05/01 Direct Link
I would like to show my gratitude today to Allah and thank Him for guiding me throughout the day, confronting my fears, fighting my sleep, being able to make it back home again, to be thankful for the roof over my head, the warmth inside of this abode which I prefer over a cardboard box any day.

Don't stop reciting the Wadoods and completing another ten thousand dhikhrullahs, along with a few others that you have been contemplating on.

Consider and be sure that you know and have memorized the ninety nine names of Allah by heart and their meanings.
05/02 Direct Link
“Oh baby can you please loan me one billion dollars, I promise to be good and true to you.’’

“Me loaning you one billion dollars is not going to really change anything at all because you will take my money and run off with it.''

“That's not true baby, she sobbed, I would never do anything like that.”

The red pilled man smiled and said “sure sugar plum,” in a deliberate facetious way, “you would never do anything like that.”

After being burned so many times by women in the past, this time he knew to never trust women again.
05/03 Direct Link
If she could call herself a Queen and not be married, I was definitely going to crown myself as King and let her know who the real royalty was.

A lot of people have the idea of what a king is and automatically thinks that he has a castle somewhere up in the mountains living with a tribe of people.

In order to be a King, you have to be a King in your mind before you can be a King of anything else in this world.

It starts with simple awareness and then it develops and spreads from there.
05/04 Direct Link
I had come across a level of love and understanding that made me realize what the Buddha was talking about in his teachings regarding unconditional love.

It was in my beliefs that the root of being love or even showing love began with yourself so that you had to see it in every aspect of yourself, from your eyebrows, down to your fingertips, your eyes, and the veins flowing through your skin.

This love is not talking about being a coward nor is it telling you to except brutal punishment without defending yourself.

The power of love is often underestimated.
05/05 Direct Link
I tried to relax in the silence but couldn’t help but to hear some guy rant about some kind of philosophy and wondered like other Philosophers if I had understood anything that he had said.

The answer to that question was an absolute no, as it sounded more like mumbling more than anything else.

Later I came to the conclusion that every man is his own Philosopher or should at least strive to be his own Philosopher, which means you don’t watch television and believe everything that you read and everything you see.

It means thinking outside of the box.
05/06 Direct Link
I had a dream about Brother Sabir and I was on some kind of MRT train. I think it was Singapore because I remember telling him about a coffee shop on the concourse level and how it was reasonably priced in Singapore dollars and how he could go straight to Jumuah after that. He stated that we were rich with our currency.

In another dream I saw some woman walking towards me. It looked like her entire face was covered with hair. As she got closer I realized it was an Indian woman with a black cloth on her face.
05/07 Direct Link
Do you know what being a select man means?

In my opinion the select man was the man that women were more than likely to approach without that man trying to approach them. It was the fasting man, the meditative and mystical man, or the busy man or the man who was far too busy to be thinking about them and was content about it.

Seeing that the weather is warming up, I thought about purchasing a casual zip up sweater so that I do not have to wear my heavy coat, especially seeing how the weather is warming up.
05/08 Direct Link
Before I reached home I checked the mailbox to find that I had mail from the Shariah Courts.

After looking at the letter, it looks like it is going to probably be the final process of the finalization of our divorce.

The big question that I need to ask myself now is should I go or should I stay.

If I go, it means that I will have to change my vacation plans and create another financial burden.

If I stay it will more than likely mean that the divorce will proceed regardless to if I am there or not.
05/09 Direct Link
I came across this website called Bible Reasons which talked about evil women. I was looking for a verse that Templar had mentioned. It was a verse that said if a man was married that he should not seek to get rid of his wife and if he was not married he should not seek for a wife but seek to please God because when you are married you seek to please your wife. It was a scripture worth thinking about. I found it in I Corinthians.

Focus on affirmations that empower you, focus on prayers, self improvement, and manhood.
05/10 Direct Link
I went to Walgreens before going to Staples because I wanted to know if I could find a shoe brush.

The cashier showed me where it was and started talking to me as though she had already knew me.

“I was going to tell you something but I cannot remember,” she said.

She started talking about how there was a fire in her apartment building, flashing lights, and other small details.

I think that conversation came about because I was buying a lighter, but it was the way that she was open with me that somewhat surprised me a bit.
05/11 Direct Link
When I was coming back home, I saw one of the drivers who was present at the incident the other day where a man had collapsed on the ground and never moved after that.

I am almost certain that this man more than likely died.

Once again I found myself being reminded about death and how it was inevitable for everyone, including myself and how taking death as an ally is mainly about facing the facts that death is inevitable.

Death does not discriminate.

It takes the young and the old and sometimes it comes when you least expect it.
05/12 Direct Link
While at work, I was not expecting to see all kinds of women dressed up like desperate sluts and whores.

These types of women always remind me of the kind of woman that I would not want in my life.

Some qualities that were definitely deal breakers included; a woman who smokes cigarettes, a woman who dresses immodest in public, a non-spiritual or non-religious woman, an Amazon type woman who wants to be the boss in the relationship, an ignorant woman, a non-hygienic woman, a woman who wears way too much fake up, and a crazy woman like my ex.
05/13 Direct Link
While at work I managed to listen to The Thinking Man's Templar lecture entitled ‘The Dark Secret Reality Of Her Sexuality.’

After listening to that lecture I realized how I should read and listen to more material about how women really are based on their nature.

After listening to the lecture it made me want to run towards the mountains and seek the life of being a monk and to embrace the life of a Brahmachari.

You might also want to read the Hadiths about women as well to help you along this road because it is full of wisdom.
05/14 Direct Link
I decided to look up money as being energy and was listening to this one video where it stated that everything was energy when you break everything down to its essence.

Seeing everything as energy was stated to be one of the laws of attraction.

I had decided to look up psychic energy and how to be psychic which took me to a completely different level of thinking in reference to energy.

You cannot look at things as they appear to the naked eye; see things as they really are when you break it down to its minutest atomic form.
05/15 Direct Link
This morning I was glad to get off of work on time and get home on my normal scheduled hours.

Throughout the night I was listening to more of Warren B and some Black Ram lectures.

I have not listened to Black Ram in quite some time, but some of the key words that sparked my inner soul was on being unapologetically masculine, and in general just being a man without giving a fuck what anyone says or feels about it.

Currently I plan to relisten to The Uncompromising Principles Of Manhood because I basically fell asleep from the nightshift.
05/16 Direct Link
I am coming back to noticing details in my immediate environment as a subject because it is not something that I am doing on a consistent basis.

Noticing the small details in my environment also helps to contribute to gaining my mystical powers back.

I want to speak briefly on detachment and non-attachment. It is in my opinion that in order to reach non-attachment, you have to know how to detach first.

Learn how to take your sweet time in order to regain your Turtle Mystic Powers. I said this while at the library where I read my April journal.
05/17 Direct Link
Today is our 16th Anniversary and despite her being 9,074 miles away across the Pacific Ocean I say that there's still hope that we could reconcile our marriage and work things out because our divorce is not finalized.

While it's good to keep a positive mindset, I still have to remember that women do not love in the same manner that a man loves.

When you realize the fact that 80% of all divorces are initiated by women, that should speak volumes.

After all of that is done, women have the audacity to ask 'where have all the men gone.'
05/18 Direct Link
I was reflecting over my depressed and sad feeling which I traced back to how I was feeling about the facts regarding my marriage and how I'm not in a very receptive and accepting spirit of it possibly leading to a divorce.

A lot of people would probably say just let it go and accept the fact that things didn't work out.

The question that I ask is 'how do you let something go after being involved with it for sixteen years?'

How do you let sixteen years go down the drain and pretend and forget that it ever happened?
05/19 Direct Link
Later in the evening I had watched a few videos on Robert Greene's books on Mastery and the 50th Law.

The 50th Law talked about 50 Cent the rapper and how he had overcome all odds while living in a rough poverty stricken neighborhood.

It talked about fearlessness and how we should face our fears which reminds me of the one book that says ‘see the fear and face it anyways.’

When you really look at fear, it is one of the main concepts that holds us back in life to what we could possibly really be in our lives.
05/20 Direct Link
I recall a statement that I once heard that says, 'knowing that you will die makes you realize that you have nothing to lose.'

When I heard that statement it really took a lot of stress off of my mind and off of my heart because I knew this statement was true.

The statement also made me recall the statement made by the Yaqui Indian Don Juan who suggests that we take death as an ally in our day to day life.

Too often we think that we will live forever and don't think about death until it comes suddenly.
05/21 Direct Link
I sat to meditate and initially told myself to focus on just emptying the mind but then another voice said don't try to do anything at all.

In other words, just sit and meditate and that’s it.

Breathe in, breathe out.

As I sat I simply became aware of as much as I could be aware of, rather if it was the cars passing by outside of the window, my breathing, down to the sensations in my body.

I told myself not to identify with anything, not even my thoughts, or those internal dialogue conversations going on in my mind.
05/22 Direct Link
What are the powers of the Mystic?

The powers of the mystic were those aspects that contribute to the Mystic being a Mystic and were something that I had also considered to be tools besides just powers.

I wanted to add these to my Mystic book that I have.

Some of these included observance of the silence, self control, self awareness, calmness of mind and body, discipline, will power, self restraint, non attachment, inward gazing or inward focus, mindfulness of the senses such as hearing, feeling, taste, meditation, fasting, and exercising are just some that I can think of now.
05/23 Direct Link
What is the oath that is taken by a doctor before they begin their practice of medicine?

Among other things that you might be interested in is reading or learning about Hippocrates, said to be the father of medicine.

After looking up on rather or not Hippocrates was the father of medicine I later learned that there was a man before Hippocrates known as Imhotep who is said to be the father of medicine which made me wonder on the possibility of Black history being white washed.

Is there any wonder as to why Hippocrates sounds so much like hypocrite?
05/24 Direct Link
“A woman needs a man more than a fish needs water,” should be the correct saying versus saying “a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle,” like the mislead feminists say.

Finally, I was back at the coliseum with not much choice of seating to choose from besides the seating that was on the higher step levels. Luckily they had screens to look at.

The graduation ceremony took forever as they called each name of all of the graduates.

Some of the seniors had to add their own little personalities in the graduation and their little dances.
05/25 Direct Link
Avenger's Endgame was more of a metaphysical movie if you ask me.

My favorite part is when all of the superheroes that were vanished by Thanos came back from various portals in time to fight him and his army that he had, which he had planned to destroy and consume the Earth with.

His plan was to turn everything into a single atom and then to start a new universe from scratch all over again.

He was doing nothing more than trying to be God, but in a somewhat devious way as he had no love or compassion for life.
05/26 Direct Link
I wanted to write about how women can be a distraction on the path in the waking life, in your mind, and your thoughts.

Notice how women dress in tight revealing clothing, for attention purposes because perhaps that’s all they feel they have in order to get some kind of attention.

Then they have the audacity to act offended when you’re checking them out.

They get offended and pretend like they are not on that level when the truth of the matter is that they are because if they were not they would not dress like that to begin with.
05/27 Direct Link
What and how do you go about stopping time?

I think part of it has to do with you stopping the internal dialogue going on in your mind.

I would like to briefly state that the concept of the many gods in Hinduism does not negate the fact that at the end of the story there is always one supreme deity that is normally believed in over all of the others.

If I’m not mistaken according to the Vedas, that Supreme Deity would be Brahma.

I might be wrong with what I am saying but that is what I recall.
05/28 Direct Link
While I was doing my prayers I had come back to the mindset of having and incorporating true presence during salat.

I noticed how certain thoughts tend to surface during my prayers and also in my meditation.

Upon realizing this I soon realized how it is important to always be aware and conscious of our thoughts because some of these thoughts are subtle in nature and sometimes they are thoughts that could possibly lead to the haram.

The most powerful moment you can experience is the now. There is nothing outside of that of which you can control or alter.
05/29 Direct Link
I was thinking about how God is fearless and doesn’t fear anything but everything fears Him except for the ignorant who think they can actually win in a battle with the God.

When I thought about the fearlessness of God I wondered what it would be like to take on that aspect of his fearlessness within myself.

Today I was introduced to the God Pill which in my opinion was one step higher to taking the red pill.

Taking the God Pill gives me a completely different mindset.

In order to be God you need to start thinking like God.
05/30 Direct Link
Dali 1 Crystal Moon of Cooperation

13:12 Currently at the Virginia Branch Library. I do not have a whole lot to write about now.

I finally found that book that I have been telling you about regarding prayers.

I have finished listening to the fornication article by Black Ram of which I will probably listen to it again. It was interesting to learn how some of the things said about fornication were based on European thought versus what the Bible really said. Did you know that if your wife leaves you for no reason that she has broken the law?
05/31 Direct Link
I saw this Bible verse in I Corinthians 7:39 that says ‘A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives.’

Then while at the library I came across this quote that said:

‘Sometimes, it's better to just move on instead of being the only one who's willing to fix things.’

I figured why try and hope so much when it is obvious that the other person is not willing to budge even just a little, and their actions showed that they could really care less.’

Later the book Cosmological Koans called out to me at the library.