don't bother encouraging her. I know I'm her friend and I'm supposed to, but encouraging Leah will just break her heart in the end. She'll realize she can't do it and she'll get more upset. So I break it to her before she bothers trying.
Pretty Little Flower (J.C.)
Wow... I can't write about that. I'm not gay... no, I'm kidding. It reminds me of my cousin. She is only five years old, but she's already as pretty as a flower. I can tell that when she grows up, she'll bloom into a fine woman and then it'll be my† job to protect her, if I'm not a professional paintballer by then. My cousin loves flowers; she always giving them to me and my mom and my aunt, even my uncle and father. I hate that one day she will lose her innocence.
Pretty Princess (Megan)
I used to pretend I was a princess all the time when I was small. I'd drag out all my mom's old prom dresses and get her to put makeup on me, then I'd prance around the house holding a giant stick that I labeled my "royal scepter". When I'd get done prancing, I'd lie down in bed and pretend I was Sleeping Beauty. It was either my father or my dog who would kiss me awake, though. And even now, at the age of 14, I have not found my prince. He'll come one day, though.
I am known throughout the student body and that is priceless to me. I look upon my fellow students and am proud to guide them. I am proud to be the voice for every one of them and am glad I can lend my talents to making a better college experience for each of them. Contrary to popular belief, I did not run for student government just to have something to put in my resume; I ran to represent my peers. I ran to get my views out there and I ran to get others' views out there.
They say pride goeth before a fall. I believe in that. I've wanted to become a preacher in a Christian church before my sons were born. When I was in college, I was a youth minister in my spare time. I fell in love with Emily then and temporarily gave up my dream of preaching in order to become a cartographer and raise my boys. Now that they're growing up, I'm thinking of becoming a preacher again. I think that with what I've learned from life, I should be able to inspire at least some people out there.
That's a scary place, man. If my ass got landed in prison, I'd probably kill myself with bits of string or something, especially if I was in solitary confinement. I'd hate to be away from people. I understand that some people get in prison on purpose, just to get a free meal or some shelter. That's crazy, dude. I'd never do it. I'd be homeless for my entire life rather than subject myself to the crap that goes on inside a prison. Some of my friends have been there - and from what they've seen, it's not pretty, man.
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