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Working backwards isn't always easy. It can often help you figure things out though. If you've forgotten where you've placed something they say to retrace your steps. Usually remembering what you did and the order you did it in will lead you to your lost item. Same with life events. If you have an outcome and you can't understand how you got there, work backwards. Figure out what the catalyst was. Wonder why someone is the way they are? Look back at their lives and everything they've been through. Every action has a reaction. Every move made has a consequence.
I love to cook. I love to eat good food and I love learning how to make that good food at home. I like trying new recipes and I love that Publix constantly has their new Apron recipes to try. Especially when you can watch the attendant cook it. I like when I have someone to cook with, whether it is my mom, my niece, a friend or a boyfriend. The best part is, when it turns out well and you receive praise from who ever else is eating it. Learning to cook is very rewarding in many different ways.
Writing in this September batch is an assignment for my English class in college. Honestly, I truly was excited. I enjoy free writing and had always wanted to try out keeping a blog or diary. I really wanted to keep up with it and make an entry every day. Unfortunately I definitely thought this wasn't happening til October so I didn't even start til the 11th I believe. Then there's just the difficulty of life. I work two jobs, I'm in college as a 3/4 student, I try to keep up with exercise and social and family and chores.
When I was 5 my parents asked me if I wanted to play an instrument. I was excited. Wanting to please my dad I quickly said piano. It helped that the house we had just moved in to had a piano that came with it. I ended up playing for 15 years. I quit because I hated practicing. Sometimes I wished I had stuck to it although I can still read music pretty well and learn a song pretty quickly. Other times I wish I had told my parents that I wanted to take voice lessons. I've always loved singing.
I used to hate drinking water. HATE IT. When I started working at the zoo I ended up needing it. Such a physically demanding job in the Florida heat would quickly dehydrate you. I realized all the health benefits you could enjoy if you drank enough water and I started to challenge myself. The rule of thumb is to take your weight and divided it by two. That number is how many ounces of water you should drink a day. Add on 8 ounces of water for every equal amount of caffeine or alcohol you intake. Easier said than done.
I love hockey. I've never been in to sports but hockey is my one exception. In high school one of my best friend's, Steve, played hockey. So I'd go to watch his games. He also started coaching hockey for younger kids. I'd attend those games as well. I quickly learned from that the different rules and regulations. We ended up having a teacher in eleventh grade who had season tickets to the Lightning games in Tampa. Whenever he couldn't or didn't want to go to a game he'd give us his tickets, right on the glass. I was instantly hooked.
Why is free writing a lot easier? I think it's because you're free to write about whatever you want. A lot of us have thoughts and opinions we would like to share. It's especially freeing to share to an anonymous group. And though grammar should be learned and taken seriously, it's nice to be able to write as the thoughts come to you. There are quite a few authors out there who do that and can get away with it. Essays are more confined with their requirements. This website is a lot like a blog for a lot of people.
I'm a pretty big nerd so I watch, read and play a lot of things that have a big fan following. Therefore, I always enjoy going to conventions. It's on my bucket list to one day go to the San Diego Comic Con as well as Blizz Con which is also in California. I also love dressing up as my favorite characters. Unfortunately I'm not skilled enough to make a very good costume so I usually end up buying a costume which can be costly. It's still fun, especially if you get a group together to dress up and attend.
October is always undoubtedly the busiest month of the year for me. I do it to myself. I love Halloween. So suddenly I'm consumed with coming up with a costume and then making it. Then there are all the various Halloween parties I attempt to go to. Grateful to live in central Florida I always go to Howl O' Scream at Busch Gardens as well as Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios. Now there's a new one called Scream A Geddon I'd like to check out. My niece also has her birthday so we do lots of stuff for her.
Remember how eager you were as a kid to learn?? I remember being obsessed with dinosaurs and mythology and animals. I'd spend hours, unprompted, pouring over books to learn about these things I loved. When did we lose that? Why can't I be as motivated as I was back then to learn. Is it because I've been required to learn about things I'm not interested in? Can you blame it on technology? Or is that just what happens as you grow up? You have responsibilities and worries that take over your day to day life. To be a kid again.
Does it seem like some people are more lucky than others? Is that really the case or is it in all in our heads? Why do I watch my best friend lose her mom, her twin brother and even her dog over the course of a few years while I look at my other friends and they are not only surrounded by all of their family members but rapidly making more. Why do some people get that speeding ticket and others don't? All I can say is the unlucky ones are undoubtedly stronger. Can you call that a silver lining?
Working out to me is NOT FUN. Unfortunately it's an activity most of us need to participate in to stay healthy and in shape. I've always hated running. But then I joined a social running club that one of my best friends is a part of and it made it not so miserable. You got to meet new people and hang out and we'd usually grab dinner and drinks afterwards. Counter productive, I know. The best part is my best friend and I are the same pace. So we'd do the run together and catch up on each other's lives.
When friend can't run with me then I don't enjoy it as much. What I do really love is dancing. I'd attend classes at the Patel Conservatory in Tampa and would do ballet, jazz, and contemporary. Though expensive, it is my favorite way to keep in shape. We even had a teacher who was a former Rockette and she taught us how to dance in heels. I can't even walk in heels. Talk about difficult! I also love yoga. It's calming and puts me in a good mindset. It also improves my flexibility and core. Find an activity that's fun.
My uncle was a doctor in Psychology. He'd always have interesting articles to tell us about. Once he said your birth order can affect who your relationships. I forget exactly but an example is the babies of the family don't do well with other babies or only children. Well I'm an only child. Or at least that's how I was raised in the beginning. But I do have an older half sister and when she moved in that made me the baby. Then she had my niece and suddenly I'm the middle child. Wonder how I fit in that theory?
Do you ever wonder what people are thinking? You look around at all the, often times blank, faces and can't help but be curious as to what's going on inside their mind. If you pay close attention you can often figure out their mood. Watch for their body language, facial expressions, even small sighs or a giggle they will let out without realizing it. But you'll never truly know what their thoughts are about. It's our only truly safe place to keep thoughts. In our minds. But even then, in the long run, our minds can also turn on us.
I've been in search of a place to study. I can't do it at home. I mean, I CAN do it at home but there are so many distractions. My bed is a big one. Netflix. My cat. God forbid you combine those three. So I can't study at home. Two things are required for me to even consider a location. Free WiFi and good coffee. So needless to say I've been exploring all these local coffee shops. But I keep coming back to Panera Bread. For whatever reason I'm happiest here. Need to remember to bring a jacket though.
Ahhh Saturday class. Saturday is probably everyone's favorite day of the week and here we are in school, right smack dab in the middle of our precious Saturday. We can't complain, we all chose to be here. But why? I'm sure everyone has a different reason. Mine? Three hours on one day sounded better than one hour on three different days. Plus I registered late and didn't have many options. So here I am. At least summer time is about over. I won't be missing beach days. If nothing else it gets me up and moving instead of being lazy.
Love is hard. That's what I've always heard. Suddenly I disagree. Maybe it's because this is still new. I don't want to be that person who gets excited in every new relationship. Maybe it's because I feel like I've learned and matured from my past attempts. Or maybe I'm just lucky to have found the right guy. When you have two people who want the same things in life and care about each other then stuff just seems to work. There are disagreements but they aren't really fights. In the end you both remember you're on the same side. Right?
I'm that crazy cat lady. Sometimes I'm ashamed of that but then I come home to my kitties and I'm overwhelmed with love for them. Maybe I'm lucky but my kitties are so good. My male cat is more like a dog. He greets me when I come home and follows me around. He likes to play fetch and he loves going outside. He isn't afraid when I have guests over and goes up to all of them. His sister is sweet, and cuddly and though she hides from first time guests she is quite lovey once she knows them.
I would love to get a pet dog. Maybe I'm more OCD than most but there's so much thought you have to put into picking out a breed. What kind of lifestyle do you lead? Are you active enough to handle a dog that needs to be worn out every day? Do you have kids? Is that breed known for being good around kids who may not always be quiet and gentle. What type of coat do they have? Will you be able to maintain it or afford to pay someone who can maintain it. Always research before you buy.
I went indoor rock climbing for the first time. Talk about nerve racking. I'm not even afraid of heights. But the fear of falling is completely different. Not to mention the insecurities caused by the amount of people in there who, one assumes are far more advanced, watching. Judging. But if you can push past that then you can focus on the actual climbing. How quickly you'll get exhausted! But also, how quickly you'll start to gain confidence. Your body will start to realize what it needs to do. Then you're having so much fun you don't want to stop!
Working at the zoo has changed my entire outlook on animals. I've always loved animals. There's so much people don't realize. I've learned how truly wild they are. How often they are used in situations they shouldn't be just for human entertainment. Entertainment I would've once found enjoyment in. I've also learned how much work goes in to truly caring for them. It's not just feeding and cleaning up poop. To truly enrich their lives you have to know how to keep them motivated and happy. You have to learn how to read their behaviors so you can understand them.
My mom is a twin and that to me is such an amazing bond to have with another human being. From the moment they were born they have always had a partner on their side. Someone to share every moment with. Their similarities never cease to amaze me. They live in two different states now but they are constantly buying the same items without realizing the other has done so. The same phone, the same purse, they've even named their cats the same name. And whenever something happens to the other, good or bad, they get a sense of it.
Being an aunt holds such mixed feelings. I realize I'm closer to my niece than a lot of aunts are. I look at her and feel this strong need to protect. I feel proud. I want the best for her. I want her to succeed. Quite like how I imagine, a parent feels. But then there are nights where we whisper and giggle together and I think, this must be what having a sister is like. Then I'm also the older, cooler adult in her life. The one she can go to when she can't go to her parents. Aunt.
The thing about life is, it is messy. Everyone has this constant internal battle between taking care of their needs and being more concerned about everyone else. When you're in a relationship it's even harder. Some people say the most important rule is to watch out for numero uno. Others believe that self sacrifice will get you farther. I believe that everything in life has a happy median. Take care of yourself. Take care of the ones you love. AND, help strangers. You never know the impact you can have on another person's life and how it can change everything.
As we lay in bed, you asleep, me wide awake, I moved as close to you as I could to you without disturbing you. I wanted to feel your warmth. Your hand reached out to mine but I was lower and you couldn't reach. Your hand rested on my wrist. You're fingertips brushed against the vein finally coming to rest there. How many times had I been in a dark place staring at that same vein. The body warmth that radiated from you felt quite like an energy, loving and healing a small unnoticeable spot that held so much power.
If I could paint a picture of us it would show me as a storm cloud, thunderous and filled to the brim with rain. A grey darkness against an otherwise blue sky. You would be the sun. Bright and good. Needed. Trying to break through the darkness in me. One day, when all the rain pours out I'll dissipate. But I'll carry with me the warmth you gave me. You're strong enough that any storm I cause, you'll survive. You'll be shining in the sky as big and fiery as before the day my cloud passed in to your sky.
I have a huge obsession with TV shows. I suppose the whole Netflix binge watching thing is a trend now so I guess I'm not the only one. I've always been an avid lover of a good story. Whether its told in a book, a song or on screen. I love movies too, don't get me wrong, but a TV show has so much more time to develop the story and characters. And with more than one writer on the team you have a better chance, in my opinion, of coming up with great ideas, story lines and covering everything.
16 years ago my sister had a baby. Naturally, I was excited. Babies are cute. And I was going to be the only sixth grader who was an aunt. You were born and it was awesome because you attracted attention and when I held you and showed you off I got to partake in all that attention. Plus you were basically a fun new toy. A few years later and suddenly you're busting in to my room without knocking, messing with my stuff, wanting to meet my friends and copying my every move and OH MY GOD you were annoying.
Because as a teenager I had more problems than a third world country and did not need to be bothered by this pesty child. Then I'm on my own and trying to learn how to be an adult. I don't get to see you every day and suddenly going to your school functions is exciting because I can forget about my responsibilities for a while and be with family and see all that you're doing. Then I blink and suddenly you're this person who isn't an adult yet but somehow so grown up compared to that child I once knew.
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