06/01 Direct Link
Summer starts perfect weather for sun worshippers. I am tanner than usual which I like. Great Singapore sale holidays.. Bliss. Kind gestures by total strangers are great pick me ups. They put a smile on your face and remind you that people are not all that bad. Sometimes when it feels like you are losing faith in people- something happens and changes that. I guess God is still watching over me in spite of all that's happened in the past few days. Maybe its renewed faith time? Start of a more positive start of the second half of the year?
06/02 Direct Link
Giant red ants scurry along the sharp metal fence- moving away from the humans- while looking for food. The sun beating down on their red hot backs- vicious ants survive the heat. Hundreds of them make their way along the hot metal fence - not realizing a gardener standing there watching, getting ready to spray them to their death. Unknowing to the gardener a strayed giant ant moves closely up his feet into his pants- a sharp pain penetrates the gardener as he falls to the ground grimacing in pain as the giant red ands watches savoring their victory. Sweet success.
06/03 Direct Link
The oxygen machine pumps - making noises that sounds like a thick hiss and thump- dispensing oxygen via a thin tube to the receiving person - the crucial oxygen to help them breathe. This clear odorless gas a life saver - an aid. Sitting close to them you can feel the cool air and smell it a little. A rare smell. Oxygen all around us yet we take it for granted. What would happen if the oxygen around us was just stripped away? Scary thought. Watching how the oxygen aids us - maybe its time to make more attention to our surroundings. Our world.
06/04 Direct Link
Porcelain skin soft like a baby's. Beautiful white hair with streaks of gold, black and browns - laying there peacefully as she drifts into a slumber. Lost in her world - dreaming of people gone and places far off. She wakes up occasionally uttering a word or two- asking about those who have pass, calling out their names. Awake her smile radiant, her sense of humor surprising yet amazing. Her passion unbeatable. Her care and concern for those who visit her - rare. That's my grandmother - sweet Aishah as she lays not able to do much but fight and live day by day.
06/05 Direct Link
When you start on new project - it seems like its tough you wonder how you are ever going to make it - and if you will make it but after looking back at it you realize wow I did it I actually did it - and it didn't seem so bad. This is the case for my 100 words. I made it two months straight - things get easier with time probably because you get into the hang of it. I am proud of myself - actually finished something though everyday seems like a struggle and you feel like you are being pulled down.
06/06 Direct Link
I wonder if would be crazy to keep a monkey as a pet. I live in an apartment building - I am sure the monkeys would have enough height to climb up and down plus there is a nice park garden downstairs - a monkey heaven I tell you. Monkeys are cute - kind of like humans . They have this cute puppy dog eyes that just warms you. Probably sounds like I am talking about a baby but I am talking about them cute furry primates who Darwin claim are our ancestors. That's one debate that will go on for a while.
06/07 Direct Link
Bus rides are fun especially when you pass open fields and villages. It takes you away from city life - it is for sure relaxing. Malaysian roads has its share of beautiful scenery especially when you travel at night. When you are out in the open you can catch a millions of stars in the sky - and its just so magical - its as if you feel you are not in your own place. Sometimes it looks like from a distance its Malaysia's version of the Northern Lights or some deserted place where an alien life form lives. Fly imagination fly .....
06/08 Direct Link
Shouldn't soy milk at all Starbucks store be the same? I wish it was. Not really the case though - so as much as I didn't want to I made myself drink down my double tall soy latte even though it didn't taste the same. But I guess as long as the espresso shots are done right I shouldn't complain. I am a self proclaimed Starbucks addict - only for its warm drinks and on occasion its green tea frappacino and on a good day the caramel macciato. Homer Simpsons ummmm beer I say ummmm Starbucks. Time on work on coffee spelling.
06/09 Direct Link
When you watch people get married you can't help but cry. During the ceremony my hair just stood on end for some reason. Unity of two souls which hopefully will last till death do they part. While the whole ceremony is going on - your mind drifts to your own picture perfect wedding (with the man of your dreams)- the wedding and all that follows after. It's so true that it's hard work to plan a wedding even harder to keep a marriage going. The same amount of handwork should be put into both the wedding and the marriage. Forever after.
06/10 Direct Link
Why do inspirations come in clusters? Why can't the muse visit everyday? My life and creative process would so much happier. I wonder if I have to share my muse with some other person who is writing? I'm selfish and there care certain things in life I don't like sharing and one of them is my muse. Writing keeps me focused and when I am focused I am more productive and I have the capacity to block certain thoughts out a while. But when I am not writing I feel like a lost soul walking a path with no end.
06/11 Direct Link
Sometimes it feels like a little faith and self help can really get you out of stagnant point in your life. Stagnant points occasionally sometimes but it's really something that we shouldn't fret over. I think the rut gives me time to reflect slow down. And I think wanting to change ones ways and actions also helps you get pass that. When you feel you are not doing anything and you are no heading anywhere - remind yourself its ok - it is not the end of the world. Things will pick up. Didn't they say every cloud has a silver lining?
06/12 Direct Link
Ruts. Sometimes we are rut rats - only we don't have much fun as the rug rats do. When you are in a rut and have so many things to do and you can't seem to get off your ass to do it - your get so depressed and you don't know what to do. I think during this time its good to shift your attention so something else - like a book , walking and of course a whole lot of praying and hoping. A diversion always does the trick so does vegging out. Take it as a r & r time.
06/13 Direct Link
Vegging out does not make you lazy. Once in a while its ok too especially when you are in a rut I tend to be on my feet a lot when that happens - maybe cooking or cleaning two of my favorite things - sometimes I think I am qualified to be known as the domestic goddess. Not wanting to sound arrogant or anything but I do a damn good job among other things. I think it's the whole sense of accomplishment you when you see your home all clean tidy and nice smelling and that new recipe you tried actually worked.
06/14 Direct Link
When the moon wanes, I notice that my energy level gets lower and I get tired more - I believe the moon does have an impact on our emotions and physical self.. If it can have such a profound impact on the tides imagine us mere mortals. So sometimes its nice to blame things on the moon as crazy as that may sound. I feel that when the current cycle ends it takes away with it all the negative energies and bad karma that seem to befall us. When the new moon cycle begins we start fresh - all ready to roll.
06/15 Direct Link
I see an old lady sitting on a rocking chair on the surface of the moon. When I was little I always though she was the keeper of the moon - a child's imagination. But as I get older I see the same thing - strike away ideas of craters and what not there seriously is someone there. When the full moon turns a little orange or red it seems like she is angry and when it's a natural silvery grey she is happy. Question is who causes her mood swings? Could she in turn doing that to us? What a mystery!
06/16 Direct Link
I like being a regular at Starbucks . They remember you by name and your orders too. Makes me feel loved. Wonder what it says about me - umm maybe needing a place to belong - sometimes I think it sounds pathetic but I think everyone in the world feels that way and seriously if anyone says NO they are in DENIAL. Early morning, before work needing that pick me up - you go to your favorite coffee haunt and they greet you and get your order ready even before you ask for it. Makes a pricey coffee worth it that's for sure.
06/17 Direct Link
I came from some where cold. I don't have details of my birth but I wonder.. I wonder how she felt must have been a norm for her seeing she had many other children before me. I am glad I was given up for adoption if there is one thing she did right that was it. To me she was just someone who brought me into this world and my adopted parents are my blood parents. I wonder why I am thinking about this. maybe because tomorrow is fathers day and I am not too thrilled about my biological father.
06/18 Direct Link
My father passed away - so Father's Day is just another day. Though sometimes it saddens me seeing me the rest of them with fathers. It's a hard day for "c' too because he lost his father just last year. I hope he is doing ok well and his sisters too. It's only been a few months so the wound is still fresh for them. I pray they are ok. I miss my father, his smile especially. Maybe he is around in spirit this father's day and the only present I can give him is my love and a special prayer.
06/19 Direct Link
It must be nice being expecting parents. Watching the baby grow in the womb anticipating the birth, preparing for the big day, picking out baby names. Such a joy. And doing up the babies room, getting a crib and baby clothes. I wish I will get the chance to experience that someday. All that extra weight they put is not even an issues because after nine months the bundle of joy emerges and lives are changed forever for the better. Imagine owning your own human being. Getting the chance to love and care for one of life's most precious gifts.
06/20 Direct Link
Have you ever wondered how a beautiful flower like the rose with its many colors and beautiful scent has so many thorns on it? It is as if it's protecting itself from being bothered or touched. It is as if it's saying I am protecting myself but if you dare pluck me from this rose bush and risk getting pricked then it would be worth your while for you have in your possession a priceless beauty. The rose petals acquired from a rose now lies on the floor of the wedding hall. Step on and trampled upon after being used.
06/21 Direct Link
New experiences r always strange, a fear of the unknown n what ifs and what not yet the mystery is usually unraveled with the passing of time. Love doesn't need time to emerge. Hearts are waiting to unite .Emotions are waiting to be shared. Life waiting to be lived. Two souls waiting to embrace.. Kisses waiting to be shared. Skin waiting to be brushed. Passions rising. Eyes waiting to meet. Our fingers waiting to intertwined. Oceans waiting to be crossed. Discoveries of a whole new world waiting to be made. Love waiting to be made. New life ready to unfold.
06/22 Direct Link
Where did all that mush come from? I surprise myself sometimes. I can go from serious to funny to philosophical and then down right mushy. I think I have my mood swings to thank for that and not forgetting that being a Pisces in its own way contributes. That sure explains how the week has been. But I like it - at least I know if I was an actress I can probably bring my character alive in a matter of minutes. If the director say be happy I am there and say cry you know it. Miss Many Moods lives.
06/23 Direct Link
It is World Cup fever everywhere. Sitting here I can hear neighbors cheering on their favorite teams and the shouts of ‘goal' when a team scores. Yes football mania has hit home and there is nothing we can do about it. When I am in town I can see people wearing football jerseys belonging to their favorite teams. Big screen televisions are at the big malls. Even McDonald's have gotten into the action. They have matches on flat screen televisions every night. For us who are not into it - it's high time we do because I think we're missing out.
06/24 Direct Link
The World Cup is phenomenal. I have heard of people who have taken one month leave from work just to watch the world cup. Because of he time difference between Asia and Europe matches go on late into the night. Lack of sleep means productivity goes down what better way to curb it then to take leave. What surprises me is that they are given that time off. But I guess why not celebrate a sporting event that happens only once every four years and watching a bunch of cuties running across the field chasing a ball isn't so bad.
06/25 Direct Link
End of my school holidays - tomorrow the work week starts for me. Today would be eight months of knowing ‘C'. Sweet ‘C'. I wonder if he is back home or still in Iraq. Last time I ‘heard' from him I was sleeping but I received an offline. That upset me because I didn't get a chance to talk to him. I really miss him a lot and since then and before that it's been days of constant wonderings. Sometimes you wish you can forget or let go. Seems like the more you try the more it resists. Welcome to life.
06/26 Direct Link
New moon cycle. New beginnings at least I tell myself. Keep it positive and not give up even when life spring surprises. ‘C' was on he is back so I am happy. Flu attacked so I missed the first day of school after a long month vacation. But I guess it isn't all that bad. I got the answer to what I have been wondering about - caught up on some work and my colleague from work called giving me the details of the day. How I miss the kids cant wait to get over this flu and see them again.
06/27 Direct Link
Emergency make up cum toiletries bag and an overnighter - a must when you have sick relatives living in another state or country. I have never cared for it much until recently when packing and unpacking got really tiring so I figured why not be prepared in this case all I have to is pick up and go and come to think of it this applies to both good and bad occasions seeing how I often I travel to Malaysia. Right now it's hanging next do dressing table. Probably an odd thing to look at and wonder about but that's me.
06/28 Direct Link
Women who run with wolves - my booked has gone beyond its years. When I bought it was this dark fresh looking lady now it seems to have aged yet holding tight to the knowledge that it offers. Some what like being a woman - we live we learn and share our experience yet we age so gracefully - aging is natural. As human age only natural that books do too. The pages have turned a light yellow color and it does show much it has been handled (like a life well lived) and it remains to date one of my favorite book
06/29 Direct Link
What if a different path was taken? What if I was man? What if tomorrow is today and today is yesterday? As we live life we are often faced with the whole what if - could it be regret or are we just merely looking back. Should there even be a what if - I think its inevitable - no matter how careful we choose our paths we always tend to look back and wonder about the things that we should have done. We say maybe in the next lifetime - but sometimes I wonder if the next lifetime offers the same options.
06/30 Direct Link
I think I'm hooked on chewing gum. I am out of gum and it feels like I am having gum withdrawals. I wonder if they have a support group for that. Chewing gum is actually good - I love the smell it gives out - that minty sharp smell. Takes me away sometimes. I like the exercise it gives the mouth - its probably good practice for the prevention of locked jaws and I do believe it's like a mouth exercise. I remembered there having ad add for that some years back. Sweet chewing gum how I miss you. I need some!!!!!!!!!!!