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09/01 Direct Link
I had intended to talk to Mark and Allison about how I hadn't registered for class yet. I have been telling everyone that I had registered but that I didn't know which section I was going to be in. Of course this is bullshit. I just screwed up, had to do late registration and with language it's almost impossible to get an overtalley. I seem to remember it being easier to get them a few years ago, but whatever. I think I'll be ok. It would have been nice to have someone to talk to but what can you do.
09/02 Direct Link
I'm very torn about the whole baby thing. I admit they are devastatingly cute, and there is something very satisfying about making them happy or laugh, but on the downside it is impossible to understand what their trying to say, and they are mercurial in their modes. Children are not stoic about anything, and have no attention span. It's just so fucking true. Their happy happy, then their crying and the cycle repeats every three minutes. Also little kids are disgusting to watch eat. More food ends up on them then in them. Wow. Kids are most trying but worthwhile.
09/03 Direct Link
I finally have my class. The professor agreed to give all the over tallies for the Tuesday Thursday Spanish class and so I'm in. I was real worried. I had a feeling he would when I spoke to him Saturday. I always kind of knew that I would get something for the semester, but it could have gone the other way right quick. So I'm glad I don't have to worry about it anymore. Damn I'm tired to nights in a row I'll be in bed be fore 11:00, no that I'm complaining it's just strange. Another fucking work week.
09/04 Direct Link
I didn't realize today was going to be such a crappy day. Sure I was at work and Phyllis was getting on my case, but that was nothing unusual. After work I went to my dad's office completely forgetting I was supposed to be at home to meet up with Steve. Fuck. Then I checked my messages and the machine was full so the guy from school couldn't leave a message. Fuck, and then I heard all the messages from Jim. How did I not hear the phone ring I was here that whole day? Fuck. A shitty fucking day.
09/05 Direct Link
Insomnia, not just a movie. I don't understand why I have such a hard time sleeping since I enjoy it so much. I really like to sleep, but have such a terrible to falling a sleep. I always have every since I can remember anything I've tossed and turned. Of course I also got heartburn for the first time at 7 so I'm not sure what to think but I am going to be a zombie tomorrow. At least their isn't much to do at the office. Fuck them all anyway. I just wish I could get a few hours.
09/06 Direct Link
Today was a mixed bag. Not very busy at the office, but you can feel a ramping up. As if the organization was waking up. More appeals, docs waivers and mainly phone calls. Principals, AP, school secretaries payroll secretaries, appellants and probationers. All calling for advice, or clarification. Did we send docs, do we need to send docs? Does the Principal need to come to the hearing if he wasn't the rating officer and all sorts of I just don't understand questions. Yep school is open and the flood will begin soon. This will become very interesting in two weeks.
09/07 Direct Link
I guess it was bound to happen. I was standing on Metropolitan and a bus came up just as I was standing there. Usually I end up waiting twenty minutes or more, but this time it was just about a minute or two. That was great. Dinner was great as usually. Matzha(I should know how to spell this, but that looks wrong. Oh well) ball soup, and beef stew. Both very good. A nice kick off for 5763. What also was special was the guys talking to themselves of the way to and from the bus. It was all good.
09/08 Direct Link
I had plans for today. Definite things that we to be accomplished. They did not get done. Ok so I did eat and download MP3's and I did watch the Lord of the Rings DVD I borrowed two weeks ago, and a few other little things did get accomplished, but I did not do my homework, nor did I get my laundry. The second one was not my fault. I wanted, well, I didn't want to do my work, but I really felt to crappy to even think about it. I felt like I never woke up all day. Sucks.
09/09 Direct Link
Today was another day. I thought about writing a poem about how the cats and dogs you see in posters are really dead, and how there supposed to be all happy and everything. It's really sad how to get those cute poses they use dead animals and its really depressing. I was looking at this pet catalog and thought how I couldn't tell just by looking if the animals were alive when the pictures were taken or dead and how the people who buy from this store probably love animals and then how sad that those animals could be dead.
09/10 Direct Link
I'll get back to the sad dog poem tomorrow I swear, but tonight I had Spanish class. It's like I never took the subject before, like I've never spoken English before. I sit there my third time through with a slack jaw lack of understanding. Just hoping he won't ask my anything. Not only do I not know that answers I'm never even sure what I don't know the answers to. He says the same things over and over hello, how are you, where are you from, what are you wearing, and I hear nothing. This is my hell. Fuck.
09/11 Direct Link
I slept in yesterday morning and felt great. Did my homework eventually and went to class. So, of course as I mentioned class fucking sucked and was a horrific nightmare of epic proportions. So I got home and while I had been feeling exhausted I ended up getting no sleep. I'm just trying to stay up late enough so I don't wake up at sometime around 4:00am. Also I'm remembering why I almost never try to download anything large from my newsgroups. They are jus not reliable enough. One missing segment and the whole archive is no good. Oh well.
09/12 Direct Link
Another day that sucked. Phyllis will die by my hands. It just has to happen. The bitch does not know how to behave. I don't think she understands how close I am to hitting her. I know I could kill her and there isn't anything anyone could do to stop me. I'm sure she has no idea how on my bad side she has gotten. She should just shut her fucking mouth and get through her last year and retire. Damn, it makes going to work such a chore having to deal with her. At least the days end eventually.
09/13 Direct Link
I'm here. I'm already bored. No satellite. No DSL. I already feel trapped. Got some Chinese food. The usual. Chicken teriyaki, beef on stick, boneless spareribs and rice. I'm planning to try to make fried rice. Maybe tomorrow. I should have gotten scallions, but whatever. I ate and retreated to the upstairs. Damn there is a reason I never got a pet. I don't want to pay attention to the dog. It's only a matter of time before the fucking cat starts bothering me. I just can't take it. I talked to Amy that was nice. What a shitty day.
09/14 Direct Link
Slept late it was nice. Made a steak. It's nice not having to pay for food while I am here. It's the money that brings me out here. Maybe with the food and the hundred bucks to be here I can make it through the week and pay the bills. I hate it but I really can use the money. It sucks being here with out the drugs. Oh and I still hate AOL. Having to use an iMac with AOL drives me up the wall. It is just such a come down from my new Dell with my DSL.
09/15 Direct Link
It is fast day and the start of the new season of the Soprano's. This is a sign from somewhere. I Made fried rice. It was a fast meal last night. Had the rest of the spare ribs for lunch and had the second steak for dinner. Fir sine reason in the afternoon I wanted to make cookies and so I did. My first time solo baking. It was stressful. It turned out almost completely successful except I used unsweetened instead of semi-sweet chocolate and that really fucked things up. But at least I know I can make decent cookies.
09/16 Direct Link
I'm waiting to go to the Rosen's house. I don't really like them. Their dull in my opinion and I don't like going to their home. Not that I dislike them. I don't dislike them but I never want to be in a small group with them because I have nothing to say to them. Today was another in a long line of ugly dust ups with the folks. I spent days at their house and what is the first thing they say to me when they get home. You need a shower. How fucking nice. What a fucking greeting.
09/17 Direct Link
Today was another day. School was on Monday schedule so I didn't need to be there, but I did register for the language lab and get the first tape. I also found out about when the test will be, and got some study ideas. I also found out the student tutor center has no Spanish tutors. That was not great. I got my id updated, and had some mediocre pizza. Another day has passed. What else happened? I downloaded Direct Connect. I may play with it tonight. Oh and Jeff's package went out. I feel very stressed out. This sucks.
09/18 Direct Link
I forgot to turn on my alarm clock. I do that occasionally. I had intended to do some studying, but I didn't I just sat around and did nothing and ate. I started feeling real tired around 2 and by that point any idea of studying went right out of my head. It was kind of pathetic. I watched a bunch of Ranma, and just vegetated. I dig it. I think I'll really enjoy watching the rest of the episodes I have on my hard drive. I also downloaded most of the first two seasons of Family Guy. Pretty cool.
09/19 Direct Link
Another in a long series of days with no end in sight. Went to work went to school came home feeling dead. It makes me hate most everything. Though there are things that give satisfaction. Small as they may be. I put in the paperwork to have my direct deposit go to my new checking account. I will find out if my savings has been connected to it. My slow move towards financial independence has been established. When I finally pay off Chase, and Con Ed. I can think about trying to pay my rent own my own. Oh well.
09/20 Direct Link
Another in a long series of days with no end in sight. Went to work went to school came home feeling dead. It makes me hate most everything. Though there are things that give satisfaction. Small as they may be. I put in the paperwork to have my direct deposit go to my new checking account. I will find out if my savings has been connected to it. My slow move towards financial independence has been established. When I finally pay off Chase, and Con Ed. I can think about trying to pay my rent own my own. Oh well.
09/21 Direct Link
I was looking at a copy of one of the issues of Rolling Stone, a thoroughly. awful publication, I get from Steven. It had a 9/11 feature with all these oddly chosen celebs. If Jimmy Buffet has a connection to New York It truly eludes me. But what struck me was a picture they had of Church St. At fist I didn't recognize it. I had thought it was someplace nearby but different, and then I realized what I was looking at, and was shocked. It got my thinking how things would have been different had I still work there.
09/22 Direct Link
I don't know what it is about my school work that makes it impossible for me to actually do it. It's not so bad when I'm doing it. I almost enjoy it, but I can't bring myself to do it. I know it's important and that not getting it done doesn't make it any better, but I'm sitting doing almost anything else but my school work. It's fucking insane, and yet it's not a new thing. I keep thinking I'll change and be more responsible. But that's never happened. I guess I'll get to it tomorrow. Yeah, sure I will.
09/23 Direct Link
It's true I should be working on my Spanish homework, but I'm not. I've been listening to music wishing I was high. Been doing that a lot. I think I'll buy a bag soon. I've been working my debt to Tom down got it down to $150. I've been trying to pay off all my debts. I got the letter from Capitol One. Next is Citibank, Con Ed and my final tax, Verizon, AT&T, and some other minor other obligations as far as I can remember. If all goes well I can get to the New Year with only Aspire.
09/24 Direct Link
I've been thinking that I've been coming to this campus for along time, and I'm not sure when it happened but I feel no connection to this place. I know that it's not true, but without staying in a dorm or getting an apartment her it truly is like going there and then leaving. I haven't been in a group, or had an activity in years. Get in and get out, but since I'm their so often it's been a part of my life. I do not know it well, but I have my routines. This place will stay me.
09/25 Direct Link
I was supposed to go over to Matt's place tonight to check on Louis. I did not. I had intended to come and study. I didn't. I was just going to eat dinner and do some studying. I haven't. I just sat and did nothing. Didn't move, didn't study I ate dinner. I downloaded a couple of episodes of Family Guy, but I didn't check on Louis and I didn't study for my Spanish exam. I don't suppose I will do well on my Spanish exam. It has become a comfort that my lowest score will be dropped. I'm fucked.
09/26 Direct Link
I had my test today, and I wasn't completely lost. That is not to say I did well just that things could have gone a lot worse. Their was only one section that I was mostly lost which is bad because it was the section making sentences with the verb ser. I have to know this. I also made a mistake using tiene instead of llevar. I said the person had certain pieces of clothing instead do they were wearing them. I'll know more next class when I get the test and the homework back. Can't think about it now.
09/27 Direct Link
Now comes the fear part. Waiting to hear about how I did, and dealing with people asking me how I think I did. I think I did badly. I know I tend to grade myself more harshly then my teachers do. I always think I should get a lower grade then I did. I think I would be very unpopular as teacher I would great very harshly. I won't know how I did for a few days, and I just don't want to talk about it. At least it's Friday and I won't have to go to work tomorrow. Yeah.
09/28 Direct Link
I know I should do it, but I did it anyway. After work yesterday to cheer myself up I went to the Chinese restaurant next to my dad's office. At one point he told me that if I didn't abuse it I could go there and charge food. I do it about once or twice a month. I go there usually on Fridays to get through the weekend. Usually when he says that he doesn't mean, but so far he hasn't said a thing. I did it for Matt and I, and I still do it. It's been a help.
09/29 Direct Link
Things become clich├ęs because they are true. Weekends are just too short. Saturday I don't want to do a fucking thing, and just lay around, and if I do anything I'm so tried I almost can't enjoy it. It's enough time to be frustrating about what to do, but not enough time to do anything major, not that I'd want to do anything anyway. Sunday is just as bad especially since I have no energy everything makes me tired. Just sitting around or trying to do anything I just don't want to. I guess I need to get out more.
09/30 Direct Link
I really thought things would get better when the hearings started, but I'm still sitting around with nothing to do. Work is such a fucking drag now. I almost miss Bob. Virginia is losing her mind, and with Joann not wanting to do anything and Pat either sick, or smoking or just not around it gets frustrating real quick. When there is any work Phyllis is a total ass. It no just her hypocrisy its her inability to handle any pressure she is almost as bad as Virginia. She complains we have so much work, but we really don't. Fuck.