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Or Abril uno, I think. What's been happening in the last two months since I actually managed to get through a months of these things. Well I started getting my unemployment money. I've been catching up on my pot smoking. Oh and I collected all the Inuyasha episodes. So you can tell my life has been chock full of excitement. When the highlights of your day are going to the post office and finding a decent Chinese restaurant in you neighborhood you just know you need to get out more. I've got a test coming in Spanish, but after that.?
Another exciting day. I got up late and smoked pot. I didn't study for Spanish. I sat around reading fanfiction while smoking pot. I ate some left over beef chow fun and had some ice tea. I called Rachel to see if she felt better, which she didn't and brought her some Prevacid. I bought some pot and picked up some sushi. I got home hung out with Matt and Amy and smoked some more pot. Came down stairs and went out and bought some crap. Came home made some salad and that is pretty much it. That is pathetic.
Today was a momentous day. I actually left my apartment to do something other than buy junk food at the store on Metropolitan. I hooked up with Diane and Phyllis for lunch at the queen. It was nice although I realized that all more time at home has made it once again very difficult to have a conversation with anyone because I have so studiously avoided having any thoughts about anything. So enough of that. I went to J and R and bought the Iomega 120 Gig external USB 2 hard drive. I am very happy about that. Very Cool.
I realize that I am not much on the comparison shopping. I didn't check on e-bay I didn't look on line or in any catalogue. I really don't want to. Instantaneous satisfaction; it's what I want. I want it. I have the money, and then I go buy it. It's just that simple. Yesterday when I bought my hard drive I was just going for dinner and the suddenly I was checking my bank balance and spending $250. I love it by the way. Having a big extra drive is really great. My computer is running much better. Way cool.
I'm not sure why the idea of The Faint making a remix able distress me to the degree that it does, or makes me think of Linken Park which it does. I always disliked them. Liked The Faint I was thinking of buying their second record. I probably won't no. Bands used to do remix singles, or ep's, or if they were around for a while a remix collection, but remixes of whole albums after a band has made one or two records. Not to mention the fact that I generally dislike them remixes are cheap and exploitive. Case closed.
Went of to Matt and Amy's place for six feet under. One of the only things that I do on a regular basis, except for getting high, collecting unemployment and going to school. Id dig it. I get a good meal, and six feet under is about the best thing on tv. It looks good, has a lot going on and one of the things I really like is that it actually has moments of stillness and quite. Not every second is filled with music or talking. It's on of the few things that me hopeful about tv being good.
Slept all day. Really all day. Got up after 4. I haven't done that in years. Didn't feel quite as good as it did. I mean it felt great but I feel guilty about it even though I had nothing I needed to do. I feel like I should have been awake. I didn't call Con Ed, and I didn't get my taxes in the mail. lot of didn'ts. I did take a walk and get some Chinese food. I also discovered that the only chines restaurant on Fresh Pond road near by is now closed, or hasn't opened yet.
I know I did something today but can't remember it. I remember leaving the house. I think I had something to say, to write, to remember, but it's all a blur. Made a mix. It was good. Oh yeah, I remember now it was something about CD's. Cd's are about as disposable as ¼ inch reels you see at swap meets, the mix tapes at the Salvation Army for 50 cents a pop. If you haven't seen them used at flea markets you will. Huge crates of them. masses of cast off ephemera waiting to be found at bargain prices.
Writing this at 3:30 in the morning so you know how my plan to try to get back to a "normal" schedule has been working out. My old man called me he has some thing to tell me about some job possibility somewhere and I'd have to do something. Wasn't really listening. Something will happen or it won't. I might start working at the office again. That wouldn't suck. The possibility of extra money while remote was nothing to sneeze at. I wonder if I should be declaring the weekly money I get from unemployment. I'll find out soon enough.
It's strange how easy it is to fall into old habits. Sitting around laying around getting high and just not doing anything at all. If I had the cash I would do this all the time. Just stay up till 4 five a clock in the morning sleep all fucking day get high go out drinking eat sushi, tacos or Chinese takeout everyday. It's not that expensive a lifestyle if you think about it supportable on less four grand a month. I just have to find a way to make 60 grand a year without actually doing anything. No problem.
It's 2:21 and I'm trying to get ready for bed. That's why I'm sitting in the kitchen smoking pot and drinking Coca-cola, because it will help me get ready. I tried to hook up my new coffee pot, but since it's a three prong I have nowhere to plug it in. I ended up unplugging my computer by accident. That was fun. So know I have my old coffee pot set up on a chair in the living room. No that I ever make coffee, but I need it for my bowl noodle soups that I've been living on recently.
Man, oh man that was one hell of a meal. 11 courses. Amy's birthday bash. Three types of humus, cheese, olives, fruit, eggplant rolitini, barbecued chicken sandwiches, puff pastry with cheese and fruit, homemade cupcakes and ice cream, along with Champaign cocktails, oh and pasta. It just kept coming and coming. By then end I thought I would pass out. I could barely stand. It was all so good. Amy's friends are pretty cool. I think I can have fun around with them. They may not know much about music but they are pretty clever. I must go to bed.
I just downloaded the core media player. I have been seeing a bunch of OGM files that have multiple streams either multiple audio or multiple audio and subtitles. The most recent were episodes or Ranma ½ and You're Under Arrest. Ranma episodes had both Subbed and dubbed audio and you could enable or disable the subtitles. The YUA had that and another modified sub track. Very cool. I have a lot of different media players, but none could handle these files. I played with a few ideas, but in the end the core player was the thing that worked best.
Sent off my taxes another thousand dollars I can't pay. Yipee. I'm writing this before midnight. I'm trying to mix it up. If I write it earlier I might have something interesting to say. I sure don't type any better. Watched the newest episodes of Angel and Buffy. I like getting the early wildfeeds. Don't get the previews for next episodes, but you do see them a day early and without any chance of annoying stations related crap. Very cool. So far the plotlines are heating up nicely. I'm sure they will fuck them up; it's what they do best.
Anyone who knows me know I enjoy shopping in megamarts like Cosco as much as I enjoy dental visits and audits which is not much. The surprise visit to Cosco for a folding table in exchange for a meal in place of a meal in Manhattan was most unwelcome. Can't say that they didn't try to move the crowds along with about 15 or so lines going at the cashiers, but with that many people and some with multiple cart nothing was going to help. They could have done a better job separating the shopping area from the paying area.
I know why these things happen to me. I really do and I accept it. I'm not a good person. I lie I cheat I'm lazy unmotivated selfish and ungrateful, needy and insecure and jealous. I only care about myself and what people can do for me, and would walk across a street to piss on a guy who was on fire, and that's why things like last tonight's Passover dinner happen. I hadn't even known it was Passover today until last night when I got to my parent's and would not have celebrated if I had been on own.
I ran out of words last night. Passover sucked, ‘nuff said. The next day I ate bread and pork. If the god of the Hebrews is really the almighty. I am seriously fucked. In fact I can't imagine an existing theology under which I would be admitted into paradise. I'm not going to die for a while yet and have plenty of time to "repent" for my sins. "I don't want my soul stepped on. I just want it rearranged." What can I say when it comes to religion I'm myopic. Jesus and Moses have been gone a long time.
I'm back in my crib and I couldn't be happier about that. I didn't get the table, but I still fell good about that. I didn't call Palmer like I was supposed to or get a hair cut or call Jessie from the Pour House or study. I'm on a fucking roll here. Also glad not to be using a decrepit Mac with a dial up modem. Blah Blah Blah. Watched the new Angel, it was good. New Enterprise is proving harder to watch. I will get around to it, but I have to watch some minigoddesses first. I'm out.
Wow it catches up on you last time I looked it was about 1 am and now it's 4:21. Time fucking flies. Walked over to Wyckoff and had some tacos. They we're really good. Picked up some flautas. Their still in the fridge. I took the train into the L.E.S. and bought some pot. I had paid of Con ed and the phone company and set up a payment arraignment for my taxes. I needed some drugs. I'm happy that I can find good tacos within walking distance. A Mexican place will be in the Linski space. Life is change.
I'm not sure I've mentioned this before, but I now have a DVD burner. Yes it is very cool, and I am now just one step away or two if I decide at some point I need a scanner, unlikely, yes, but not impossible, from achieving my ultimate goal in regards to my computer set up. I wanted a new computer. Have new computer, wanted more storage; got external drive. Wanted better archive; got DVD burner, all that remains is the video capture card. I'm pretty sure I don't need a better sound card. I can synch my Mini-disc USB.
My original words, which I wrote mere hours ago were lost. I e-mailed them to my Bell Atlantic account from my Netscape account and they are now lost. I swear that my original words where a pillar or strength and beauty a stunning display of vibrant truth and joy a source of comfort for lost souls for the all ages, and not I repeat another entry of whining and self indulgent navel gazing, but alas they are lost to us, and all I have are the sad memory of having written such awful beauty. I will leave it at this.
I sometimes question the morality of my actions, no really, I'm not kidding I actually wonder sometimes I behave correctly. Should I spend the money my dad gives me for school books on drugs and buy my books used only at the moment I really need them if I don't get them from the school library. Is it right to spend my unemployment money which is meant to pay my bills on computer equipment and drugs. I say yes it is good, but then again do what they will shall be the whole of the law, or whatever he said.
So I just lost my main band for the party I was going to throw. I will have to reschedule for sure now. Oh well, it will work out eventually. I just start watching Neon Genesis Evangelion; it's pretty cool. I can definitely see why people get so into it. I've seen the first seven and will download the rest. I have a few of the director's cut episodes near the end of the series. I just need 8-21 and the last two. I've also watched a few episodes of Chobits, also very cool. Tomorrow I will wake up early!
I should be in bed. I really should 2:35 A.M. I really can't think of a good reason to be awake. I can't really think at all. It's just enough that I can type these words. I can form enough words and thoughts to drive my fingers to the keys and to make sure that what I think I'm typing is what I'm typing, and I can't really do them at the same time. My head hurts and I'd just as much rather I not be doing this but I think I should and so I am. It's over now.
Is my total alienation from the world a bad thing? The phone never rings I reactive no email and speak to no one, unless it's to buy drugs or pay a cabbie or delivery person. The government pays for it all. Except for the stipend I get for my dad so he can call me up and tell me how disappointed he is in me, and if you want to pay me 165 dollars a week you can do it to. But is this a bad thing. A life without people bothering you or asking for things can be boring.
Got a new connection for weed. That's always good. Connections come and go. I've bought pot now from so many people. Rachel, Tom the Eagle guys, we deliver, that friend of Giancarlo's I traveled al the way on the F train I think, that boyfriend of somebody Mat worked with that cheap as weed, Bonafide, Kenny, that guy Sammy, my sister friend I bought from a few times, oh yeah that guy from my old job, and a bunch more one times and now George. George has good weed. Better then I've been getting recently. Fresher stronger and better tasting.
I bought my first new DVD's today. I got Magnolia, Ghost World and The first Cowboy Bebop disc. Now I think I need a new monitor. It just doesn't seem crisp. Granted whenever I got it was adequate, but now it's big and lacks definition. Time has passed it by. Ok so what I want is way more expensive then the rest of my components put together, but it would be great. Granted I don't have room for a twenty-five inch screen anywhere, but I want one. What I will be will probably been a seventeen inch L.C.D. Oh well.
I've started my DVD collection. I think mentioned the first couple I got. I picked up The GBV disc: "The Who went home and cried," and the Daria movie "Is it college yet." I watched a little bit of the GBV and both of the bonus episodes on the Daria disc: Lucky Strike and Boxing Daria. That didn't look quite as good as the Cowboy Bebop which I guess is not a surprise. Now of course I've got to figure out where to put them as well as the stuff I bought from Jeff at his going away sale. Late.
Watched tomorrow nights buffy. I have to reiterate how cool it is that people are postings the episodes so quick and nice 400meg+ encodes. Real nice and crisp with rich color. . That said what went on in the episode was pretty wack. Buffy's plan was insane because unless something's changed confronting Caleb again with no plan isn't such a great idea however throwing Buffy out with no place to go was inexplicable and cruel. I think Buffy has been unreasonable and crazy for most of the last season but haven't joined the ranks of people who want her dead.
Sometimes it's hard to believe things are happening to you. Not talking about being on fire running down the street, or facing a death squad during a coup, being locked up by the US government without due process kinds of fucked up shit. I'm talking about being with your family on your birthday and having you family argues politics while you sit there mute for four hours and then have them ask for an apology because you didn't give them part of you desert kind of strange. My sister spent hours calling my brother juvenile and then burst into tears.
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