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It is Teachers' Day today but every school around Singapore is opened because school admin staffs were not given a day break. Our schools, are they the same as the Olden Times? Back then, teachers were allowed to cane students, berate them, or even insult them. Parents were respectful towards them because they were regarded as learned beings. But now, teachers were not given the right to reprimand, let allow get physical with these children. Parents themselves are also learned people, hence the lack of respect. But they fail to understand how they had become learned in the first place.
Today will be the day when I will stop blogging forever. For I am no longer the same Mich as I was; for my perspective of Life has changed. There is no meaning in ranting and talking about my life; my life encompasses so much more: the lives of others. My reason for blogging is no longer valid and henceforth, I shall diminish into expressing my thoughts and sediments with just a hundred words. Where scarcity is mundane, every word will be better cherished and better loved. My words will be Gold and my exclamation will be become little Diamonds.
It is time. I never thought I would feel so melancholic about this, but it is time. Cobster is in Love, whether he knows it or not. Somehow, I am happy and sad all at the same time. Someone else has taken over his heart and it will never be the same. But it is alright, because he will be happy, and that is all that matters. I should let go now and start finding my own. Someday perhaps. He is gone and he will never return, I should have guessed. Right now, I must learn to accept the truth.
I felt angry today. I really hate it when my group members make use of me as a project leader to tidy all the loose ends and go the extra mile. I have other better things to do as well. Being leader is a responsibility, it is not a privilege. I hate commitments. At least, I didn't blow my top like how I would, a year back. I'm proud that I'd actually managed to calm myself down and be a little more optimistic. I guess that's the first step to being contented. If you're always angry, you'll never be happy.
I think I have a special ability: I can identify anyone's personal flaws. Some people told me that I was too choosy, so that made me single. But I thought: what the hell? I may be picky, but at least, I know what I want or who for that matter. Most people have meaningless relationships, so what if they have like a hundred and one? None of it will be true. I had that once, and so now I've learnt. I guess I would call myself a perfectionist. Sadly, that's a family trait; amongst other things. But who cares anyway?
Two days ago, Steve Irwin died from fatal, venomous sting from a Stingray. He was known as the Crocodile Hunter. Hence, people around the world started to insert this picture of a turtle in front of their MSN nicknames to pay their respects and spread the tribute. The turtle was the closest thing next to a reptile. Australians grieved while the world remained shocked over this untimely tragedy of a man who had survived attacks from crocodiles. He was a survivor. This is a tribute for him, for he will always be Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter; in our hearts.
My cell phone broke down again a couple of days ago. Unsurprisingly, I was somehow blamed. Apparently, that's how the Law in my household works. These technical boohoos are really annoying, think of them as a bad flu which seems to keep coming back time after time when you have supposedly cured it. Gadgets go haywire all the time, while some may annoy us others does more than that. So yes, even till today, my phone is still faulty and my dad's still pissed- because he can't fix it. I guess that's the real argument: Technology, our bane or gain?
My brother was telling me the other day that the infamous black hole in the Australian Hemisphere has stopped growing, but I remained indifferent. Then he noted that the fact that it has stopped growing meant that the global recycling efforts are truly working. Well, it may seem so but what about the rising sea level and temperatures? If recycling has truly succeeded, then why are the streets of our neighbourhood still littered with piles of trash? Take a look inside a trashcan and tell me how much rubbish inside are actually recyclable? Then tell me whether recycling has succeeded.
I met Adam the other day. Yes, The Adam who was such a nice chap to lend me his blazer during prom last year when I was almost dying from hypothermia and when the three other heartless guys on our table had ever so kindly rejected my requests and pleas. It was nice, seeing him again after so many months. Anyway, he was still the same old nice chap as ever but this time, he had offered to throw some disgusting trash of mine away. It was really a simple but sweet gesture that not many guys I know would.
She hesitated as she saw the pool of water. Her breathing had quickened as she thought of the various possible drowning scenarios that could result from her decision. She pondered for yet another second before leaping into the pool thinking: what can't kill you; will only make you stronger right? The pool was deep and she startled, realizing the reality. She struggled as her head went under, but the struggle made her sank. Bubbles of precious air escaped from her ailing lungs as she continued to fight for her life. Sadly, she didn't have the chance to yell for help.
What is love? Love is when you think of someone every single minute of the day. Love is when you want to try your level best to protect someone and would rather be the one who gets hurt instead. Love is when you care about someone more than you do for yourself. Love is when everything you do makes you think of that person or for the benefit of that someone. Love is when you start doing unusual stuff just to accommodate or please someone whom you would normally not. Love is when you feel that someone is worth it.
Should I wait? Should I wait for someone who is already attached? For someone who is afraid of me because of how I feel for him? Should I be nice and patient? Should I pray daily for him to be safe? Should I hope for the day he should come to me? Should I give him my blessings and dwell forever on the 'might-have-been's in our lives? Should I be understanding and continue looking out for him? Should I continue to feel for him and be empathic? Should I hope for him to break-up? Or should I just give up?
She hesitated for yet another moment again, as she saw the lady prepare to leave, before deciding that she should be more magnanimous, should she wish to trust and accept him and his past. She stood up cautiously and announced that she was leaving the apartment instead. The lady protested but she had already walked to the door and wore her shoes; leaving hopefully, not for the last time. She knew that she would hate herself for doing this, for she would have many sleepless nights to come. But that reassuring phone call from him had made everything worthwhile again.
I hate the feeling of missing somebody; be it family or friends, I just hate that lost feeling. It remind me of how little I treasure those around and even as time and again, the feeling keeps coming back to haunt me, I seem not to be able to curb it. It is not the complete sense of lost but yet, it is stronger than a mere fleeting hesitation. I believe love is a definite amount, if one loves too many; all the loved ones will receive a lower amount of love than the original entitlement. That's how I feel.
Seated at my usual seat, I threw a casual glance towards my right. It was Math lecture that day and I knew exactly who I was looking for. He was seated between two other guys, from his class definitely. If I had not been observing him for so long, I would have thought he was deliberately avoiding me. But nay, he was just sitting at some place at random. There were times when he would come close, but still, he was never close enough. There was only once when we were close enough, but that lasted barely even a moment.
I was still trying my best to look at him as discreetly as I could. But obviously, I was crappy at that, for I want more than just a look at him. Someone else found out about this though, thankfully it was not by a slip of the tongue neither was it distasteful rumours. By observation, it had been. I continued my subtle, one-sided staring game; whilst I was sensing that he was beginning to notice as well. But I persisted, so what, I thought. His eyes flicked to the left; my direction, but I look on. Finally, he knows.
Living in Singapore sometimes results in coincidences. There would times when you would simply bump into someone so unexpectedly familiar that you would have never anticipated. Today was such a day. I was waiting outside for a friend to open his door when I met my secondary physics teacher. It was so unexpected that initially, I was too shunned to utter his name, let alone greet him. I think he thought I was pretending not to see him or something. It was a pleasant surprise. Imagine: who would have such amazing luck to meet someone they knew under such circumstances?
I awoke with a sudden jolt. I was not sweating profusely but there was an ominous feeling in my stomach. It was high tide, though it did not seem to be dangerous. Yet. I laid in my bed and thought: Should I leave now and seek escape? No, another voice said in my mind. You cannot, someone else is already there. But, the other voice argued, there's always The Last Resort. I thought of it distastefully. It was seriously too much a hassle for something as trivial as this emptiness. I fell back to slumber although I regretted my decision.
People leave and come constantly, daily, all the time; in our lives. It was as though our little mediocre lives are becoming just a makeshift bus stop; where various sorts of people alight and board the different buses that arrive. Everything is so fast-paced, especially urban life. People are slowly missing the real point without realizing anything. They are swamped by reality, so much so that the false conceals the truth and people no longer pursue the truth for they are contented with the false. Perhaps one fine day, we will realize that the bus route is a looped one.
This is a note for all those people who are in love with the idea of being in love: Oblivion would probably be the world you exist in for you see what you wish, sought and want. The truth seems like a fleeting moment of hesitation or insecurity. You would misjudge your emotions and start psyching yourself up for something that is anything but the truth. You wish the moment would come to a standstill as you deemed yourself in blissful union. Fortune to you is what has become of your present. I guess it's about time you wake up.
Maybe it's you, I've been alone. Searching for love, until you came along. Without a moment's hesitation, maybe it's you. It's you I've been thinking of who would mend this broken heart of mine, it's you; I've been wishing for to be with me tonight. Someone to hold, someone to cry, someone to make me feel alright. Maybe it's you all my life. Fighting the odds, I could only treasure the times we had together. Whenever I come to you, I'm all healed. These memories that we share, will last through the end of time. Maybe it's you. It's you.
My brother was returning home from the Army and I was feeling relatively excited. It was different from the time he returned from China. Hell, the entire duration of his stay was different. I remembered missing him a whole great deal then. But somehow, even when he had returned, he was not quite the same brother. My parents say that it was because he had matured, but does maturity really changes one's behaviour? Sure, his ideas are about the same. Oh well, people change I suppose. It was just & there is something that just isn't quite 'him', you know?
I wonder how many urban girls these days actually fuss about their weight the way I do. Some say it has become an obsession, others say I'm too health cautious. Well, it is worrying if you continue to gain weight especially when you are already controlling your diet and working your hearts out. I am so bad that I have to weigh myself every night to reassure myself that I'll work a little harder tomorrow just to maintain the figures. To think that I'm trying to maintain a figure that isn't even what I desire is just& worth pigging out?
Reality Television. How true can they be? You would think that they operate without a pre-rehearsed script, right? Wrong. Everything in that so-called Reality Scene have been brainstormed and fabricated to satisfy the audience's craving for Real Life Action and Drama. Funny, isn't it? How people would choose to believe what is actually a lie? Almost everything that is shown from that angular box of technology has been made up. You may never know; these days, the lives of these Superstars may be fabricated to spice up the entertainment scene and well, to fill up those columns in tabloids mags.
Easy Love Up for Grabs! Come and get it NOW! Early birds get freebies like monthly anniversary gifts that vary in a wide range of female accessories, having someone to accompany you to the strangest places and being your confidante twenty-four/ seven. However, the quality of these freebies is based on First come First serve, which then affects the degree of commitment and Love. Monthly installments are also available which however means that the amount of Love received would be spurges. Available at all leading institutions, public areas and places of interests. Don't forget to check the expiry date though.
I'm thinking about sending him an email. Again. Yeah, yeah, oh how I hate myself for not being able to stop thinking about him, and the list goes on. I was thinking, since we would probably never see each other again after the next few weeks, shouldn't I at least put a full-stop to this & thing that seems like something close to a friendship? Well, it's obvious that neither of us would want to talk to either but still. I'd always believed in a proper closure for everything. Yeah, maybe I should huh. Put a nice dot on it.
Oh my God! I can't believe it! Gosh! I just got banned from my online journal's photo uploading site thing. My god! I seriously hope/wish/pray that it was a technical error, otherwise& Sheesh. All my hundred plus over pictures; vanished, gone, forgotten. I hate this. I hate this awful dependency on the computer, the Internet, this website! Images of my Life had just been erased. Isn't that scary? How parts of our lives can just disappear like that? Into nothing-ness. Why do people allow themselves to be manipulated by the very technology that was supposed to preserve their lives? Fuck.
There had been news that Osama Bin Laden was dead or murdered. The newsmakers were speculating its credibility. Personally, if I were to give my little rupee-valued two cents worth, I would suggest that good ole Osama had been dead ages ago. That turbaned dude with a crazy mane of wiry gray beard is just some figurehead person who is supposed to invoke fear into the minds of the world. Seriously, aren't these Terrorists supposed to inject fear into us fearful beings? Tapes can easily be forged or made real in that sense. For those people with brains, use it.
My goodness, my promotional examinations end on the widely celebrated, Mid Autumn Festival, or Mooncakes Festival to the others. I love that day. Children would be told of old tales that are obviously fictitious but nonetheless provided a mystical atmosphere while grown-ups consume delicious (but unfortunately, very expensive and over charged lotus seed paste, encased in roasted flour exterior) mooncakes. I remember when I was little, I would love this day for then I would be able to parade around the neighbourhood holding a candle-lit paper lantern. But now, it's just me, the mooncakes and my family that I remember.
It is over, just like that. Needless to say, I was disappointed, but deep down, I seemed to had already predicted this outcome. Why? Why did it have to turn out this way? I still feel for him regardless of all his misgivings. He is the doctor that I could grow to love. Surely he knows my sentiments by now, I am merely avoiding for the benefit for us both. I seriously cannot imagine him not feeling anything for me at all during this nine months, he is the Man of God. Or maybe he is still in denial. pfff.
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