01/01 Direct Link
Today is just another day as drunks sleep their drunkenness off and then wake up wondering what happened.

New Year's Eve just before midnight is always exciting at first until the fireworks stop popping and when the party is all over.

We have so many calendars in the world to where in just one more month from now it will be Chinese New Year's, another celebration but on a different day.

You might begin to ask what difference does it make.

It really does not when a day is just a day and a night is just another cold night.
01/02 Direct Link
One good thing about increasing your vocabulary is not about being smart or about being able to impress your friends.

Increasing your vocabulary helps you to be more creative in the way and the manner that you speak and the manner in which you communicate.

On a much higher level, learning several foreign languages increases your ability to communicate ten fold.

Meditation is the perfect tool for hacking the disillusioned and uninformed delusional mind.

Being a man is about being able to control and direct yourself in the direction that you desire.

Being a Man means being the Ultimate Mind.
01/03 Direct Link
Once I got home I realized that I forgot the cucumber but was content with the romaine lettuce, red leaf lettuce, raisins, alfalfa sprouts, and Italian dressing.

I started to cut up the vegetables for the bean soup, tidy up the kitchen a bit, handle some recycle, and look at the bathroom sink in total disgust.

What am I waiting for, to see how long she can tolerate seeing something like that?

It seems to be obvious that she does not mind at all and that more than anything else, expects me to be the one to clean it up.
01/04 Direct Link
What do I write about I asked myself as I had no material to write from nor did I have any notes and for the most part all I had watched for the entire day were MGTOW compilation videos and several ones on comedy.

Among other things that I did included catching up with my December one hundred word entries from my one thousand word daily journal, and being lazy.

Watching the MGTOW videos that I did was just a brief reminder as to how women really were and to always remember to keep my guards up in the relationship.
01/05 Direct Link
How could I not have something to write about?

Was my mind that blank that I couldn't think of anything at all?

I guarantee you that if you would have meditated, you would have had plenty of things to write about.

Why was it important that I have something to write about?

It was important because one of my daily goals was to be writing at least one thousand words per day and from the word count that I see I'm only meeting only the bare minimum of seven hundred fifty words instead and a few hundred shy of 1000.
01/06 Direct Link
As I stepped out of the shadow of darkness into a lighter side that was still somewhat dim but enough to see and to know that it was daytime; I could see how I could be a monster.

Perhaps my ideas in thinking this way was based off of watching Wolverine movies.

I could see how I could be Wolverine in the sense of having that raw animal power.

I wished to be like a super hero when I was a child and would imagine the powers that I had when I would walk into an appliance or lumber store.
01/07 Direct Link
Happiness was found in the fact that only I could create my own happiness and my own fun and that in order to have it I didn't need to have a woman next to me, nor did I have to have people around me at all.

I started to think of the presence again and the purpose behind the practice while knowing all along who the presence is.

I wanted to look at an upside down world map.

There is said to be an earthquake in Puerto Rico, Australia is burning like crazy, and now there is rumors of war.
01/08 Direct Link
I laid on the bed and looked at my feet and imagined with my visual mind that my feet were the bones beneath the skin, the flesh, and muscle tissues.

I imagined myself as just being that skeleton I would be destined to be and then I imagined that my bones became dust and was blown away by the wind or at least became a part of the earth.

While it is practical to fear death because it is believed that once you die then that is it; even if that was true, what were you before you were born?
01/09 Direct Link
You can choose to do anything that you desire, just don't go back to sleep or snooze.

Being the stillness,
cracks in my bones,
grumbling stomach... were my notes written in my notepad and after seeing the combination of words, I realized how this could be turned into a Haiku which led me to think about doing a daily Haiku based on the Haiku rules in place of writing one poem a day but remembering that as a poet, you cannot be restricted to style and free to create and place the words in any order that you see fit.
01/10 Direct Link
I spent a considerable amount of time watching videos on people who had chose to live underground beneath the city which led me to watching videos of paranormal events in different regions of the Earth which included mountains, deserts, and some caves.

After watching all of the videos it really changed my perspective on how I look at things and how you can't just dismiss a myth to be a myth or a legend to be just a legend without thinking that perhaps they are actually true in real life.

Perhaps there was monsters here before us, and superheroes too.
01/11 Direct Link
As I made order out of chaos inside of my room, I came across my magnifying glass sitting on the bed.

Magnifying glasses are good for magnifying and examining things up close; like insects,quartz crystals, fingerprints, and caterpillars.

'I need my own examination,' I said to myself. I call it self examination, where I get to see through all of the bullshit, through all of the lies, the fantasies, and make believe stories.

I need a self examination based on my needs, my dreams, my wants, and not the ones that society prescribes for me in a small box.
01/12 Direct Link
The downside of masturbation begins with it requiring you to take a shower, and even if it does not require you to take a shower you still have to wipe and wash your hands before meddling around with any other things.

Once you have oils all over your hands, it is not feasible to be typing on your keyboard while they are still oily.

The other downside is that you tend to get lazy when it is time for prayers.

In all truth, it probably is best to take a shower after masturbating to begin with to be completely clean.
01/13 Direct Link
Thought I'd look at some pointers on the middle game in chess but realized I needed to go back to openings.

When I saw the opening moves I grasped the reasoning as it was explained.

I need to read more Chess beginner material seeing that I am losing against chess players with higher chess scores than me.

Deep within man dwell those slumbering powers; powers that would astonish him,
that he never dreamed of possessing;
forces that would revolutionize his life
if aroused and put into action. -Orlson Swett Marden

I found this quote inside of Awaken The Giant Within.
01/14 Direct Link
I am starting to feel the soreness throughout my body from my recent workouts.

While at the job I had worked on my legs and had did some shoulder presses. I can really feel it in my shoulders and somewhat in my legs from doing leg presses, sit down leg curls, and leg extensions. I also worked on my stomach with the abdominal crunch machine. I felt that I probably could have got better results from doing traditional sit ups or doing knee tucks.

On my day off I hope to do some additional leg workouts and maybe some skateboarding.
01/15 Direct Link
One thing that I need to stop doing is saving my writing to be completed at the job, especially when my 750 word count is not completed.

I'm trying to regain my Phoenix status but my aim is for Pterodactyl status, which is seven hundred fifty words per day for two hundred days.

The chemistry levels that I am referring refers to the chemistry of human beings and to nature and not the chemistry that happens inside of a lab.

I would almost say chemistry is psychic in nature, but a lot has to do with you trusting in yourself.
01/16 Direct Link
Welcome to my world of loneliness and desperation I told myself.

It was a concept that I was contemplating as a sort of dialogue for a story as I was describing to someone what my life was like.

Among other thoughts that came to my mind was to start drawing again.

What should I draw keeps coming to mind but the answer should be rather simple.

Just draw anything I say, but I find myself wanting specifics so that I can be more focused.

It does not have to be a rocket science discussion to decide on what to draw.
01/17 Direct Link
Children love toys. I know I did when I was a young boy.

Looking back on those days I ask what is it about getting a toy, the toy bringing so much joy to me, and what made me eventually not care about it anymore?

I remember the kids faces on the commercials who looked so excited with that special toy which gave the impression to many other kids that if you get this toy, this is how excited you will be and if you want heavenly bliss ask your mom and dad to buy the whole collection for Christmas.
01/18 Direct Link
Before I completed cooking the chili, I found myself cooking in the complete nude, while completely alone, feeling comfortable about my nakedness. It was just me, the knives, the vegetables, and the recipe.

Being alone like this feels so peaceful and blissful to where I can walk around naked and not care if someone is going to come through the door, out of their room, or out of the restroom.

It almost feels like freedom to be able to not be disturbed by anyone, sleep how you want with the door open if you choose, or walk into any room.
01/19 Direct Link
Human suggests that as men we should consider asking our women to do stuff for us in the same way that they tend to ask us to do things for them.

Women's lists can be endless.

He asked a very simple question as to what happens when a man asks a woman to do something for him.

Does she make up various excuses as to why she can't do it?

Does she ask you why should she do it?

If that's the case, then this is the point that you should realize how women can be very selfish and hypocritical.
01/20 Direct Link
In the past it was always about, how can I please her, how can I make her happy, what can I do to make her fall in love with me?

Speaking from Human's perspective I ask the question as to rather or not she thinks in the same manner as to how can she please us.

Which is why it's time for you to start thinking more selfishly and asking the questions as to what can she do for me to make me happy, what can she do to please me, what can she do to make me love her.
01/21 Direct Link
Personally I have to admit that there was times that I thought someone was here when they were not and there was times that I had even went outside of my room to investigate on rather or not someone was indeed here. There was also other times where I had thought I saw something pass by.

Later on I would have to learn how to distinguish between the noise upstairs, because sometimes they can be kind of loud.

Loud as in slamming doors sometimes, big foot footsteps on the floor, and occasional sounds of furniture or weights being moved around.
01/22 Direct Link
I was a very ignorant man during my two deceased marriages, and if I knew what I know now, then we would have been playing a completely different ballgame.

You might think, I'm just saying this now, but I can honestly say that I didn't know a quarter of what I know today.

I was just another drop in the ocean and had no ideal what I was getting into with my marriages.

I say I don't want a relationship unless it's with the right woman, but fail to realize there's no such thing as unicorns or the right woman.
01/23 Direct Link
I am still feeling the sting of knowledge that I ingested about the limitlessness of our knowledge and how we don't know all of the mysteries in the universe or even within our own bodies.

As I write about this subject now, perhaps it is not just an affirmation to say that everything is mysterious and mystical.

I recall the time that I had those feelings of being watched outside of God watching me or the angels.

It is stated that the jinn can see us too, and that they can see us from places where we cannot see them.
01/24 Direct Link
As I read more on the subject of the evil jinn and how they divide people against each other and cause divorces as one of their specialties, it was stated that one of the symptoms of jinn possession is wanting to be alone a lot.

I must say I did not necessarily agree to it, especially if that person has always been known to be by themselves and content about it.

Not much is said about introverts until recently for some more money making bucks probably, but nevertheless, people who prefer to be by themselves do exist in this world.
01/25 Direct Link
I had watched more of Big Mouth and must admit that some parts were lame and I think they could of done without the gay character and the lesbian mom who dissed the little girls dad.

Of course there is more meaningful things that I could have done today but I did not feel like doing anything and treated this day like another lazy day like I normally do on days that I have to go back to the job.

I never did go outdoors today despite me running out of grapefruit juice and decided to drink plain water instead.
01/26 Direct Link
Emotional intelligence is not to be frowned upon. Being in tuned with emotions, including your own are what eventually lead to intuition.

To say fuck feelings and fuck emotions does not mean that you have to talk super loud to a person and yell at them in the ears unless you are trying to induce fear into them.

You don't need a megaphone and a speaker to get your point across neither.

What's important is that when you talk to whoever or whatever person it is that you're talking to, that they are paying attention to what you are saying.
01/27 Direct Link
Today's lecture talked about how women are supposed to submit and obey their man and by doing so they are being in accord with their nature which enables themselves to grow and evolve.

When they go against the principles in which they were made then they become miserable and start taking all kinds of depression pills.

One point mentioned in reference to the woman is that in order for her to be able to submit would require her to kill her ego.

A woman's biggest fears is giving up control to the man in the relationship and surrendering her ego.
01/28 Direct Link
Puzzle pieces
and traces of
the Eiffel Tower,
inside of a sketch,
inside of a frame,
the mystery
and the unknown

Part of the reason behind me choosing to trace these puzzle pieces was to eventually lead to me working on some abstract art, with pencils and color pencils at first, maybe some chalk, and pastels, and then the master pieces begin with water colors, acrylics, and maybe some oils.

At the end of the day, as far as sex and sex vibrations are concerned. love is a part of it, as well as the various dimensions of love.
01/29 Direct Link
I love learning new words, especially words I never knew the definition to, which probably explains why I find joy in learning foreign languages so much.

Perhaps you could be a good code cracker or a code maker up inside of the matriarchal Matrix.

The new word I learned today is Clementine. Believe it or not, it is basically a sweet orange mixed with a willow leaf mandarin orange mixed with a sweet orange.

Besides knowing names, perhaps you would want to know the name and the image as well.

In this case what does a willow leaf look like?
01/30 Direct Link
In the Loud Mouth scene they show the pussy as an individual who talks, has legs, and arms, and facial expressions.

It's very satirical of course, but it's just about the same when people say things like, 'if pussy could talk it would say this, or if penises were dudes they would be like this.

I guess the thought came to me while I was reading the passages about pussy, or maybe observing an actual pussy based on its anatomical structure.

There's the clitoral hood, the clitoris, the labia majora, labia minora, urethra, the vagina, and what is the perineum?
01/31 Direct Link
One thing that I didn't include in my discussion was the perineum because I did not know what in the world a perineum was.

At first I thought it was another hole that a woman had but she only has the anus, urethra; which is where a woman pees from, and her vagina hole.

Why did I think the perineum had a hole in it?

It was based on the diagram which was designed to point out the area where the perineum is, which is the area between the anus and the genitals of a woman in the perfect pose.