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I'm so not inspired to write right now. Great way to start the month, I know, but I just don't have much to say. This evening was nice, though. James came over for dinner and Dick make corn chowder that was very rich and sweet and good. James had a roll of film that he needs to use up by Sunday, so we ventured out to First Street and tried taking pictures, but it was terribly dark. We settled down at Ragg's for a while and took a couple of pictures there. Only took ten total, but there's always tomorrow.
The morning thus far has been highly uneventful. Tonight, however, James and his parents are taking me to the city. The city being San Francisco. I think we may go cafe hopping in Little Italy. Appetizers in one place, dinner in another, dessert in one more. I've never eaten in Little Italy before, though I imagine it's quite wonderful. The last time they went they found a place where a number of tables had enormous bowls of gummy bears on them. They are now determined to go back and find out what item they come with and to get it.
Last night was absolutely wonderful. At one point, we ducked into a candy store, where I bought two sugar-free lolly pops that have a catch. One is clear and tequila-flavored and has a little worm inside. The other is bright green and called a Cricket Lick-it. I bet you know what's inside of that one. I started the clear one this morning, and after a lot of licking, got to the worm, which is crunchy and rather nutty. Eating the cricket is going to be a little harder for me than the worm, though. I can't wait.
Open mouth. Insert foot. Gnaw. Maya did in fact decide to go to college a year early. In North Carolina. Last I'd heard, it was still undecided. At least I was polite, though, god, I'm sure it came off really rude. I'm sure Stanley thinks I'm a big dick, now, and I certainly can't not show up, because he took my e-mail as an RSVP. I wish at least James could come along for some support, but he's in Sacramento for the weekend. God, what have I gotten myself into? Don't mind me...I'm just gnawing away, here.
I just got an e-mail from Dad and Jean! They're off in Costa Rica, the lucky dogs, having the time of their lives. They're taking surfing lessons, and doing a lot of other fun stuff. Today they rode horses to a super-tall waterfall, where they went for a swim, and got to swim right under it. The ocean water is like a warm bath, and the weather is steamy. I have no doubt that they're going to get sick on pineapple by the time they leave, and suffer withdrawals when they return. I can't wait for the stories.
I have a list of books I need to read a mile long. After I finish
The Universe in a Nutshell
(Stephen Hawking), I need to read the book I just bought at City Lights,
A Picture of Dorian Gray
(Oscar Wilde). Then I want to read the book James is currently reading, a book of short stories by Michael Chabon, an author he's getting into lately. After that, I plan on reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy, followed by
. I wanna read
The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Tests
, and more Kurt Vonnegut. The list goes on...
Oh, this evening has been so windy and rainy and cold. James and his parents and I went to dinner at First Street Cafe and the whole evening we were admiring the practically gale-force winds. The lights flickered a few times, and we were hoping that the power wouldn't go out. Then, as they gave me a ride home, my block was suspiciously dark. The power was out at my house and still is. We don't have any non-electric alarm clocks, which is lame, but I love having all the candles lit and listening to the wind.
James is in southern California this weekend, but I have plenty to keep me busy. Tomorrow I'm going to a little reunion thing with the exchange kids that live in the bay area. Sunday we're going to visit Dick's parents in Arnold, and perhaps there will be a smidgen of snow there. Monday, Alison and I are going to do something or other, I'm not sure what. And all the time in between, I have homework to do and a frog to paint. I'm using watercolors on a sketch I did this evening. I'm still gonna miss James, though.
I think I'm going to be sick. I changed everyone's plans for the weekend so that I could go to this stupid reunion today, and I went to the meeting place, waited for an hour without anyone showing up, then gave up and went and did stuff in the city. Came home and looked back on the e-mail, and the thing isn't until tomorrow. God. Damn. Tomorrow. Of course I have plans for tomorrow and also have no one to take me to BART even if I did stay home. How could I possibly be so thoroughly incredibly dumb?
Well, everything worked out. I got a ride and went to the reunion. Amber and Brandon couldn't make it, though, so it was just Stanley and Marijke and me. They are really good friends so I was just a third wheel. I don't think I said much intelligent the whole time. It was fun being in the city, though I think I would have rather been with James. That sounds kind of mean, but I mean, it was their thing. I was mostly just tagging along and enjoying being in the city. I wish Amber and Brandon could have come...
Today was fairly uneventful. Alison and I hung out on first street and split a milkshake. It was kinda weird, because it seemed like we didn't have as much to talk about as we used to...I think we are drifting, which saddens me. I know she feels it too, though she is more vocally against it. I haven't said anything. Just assured her that it's okay when she is feeling guilty for not spending time with me. We have different friends, and I must say, I don't particularly care for hers. I think we're just moving on with our lives.
My main beef with Alison's friends is that they like to get drunk. She, like me, is very anti-alcohol, and so they try to hide it from her, and end up lying through their teeth. I really hate that. And also, and I'm about to be pompous, here; they're rather immature. But none of that has to do with Alison. One would think that with all my complaining about my friends being away, we would grow closer, but I think it has just made James and I closer. I don't know what I'll do without my Alison in my life...
Oh, god...how am I ever going to survive at astrophysics when I'm so terrible at math? How can I love math and still be so bad at it? Why do I like math? Because it's logical? I like things with symmetry…does that mean I have a logical mind? Unfortunately, my brain seems to hate mathematical logic of any kind. Maybe I should just give that up and get fluent at French and become a translator or a tour guide. Strut around San Francisco all day, showing French visitors my favorite little-known corners. Or move to France and open a boutique...
I'm very passionate about things, like deep space and art and fashion, but I seem to lack the skills necessary to turn my passions into something that I can do on a regular basis or to my satisfaction. James says that I am too critical of my skills, but I really truly don't think I have any kind of chance in the real world with the skills I currently possess. Sure I can sew, but I'm not really that creative. I make pretty much what I see and am inspired by. And math…I'm not even going to talk about math.
Here's a weird writing prompt. I am a houseplant. I have some thoughts on the people I live with. There's Dear/Maman, Honey/Dick, and Babe/Sarah. Dear always waters me. She enjoys putting me in different places from time to time, and spends evenings either away or in front of the TV with Honey. She cooks a lot. Honey spends days at home, and does things for Dear. He ignores me for the most part, except to occasionally give me Miracle-Gro. Babe picks off my dead leaves, but other than that I don't see her, because she's never in the living room.
I am so incredibly inspired. I went to a fashion show of some of the seniors from this fashion college, and there were some awesome designs there. I really want to make a shirt that I saw there on one of the other attendees. It was long sleeved, but she had them pushed up to her elbows, and the neck was super large, and off one of her shoulders. I also want to get some brightly colored half-slips and wear a couple at a time as skirts. And now I'm into diagonal corset-type lacings in the back of a dress.
Oh, man, Dad and Jean are home from Costa Rica, and they have good stories and interesting wares to share. We now have a bright purple smiling sun above our front door that is absolutely gorgeous. They kept a journal throughout the trip, and I started reading it this afternoon. It's incredibly well written! I'm amazed! I love it! Jean wrote most of it, but Dad pitched in here and there, and even though it's not gut wrenchingly exciting, their story is just really well told. I wish I could write like Jean…hopefully 100 Words is helping me get there.
Essay day! I haven't budged from this seat more than twice all day. I even fell asleep for an hour here. Fortunately, though, James and I worked on them together last night at his house and I got my thoughts together and a couple of paragraphs out of the way. That was very helpful. I've had a hard time focusing today. My mind drifts away to other things, or I get caught up singing a song or just plain zone out. I work in super-concentrated spurts, where I'll get a lot done, but then get distracted by silly little things.
I've been doing really well for a really long time, now. I haven't gone into one of my moods where I'm just kinda down. Today however, I felt one hovering above my head several times, threatening to fall down around me. At one point, I walked out of a door before James, and underestimating its weight and thinking he had it, let go. It smacked into him and jostled him a bit. I began to overreact to that and get into a mood, but managed to evade it all day. So I'm happy. Hopefully it won't come around again. Ever.
Had a pomegranate today, and my thumb and forefinger are still stained a bit purple. They're such a gorgeous fruit. When you hold a single seed up to the sun, the light streams through, illuminating the white seed in the middle of the ruby surroundings, and it's absolutely stunning. They're deep red at one end, then gradually bleed to the point of being totally clear and translucent at the tip. When you crack the fruit open, they're in perfect rows of sparkling garnet. Dropped from a height, the seeds are fragile enough to burst and leave a beautiful red *splat*.
been trying to meet you
must be a devil between us
or whores in my head
whores at my door
whores in my bed
been if you go I will surely die
-The Pixies, "Hey"
God, I love this song. I don't know what it is about it. Every time I'm down, I find myself writing the lyrics to that first stanza. I want to incorporate them into a piece of art. Well, it is art by itself, but I mean visual art. Art that I make.
meaning for you.
Oh, I'm excited. Tomorrow James and I are making dinner together. We briefly considered trying to cook some sort of Asian food, perhaps Thai, but decided that we'd play it on the safe side and cook food we know we can pull off. So we're doing Italian. We're having positive negative crostini, which is half olive tapenade, and half goat cheese. Then a tomato and mozzarella salad with a bit of balsamic dressing on the top and a few sprigs of basil, after which will be served sweet squash ravioli with brown butter sauce. And dessert: strawberries dipped in chocolate.
In general, dinner was a success. It took so long to make, though. We were in the kitchen for a good two and a half hours. We had to borrow Dijon mustard and run to the store for more olive oil when we were making the tapenade, but when on the bread with the goat cheese, god, it was good. (It was my favorite part) The salad didn't have any mishaps except the vinegar we used wasn't strong enough. The raviolis were very good. I should've filled them fuller, but we were afraid that they'd all burst when being cooked.
I think we had a little earthquake this morning. It wouldn't surprise me. I was asleep at the time, but I woke up to find that I seemed to be shaking, and I could hear the closet doors banging together. Unfortunately, I was too groggy to fully appreciate the goodness that was small earthquake. Fun thing about living in the bay area, that. Ah, yes, I just confirmed that I wasn't just drunk with sleep and imagining things. Jean said it was very short, but violent, and she actually felt it roll from one end of the house to another.
Ah, yes. Two day week this week, and then sweet Thanksgiving break. Many of my friends are coming home, and yesterday Eddie surprised me by stopping by unannounced. He and Runyon and John and I went to Sechwann and ate before I dashed off to Cirque du Soleil. Michelle was around today, but unfortunately, I didn't see her. This afternoon, Eddie and I went down to the first street beach and let the dog swim around while we poked around on the rocks and told stories as the sun set. Tried not to get our feet wet. Laughed a lot.
Ah, yes. Friday on a Tuesday. James and I walked downtown and wandered up and down first street a bit. We ended up at Ragg's and drank coffee and Thai tea and I took pictures. A couple of which I actually like. One is of James making a phone call, but it is taken through the front window so there are a couple of layers of reflection, and it's dark outside, and James is cast green from the neon light in the window. Ragg's closed, and we watched Monsters Inc. at James' house, which was still good the second time.
They're home! My friends are finally home on break. I started walking to Jake's house, but he and Tom drove by and picked me up halfway there, and when we exited the car, we all hugged each other. We returned to Jake's and ate burritos and told stories and make a few calls. We picked up Liz, and it was really good to see her and Tom together again. We went to the Pino's and hung out with Michelle, and were later joined by others. It's so good to be together again. I've moved on, but I still love them.
Thanksgiving was...uneventful. We ate a little later than planned, but nothing too exciting. We were at my grandfather's home, he, my dad, Todd and Todd's friend Chris, who I'm none too fond of. Todd wasn't overly talkative, except to yell at Chris or laugh at his jokes. Usually Todd is my main entertainment, but I sat at opposite ends of the table from him and watched him sweat. Dad was stressed over the turkey, because he accidentally let it sit in the oven without heat for an hour. But I make it sound worse than it was. It was fine.
Today was well spent. I woke up to James on the phone, inviting me to breakfast with his family. Naturally, I accepted, and we went to Concord to Crepes a Go-Go. After some very tasty crepes, we meandered down the street and went into a bunch of home accessory stores, where I drooled over square oriental-style dishes, and the prices of tea kettles boggled us all. Back home, we bought a fresh baguette and rented a movie, and gorged ourselves on bread, olive tapenade and feta cheese. In the evening, James and I held each other and talked for forever.
Another month down, but this month I found it a bit harder to get my entries written on time. I just haven't been spending the time on the computer to load them, and don't have the time or discipline required to count out the words on paper. Perhaps I will allow December to go by and not write. I'll be going camping after Christmas, so won't be able to write then, and…oh, my excuses are so incredibly lame. But perhaps come January I'll have lots of stories to tell, and be rearing and ready to go. Just a short break…
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