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10/01 Direct Link
Steve and Manny rode their bikes past Mick and Mack, the two lions situated outside of McMicken Hall. As they rode past, they slapped their hands against each one for good luck, since they had to make up their biology exam.

After their biology class, they met at the Student Union at the campus McDonald's.

"Hey, Steve, there's Felicia!" Manny said, noticing Felicia walking in from outside. Felicia spotted them and came in to sit down.

"So, guys, how was your make-up exam?" Felicia asked.

"I think I did okay. How about you, Manny?"

"I guess I did okay, too."
10/02 Direct Link
What was the size of the biggest zit you've ever popped? The biggest one I ever saw was about one-half to three-quarters the size of a dime. It was white, shiny, and juicy. While there was initially just white, creamy pus, after repeated squeezing, some blood showed up.

What do you do if you see a big, white zit on someone else's face? I cannot help but be distracted from everything else that person says or does. All I can think about is that huge, white, creamy-looking zit. It's almost like it's another eye or nose or something like that.
10/03 Direct Link
When was the last time you were so grossed out over something that you got sick?

Today I came home from dropping my wife off at work and our daughter off at school to find that the puppy has diarrhea and messed up his cage pretty bad.

I must have vomited three times while trying to get the dirty cage outside to clean it. I used some dish soap and bleach, along with the garden hose, and I washed it all down the sewer. Then I gave the puppy a nice bath. He's staying outside for most of the day.
10/04 Direct Link
An open letter to the individual(s) responsible for burglarizing our home this morning:

You think you are so smart, but you are not. You messed up… big time. You left behind so many clues.

You didn't even get the money or other valuables that were in the car. You are so idiotic! That which was more valuable than what you took was in plain sight, yet you overlook it for a few CDs?! You didn't even find anything in our garage!

Don't worry. We'll be watching from now on. So will the rest of the neighborhood. You watch your back.
10/05 Direct Link
Aight, then. Let's talk about my circumstances. I feel like complaining, but that won't do nothing.

First of all, the finances are in bad shape. I dunno if they've been this bad before. Then there's the car that was brokin' into yesterday. Also, since Thursday, I've had this pain in my jaw that goes from underneath the right side of it, all the way up to my right ear. It's very sharp. I'm using some generic Orajel on it, which helps momentarily. Generic Tylenol helps, too. I feel like Job in the Bible. All I need is some broken pottery.
10/06 Direct Link
Since last Thursday, my mouth has been so sore. I think I may have scraped too hard against my gum with my toothbrush. Anyhow, it's in the lower part of the right side of my jaw, very close to where the wisdom tooth used to be. The pain extends from where the lymph node is in my neck all the way up to my right ear so that it feels like I have a slight earache.

So, I have a pain in my neck. Literally.

Since July I haven't had any insurance, so I've been reluctant to go see someone.
10/07 Direct Link
The saga continues…

Today Roto-Rooter Man is visiting our house. Our main sewer line is backed up with who-knows-what, and, needless to say, it's affected out lifestyle.

It takes a special person to be a Roto-Rooter man. It must. You have to clean up other peoples' crap. What drives someone like that, I wonder? Where do they get their passion? How many times do they vomit before they start to get used to the smell?

These questions and more run through my brain as our hero, Roto-Rooter Man makes the world, or at least, our house, safe for democracy again.
10/08 Direct Link
E-I-E-I-O!

Keisha's school went to the farm: E-I-E-I-O!
And with her school her daddy went: E-I-E-I-O!
With a hug-hug here and a hug-hug there, here-a-hug, there-a-hug, everywhere a hug-hug
Keisha's school went to the farm: E-I-E-I-O!

Keisha's school went to the farm: E-I-E-I-O!
And on that farm there were some pumpkins: : E-I-E-I-O!
With a roll-roll here, and a roll-roll there, here-a-roll, there-a-roll, everywhere a roll-roll
Keisha's school went to the farm: E-I-E-I-O!

Keisha's school went to the farm: E-I-E-I-O!
And on that farm there were some apples: E-I-E-I-O!
With a crunch-crunch here, and a crunch-crunch there – OOPS! Outta space!!
10/09 Direct Link
Yesterday, along with the field trip to the farm with Keisha's class, another awesome thing happened: A couple of good friends of ours got married.

Charles and Tasha are both deaf. They became Christians back around Easter this year. Because they wanted to have their relationship right in the eyes of God, according to what the Bible says, they moved out of their apartment into separate living environments.

Tasha and their baby boy Dominique moved in with us. They lived with us for a little while. It was great because our daughter is hard-of-hearing and we're all learning sign language.
10/10 Direct Link
On any given day, we can look from our front porch and see across Dayton, Ohio, toward Wright-Patterson Air Force Base. At night, what a view.

In the summer I got to see the partial moon above in the nightime sky. It had not yet risen to its full apex, so it appeared to be huge, hovering over the Dayton area. There was a large enough gap in the horizon for me to take a picture. Beautiful.

I also enjoy when I take Jake (our puppy) for a walk at night. I love to gaze at all the stars above.
10/11 Direct Link
He woke up in a stupor, not knowing what was going on around him. The night before was just a blur. He wondered how long he had been laying on the floor, passed out. He remembered some friends of his telling him to stop drinking and his scoffing. Boy, he sure wished he'd listened now.

He felt his head moving around in circles. Placing his hands to his face, soon he felt the swelling around his lips. He limped to the mirror in the bathroom and winced as he turned on the light. Yes, indeed, he'd gotten a fat lip.
10/12 Direct Link
He also noticed the black eye, as he peered into the bathroom mirror. He suddenly felt his stomach gurgling. He bent over, retching into the toilet. Funny thing was that he must have emptied his stomach last night, because nothing came up.

Oh, how the toilet bowl felt nice and cool.

The phone rang. It felt like a dozen mice jump-roped over his forehead. He crawled toward the kitchen, down the hall. The phone rang again. He pulled himself up, and grabbed the phone.

"Hello," he gasped.

"Hey, Joe, it's me, David."

"What up, dog?" Joe asked.

"You alright?"

"Super."
10/13 Direct Link
"Are you sure, bud?" David asked. "You didn't seem that good when we dropped you off last night."

"Yeah, I know," Joe replied, "I woke up on the living room floor a few minutes ago. I need to find some Tylenol or something, ‘cuz it feels like I got monkeys dancing on my head. What happened last night? Did I have a good time?"

"Oh, man, you were incredible. Well, until the cops showed up. We told you to put your shirt back on and when you refused, I had to pop you in the mouth."

"That was you?"

"Yeah."
10/14 Direct Link
"Jeez, why did you do that?" Joe asked.

"Well, you kept running around with your shirt off, and the cops were coming," David replied. "We told you you needed to cut it out before the cops got to Jerri's house, and you shouted that they were not going to take you alive and junk like that."

"Wow, how much did I drink?" Joe asked.

"We stopped counting after the second case. After you bonged the first case, we thought that might have been enough. Then you let out a big belch, and started on the second case."

"Damn. Then what?"
10/15 Direct Link
Joe was feeling like he might need to head back to the bathroom, even though he knew that if he needed to throw up again, nothing would come out. He was grateful that David had called, but he knew he needed to get dressed if he was going to get to work on time.

"Joe, I never saw anyone drink like you did last night," David replied.

Then, someone knocked at Joe's door.

"Hold on, David," Joe said. "Someone's at the door." Then, looking out the peephole, he said, "Who is it?"

"It's Jerri," came the answer from the door.
10/16 Direct Link
"Jerri?" Joe asked.

"Yeah, I wanted to see how you are doing," Jerri replied.

"Hold on a minute," Joe said. Then, speaking to David on the phone, "Listen, dude, I gotta go. Jerri just showed up. I will call you back."

"Okay, man. Later," David said. And Joe hung up.

Looking around, he found a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt to put on. He glanced in the mirror and tousled his hair before heading back to the door.

"Hi, Jerri," he said, opening the door. "Wanna come in?"

"Why not?" Jerri replied, walking inside. Joe shut the door.
10/17 Direct Link
Joe had liked Jerri since their freshman year in college. Over time he believed that Jerri would like him as well. He knew that drunken binges like he had last night were not going to make a good impression, especially when it was done at her place.

"So, what's up?" Joe asked. Looking around, he cleaned off a place on his couch and quickly moved his coffee table over the place where he'd passed out last night. "Wanna sit down?"

Jerri sat down, holding her purse. She straightened her hair a bit and then said, "I how you were doing."
10/18 Direct Link
The smell of coffee permeated the air of Joe's apartment. He remembered that the autmatic coffee maker had been set last night before he went to the party. Coffee was good. Especially with his headache. Perhaps Jerri would want some.

"Would you like some coffee?" Joe asked.

"Sure, you got any cream and sugar? I like mine with a lot of both," Jerri replied. "Let me come and help you."

"I think I have some Irish Cream," Joe said, "but let me look in the refrigerator."

He opened the refridgerator, and what he saw almost made him sick again.

"Ewww."
10/19 Direct Link
The last thing he wanted to see this morning was a half drunken bottle of beer. He quickly moved the milk in front of it and continued searching for the Irish Cream creamer for Jerri.

He felt a warm hand on his shoulder. Jerri. "Where do you keep your silverware?" she asked.

"Over there, next to the dishwasher," he gestured. "Here we go, some Irish Creamer."

"When I saw you all drunk like that last night, I was sure you were not well," Jerri said. "I've never seen anyone behave like that – drunk or sober."

"I know what you mean."
10/20 Direct Link
"I was on the phone talking to David about it when you knocked on the door," Joe said.

"I guess it was David who brought you back home last night after you left my place then," said Jerri.

"Yeah, he is something else, that David," said Joe, as he touched his fat lip. "He told me he had to punch me in the mouth in order to get me to stop acting like a fool last night."

"You were acting quite foolish, Joe," said Jerri. "I've never seen anyone drink beer like that – all at once. You could have died."
10/21 Direct Link
"Yeah, I've been thinking about the whole thing," said Joe, "and I might have a problem."

"You can get help, Joe. And I can help you find that help, if you want," said Jerri.

"Right now my head is aching something fierce," said Joe, as he headed toward the bathroom. He wasn't feeling that well this morning, and he didn't want to throw up in front of Jerri. "Just a minute," he said, "I think I'm going to get sick, and I don't want you to see it."

"I've seen worse," said Jerri, "but go ahead and do your thing."
10/22 Direct Link
The smell in the basement was rancid, like rotten meat and that of a swamp; maybe like rotten meat in a swamp. Where did he come up with that thought, he wondered. He threw up in the stationary tub again. Then he turned on the cold water. It felt good to his face, as he put his head under the faucet. A little bit of shampoo and he'd have his shower for the week, he thought. It doesn't get any better than this. Then he turned off the water and searched for a towel. He found one and started wiping.
10/23 Direct Link
He didn't realize that he was wiping his face off with a towel that had been used to clean up the mess in the basement. There was that smell again, too. He thought he was going to get sick again, but decided against it. After all, he had the super powers to turn it on and off at will.

He then used his telepathy again to turn the water on. He washed up again and this time found a towel that was clean. Much better, he thought. Then he found the opening for the laundry chute and began his ascent.
10/24 Direct Link
Well the last time he climbed through the laundry chute he didn't have any problems. Naturally he was confused in that he now hung stuck inside the laundry chute. Then he realized that he should not have eaten the extra burrito from the fast food taco restaurant. And that extra refill of soda probably meant that he now had to wait it to pass through his system, or at least until he found a way to make it through the laundry chute.

What was that, he felt? The gurgling in his stomach, with the ‘movement', meant that he was ready.
10/25 Direct Link
The ‘movement' he felt in his stomach propelled him up through the laundry chute with ease. He never had realized that amount of force could propel him that far.

Arriving at the top of the laundry chute, he slammed open the closet door and climbed out of the closet. Dusting himself off, he checked his appearance in the mirror. It looked as though he was dressed for Halloween, but then again, he was. So he made his way to the living room, where everyone sat, waiting.

"Everything come out OK?" the love of his life questioned, with that trademark smile.
10/26 Direct Link
He politely ignored the snide remark, grabbed his jacket and walked out the door, ready for his new adventure. And, since it was Halloween, adventure was to be plentiful.

He got to the end of the street and realized that he'd forgotten something very important – two things, really. So he flew back home and opened the door. They were still standing there.

"C'mon, kids. Let's go trick-or-treating." His three year old and five year old ran over to see him. John, the three year old, was dressed up as a deer hunter. Katie looked like a witch, wearing monster teeth.
10/27 Direct Link
He took John and Katie down the street trick-or-treating, and they had a ball. Little John, dressed as a deer hunter, with his pop gun and his face decorated with the camouflage makeup, was so adorable. And so was Katie. It was her idea to be a witch, but most of all, she just had to have the monster teeth. She wanted to be scary.

They got to the end of the street and heard a loud boom. It was the wrong holiday for fireworks, he thought, wondering why such a loud sound had come from a few blocks over.
10/28 Direct Link
So, he took John and Katie back home to the love of his life, and they spread their Halloween booty out on the dining room table for inspection. The tradition was that Mom and Dad would inspect the candy to see that it was safe, and then the kids could have one piece each before going to bed.

"Did you hear that loud boom?" his wife asked. He knew these kinds of questions – those with an obvious answer – meant that she was going to expect him to do something about it. This was alright, since he was a real superhero.
10/29 Direct Link
"Yeah, dear," he replied, "we heard the loud boom. I wondered why someone was shooting fireworks when it's not even the Fourth of July. I'll go check it out."

"Yay!" the kids exclaimed. "Go, daddy! Go, daddy!" They were his biggest fans.

He knew that Katie, especially, since she was in school, would have to use more discretion in talking about her family. But both he and his love knew that there was a great possibility that these two kids would carry on the family tradition of crime-fighting.

"I'll be right back," he said. "You two, obey your mommy."
10/30 Direct Link
After dropping the kids off back home, he flew into the air and headed toward the location of the loud boom. He had not gone that far before he heard and felt something screaming past him. It was a bottle rocket, and he had to dive toward the ground to avoid getting burned.

As he landed, he saw where the bottle rockets, had been fired from. He walked over to the house, and said, "Excuse me, but do you realize that this is the wrong holiday for those?"

"Who are you and what are you talking about?" came the reply.
10/31 Direct Link
"You mean, you don't know who I am?" came the incredulous reply. "Can't you recognize me by the suit?"

"Well, you look like some kinda superhero with that costume on, but it's Halloween, so I thought that was just a joke." The neighbor obviously didn't have much of a sense of humor, he thought.

"Are you sure you're allowed to be shooting off those bottle rockets tonight?" he asked his neighbor. "You nearly got me burned as I was flying around tonight."

"I suppose that I need to be more careful," the neighbor said. "It can wait until another time."