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Today marks the beginning of a one month journey into my life. Daily activities, inspirational quotes, grocery lists, et cetera. You name it. This is something new to me, so my entries may range from my hectic college life to a story about what cereal I ate this morning. Starting off the month, I am typing this entry at 11:30 in the morning. I wanted to get a jump into this project the minute I had the opportunity. Now that I am finished with my exhausting ending of January, I plan on sleeping before the Super Bowl this evening.
Day two consists of not knowing what to write. Endless thoughts, numerous memories, possibilities are flowing through my scattered brain. What should I write about? Do I write about the truth? Fiction? Both? Well, fiction consists of true thoughts, right? Maybe if I write about the truth and just change up the names of people and places then I'll have fiction but write what I know. Yeah, that makes sense to me. Who am I kidding? This is only Day two of my journey. I am already stuck and lost for words. Great here we go! Day two of many.
Day three: Tuesday. My life on a Tuesday doesn't consist of much excitement. My alarm goes off at 6:45 am, I struggle slipping into my jeans for work. I struggle to get the motivation to do anything really at 6:45 in the morning. The Tuesday routine continues. Bag muffins, sell muffins, get off of work, go to class, go to lunch, go to class again, go to practice, go to dinner, shower, homework, and finally, the moment I look forward to in every daily routine... Talking to the love of my life to dwindle down my everyday routine.
What am I suppose to do? Remember that you are always my best friend. You're more than that. Getting someone to trust you in every aspect is hard, but you did it. I still have things to work on, but this feeling. I want to be the bet for you. I want to be what you are to me to you. I will get there. Believe in me, and trust me, because there is not a single person who has what you have with me, and there never will be anybody else like you. Thank you for everything. Trust me.
Why is it so difficult to write? Why is it so difficult to think of a topic and write about it? There are endless amounts of things that go on throughout the day. There are endless amounts of things that happen throughout life! Why is it so hard to write? Maybe I am overthinking it. I tend to do that with everything in life. Maybe it's simple. I mean how difficult is it to tell a story. Its just like speaking right? No maybe not. Writing is full of so much art. I would never talk the way I write.
That cherry tomato red face, the small giggly grin, the hunched over awkwardness. That is me asking my roommate something personal. You see, roommates have this thing where they are suppose to talk things out and make rules about everything. My roommate and I are actually pretty good at that. I mean we talk about everything even if we are uncomfortable about it. So what should I do? Hang a sock on the door? Flip my name on our door upside down? What is our signal? You know that serious symbol. She's coming next week! "I've got you don't worry."
Today was probably the longest, most excruciating practice I have ever had to go through. Scrimmage day. The day where one team is split into two teams to pick out the best of the best players. My coach calls it friendly competition, but to me it is torture. Friendly competition with one of my only friends on the team. This "friendly" competition ruins or friendship. It is always a constant struggle to be better than her. If I had the choice, I would never compete with anyone. Not to be the better, starting player. Why is life all about competition?
Loving another person more than you love yourself sounds completely absurd. Every little aspect of that person drives you wild all the time. Whether it is the way her cheek smushes against the pillow when she is sleeping so peacefully, or the way she pulls me close to her to kiss me. No matter the arguments and fights, I know that we will get past it. I look at this girl, and I know that she is the one. I would do anything to make her the happiest person on this planet. She deserves the best and only the best.
There is a point in life where you realize that your life is not the most important thing in the world. There is a point in life where another life becomes more important than your own. It may be difficult to realize when this point in life hits you, but when it hits you, man oh man does it hit you... That moment you look into your significant other's eyes, that moment you look at your parents, or possibly that moment when your newborn baby is first in your arms... That powerful moment will inspire you and create magnificent love.
Mark the date! February 10th, 2015! Today I finally got the appreciation and acknowledgment that I have been dying to receive. Nothing is harder than going to practice each and every single day being absolutely invisible. Sometimes I question as to why I am even still playing softball. Today I received the appreciation that I have been longing for every day at practice. It is these moments that make me realize how important softball has been in my life. Through the bad and the good, softball has been my escape from reality and the achievements I have made are irreplaceable.
February 11th, 3 days before Valentine's Day. The day full of love and romance. This year is a special year. It is the first year with my very special Valentine. My one and only. Yet why is there still a haunting, upsetting vibe from this beautiful holiday? Oh right... Seven years ago, on February 14th, I lost a very beautiful, important person in my life. My half sister. She was beautiful, caring, happy, loving, and a role model. She was a fighter. She gave it her all. Every Valentine's day since I wear pink. Pink symbolizes her and Valentine's Day.
The moment that the savory taste of the sweet teriyaki chicken mixing with the tangy YumYum sauce is an unforgettable experience. The chicken is accompanied by sweet sautéed onions and zucchini that will send your taste buds on a ride down savory lane. One may ask, "Where can I get this delicious meal?" There is only one answer to that: Osaka's Japanese Express Takeout. This wonderful grab and go is only located ten minutes from Randolph College and is a popular spot for college students. One may think this is an over exaggeration, but think again after your experience!
It is 10:25 at night and I am about to head to sleep. That is until I remembered I had to do my entry for February 13th. I reminded myself all day that it had to be done, but I continued to procrastinate. As I began to close my eyes to fall asleep, I kept trying to think of what I forgotten. All of a sudden, I sprung up and grabbed my laptop and began typing. I have been up today since 5:30 in the morning. The only thing that I want to do is sleep all day.
That moment of panic! Did I miss the deadline? February 14th, the day of love! I almost forgot to do an entry for the special day. It definitely was a special, lovely day. My Valentine took me to a wonderful dinner. Chicken Cordon Blue. Literally my favorite meal. served with a double baked potato, broccoli, and a healthy salad. The day went well as well. I got to spend the whole day with the love of my life. The day was so great I didn't think of writing until 12:44 a.m. on February 15th to write this entry.
Greece, Italy, Mexico, Zimbabwe, U.S.A., England, Ireland, Egypt, Germany and Jamaica! Round 1, ding ding ding! England falls behind to the losers bracket. Round two, Italy defeats Zimbabwe. Players rise, players fall, the night has just begun. U.S.A. versus Greece, the chants for the home country get louder and louder. Defeat. The home favorite loses and falls behind next to England. Ireland, the team with more advantages on any of the games. Win after win they continue to thrive in their victories. Every team faces defeat except the undefeated Ireland. Never play a team that good.
The way you look at me, that smile, those brown eyes, those freckles, your wavy brown hair... So irresistible I can't keep my hands off of you. Your breath blowing against my face and neck, your smooth, warm skin against mine, the embrace of your arms around my waist. I need you. I need you every second of every day. The way you make me feel is an addiction. Only you can give me that. So please stay with me. So I can give you everything that you give me. I need you so never ever leave me. Thank you.
Great things about snow days: Snow flakes, snowmen, snowballs, sleds, forts, angels, sleeping in, beautiful scenery, no classes, hot coco, fuzzy socks, sweaters, messy buns, no make up, beanies, mittens, scarves, cuddles, fire places, marsh mellows, smores, movie marathons, naps, blankets, soup, friends, igloos, penguins, polar bears, happy cheers, late nights, layers on layers of clothing, thawing after a long day, sleepovers, memories, stories, new traditions, Olaf, Frozen, winter wonderland, wishing it was Christmas, reindeer, presents, kisses in the snow, boots, joy, fun. Oh the marvelous thoughts and fun activities that come along with a snow day! They are endless!
Back to reality: So the snow is everywhere. All over the ground. Inches on inches of snow! Not everyone is a fan of snow the way I am. It surely is a beauty of its own. The past two days were filled with nothing but fun. Today, luckily school did not start until 12 p.m. This means that I only have one class for today! Unfortunately, catching up to my procrastination will be the biggest struggle of them all. So much to do to get ready for tomorrow and back to a full day of school and school work.
Happy birthday to me! Today is my nineteenth birthday and so far I have not had the best time. The only things that I have done today are go to my classes and practice. Not to mention, I also didn't have my birthday dinner as I traditionally do every year with either my friends or family. On the plus side, my best friend surprised me last night and arrived late at school. Tomorrow night she is taking me out to dinner with a few of my friends. I do not know where we will be going, but I'm hoping Mexican!
Pretzel bun, blue cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise, and a hardy beef patty accompanied by a side of crispy french-fries with water to wash it all down. This meal may not seem like much of a luxury to anyone but to myself, it is heaven on a plate. Especially for someone who is stuck eating college dining hall food every day for three meals a day. A meal so savory and delicious and juicy is an all American favorite. Not only did I have this plate of yumminess, but to complete my meal for the night, chocolate ice cream.
Snow still covers the ground from last week! Yet today, another snow storm rolled through Lynchburg, Virginia. Back at home in Zuni, Virginia, one small snow a year is a big deal. Schools are normally out due to back roads freezing. In fact, earlier this week, the schools back home were closed due to icy roads. Here, however, it is just an ordinary winter. Schools did shut down for a day or two but then everyone was back at their busy schedules again. Luckily this snow came on the weekend giving everyone the opportunity to enjoy this wintery snow storm.
Acceptation. It is a word that will play a major factor in everyone's lives for the majority of their lives if not their whole life. When born, acceptation from parents, siblings, and other family plays a role. first day of kindergarten, acceptation from classmates and new friends is important. Middle school and high school is the same way. The biggest thing about moving on to a future is getting accepted to college. The hardest thing to live with is not being accepted. I want that feeling of acceptance no matter where my life may go and the paths I choose.
I just want to play! Softball has always been a huge part in my life. I have been playing since I was five years old! I am nineteen now so basically that means for the majority of my life, I have been thinking, playing, practicing, or doing something that has to do with softball! These snow days are rough. It is hard waiting for the day I have worked so hard for. That day where I get to play college softball. This snow is delaying my childhood dream. I want to see if everything I have known is worth it.
I miss home. I miss my best friend, my dad, my mom, my dogs, my horses, my car, my house, my lake, my friends, my high school, my school sports, my church, my youth group, my family, my neighbors, my neighbor's dog, their cat, I miss the way I felt at home, I miss the flat land, the land covered in trees, I miss my high school computer teacher, my old softball coaches, my job, my boss, my co-workers, my old life. I love college but things are starting to get to me. I don't know what I want.
Day twenty five. I feel like this is an accomplishment to me. I would have never guessed that me, Dianne Davis, would ever stick to doing anything for so long. I did though! For the whole month of February I did one hundred words every single day. Originally, I would have never guessed that I would stick to something for so long. This assignment was just for five extra points on my final semester grade in my creative writing class. I have to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed doing this for a month. My writing is still not good though.
Another game cancelation. I just want to play! This is our third game that has been cancelled due to the dang weather, and mother nature deciding to make the city of Lynchburg live in a winter wonderland for two weeks. I just want to see grass! I want to see the dirt on the softball field. I want to have sliding practice and live hitting practice. I just miss everything about being outside and playing the sport I love. Eventually I know mother nature will give us a break and RCSB will come out the gates killing all our opponents.
A stomach bug... THE worst feeling ever. My stomach aching and turning and cramping. My body weak and hurting. Laying on the floor with trashcan beside me. Feeling unable to do a thing. My friends are nice. Coming to help me out briefly to put a rag on my head. Just leave me here to die. I will get up eventually. My friends leave helpless while sanitizing from their elbows down. MY roommate comes in paranoid and starts to clean everything in sight. She does not want to get sick and I do not blame her! Its a terrible feeling.
Well today is the day! February 28th. The last day I need to write one hundred words about everything and anything. It is a bitter sweet goodbye. I kind of like having something that I know I have to do every day before I go to bed. I like how this is a writing exercise that I can use to write about whatever is running through my mind. I also like that the second I click the submit button, I will have a guaranteed five extra points onto my final grade. I am proud to say that this is it.
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