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BY Jason

03/01 Direct Link
Discontented scatting in the leaky barrel rain evening My first 100 words! Meaninglessness! Meaninglessness! Meaninglessness! Of those who can buy their own food, I am jealous Of those who have rain gear, I am jealous Of those who have owned a cell phone, I am jealous Of those who have driven a car to work I am jealous Always balanced All I have is good health and Desperation All I have is good health and Desperation All ways the balance is zero MY Life is a Fuck and Nothing less MY Life is a Fuck and Never better than that
03/02 Direct Link
I am zzzztt.

closer to zen,

though my poems still

in a rat scatter of loose paper

and the saloon chair

over under the window promotes

chain smoking and

Ugh-nnn healthy posture.

I did manage however

to throw out two furnitures,

took down seven paintings

by my talented wife:

called me last last night

from California,

has been in Africa.

Said she was bored there and

lead me to think

she will soon be my x-wife,

dismantled the fort,

and reset the television

from itís distractingly nonchalant position.

The orchids I got

on Sunday are blooming nicely.
03/03 Direct Link
This morning I found a rash forming on my hands. It's scabes. Parasitic Bitches!
(Since September I have taken to rising early and going on walks). Today I caught sprays of mist against a dull charcoal roof, the water falling was so minute and light it danced and was reluctant to come down.
I have tried having company on my walks before, but I tend to forget to notice things like the rain.
Since September I have been struggling with what I should be calling my wife. I feel utterly suspended and today as if I am about to fall.
03/04 Direct Link
Today at church two of my friends put on a mini-rawk show after worship. They said it was:
Your mom meets
Nickelback meets
(something else?) meets
Blues Traveler meets
the toilet.
It was mostly Kristen screaming and flailing while Kelli strummed furiously on an acoustic. During the song titled "We Melt Faces" Todd put on a woman's sweater off the merch table and started doing ridiculous dance moves in front with them and making intense faces holding two drumsticks up like a crucifix. It was:
Your mom meets
God awful meets
AC/DC meets
Fucking Rawk meets the toilet
03/05 Direct Link
Father I can sense your love surrounding me, preparing my heart to withstand the injury I must soon face.

Oh my love, my God, my friend
Oh my love, my God, my friend
You've forgiven me, and you live in me
and your love is always real

Oh Lord! the healing in your wings
Oh Lord! the healing in your wings
You cover me, you cover me
In all my shame
I only have to say your name

Father your love can't be defined. I can hear your voice calling me home. My heart is being filled with your strength.
03/06 Direct Link
I woke at 3:46a looking into the pattern of the blanket. My mind was blank and my eyes suffered through dim fogginess at black winged demons. Encapsulated by slow-breathing images I saw a world covered in sand and water and great vulturous devils consuming most of the sky. I then saw myself as a minute strand of thread somewhere in the sand.
People predict, and believe the warnings of dreams and waking dreams. I consider this dream a challenge to love others among a world where Death influences self interest over others; these children.
03/07 Direct Link
A quick rundown of my character:
You may not understand my God thing, religion can go to hell. Christ took that all to his grave. When He got up, he left it there. I'm about a spirit of compassion; I'm about believing that other people's breathing and speaking and feeling are just as real and important as my own. Even when I'm not around them. Even when I've never met them. When I woke up this morning God's spirit was sitting there. His love just crippled me. Although I am significant and uniquely beautiful to Him, I also realize that everyone else receives the same fullness of his love
03/08 Direct Link
Boots tick tick tick tick click click tap tap now I'm starting to dance a bit, Hop up there and get the feel of it, With your mits on my hips we can slip slip slip slip and find new grip, girl's got wit that sticks we kiss, it it it is now lip to lip, a quick sip at the bar and back on the floor, the beats soar, crowds wild roars all the more, but I choose to show myself out the door, on the street I dance free on concrete knowing I left her at my peak
03/09 Direct Link
I am breathing well today, living a quality of living You hope for me. Feeling angry with my percieved people's incompetence and ignorance. Watching mothers give their babies McDonald's and candy is one that really sets me off. You want me to not just think differently , but feel differently. How do I love in place of anger. My anger comes from thinking I'm better. I'm always foolishly judging other people by my standard of what I can handle. I'm tired of "looking down my nose".
Whoever I've cheated out of kindness, because you were doing something I wouldn't, I'm sorry
03/10 Direct Link
My bicycle taught me to sing!
It is an electric green Suburban (Schwinn) that has been estimated to be from the mid 80's sometime, but has all it's original bits and works really well! I ride my beautiful bike to work mostly and a third of the 4 mile journey is along a vista where I can yip and growl and gualp as loud as desired. Over the past 18 months of riding I've sang a lot and slowly learned how my voice works to the point of no longer being embarrassed over soloing (happens infrequently thankfully).
Thanks beautiful bicycle!
03/11 Direct Link
Hermanos por la deunde,

Silly Song

Mama,
I wish a were silver.

Son,
You'd be very cold.

Mama,
I wish I were water.

Son,
You'd be very cold.

Mama,
Embroider me on your pillow.

That, yes!
Right away!

Lorca

Where did Papa go after he died Mama?

(We may never see him again...) He gone right up into heaven Baby.

Does he live there Mama?

Baby, you and I gonna live there too someday.

I don't want to go there Mama.

You want stay here on this Eart Baby?

I want Papa to come home.

Finish your supper Baby.

Morce
03/12 Direct Link
I would first like to ask if anyone thinks the word "batch" when referring to their own writing is shit. Sometimes these 100's are a writer's writing breakfast but to put them into an all inclusive breakfast term is, well, asshole. That said, I plan to finish what I started (march) then quit 100 words. I believe in spontaneous spoken word and story telling and song writing and have no reason to put a frame around any of that. I have heard other opinions and it's really cool for some so to them I say "Keep it the fuck up."
03/13 Direct Link
O-O-O-hell-O-o. It embarrassment stick up your gums. so chocolate to be you! in the oven hum. what undone is come run. names ur have burn. scurridge, forridge dge fridge with fingers for porridge. polyp or poop. pure purrrrr. regurgitate guru mathematic stir. attire silk culture conspire to toxin my milk. home come come in. branches of pears tangled in my descend. angle and deepen or sex. ciao ciao ciao ciao caio caoi coia cioa carrot. slow coconut smell with book fringe. kelp. rend help lend toward tend into depend with send in end down meaning
03/14 Direct Link
When I write 100 I feel more like I'm just talking 100 words. Must be pretty boring to read at times. Well f, I guess I could keep going, I don't know, we'll see... Did I complain about the "batch" thing yet? yeah, I'm pretty sure I complained about it sufficiently. Thistley on my brain, batch. I found my batch. When the batch are going to batch off. Sometimes I write my concerns or prayers down, but I only straight complain on 100. Why? Maybe 100 doesn't feed me or provide me with anything. Maybe this is all a chore.
03/15 Direct Link
Empathized with Zissou at 3am.
"Wife on the rocks..."
"It's a little lonely these days..."
Surprisingly, no son came of it. Those mistakes. Presence of loneliness seems semi-common among writers, yet cliche it would be, to have comradery in this. Normally I'm not a "lost ship at sea", in fact I sailed out here with purpose. I didn't think my destination was this far off and the tides have been rougher, however; loving people await me like a line of white lights along the coast and the Living God still navigates me, his hands the stars, his face the sun.
03/16 Direct Link
Sean, how long does it take to go from happy to haggard? You look like a complete moron, have a good one!
I decided to take back all my library books. I got it down to ten. Two plays by Lorca, another of his poetry, one of Vallejo, one of Levi. A big collection of the work of Klimt. Three cookbooks, Gastronomy of Italy is huge, so is Lee Bro's Southern, and another Italian one I just couldn't return because the pictures are so beautiful. Is that ten? Oh yes! Siren Feasts and The Wilder Shores of Gastronomy; short food-stories.
03/17 Direct Link
my head is twirling like a whirly bird stop! It is going to be difficult writing these 100 during school break, I doubt the library stays open but maybe... the orchids have slowed down this week. I hope they are okaydogdogodogodgogdodgodgodgogdgogdoggonnit. I feel like I need a travel soon, adventure, oh yes! I have only been out of the country for one week in the last eighteen months. places... Japan, but first China. How long will that take? 300 days mayber. I have to go to work now and that's too bad because rarely do I get the chance to-
03/18 Direct Link
If I write this one I'll be all caught up but honestly I cant sit in front of a computer for very long. Less than an hour and my eyes start acting wily. I write with pencils and pens, I type on a typewriter from the seventies dammit, (ticka ticka ticka ticka tick-ding erghzzzzzagh). I was re-welcomed to Ink Brethren, I had to stop going because my wife was living at the house we have it in and it would be difficult for everyone there, especially their kids. Plus I was living selfishly as I could back then.
03/19 Direct Link
Went to the laundro'mat today, it was a museum's industrial hall of cylinders, mine spinning. Ceilings were gouged out with mold and steel poles coming through the holes. Fragmented spiders with twenty-odd legs all on one wall. A vending machine with more stillborn cylinders, more damage, the highest priced item is $.50. Corrugated cardboard taped up over holes big enough for children to walk through.
I have a couple of guests!
"Do all these work?"
"Hardly."
Brown florescence, and a garbage bag monster hangs through the framework with it's pregnant belly like the old slag's about to drop a sandbag.
03/20 Direct Link
I took my last final today, I have a project due soon that I haven't started but it's art (my subject, huh-huh). My spanish teacher wrote me an 89%. I'll take it, whether or not I deserve A on my transcript is up to her. I gave 89% effort toward the class and that's within the 80-89% B level. I learned a lot out of that class. As for business, well, I replaced the word with Bitch rather quickly. My grade will likely be A, but my understanding of the subject is arbitrarily in the 50-59% level.
03/21 Direct Link
I balled up wind and tossed it into a hole,
"My dear, build your house here."

"I would never build a house there."

I threw in stones of different sizes,
"My dear, build your house here."

"I couldn't build a house there."

I poured in mud and clay to fill openings,
"My dear, build your house here."

"I shouldn't like to build a house there"

I took the largest drill to it and added raw cement,
With the help of the sun it dried unshakably solid,
"My dear, build your house here."

I don't want to."

"Then I'll do it."
03/22 Direct Link
Well I like this library better but it is hard to be creative while thinking of all the other work I need to accomplish online in this hour..
I looked up the christian bible on the libraries inventory, funny how there are no bibles in libraries. Does that mean the only way to get one is to go to christian (terror) supply stores and pay for one? I looked up bananas. Amazing; Mangos and Bananas, The Cat Who Went Bananas, Beautiful Bananas, Bananas; An American History, Go Bananas!, Yes, we have bananas, Bananas [videorecording], Bananas; chemistry, physiology,technology. I'm hungry!
03/23 Direct Link
gentrification is slavery.
I think those middle-class peoples should know. By the way I'm mostly white but I believe in justifying the crooked neighborhood I'm living in. Anger is starting to seethe and inevitably fear is rising on both sides. It seems like the f'ing 50's. A woman I know from the dirty south and has been told "you got some sista in your woodpile" told me about when Gravy the first white business opened on Mississippi Ave. with menu prices that we're above budget for low income families. Will continue tomorrow..
03/24 Direct Link
Her family went there to eat and three black kids walking by, looked in, then one spat on the window. Everyone stared as the murmuring conversation quit along with all the clinking of silverwares on plates. Then with nothing outspoken the people went back to eating their breakfast. I had to dress all the images through an older lens. A dishwasher was sent out with a pale to wash the window. This happened ten years ago. How is it that in "the dirty south" communities have well mixed groups of each class but here in the NW we've completely degraded?
03/25 Direct Link
I spent the afternoon frustrated. I spoke to God in the park with angry and desperate words. What happened was I received a call from a co-worker/friend at 2:30a, by 4 I was convinced she was in no shape to be alone. We spoke and prayed vigorously, I think of Christ on Mount Olives sweating blood. In a fit of emotional exhaustion we lied down, her hand gripped to mine. When I left she was more level but health was not reached.
I left the park aching and teemed with doubts. to be continued tomorrow...
yum
03/26 Direct Link
When I got to work another co-worker I know not to have a faith was crying in the smoking room and I caught that voice. "This is the same loneliness you are burdened with."
Hope; I had been seeking started there. I have something to cry out to; God. I have something to share my joy in. And in this case, I had something to vent on. All my Fuck You's to God didn't make a scratch on His grace. He took those frustrations off me and filled those holes with something to count on, something I can hope on.
03/27 Direct Link
go go g o uh oh outta gas yo.
I have been having dreams every night for the past week or so and they are all meaningless. Too bad. I have had dreams that were more than entertainment, ones that were meant to look at again and again and find there connection with this reality, ho-hum. I believe a person must be very patient and diligent to do this. Another possibility is that even dreams of certain significance may not be direct prophetic insight but more of a means for mental awareness of something. "Keep on dreaming" and "go figure."
03/28 Direct Link
Just to have it done I jumped the gun on this one.
Hey, does anyone need me to cook them up a salad? Eat lettuce, let us lettuce, amen. No eat shark, darn shark eat boat, go home empty stomached.
tiddle-dee tum, tiddle-ee tum-tum.
One of my favorite quotes is by Winnie-the-Pooh, Pooh Bear, Bear for short. He sayeth, "Poetry is not something you can go looking for, it is something that comes looking for you. All you can do is go to where it can find you." It makes a good point for a lot of things we want.
03/29 Direct Link
"Now you're just fucking with reality."
"I'm doing everything I can to."
"Lots of drinking going on."
"They tricked you into fire."
"I think he just went under my feet and murdered himself."
"The boot is fucking GOD!"
"The boot is life."
"Dickhead."
"I've never said that before in my life."
"The one condition is you must smoke at the same time."
"Shit."
"Yes."
"You've got thirty lives."
"What am I gonna do?"
"Live forever."
"Nice, you drew a picture of me also?"
(on fire, Ahhhhh!)
This is the shit that came out of mouths after whiskey went in.
03/30 Direct Link
No matter what you do, or how good you are trying to live, people (all kinds) will tell yor where your short comings are. If one is not actively anti-war, they will be told they are supporting it. I am too anti-war, but it is not my calling (for now) and not my gifting to be proposing impeachment rallies (or whatever).
Honestly, I feel I lived well in March. Trying hard to treat people right and consider their worth. No one has the right to judge without authority, that's just how I believe. There is plenty of action ahead!
03/31 Direct Link
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