BY thefish

07/01 Direct Link
I skipped June. I just didnít feel like baring my soul last month. I just wanted to concentrate on my new guy. I am happy to report that it is still going. No "Dear Jane" letter. It is just a nice and easy going relationship and I am comfortable with it. It is actually the best of both worlds. I have a fantastic lover/friend whose company I enjoy immensely. The sex is sensational. He is a cute, sexy man! But my life is still my own. I have no-one I have to answer to but myself. Priceless!!!
07/02 Direct Link
Best LAID plans!!! I was supposed to see Blondie today. But it was not to be. The Universe decides these things, not us. First, he called and told me that wifie asked some unusal questions. He doesn't want to cause any suspicion. So, today might not happen. I told him I usually am off work early before a holiday so maybe we could get together sooner. He called later and told me wifie made plans for them for this afternoon. No go. I didn't get out of work until 3:10. It wouldn't have worked. Shit happens!
07/03 Direct Link
I awoke to Missy's voice this morning. As the conversation began to take flight, I heard the distinct sound of muffled tears and sniffles. I asked her why she was crying. Immediately my heart broke as well and the tears started to flow from my eyes, spilling down my cheeks and dropping onto the comforter beneath me. It felt good. I haven't cried in a long time. Yet, here I was crying with my baby. Her friends are on her case. The family is on her case. I told her it was time to come see Mommy Dearest.
07/04 Direct Link
I stopped by the ole homestead today on my way to the lake. Missy decided that she was not going to join her brother and me for the 4th of July activities. So, I did a drive by hug and kiss, said Happy Birthday to Copper. At the lake, I met The Prodigal Son's new girlfriend. There I was, all of 49, hanging out with the younguns. What fun we had!!! Beer, vodka, pot, food, sun, water, friendships. I am soooooo proud of the Prodigal. He's doing so well and he's so happy to be in love!
07/05 Direct Link
Sunblock must have some new chemicals in it these days. Why do I say that, you ask? I am trying to get my summer tan going. I have been to the beach, to the pool and spent the 4th of July at the lake...and still no tan lines. So, today I decided to go to the pool without the sunblock. I stayed for about an hour hoping to "jumpstart" my tan. I didn't burn myself, but I definitely got some color and finally the tan lines. One of these days I'm gonna have to try out the nude beach.
07/06 Direct Link
I am done with moochers. I have never mooched off anyone in my life. I don't understand why I am a moocher magnet. Well, that's not entirely true. I have a hard time saying no to a friend. I loaned Big M 20 dollars, emphasizing that I had to have it back sometime over the weekend. We ended up in huge fight. I'm done. Detroit was supposed to stay on my couch a couple of weeks. He eats, sleeps and borrows my car. I need my privacy back!!! I have gotten veeeeeeeeeeery little money from him. I'm done times two!!!
07/07 Direct Link
Laughing; touching; licking; chatting; giggling; caressing; kissing; moaning; fucking; more moaning; more laughing; more touching; more licking; more chatting; more caressing; more kissing; more fucking; breathing; lusting; moaning again; laughing again; kissing again; touching again; caressing again; giggling again; fucking again; more moaning; more laughing; more touching; more licking; more chatting; more caressing; more kissing; more fucking; moaning again; laughing again; kissing again; touching again; caressing again; giggling again; fucking again; more touching; more licking; more chatting; more caressing; more kissing; more fucking; relaxing; goodbye. Over and over and over we played the evening away. And how was your evening???
07/08 Direct Link
I can't believe I missed your call. We have not spoken in so long, I was so dissappointed. I called you back a couple of times and left voicemail. I was hoping you would call back before you returned home. I had so much to chat with you about, listen to you tell me all about your life and what has been going on in it lately. How's the business coming? How's the homelife? The kids? The wife? Any fabulous stories to tell from your travels to and fro? I so wanted to hear all about it. Hopefully next time.
07/09 Direct Link
We met exactly 8 weeks ago today. I have been carrying on this love affair for 2 months. I have not received a "Dear Jane" letter. He continues to plan future get-togethers and calls and e-mails during our time apart. I am having the time of my life! I did confess to him at our last meeting that I am keeping my heart under wraps. The last thing I need is to fall "in love" and ruin this precious and fun relationship. I can't take another broken heart. I will enjoy this, but I won't hope for more.
07/10 Direct Link
This has got to be the most BORING Friday I have ever experienced. I can hardly keep my eyes open. I feel like taking a nice long nap. I could just put my head down on my desk right here and right now and fall asleep. Come on 4 o'clock...hurry up!!! Now the yawning has started. The eyes are watering with each new yawn and I want to sleep soooooo bad. I can't wait to get home...have a glass of wine...light up a toke...take a nap and then go out to the Luau later on tonight.
07/11 Direct Link
Why me? Why does it always have to be me? I attended a function held by my apartment complex last night. It was a Luau by the upper pool with food and entertainment. I had returned to my place for a bathroom break, glass of wine, smoke and toke and when I arrived back at the party, the Hula girls were taking random members of the crowd up for a hula lesson. I was grabbed as I walked in. That was fun. But, when I decided to go for dessert, I tripped on a curb and fell flat! Why me?
07/12 Direct Link
Summer has officially begun! A nice day at the beach with Half-pint was all I needed to get into the summer swing. We laid in the sun for a couple of hours and talked about this and that. I am so glad she moved back to Dana Point. It's so much easier to hang out with her again. Then it was back to my place and a dip in the pool. Ahhhh! Sweet water! I love the water. I could stay in the water for hours on a hot summer day. I am thefish after all! It's my nature.
07/13 Direct Link
Ah...good old Monday. Have I previously expounded on the fact that I HATE Mondays? Seems that I have. But 100 words are NEVER enough to expound on how much I HATE Mondays! Why do I hate Mondays? Let me count the ways! I hate Mondays because my weekend is OVER!!! I hate Mondays because it means back to the grindstone. I hate Mondays because on Monday mornings I know I have five more days til the weekend. I hate Mondays because the previous two days I was able to linger in bed as long as I like. Shit!!! Fuck!!!
07/14 Direct Link
The Prodigal Son has a nasty infection on his neck. He got it from a hicky!!! I've never heard of such a thing. Apparently he asked her for a good one. When he shaved, he said, it was tender and got razor burned bad. As the days passed, sores started to pop up in the area and he felt a lump under his left ear and he was running fever. The doc says he may have a staff infection. Ouch! That is a devil to get rid of. I only hope and pray he doesn't end up in the hospital!
07/15 Direct Link
Big M: I am done with being your sugar Mamma. You rarely follow through when you owe me money or promise to pay back NSF charges on a check I wrote so we could have cocktails on the weekend. I have givien you money from my winnings at the casino; I have always paid you back if I borrowed money from you to gamble with; I've bought the refreshments and bait countless times when fishing. I work hard for my money, I struggle to pay ALL my bills. You don't pay rent, utilities, car payment, just Fuck Off!!!
07/16 Direct Link
I have been involved in a very interesting debate with a fellow B-Nutter over at He is arguing that we can assume a God (naturally it's his "God") from the logical assumption of a "first cause" or "uncaused cause." Many of us have argued that there is no logical reason to assume a first cause. He is not taking into account the idea of infinite regression. We argue that there is reason to believe that everything is the way it has always been. I argue that a circle has no beginning nor end. What do you think?
07/17 Direct Link
I am having a difficult time keeping my heart out of this one. He is just too good to be true! Damn...why can't I just keep my heart out of it? I cannot let myself go there. I cannot hope for a future with him. I just like him sooooo much. We click in a way I haven't clicked with anyone in a long time. This sucks!!! Why can't I meet someone I can feel the same way about that is not MARRIED!!! All I want is someone I can share my life with. I can't with him. FUCK!!!!
07/18 Direct Link
What good is sitting alone in your room? Come hear the music play. Life is a Cabaret old come to the Cabaret. I used to have this girlfriend known as Elsie...with whom I shared four sorted rooms in Chelsea...she wasn't what you'ld call a blushing a matter of fact she...she rented by the hour. The day she died the neighbors came to snicker...well that's what comes from too much pills and liquor. But when I saw her laid out like queen...she was the happiest corpse I'ld ever seen....Karaoke song continued!
07/19 Direct Link
I think of Elsie to this very day! I remember how she'ld turn to me and saaaaay. What good is sitting...all alone in your room...come hear the music play. Life is a Cabaret old come to the Cabaret. And as for me...well as for me...I made my mind up back in Chelsea........when I gooooooooooooooooo...IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'm goin like Ellllllsie. Start by...admitting...from cradle to isn't that long a staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...Life is a Cabaret old's only a Cabaret old chum...and I LOVE...a...CA...BAa... REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET.......Yeah! My Song!
07/20 Direct Link
Uh...dumb date!!! We met at exactly 5:25 and I was at my car parked 10 minutes away at 6:20. First of all, I was not attracted in the least. Second of all, he informed me he was married and was surprised that I didn't know that already. He was not CLEAR in his CL ad. I told him I've already got that and I don't need another married man in my life. He was perplexed and asked why I was out on a date if I'm involved. Duh!!! I'ld like to meet a nice SINGLE guy someday!!!
07/21 Direct Link
Lunchtime delight! Blondie is leaving for vacation and had to see me one more time before taking off. I was delighted that he thought of me and wanted to have a quickie to hold us until he returns home in a couple of weeks. So, he arrived and we embraced and kissed passionately (those kisses have to last me for two weeks!). Then he hopped in the shower for a rinse as it is so hot right now. Then it was on to the bedroom where lunch took on a whole new meaning. How will I ever give him up???
07/22 Direct Link
Note to self: Next time Missy wants to invite friends over for a "girls night" complete with jello shooters, just say NO! Oh my, what a night. First of all, more people showed up than she anticipated. A few she didn't know. I was polite but firm when I told the crowd that they must be quiet after 10:00 p.m. The last thing I need is the cops at my door nailing me for allowing underage drinking on the premises. So, they left, but not before one of the guys (I'm sure) lifted my new pot pipe! CRAP!!!
07/23 Direct Link
There always has to be one in every bunch. You know? The co-worker from Hell! Well, we've got one. She took my position as the "office girl" when I was promoted upstairs. She is never happy. She constantly complains about everyone in the company including the Boss Lady. She doesn't control her emotions and brings her personal unhappiness to work. When her personal life combines with her professional life, it's not a pretty sight. Her anti-depressents and valium hardly make a dent in her demeaner. I'm beginning to wish she would find other employment. The Boss Lady agrees.
07/24 Direct Link
The phone call came just around 2:00 this afternoon. Detroit had taken Bo out and when he let him off his leash at the bottom of the stairs, Bo gave him a "look" and just took off. I had to finish the days shipping and I was frantic. I rushed home, started walking, sobbing and calling his name. At one point, I tripped on a curb and took the skin off of my right knee. A call to the shelter brought results. Bo was there! I had Detroit drive me to the shelter. There is NOTHING like happy tears!!!
07/25 Direct Link
It's quite interesting that sometimes in life, an event happens when you truly know how much something means to you and why. That is the case with my Bo. As I was sitting on the couch giving him hugs and kisses, it occurred to me, that this is why I was so devastated that I had lost him. He is my love...he is the one who gets most of my affection. I live alone. I have no-one to give my love and affection to on a regular basis. He absorbs the love I have to give. My Bo!
07/26 Direct Link
This has been a rather uneventful weekend (if you don't count the Friday episode). I can't do anything. I can't go to the beach. I can't go to the pool. And it's HOT!!! So, all I've done is lay around and nurse my knee. It is in worse shape than either of my knees has been in lately. The fall at the Luau wasn't this bad. The skin is leveled to probably the third layer located right on top of my right knee. There are some smaller scrapes thrown in for good measure. This one's gonna leave a scar. CLUTZ!!!
07/27 Direct Link
"Precious and few are the moments we two can share..." That's a great song from back in the day. I remember listening to that song when I was a little girl. It should be the theme of my love life right now. How could I have known when I listened to it back then, that it would have so much meaning to me now? It's true...we can only spend a short time together about once a week. But those few stolen moments mean more to me than an eternity with someone that I don't feel the same way about.
07/28 Direct Link
It's been a week since the last time I saw Blondie. He's on vacation with the family. We've gone as long as two weeks between visits, but for some reason, I miss him more when I know he's away. And it's not the family thing. Heck, he goes home to them every day. That's not it. I think it's because when he's in town, I know he's near and I may get a call or email from him discussing our next rendezvous. But when he's gone, I know that's not going to happen. I can't wait til he is back!!!
07/29 Direct Link
Happy Birthday Santi! I hope you had a wonderful birthday. I know we don't get to see each other as much as we used to. I just don't make it down to the Irish Pub as much as I used to. And you are in San Diego a lot with your education. I am so proud to have you as a friend. We've spent some good times together including a New Year's Eve. That was so fun. And we'll always have Christmas Eve. I fucking got a black eye over that one! worries. I don't blame you. Muah!
07/30 Direct Link
Who comes a knocking on my door at midnight? Missy...that's who! We were having a rather heated discussion via e-mail, phone and text. Since I wouldn't listen to her crap, she decided to come over and talk face to face. I listened and then had my say. We agreed about the issue, but I'm no dummy! She wasn't worried about us making up. She certainly didn't have her friend drive to my place for a nice visit and some girl talk. She was worried that I was going to cut off her phone. I was not born yesterday!
07/31 Direct Link
Payday!!! I fucking love paydays. And when payday falls on a Friday, then my mood is even more cheerful. Living paycheck to paycheck is a bitch, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I never dreamed that I would make as much money as I do now and still be struggling to survive. If only I could win the lottery! The lottery would make all my money worries go away. I should definitely start playing again. There is no way to win unless you play. So, I need to get off my ass and start playing and stop complaining!