The creepy fear brought on by terror that roars from the recesses of our unconsciousness. So startling! So paralyzing! Even the most confident and fearless, when pressed enough, falter like a jostled house of playing cards.
Too many modern horror movies miss that very sublime effect. Too graphic and blunt. Nothing left to suggestion. No shadows. Nothing that leaves us sensing something unseen lurking.
Alfred Hitchcock captured that essence very well in his movies. Some authors drag us into the abyss of sheer fear. Visual effects sadly lacked nowadays until a wondrous graphic piece recently came on the net.
So saith some preachers when discussing one of the major conditions necessary to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. To be pure and experience the full glory of cosmic bliss with God, we must let go of our old nature that holds us back.
Do I believe this? I'm a skeptic who believes that we know so little about the Great Cosmic Truth that it's pointless to be so absolutely sure like some devout people are.
But one thing I know:
Large ego: frail like a huge bubble
Strong ego: solid and sturdy like a small rock.
I'm embarking on my last year of my doctorate studies. Getting my dissertation under way. The trick is to kick my own ass hard enough so I get really busy and my hands dirty doing it instead of stretching it out so long that I'm not done for a long time. Ah, oh, I did pass that candidancy that I spoke of in my Nov. batch. Went very well. But still a long way to go.
How's love life?
It's topsy-turvy. I thought I had something with someone but she had someone on the side.
The ego: what makes us…us. Our driving force and our downfall.
Some of us have weak egos…easily walked over by others or not loving ourselves.
Some of us have large egos…easy to walk over others or loving ourselves too much.
Some of us have normal egos…walking with others and loving ourselves just right.
The science of the ego is more complex than said above….but one thing I strongly believe in: better to desire a Strong Ego than a Large Ego.
Strong ego: a regular solid rock, very durable.
Large ego: A big bloated bubble, very fragile.
Letting go can be one of the hardest things to do. This is especially true in matters of the heart: what our heart desires. Some desire power, money, fame, solitude, or peace…their lives rotate around that. Me, what do I desire…love. [shrug] It's common, yeah. Most of us desire to be loved as well as to love…well, more on the "to be loved" part, I can say more confidently.
Some of my great hurts came from Loveland [surprise!] However, I learned that I heal best if I let it go…whatever my heart pined for but no love back.
The horrid hotel prices compelled me to take shelter in Northern Indiana.
So many motels full on I-94 in Indiana. I almost knew how Mary and Joseph felt that night in Bethlehem.
Finally, a vacant motel at the Dollar Hotel. Standing behind the bars late at night, the innkeeper came up to me yakking unintelligibly the conditions.
"WHAT????!?!?!?!" snorted the old fart incredulously.
Calmly, I used my power tone, "Just speak more slowly and clearly."
Like a lackey with sense beaten into him, he very courteously but clearly informed me of the conditions.
I don't mean wishy-washy friends. I mean those who have borderline personality disorders. Psychologists call them the most difficult clientele to deal with. Having had at least a couple of friends with that, I most definitely agree.
So much emotional turmoil! I like many would feel urges to help these borderlines as they undergo angst, then be drained by their "I hate you, but don't leave me" attitudes, before finally slamming the door on them permanently. The highs and lows just became too much. Breaks my heart, but for my own good, I had to let them go.
I still have too many unresolved questions including the classic, "Why is there evil in this world." One Brit so eloquently posed this question, "Can there be an all-powerful and all-loving God if arsefucking and killing babies happen." One reason I'm very skeptical of the Biblical God…but a Higher Power, who knows.
From the list of derogatory terms towards a person based on his condition or group status. Words often used in sheer irrational hate throughout history to now. Those haters infuriate me…how dare they diminish the humanity of others!
Nowadays, tis very popular for these targeted members and their non-minority mateys to take upon these words to decrease their hateful power as they engage in the "non-PC" banter. If done with valid purpose or humourous irony, fine. If done idly or with empty purpose, I don't call them bigots; I call them idiots.
Why not commit online? BECAUSE, you never know for sure until you meet that person. Imagine committing to imposters. Sincere online engagements are for suckers.
Not from outside
Inside block light out
Fire in the belly,
Where is it?
Still shut in
Where am I going?
Flight to nowhere?
I hate Edmonton
I'm in rumination.
Where forth shall I go?
I wish not to run slow.
What can I do here?
I know it's not beer,
But not always clear.
Stoking the fire doth make me aspire.
I know to be inspired leads me to the stars.
Yet, what's stopping me from jumping the bars?
What will it take for me to cut the wire?
What if men could attain multi-orgasms?
What if women ruled the world?
What if dogs and cats evolved to human levels instead of apes?
What if the entire world was deaf?
What if we felt the urge to colonize inside our earth and the deepest oceans instead of space?
What if they taught masturbation as part of the school curriculum?
What if we could metamorph like Terminator-II could?
What if Buddhism dominated the world instead of Judeo-Christianity?
What if our shit tasted like candy?
What if Einstein's IQ was the norm?
Better or worse?
Learning the ropes
At work in London.
Learning that one
Does not give in
Lest I never win.
I believe for now that I have found my calling, or opportunity, if you will. Screw being stuck only behind the screen without steady human contact! Working with people and doing my part to help ensure that they do not fall through the cracks in our screwed-up society energizes me. Going beyond myself keeps me from being in a rut. True, it'll be frustrating, but I believe I have what it takes. Remember: each year brings something new.
Truly an awestriking movie. Even though I knew its acclaimed reputation, I procrasinated watching it until my homefolks forced me to watch it with them. Like any excellent movie, time just flew so quickly. A most amazing and authentic insight into the world of schizophrenia. The power of our minds unmasked. Made me think: can we truly trust the visionaries if there are no others to verify their sightings? Those who see God or ghosts on their own…from inside or outside?
The power of love…the ability to overcome and to cope…those are definitely real and shared! Amen!
Bullfuckingshit! Not only is the word "love" being misused these days. "Hate", a powerful negative word, is also being diluted. To those young punks who weep about being hated on, grow the fuck up and develop a deeper sense of self and life.
How could I hate you? You haven't really done anything to me. All you did was just annoy me, make yourself ridiculous, and blandly vex me with your superficial tripes. So what if I rolled my eyes up at you…snickered at your silliness? I don't hate overcoddled, overgrown spoilt infants that lack sense.
Yet, there are those who have no self-control or lack ability to have compassion. They are the emotional retards. Like the mentally retarded, they need structure and help so that they are not a danger to us and themselves. They need not our blind hate…it helps nobody. Be strong and wise.
If Neitzsche lived today.