BY babymay

06/01 Direct Link
The rain pattered on the canvas sheltering the people and the goods under it. The raindrops composed a rhythm that sound like a pianist playing an unfamiliar piece of music. Not very smooth but one can hear a distinct harmony.

Under the bright red canvas, buyers continue to scour for any cheap goods that caught their fancy while the peddlers shouted their voice hoarse to attract the needed attention to make enough earnings for the day. Music from the CD booth, as in protest to the melody that the raindrops made, played loud and discordant music from the present days.

06/02 Direct Link
Then the sharp, shrill sound of a microphone under testing pierced through the air. Before long, a lady starts to speak over the microphone in crisp mandarin. The auction for the crystal pieces starts again.

I always fail to understand, why people buying these crystals still? Are these crystals really worth something? Do they really bring in better fortune for their owners?

Yet another discordant sound, marring the peace that I will otherwise had enjoyed for another night, making it difficult to concentrate on the lines of facts and figures right in front of me which I need to memorize.

06/03 Direct Link
Close your eyes and hear the dry air sucking up the moisture and life out of the evergreen leaves as autumn comes. Can you hear the leaves crumpling, turning yellow, orange, red? Can you hear the soft breaking of each leaf drops from the tree? Can you hear the soft landing that each made?

The breath of autumn is getting thicker now and the gardens fed our eyes with a wide kaleidoscope of colors. Lovers stroll through the gardens, enjoying the dry cackling that the fallen leaves made with every footstep, wrapping themselves ever so tightly in their thick jackets.

06/04 Direct Link
I can try to move faster but I am handicapped by these inabilities. If I overstretched myself, I fear I may lose my footing, lose my bearing and hurt others and myself in the race to catch up.

I can move slowly if needed but I also fear others will soon step all over me in their haste to move forward, hurting my physical self, destroying my worth, creating a permanent damage that I will never free myself from.

I need someone to pace me when I'm too fast and someone who will stop for me when I'm too slow.

06/05 Direct Link
It is ever so easy to get pissed off by another person and similarly, it takes only a little effort to make another's day. I have the unfortunate task of covering for a colleague who, of all the things in the world, has an extremely high opinion of himself.

He refuses to reply to people who give him "insufficient notice", complaining that such people have "no manners". He feels that replying to such requests would reduce his "importance". He does not attend meetings, however important or urgent, if he is given less than one day's notice for the same reason.

06/06 Direct Link
Today, he needs to be with his very sick girlfriend and is not in. Every meeting I attended on his behalf is like a complaint session. One complained he is inconsiderate, another commented he is snobbish. Another told me in a woeful manner, that he actually needed the information from my colleague yesterday.

I felt like walking out on these people and let my colleague cleared up his own mess but most of these people are associates I get along well with. It is not their fault at all. Anyway, it's just one day and everything will be over soon.

06/07 Direct Link
Have you ever wondered about the possibility of the sewage pipe breaking up on top of you? I thought about that when I was in the washroom one day and the toilet on the floor above me being flushed. It's not a pretty thought and for a while, I stood outside the toilet cubicle until the sound had subsided before going in.

Maybe we should not build toilets one on top of the other in high-rise buildings. Anything can happen- acts of god, acts of man- that can destroy the building at a time when one is inside the toilet.

06/08 Direct Link
My hairstylist has a very flamboyant boss, who is also a well known personality in the local fashion circuit. According to both our mental count, he should be in his late fifties but he does not look anything like it. He spent a lot of money on his appearance, especially on injections.

Nobody knows his age; he refuses to talk about it. Nobody dares to discuss it with him- unless you want a pay cut or a bigger share of the nastiest customers the salon has. But the staff is curious as are some of the nosey customers like me.

06/09 Direct Link
I stood at the edge of the rooftop garden, wanting to lose myself here. The greenery had broken off into a pavement of dull, gray concrete. Endless stream of vehicles and people on the main shopping street below reminds me that I am in the heart of the city. I closed my eyes and I heard only intangible noises, as the sources interleaved with their own echoes made by bouncing off the smooth reflecting surface of the imposing orange building in front of me. The sun was hidden in the clouds and the air, though cool, felt mixed with dust.
06/10 Direct Link
I remember the first time we met it was not very pleasant. You lost your patience with me though my lack of intelligence on the job was not really my fault. After all, it was my first time handling such issues and I was left to my own devices to learn what the job is about.

Perhaps you were right, I do not have the needed competence for the tasks at hand and is more a hindrance than any help. It was demoralizing to deal with someone like you on my first day and I consider quitting at that moment.

06/11 Direct Link
I watched the clouds glide slowly across the sky, thinking how nice it would be if you were next to me. At least, I won't feel so alone. Even if no words were spoken or exchanged, the mere sense of your presence is enough to lift me up.

The smell of the morning grass rose gently to me, fresh, clean, uncorrupted. A simple scent that speaks so much and yet so little of a life quietly unfolding in the morning sun. Thoughts of you grew stronger. I remember your simple style, with nothing to hide and even little to embellish.

06/12 Direct Link
I don't know why but I feel happy, maybe even exhilarated though things are not going well at all today. My suppliers were acting nasty-when I tried to negotiate for better prices, they revised their quotes upwards instead, refusing to honour all the prices previously quoted, even though the previous quote has no validity tied to it.

I also have an exam coming and I have not study the materials. Yet these did not dampen my spirits still. Somehow I believe things will sort themselves out. Maybe this is what people mean by "happiness comes from within, not from without".

06/13 Direct Link
I finally understand that it's not hard to find happiness; it's within every one of us. The ancient Chinese has a saying that when one is content with your lot, you will find joy.

Every one of us has often experience times when everything is not what it should be, that we deserve more than what we were given? At times like this, we often feel to see the beauty and wonder in the things that have. While such discontent is a motivating factor to spur us to greater achievements, it's at the expenses of an otherwise could-have-been happier existence.

06/14 Direct Link
I often received e-mails from friends which discussed about people who are undaunted by the hardship they faced because they had seen worse happening to others and they feel their lot, though limited, is worth feeling great and content about.

Each time I read such stories, I seem to unconsciously learning to let things go. I used to think that to arrive at the apex of the corporate jungle is very important; now having a stable and interesting job is more meaningful. Maybe it is age catching up with me but I prefer to think that I am just enlightened.

06/15 Direct Link
There is a small reservoir near my place. It's not very fantastic and is only 6,300 metres around. The perimeter is built with jagged rocks from forgotten quarries. There aren't many trees around the place either. On one side of the reservoir are old housing apartments built to house the workers in the 1970s-80s; on another side is the industrial area where a small fishery port is located as well. Sometimes, the air will smell of the processed food made by these factories.

Although it is lacking in aesthetic appeal, this reservoir frames a major part of my childhood memories.

06/16 Direct Link
My family had this lady tenant who liked to sit at the jagged rock outcrop framing the small reservoir. She would take me there after she came back from work in the evenings and we will find ourselves places to sit while admiring the sunset when the weather is good.

She would tell me things about herself and I would share with her my little thoughts. Like any other child, I fantasized about what I want to be, what I hope to be. None of my big dreams materialized today. Perhaps it's already a blessing to be a simple person.

06/17 Direct Link
I looked at the sky and it's blue
I looked at your mood and it's blue, too.
No, it's a few shades darker.
And it's getting darker and darker like the black night.

I looked at the night and little lights started shining though
I looked at your life, the lights are there too.
Faint but ever growing brighter and brighter,
Burning away the darkness.

Do not let anger and disappointment get you down,
Life is full of its surprises.
Every trial and difficulty happens for a purpose.
One that will make itself known in the most pleasant way someday.

06/18 Direct Link
She thinks she is so smart,
Yet at every creeping moment
Stupidity grows on her
Gradually getting bigger and bigger
Until it overwhelms the brain
For all to see

She thinks she is so pretty
Yet at every creeping moment
Lines grows on her
Gradually setting deeper and deeper
Until it cracked the skin
For all to see

She thinks she has a great body
Yet for every creeping minute
Fat grows on her
Gradually getting bigger and bigger
Until it reshapes the waist
For all to see

She thinks she is so likeable
Oh, I really hate her so.

06/19 Direct Link
Standing at the ledge of the garden in the rooftop
I closed my eyes.
I hear many people talking at once
Their voices travel up to me
I strained to hear what they have to say
Hoping to catch maybe an interesting story
But nothing tangible registered in me.

Standing at the ledge of the garden in the rooftop
I closed my eyes
I feel the wind brush gently against me
It is littered with some dust
I strained to catch what freshness in the air
Hoping it might rejuvenate me
But my heart was too heavy to be lifted

06/20 Direct Link
"Rainy, sunny, cloudy,
which is your favourite kind of weather?"
I asked innocently
Hoping secretly that your answer will be the same as mine.

If you must know
My vote is for cloudy days
Especially for the pictures that filled up the blue sky
When the clouds raced by

If you must know
My vote is for cloudy days
Especially for the non-threatening warmth
From the bashful sun that hide behind the clouds

You smiled at me and walked away
Not telling me your choice
I wonder if yours the same as mine
Guess I would not know for now

06/21 Direct Link
Whenever I think of you
Disappointment, sadness will well up
Until they overwhelmed me
I am working harder still
To render painless and forgetful memories of you
But as I try harder
The images became more vivid and clear
Your every gesture
And every word exchanged between us, spoken or otherwise
Perhaps I should stop trying
Maybe then I might do better
Only then time will be on my side
To help fade the memories away
But somehow my heart refused
As it tries to hold on to a part of you
That still belongs to me--
Memories of you
06/22 Direct Link
If sadness is blue,
If anger is red,
If pure is white,
If jealousy is green,
If dark thoughts are black,
What then is the color of happiness?
Is it green, yellow, red, blue or purple?
Is it colorless?
I like to think that Happiness is
All colors all at once.
Yellow, green, blue, brown,
Red, purple, orange, pink
The full kaleidoscope of colors,
That nature presents to our naked eyes,
That nature paints our world with.
Rightly so because without happiness,
Will we appreciate with wonder what our eyes see?
The world will seem dull if there's no happiness.
06/23 Direct Link
No one.
You say there is no one.
Yet I saw your wardrobe getting brighter.
You used to hate yellow,
But now you own a yellow shirt.
I saw your watch is different as well.
It is sporty and not leather anymore.
Your hairstyle is different, too.
Just want a change in mood, you say.
Even the stereo in your car
Is playing a different kind of music
From what I used to associate you with.
The signs are so subtle, yet so telling.
That someone is edging closer and closer to you.
And pushing me out of your life.
06/24 Direct Link
The little ball,
Kicked by grown men around the field,
Chased by grown men around the field,
Watched by grown men around the field.

The little ball,
Chased for the sake of personal glory,
Chased for the sake of national pride,
Chased for a moment of triumph.

The little ball,
Its every move captured the audience's vision,
Its every move affected the audience's mood,
Its every move determined if Daddy is smiling to sleep tonight.

The little ball,
Little as it is,
Yet potent as it is,
Writing a country's glory and shame in the fame of the World Cup.

06/25 Direct Link
What is the most important thing in my life? Sometimes I wonder, slogging here at my computer. Fending off accusations that I didn't do my work, fighting internal conflicts, trying to bully my vendors, getting bullied by my customers, ever trying to do everything at once to meet deadlines. But at the end, what did I get?

A miserable pay, a cut in bonus, no annual increment? Perhaps I am too discontent; I should be glad I still have a job. Just that it comes with little job satisfaction, with a lot of menial tasks to perform, with little recognition.

06/26 Direct Link
I wanted so badly to do things for you
But you never gave me a chance to
Not feeling that I could be of help

I wanted so badly to see you
But you sent a note that you are away
That you would be back today

I wanted so badly to just run into you
But you just passed me by
Not seeing me in the jostling crowd

What does it takes for you to notice me?
I am plain and simple, not the sort you stop for another look
Does that mean I stand no chance at all?

06/27 Direct Link
It is easy to have conflicts with people yet it is so difficult to manage conflicts. All of us are different and naturally, we could not always agree on all things. While understanding this is easy, this thought often slips my mind when I am challenged. Sometimes I wonder why can't my life be simpler, especially concerning my work where I encounter the most disagreements. Why do I work for? I do not think it is because I enjoy working but that work is a means to fulfill other needs. I should really learn not to take work conflicts personally.
06/28 Direct Link
The sea breeze gently brushed my hair away from my face
And lightly whispers secrets of creed and creatures from afar
The air is thicken with the smell of sea brine
And the smells of people, goods and ships from ports afar
The sound of the waves lapping on the shore
Leaving behind pieces of seaweed, shells and other gifts from afar
The morning sun shines benignly on me
Lightly touching my exposed skin with its quiet warmth
It feels heavenly, just sitting here, relaxed and calm, at the beach
All by myself
This is really what life should be
06/29 Direct Link
The rain pelted heavily on the car, leasing all its fury on it, as the wipers worked furiously to wipe the waters away from the windscreen. Everywhere around us the vehicles disturbed the waters, creating huge waves along the flooded road. This is the kind of weather where I would prefer to stay indoors and read or simply lazed around. It was amusing watching my father trying to move his vehicle ahead without stirring up too much of the muddy waters on the road. If you listened carefully, you can the wind howling, as if in searching of a kill.
06/30 Direct Link
One morning, an entomologist and a banker went for a walk together. Suddenly, the entomologist stopped and disappeared behind a bush. When he came back, he was holding a small insect, a unique specimen. The banker was amazed. They left the woods and went into the small town. Suddenly, the banker stopped and he stooped to pick up a few shillings on the floor while the entomologist walked ahead, oblivious to these. I heard this story from the radio and I realised how easy it is to miss the wonderful things around me just because I am shutting myself out.