BY Edward

05/01 Direct Link
May Day – originally a pagan holiday signifying the beginning of summer. The Maypole is one of the celebrations derived from this day. What I’d forgotten is that its roots are associated with Walpurgis Night, which these days is essentially an excuse to have a big-ass bonfire.

What I did not is that today is also associated with the International Worker’s Day, which for most countries is also known as Labour Day. Because of Cold War hysteria, the United States government calls today Loyalty Day, even though the celebration of Labour Day began in America.

For most people, it’s just Thursday.
05/02 Direct Link
The fun and excitement begins at 4 today. I’m leaving an hour early so Rachel and I can get a head start on our trip to Warren, OH. We have a birthday party to go to.

The trip up should be good, but I still have to pack up the stuff for the dog – food, dish, toys, crate, etc. That can take longer than expected. And then once I’m ready to go, with the dog, of course, I go pick up Rachel and then we’re on our way north! Not sure if we’ll stop at a hotel along the way.
05/03 Direct Link
Morning dew stains tired feet The sun is not yet eye A crack in the sky will soon appear And a new day will begin

Night’s end is the way of things It gives way to new beginnings We often go where others trod In search of forgotten adventures

The breeze of dawn sweeps in To start anew what today brings We have a chance to make of it as we wish Make the most of what is offered

Peace be to you and yours Live your life as you please Tomorrows come and go Let the past stay yesterday
05/04 Direct Link
Our niece had a birthday party today. She seemed to enjoy herself, to that’s good. It is interesting being an adult and going to a child’s party. It is a new experience for me.

When I have a child of my own, I know it will be different. Then I will be the parent of the birthday boy or girl, or the parent of a guest. A bond will form between the parents; we all know what it means to be here. Until then, I am an observer – almost an intruder into a world I do not belong to yet.
05/05 Direct Link
Cinco de Mayo – a day where, in the past, I’ve had lots of cerveza and maybe even a margarita or two. And then there’s the tequila! Can we say bad hangover?

This year, though, I didn’t do anything – no drinking, no frivolity. Maybe now that I’m married those things are of the past. Nonsense – I say! But the fact of the matter is why use a certain day of the year to drink? Any day is a good day for a pint, a shot – whatever floats your boat.

Funny thing is, I don’t drink as much as I used to.
05/06 Direct Link
Rachel and I saw Iron Man tonight. It is probably the best comic book movie to date. The actors, the action, the comedy, the “secret” clip at the end of the movie – I really can’t think of anything negative to say. Robert Downey Jr. was well-cast as Tony Stark. It probably didn’t hurt that Downey’s off-screen demons complemented Stark’s.

In the Marvel pipeline, Captain America, Thor, an Iron Man 2, and the Avengers are all slated for the next few years. Plus with a remade Incredible Hulk, it will be interesting to see what the future of comic movies holds.
05/07 Direct Link
I know I should write but I really do not want to. The voices tell me to. Do I listen to them or do I ignore them? Which is more perilous? Does Frosty have these kinds of problems? Then again, what does a snowman know? He can’t stand the heat!

Tinker wicker, blue spit bibs. The fiddle faddle of ochre somber dreams wafts through smoky skies to a greener haze. Asphalt jungles give way to concrete warriors. Tender moon yon solace seek! Be meek, be bold – you will never know the truth.

Bah humbug – who am I trying to fool?
05/08 Direct Link
Why is it so difficult for me to write sometimes? Why is it so difficult for me to write sometimes? Why is it so difficult for me to write sometimes? Why is it so difficult for me to write sometimes? Why is it so difficult for me to write sometimes? Why is it so difficult for me to write sometimes? Why is it so difficult for me to write sometimes? Why is it so difficult for me to write sometimes? Why is it so difficult for me to write sometimes? Why is it so difficult for me to write sometimes?
05/09 Direct Link
Behold the unexpected – you can never prepare for it but it sneaks up on you and bites you when you least need to be troubled by horrors and pain. The future is never what you think it will be and it does not matter what plans you make – the future will unfold as it will. Even the things you think you have control over can dissipate by the actions of others.

Who knows what I am babbling about? I know I sure don’t. I just open up my mind and see what happens. Sometimes it makes sense; other times not.
05/10 Direct Link
The big black dog peered out with yellow eyes in a night devoid of light. The sounds of evening shade dimmed as shrieks pierce the thin veil of summer’s haze. Who roams the dark roads, unseen trails that criss-cross the unknown recesses of civilization? What evil lurks there are makes us still believe in monsters? Have all our heroes moved on to greener vales, telling tall tales of all their past glory? Who will rise forth and make us believe again? The hope unseen is worth championing, but we have become a tired people. We are complacent with our doom.
05/11 Direct Link
Mother’s Day was special this year. Although it hasn’t quite been a year since the stroke, today makes a good day to reflect on the changes of the past year. As usual, my mom was treated to her favorite brunch at the Palm Court in the Netherland. But Rachel and I also got her a nice card and a couple of gifts. It has been a difficult year for my mother so she was entitled to a bit of pampering.

Within a year or two I will celebrate this day with my wife. Mother’s Day will then hold new meaning.
05/12 Direct Link
Uninspired to paint, uninspired to write – what am I to do? What holds me back? Fear? A lack of ambition or motivation? There is no reason why I could not make time to do either, and yet I always have a reason to do something else – even if it is nothing at all. Where has my passion fled to that I fail to find it? How can a creative person exist when he lacks desire to create? What must happen first in order for the barriers to come down so I can bombard the canvas and paper with wondrous imagery?
05/13 Direct Link
Boo-hoo! I need to snap out of it! What stays my hand so I lack the will to take chances? Why has my desire failed me when at other times I take risks that others fail to take? Where have I gone wrong? Did my brain make a wrong turn somewhere along my? Has my heart receded into itself, shut away from raw, uninhibited impulse?

I guess the first step in any resolution is to admit there is a problem. Well, problem admitted. Now, how do I go about fixing the problem? Words alone won’t cure me of my ailment?
05/14 Direct Link
Tonight we saw “Ella” at Playhouse in the Park. It was a great show. I was familiar with some of her music but making a play out of her life was interesting. You glimpse snippets into the life of the person; you go beyond the music, the performer. You start tapping out the beat and get into the music. You forget about the world for a couple hours as you find yourself captivated by a powerful voice.

This was the last show of the season. I hope next season is just as good. Based on the lineup, it will be.
05/15 Direct Link
My wife and mother were supposed to see Isabella Rossellini tonight as part of the Smart Talk Lecture Series. My mother went but Rachel was unable to attend. We all met for dinner and had some wonderful food but it something in it did not agree with Rachel. So I drove her home and we snuggled on the bed before packing for our trip tomorrow.

I love my wife and want the best for her, so it bothers me when she is not feeling well and there is nothing I can do for her. Other than be there for her.
05/16 Direct Link
Our journey to Conneaut began this morning although we found out earlier this week that the grandparents will be in Cleveland most of today, so it is off to Warren we went. We will drive to Conneaut tomorrow. As usual, Rachel and I saw the kiddies right away. After dropping off the bags at the house, we went to do some shopping. And watch the kids play in the play area at the mall. We went out to dinner at O’Charleys. It is amazing how much energy it takes to look after two small children – Rachel and I are exhausted.
05/17 Direct Link
We were off to see the grandparents today. Since we weren’t going to spend the whole weekend with them anyway, Rachel and I decided to leave for Cincinnati on Saturday and stay in a hotel. That way we would have Sunday to relax at home.

Anyway, the visit was good – we went and out grabbed lunch at a local diner. Since it was raining we brought it back to the house. Maybe one day when the sun is shining we’ll go there again and eat. Although the visit was short, we made the most of it.

Relaxing at the hotel…
05/18 Direct Link
Another stay in Mansfield and then it was off for home. Don’t forget the outlet mall! It made for a nice respite on a casual Sunday afternoon. It was not quite shop ‘til you drop, especially not with a puppy in tow! But we did buy those things we had need of. Or desired to own. In today’s society, we were just doing our part to keep the economy going – that mighty war machine called commerce. After all, that’s life, liberty, and the American way right there – spend what you don’t have, work to pay off what you didn’t need.
05/19 Direct Link
Ah, the doom and gloom of another Monday! How nice!
the doom and gloom of another Monday! How nice! Ah,
doom and gloom of another Monday! How nice! Ah, the
and gloom of another Monday! How nice! Ah, the doom
gloom of another Monday! How nice! Ah, the doom and
of another Monday! How nice! Ah, the doom and gloom
another Monday! How nice! Ah, the doom and gloom of
Monday! How nice! Ah, the doom and gloom of another
How nice! Ah, the doom and gloom of another Monday!
nice! Ah, the doom and gloom of another Monday! How
05/20 Direct Link
Magic Incantation of Unknown Origin

Witches brew and cotton-tails!
Savory stew and mossy snails!
Chew the fat and spit the rind,
Winged bat and acts unkind.
Rue the day of longest night!
Fear the rays of guiding light!
Call the hark of harpy’s cry
And the lark sings a happy sigh
When you seek the fear
It will eke out somber cheer.
Find the toad of wooden tone
Bring a load of ochre moan.
In the end you will succeed
When you wend through broken weed.
With this pact you’ve made a leap
Beware the act that you didst reap!
05/21 Direct Link
Reaper’s Kiss

I do not want the reaper’s kiss
For my life I’d surely miss
Instead I’d rather play and dance
Than roll the dice and rely on chance
There must be somewhere in my fate
A way to escape death’s somber gate
For though there is finality
I choose to seek immortality
I won’t succumb to trickery
Deception or subtle thievery
Against you I will fight
Calling upon all my might
Until the day my number’s drawn
I will not be some unknown pawn
I do not accept on such a whim
So stay thy hand, you reaper grim
05/22 Direct Link
I guess the Muse has not left me yet. I am not some broken being relegated to a footnote of life’s history. My mortal coil is strong and I will find a way to go on. I struggle against my own ropes, a knot I have forgotten to unravel. Yet my mind is open to untold adventures. I escape to worlds unseen. One day my time will come and then all will see as I do. I take no responsibility for that. I am only a conduit of creativity. Remove the clog and let hope dowse the flames of futility.
05/23 Direct Link
Rachel, my mother, and I went to dinner at Dewey’s Pizza and then saw Prince Caspian. The food was good – how often do you go wrong with pizza? The movie was good, too – in many ways it was better then the first Narnia movie. Then again, I am partial to science fiction and fantasy movies. Those genres in general, actually. I just wish the quality of the movies overall was better. True, when you have a script based on Narnia or The Lord of the Rings you are on better footing. Why can’t original scripts not pander to stupid gimmicks?
05/24 Direct Link
Today we were supposed to sort through our stuff in the garage but we never quite got around to it. Just wasn’t feeling it today. We have the room for it all in there but we want to get rid of some of our older items to make way for our wedding gifts. At some point we will have a garage sale, probably a yard sale, but we need to finish going through everything. Maybe we will tackle it next weekend.

I wonder how much we can make at our eventual sale. Hopefully we are not selling memories for profit.
05/25 Direct Link
A year ago today, the Sunday before Memorial Day, my life changed in a way I could never imagine. While home visiting my mother before we both flew down to Florida so she could visit my girlfriend and me, my mother suffered a stroke. Fortunately I was there or I’m certain she would’ve died. That act set in motion an avalanche – my girlfriend arrived to help out, we moved from Florida to help my mother, I lost my job, my girlfriend and I got married, we both found jobs we like.

It seems so long ago; it feels like yesterday.
05/26 Direct Link
My nephew turns four today. Rachel and I met Gabriel, his parents, and sister at the Columbus Zoo for a day of fun and frolicking. I think we all enjoyed the day.

Although Gabriel is biologically Rachel’s nephew, I have easily shifted into the role of being Uncle Edward. Since I am an only child, it is interesting to be in this position. I am not a surrogate – I am his uncle. I guess that’s what happens when families blend. Some embrace the changes while others resist them.

I choose to be a positive influence for my nephew and niece.
05/27 Direct Link
Today is the actual anniversary of my mother’s stroke, although I think I will always remember it the day before Memorial Day. After all, does the day or the date take precedence?

It is curious how much power we give to numbers and dates – birthdays, ages, holidays, weeks, etc. Is it to hold onto the past? Plan for the future? Does this remembrance shackle us and not let us enjoy the now? When I die, will I be remembered for who I was or just that I was X years old?

Talk amongst yourselves and discuss – you have thirty minutes.
05/28 Direct Link
While at the zoo on Monday, there were several Muslim families in attendance. A couple of the women wore burkhas. The husbands, meanwhile, were wearing slacks and short-sleeved shirts. I keep an open mind about other culture’s traditions but I honestly don’t get this one. Where is the equality in having the women covered head to toe with only the eyes visible while the men wear what they want? If the men wore a similarly restrictive outfit I could understand it more. Is there any relevance in carrying over such an archaic fashion that is not only sexist but demeaning?
05/29 Direct Link
Continuing yesterday’s topic of burkhas in the modern world, is there some relevance in subjugating women to wear clothing that hides them away from society at large? I understand and appreciate historical and ceremonial garments, especially when used in their proper context, but to me burkhas go beyond that. If form is function, then clearly a roving jail cell would be an apt description.

Then again, how many items do we wear in our daily lives that restrict us in some way? Why is it the dress of other cultures doesn’t bother me as much? Am I being too judgmental?
05/30 Direct Link
The month is almost over – I can hardly believe it! The days fly by and the weeks end before I realize they have begun. These observations are in hindsight, of course. Most of the day, the work day seems to drag on but the weekends disappear. When I am really busy at work, the day goes quickly, too. Which begs the question, is it better to have the day go slow or quick? Does it really matter? I guess it is more important to live each day to the fullest and not have any regrets.

Just something to strive for.
05/31 Direct Link
Once again we dance the mad fandango and wonder where yet another thirty-one days our lives have gone. We all do the time warp without knowing the steps. May was grand but here’s to hoping that June will be splendiferous! Caught in a vortex, I leap forward in time without grasping the consequences of my passing. It is not my choice, but that is how life goes. We all have our parts to play and mine right now is the passive observer. I plan and wait, but when do I cancel the reservations and move on?

Until next month, adieu.