05/01 Direct Link
In one of the BDSM books that I read, I liked how it said that one of the prerequisites of BDSM is in being honest and truthful with each other.

Reminds me of a passage that says, ďspeak the truth regardless of circumstances.Ē

I honestly believe that living a life of truth and honesty does open up many doors and possibilities for you.

Stick to your word, say what you want to do, and then do it.

Don't make any promises.

Watch the words that come out of your mouth as well as the words that come out of theirs.
05/02 Direct Link
You start living when you stop being afraid.

If you study fear you will notice that fear normally deals with some future event, or with something that deals with the unknown, or something that deals with uncertainty.

When we stop thinking so much about the future and deal with the now, then life becomes more peaceful.

While the goal is to complete the routines, the purpose of working out is not to hurry up and get through the routines. The real focus should be on the muscle that you are exercising, strengthening, and developing.

Thatís the real purpose of weightlifting.
05/03 Direct Link
My obnoxious ex had called me and left her message with a somewhat hostile demanding racing voice. Where before I would of got worked up about the message now I was finding myself extremely calm about it and not even letting her messages phase me to the least.

When I contemplated on this mindset that is when I fully understood the Yoga poise of mind which is left undisturbed.

The Yoga state of mind in its full poise is undisturbed by anything, even the loud stomping motherfuckers above you and the fuck face bastards hammering their hammer in the hallway.
05/04 Direct Link
I was thinking about the words that we use while in the bedroom and everything that dealt with the bedroom and then to take all of those words, put them together and then translate them into the desired foreign language you wish to speak.

Intimacy is about taking risks with the ones you love and with what you feel is the right thing to do.

When you are being open, it should be done without fear.

Goals are not about completing as many goals as possible, but to complete those important goals that will make an impact for your day.
05/05 Direct Link
I did a rope assessment today and starting to get an idea as to how much rope I need in some of the bondage styles I would like.

When it comes to the bondage sessions involving the knots and the positions, be sure that you are specific about the various positions that you want to try.

Question: What is Macramť?

Answer: From what I have read, Macramť is a form of textile making that uses knotting as opposed to weaving or knitting.

I guess that pretty much explains the beautiful and intrinsic designs that you can find in Shibari bondage.
05/06 Direct Link
I had the idea to use a blowup doll for Shibari practice since it was a whole lot cheaper than a mannequin, but after seeing some of the prices of the realistic blow up dolls I started to think that I was better off getting a mannequin.

I couldnít help but to laugh at the blowup doll that was said to have three holes, and how cartoonish and Betty Boop the face looked. They even have a blowup doll in the doggy style.

If you have to use a blowup doll to get off sexually I feel sorry for you.
05/07 Direct Link
Iím getting home later than usual based on Sundayís schedule today which means that everything comes to a slow pace and letís not forget the fact that we are in a Cinco de Mayo weekend.

I saw the 10 but it didnít stop at the stop that I was at.

The transportation system can be terrible when it comes to informing the public to their stops and where they need to catch the bus when the streets are blocked off and all fucked up.

If I had a car I would not have to worry about all of this bullshit.
05/08 Direct Link
I was thinking to myself as to what the day is today and suddenly came to the conclusion and reasoning as to why it isnít Monday or any other day or even a day.

Go back to the times when there were no calendars and there was no nine to five.

A day was just a day and perhaps it was not called a day.

Hunters didnít look at their watches to decide what time to wake up. Perhaps their alarm clock was the birds chirping or the rising of the sun or any type of sign in the heavens.
05/09 Direct Link
Pay attention to people and studying them, especially those people that you deal with on a consistent basis. I had a new outlook on how I would go about doing things for now on which deals with Don Juanís hunter prey scenario.

I have been thinking of going to some retail stores that have mannequins and see if they plan on throwing any of them away or have any to donate.

I can do some Shibari practice on my feet, legs, and bamboo, but still need something that resembles a person to practice the chest harnesses, gluteus maximus, and crotch.
05/10 Direct Link
I studied some Macramť bondage images and saw some beautiful artistic designs.

I could see that the real art form was not just in the rope but also in the body. Perhaps thatís the part that people miss the most when it comes to learning how to tie the ropes.

It is often also misconstrued to think that rope bondage is about you abusing another person.

I yearn to touch her breast again and to see her truly aroused like a flower in ecstasy, indulging in all the divine rays of the sun, the fresh air, and life in general.
05/11 Direct Link
I want to clean out my entire locker out, and if anyone asks what in the hell I am doing Iíll simply say I am a Minimalist.

Only a Minimalist would know what I was talking about or someone who had read an article about Minimalism or anyone who knew what the word means.

My locker is getting so cluttered with a lot of my clothes from home, my tennis shoes which I need for the gym, piled up paperwork from the job, et cetera.

Whatever you do, just do something.

Make a plan, make a schedule, and be proactive.
05/12 Direct Link
I went to Home Depot to buy more rope and began to wonder if rope is my new addiction, as it appears that I can't stop buying rope as I continue to buy more.

In addition to buying the rope, I bought a multi pack of karabiners and some karabiners that secure via being screwed in.

Today was the first time that I noticed the karabiners were next to the rope.

Besides the rope that I am currently using, Iíd like to try other rope types that arenít found in the hardware store such as jute, hemp, and manila rope.
05/13 Direct Link
I was watching some mountain climbing videos because they had a tutorial on how to tie the figure eight knot used for mountain climbing.

After seeing the number of videos that were available I soon realized that I was better off getting a book about it if I was anywhere near being serious about trying to mountain climb on my own.

I figured out how to tie dragonfly sleeves and why it is called dragonfly sleeves.

I just need to work on trying to keep the ends even so that they are not lopsided towards the end of the rope.
05/14 Direct Link
I have found a way to eliminate the rattling chain noise on the punching bag when it is punched.

I figured this out by holding the chain while I was punching the bag.

I could either cut the chain with some bolt cutters since I already have my desired length for the punching bag or I could simply wrap masking tape around the rattling chains.

Either way I do it, it will definitely cut down on all of the noise that is going on when I punch it.

By doing this all you should hear is a loud thud noise.
05/15 Direct Link
Then there was the heart knot, the coin knot, the triple knot, and even knots to make panties and a bra.

While in your meditation and having the absence of noise which means that you are not talking, the next aspect of focus should be on listening.

What do you hear?

Try to find the silence within the noise.

It can be found.

When you are in your meditation, focus on the third eye to alleviate going into wandering dream states, which are the states where you realize that youíre no longer present, but wandering away from the present moment.
05/16 Direct Link
There is string theory and in my case there is rope theory.

There was elements that were missing in my life and they did not have to be missing because they were at your disposal if you only paid attention and listened to your inner voice.

When was the last time that you wrote down the dream that you had and do you even remember that you are supposed to be dreaming, remembering, and recording.

Have you forgotten that the dream is right here where you are living and it is up to you to make a change about it.
05/17 Direct Link
I was looking up how to tie the French bowline knot because it was in the bondage book and I wanted to see a better demonstration as to how it was tied. In the end, you should end up with two loops in your rope.

While going through that learning process I came across a challenging knot I never knew existed called the monkey fist knot.

I had the thought that once I learned how to tie this knot that I would suddenly have these mysterious and mystical Kung Fu powers of some sort and gain all kinds of wisdom.
05/18 Direct Link
While meditating I told myself It is important to relax the entire body as I took notice of the tenseness in my shoulder area.

I asked myself what was the origins of this stress and thought that perhaps it was stress from my daily interactions of everything that goes on in the world, my job, and thoughts.

Besides meditation my personal answer to alleviating this stress came in the form of weightlifting as I bear witness that lifting weights tends to help me feel more grounded, solid, content, strong, and in attunement with the Earth as well as the Universe.
05/19 Direct Link
How do you get out of bed when you are super tired and don't feel like getting out?

The answer to my question was to simply shift out of your comfortableness.

I saw some firemen later in the night through the bathroom window and thought about how they didnít have a choice on rather or not they wanted to get out of bed.

I thought about how their sleeping patterns get all fucked up and though perhaps they might not like getting out of bed constantly, they probably do not complain much since they know what they signed up for.
05/20 Direct Link
My drive to the airport didnít take long. I didnít see Aini or my son when they came out of the arrival hall.

Kakakís face was streaming with tears. She had a very emotional moment as well as her brother who both had tears coming down their eyes. She did not know that she was going to be seeing her brother and I think I did a good job of keeping it as a nice surprise.

I purchased a nice running carpet before their arrival to give that nice welcome home feeling once they stepped inside of the clean apartment.
05/21 Direct Link
I was completely knocked out after our love session and enjoyed our session inside of the shower where I may have caused her to have some kind of cosmic explosive release.

I was not to thrilled about the fact that I had missed my morning prayers and did not write a single word yesterday in my journal so I have fallen behind once again but find myself rather content that the family is together again.

I brushed off the harassing multiple messages from my ex she left on my answering machine by reminding myself that she was indeed mentally crazy.
05/22 Direct Link
He couldnít find the toy that he was looking for at Target and demanded that I take him to Toys R Us.

I had already told him that we could go on another day but he refused that answer and started to throw some real tantrum fits and saying things like I hate you and I wish you were not alive.

At that moment I would have been more than happy to drop him off in the middle of the desert and leave him there or to simply beat the crap out of him until he had no more consciousness.
05/23 Direct Link
Many times people will say what are you good at meaning what do you do that can make money in the world.

Most people think in the sense of the titles given by a very limited mindset that was to benchmark what success and happiness was.

You can be a manager, but a manager of what?

You can be a supervisor, but what are you supervising?

When people think in this sense theyíre not able to think outside of this social set standard of what can you do means.

What do you love to do outside of earning dollar bills?
05/24 Direct Link
I think I have my Diamond Body Hishi down pat now as I completed one. I bear witness that it can get rather tight in the process.

I practiced on the mannequin which is an excellent practice partner since it never complains about being tied up. If you can get the wrapping process down from the back then you have learned the entire process.

Iím wondering how will I practice the box style ties with the hands behind the back when mannequin arms do not bend at all. I guess thatís where the bendable and flexible mannequins come in handy.
05/25 Direct Link
I have decided to take a vacation from my writing.

Taking a vacation from my writing does not mean that I am not going to write anymore, but it does mean that I will not be making my one thousand daily word quotas.

One of the main reasons why I have decided to postpone my writing for now is to focus on what really matters in my life, which is the family being together temporarily.

I have not seen my wife in ages nor my son and I want to be more present for them without the daily writing struggles.
05/26 Direct Link
Today we cleared out all of the kitchen cabinets together and laid decorative shelving paper on the shelves to replace the newspapers that we had before. We reorganized all of the dishes and the pots and then moved on to the spices and food items, throwing away all of the stale stuff that was no longer edible or desired.

I found enough instant coffee packages in the cabinet to open up my own coffee shop for an entire village.

I personally prefer to drink my coffee from freshly cut coffee beans and preferably from the East Africa or Ethiopian regions.
05/27 Direct Link
The sunset off of our balcony was a beautiful sunset and marks the beginning of the Holy Month of Ramadhan which means no food or drink during the daylight hours and no sex.

While I can endure going over sixteen hours without food and water during the day, not being able to have sex is very challenging, being that my wife is right here right now after not being here for more than a year.

Though sex is not permitted I have reminded myself that I can still practice my Shibari Kinbaku ties to make up for the passionate desires.
05/28 Direct Link
It seems that the tongkat ali coffee did wonders as I felt as though I was not only making love to my woman in our love session but that I was making love to a cosmic ocean as we rocked back and forth like the midnight tides that expand upon the sand.

In this moment, I took time to notice that my blessing was right here next to me as our naked skin touched each other.

I knew this moment wouldnít last forever and cherished every second of it, being cognizant of what was right in front of my eyes.
05/29 Direct Link
Thinking back to the times when I was in the Boy Scouts I recall having an interest in learning how to tie some of the knots that were taught in the Boy Scout handbook but during those times I knew absolutely nothing at all about the monkey fist, hand bondage, the karada hishi diamond pattern, macramť bondage or suspension.

Not knowing anything about this for the majority of my life that Iíve lived makes this whole entire introduction to rope tying seem like a strange yet beautiful world.

I find myself embracing another artform and appreciating every aspect of it.
05/30 Direct Link
Before we would do our Asr prayers together, I would be reminded of death and how death is on a twenty four hour schedule, never rests or takes a break, as she informed me about her auntieís passing.

The one thing about death is that it does not just take human beings but every form of life you can think of, rather it be plants, insects, birds, or animals.

Death takes the young and the old and we would be sadly mistaken to think that death will not take us too on that appointed day when we least expect it.
05/31 Direct Link
It was my first night back to the job since my vacation and I was not impressed about anything. I was encountering the same demolished office from the flood, and the same attitudes from the colleagues.

Later I had a no call no show from one of the colleagues leaving us short staffed. He texted another colleague three hours later in the night stating he was in the hospital and that he had a tube stuck down his throat.

Then we had another call off from one of the staff that was supposed to be at work in the morning.