12/01 Direct Link
Watching the finals for this season of UAAP and scrolling back twitter feeds are both nerve racking and exciting.†A lot would say the two teams are of equal footing, but the Blues clearly have the advantage. They are much more cohesive as a team. Their years of experience lifted them up when it matters. They are indeed strong, but they have not met a team with as much heart as the Maroons, who apparently are hungrier to win. After decades of not being in the finals, apart from cheer leading and dancing wins, the result of this game is a big thing and will be a game changer.†
12/02 Direct Link

There is something about airports that I love so much. Until now Iím still trying to place the right answers as to why I find them fascinating. I could pinpoint one, but I can add more of maybe two, or even three. It does not matter whether they are small and basic or massive and posh such as the one in HK. They all emanate the same warmth and wonder. Maybe because of the idea that they are staging grounds for an adventure. A gateway. They are like self-contained cities with no permanent residents. People just come and go. And itís fine.†

12/03 Direct Link
Calma, calma, calma... This is going to be my mantra for the day, and maybe for the entire week. I wonít allow anyone to challenge my cool, even if I only had less than three hours of sleep. I was planning of going to office early today, but I started checking on people when I got up. It made me stay longer online than planned, which was not a good idea. But braving the traffic during rush hour isnít a better idea either. Looking at reasons, hmmmÖ Reading mails while I finish my toast and coffee, and one particular stupid email almost got me fuming mad. Well, almost.
12/04 Direct Link
It's worth noting that Elon Muskís awkward laugh inspires me a lot these days. For real. I watch a lot of is interviews as far back as nine years ago. When he talks about to be out there among the stars, it gives me that feeling of full of exciting future ahead. I donít know. †Maybe this can be a brilliant insight on my birth month. I have been feeling lost in tracks in most days of this year. I guess sometimes we just need a good inspiration and a direction, no matter how vague they can be. Soon, everything will be better.††
12/05 Direct Link

We cannot all have what we want in life. Sometimes the considerations that they are expecting of you are just way too far away from the reality on how one can perform their job. Respect is not there, then everything breaks down. One thing I notice about the issue on people who left, willingly and otherwise, and blabs a lot how things could have done better is almost always self-serving. Things donít go their way and they blame the system, the people who implement, and the air even. They have online platforms. They use their show to make parinig. Itís toxic, people.†

12/06 Direct Link

I decided to stay in the office for the night shift last night, and I am feeling disoriented and groggy today. This year, I have decided to spend more time sleeping for health reason, both mental and physical. I would say I succeeded on that. That is if insomnia does not come in control. For the most part, it feels better. But I seem to have accustomed myself from working shorter than before, and my energy waned. Time became sparse resources and managing it properly during the day felt like a real challenge. I guess itís all about conditioning.†

12/07 Direct Link

One of the most pleasurable parts of my afternoons at work is the short trip downstairs to get a cup of coffee. So after a big meal from an Ilocano joint at the building next to my officeís, a big sip of hot coffee is a good idea. Pulag was the complimentary coffee for the day. It is one of the three Kape Maria blends being sold at Human Heart Nature. It tastes great. For a barako-like coffee like this, it is strong without the aromatic kick. I love it with lotsa cream, and sprinkles of healthy muscovado.†

12/08 Direct Link

I guess mothers can feel what youíre going through even if you are miles away from her. Tonight and some other random occasions in the past when I was feeling like sh!take, a call from her pops up all of a sudden. Out of the blue. Without a warning. Like a tsunami thatís about to drown the whole world and wash off all my fears. I was super down and wanted to cry it out but could not. That kind of feeling is rather more devastating that being sad itself. I guess I am weird. I felt better after hearing momís voice. No explanation. Just sheer nothingness but connection.†

12/09 Direct Link

Looking for a Havana dress to use for the upcoming company Christmas party, and I found myself scrolling on vacation spots. I also ended on YouTube watching Putinís vacation in Siberia and Freddie Mercuryís videos when he was still healthy looking, manly with all the mustache and all. He is lovely even on that bold shirtless performance on stage. I will have to see more of these. Putin is sexy. I just have to put it that way. Just like Feddie, there are some clips where he is also shirtless. Not into nude men, but these two are just hihihi.†

12/10 Direct Link

Now I have no idea how I ended up on puppy cuteness overloaded videos. On auto play, they are lovely. They are cute. Did I say cute again and again? I couldnít stop smiling. Well, Iím having a lot of Ďwhat ifsí going on in my head. Living and moving to a less dense place for good. Un-city if you may. I mean without the convenience of a city. Cities in general are overrated. Getting a property in Palawan and build a house there seems like a nice idea. The one thatís near the beach and surrounded by palm trees and greeneries. Iím dreaming, I know.

12/11 Direct Link

Today was about malling and walking around. I need my legs up as soon as I got back to the office. Kristine is doing all her might inflating the air bed. Camping night it is! We had an early birthday celebs earlier in the day for myself and for three others. Working with people who work remotely is cool. But it can be like something that calls for a party whenever the meet up is done, and nothing on the work side is done. †Itís like an added event needing separate schedules on its own. And budget, too.

12/12 Direct Link

Bangag still, but striding out and making it. With only a little hours of sleep and too many deadlines to beat, I can imagine my college self, working on a thesis. The longest time I have spent on a project as a student, only to be slaughtered in less than five hours in front of an emotionless defense panel. It was worth it though, but how it felt was etched and itís paying a visit. I had some milk tea which I think is causing me constipation. I have a book with me now, but I cannot concentrate reading.

12/13 Direct Link

†Yesterday, I stayed home and worked from home. It went well except the sleeping pattern was disrupted, and I am reaping the sh!tty effects today, which is worse than yesterday. I am done with the deadlines though, and instead of spending time doing and absorbing something less nonsense or productive on YouTube or Facebook, I opted to bring with me a book to read. But my brain isnít cooperating. It feels oversaturated and unable to take more words in anymore. I can do black out poetry, but I am feeling sorry for the book. Iím not ready to destroy it.†

12/14 Direct Link

I unfollowed a travel page on Facebook for posting an over stan reaction and screaming-filled emojis over a news article about Jason Momoa's arrival at the Manila airport. I mean, come on girl! Switch your Facebook access to your personal account. That is what responsible social media managers do first things foremost. They check whether they are in the right territory before posting anything. Or in this case, before making the page look stupid and totally nonsense. It just does not make sense to me seeing churrerias restaurant serving ramen no matter appetizing they look like. Business pages are all about image.†

12/15 Direct Link

After the company party last night, we headed straight back to the hotel because we were all tired. We did walk around somehow. Kristine had a sudden moment of frantic scream when a ratata suddenly appeared on the road. We were laughing like thereís no tomorrow. It was 2 AM. The after party was spent at a nearby Chowking as there were no other 24-hour options except McDonalds. We made plans of staying around Manila again sometime soon so that we can take advantage of the museums during the weekends and the Binondo trip that has long been planned. Well, vaguely planned.†

12/16 Direct Link

After checking out of the hotel near Intramuros, I headed straight to Heritage in Pasay to meet up with a friend who just landed from Jakarta. She is back in the homeland for a former studentís wedding. I knew I had other plans for the day, but when she took a nap after lunch, I also felt the need to give in for siesta. I was awaken only after a couple of hours by the sound of the toilet flushing. Catching up is fun, but we realized we have a lot of things to do. Adulting as they say, I had to take and bring her insurance policy to her, a folder that has long been sitting in my desk at home.

12/17 Direct Link

Highlights of today, errÖ yesterday rather-- Ray and I talked about how our immune system is noticeably changed and shaken by age. The early part of the midnight before today was spent at a coffee shop in Eton Centris. The piped in music accompanied me in welcoming my birth day. Aside from the slow, calm, and soothing instrumental, there was a band playing reggae songs just right outside the shop. I realize that I have been around places since last month, and I could no longer count how many nights I have not slept in my own bed. And so when I got home today, I felt like the smell is strange. Or maybe the house just needs deep cleaning.††

12/18 Direct Link

After Calculus and Physics were dolled up, I dropped them off to Sanctuario de San Jose in San Juan. This route later has led me to stroll at Robinsons Galleria, and in an effort to avoid traffic and waste no time, I was again at a coffee shop working. I am convinced that with the amount of caffeine-and-sugar-induced drinks that I have been consuming, I could actually save up a lot if I made them on my own. But coffees made at coffee shops are real nuggets. They feel yummy. The smell around is invigorating. I know Iím blabbering again.††

12/19 Direct Link

I sent several colleagues a thank-you message before the party kicked off, and it amazes me how some are so affected and one expresses so well how the message means a lot to him. This made me realize that a tap on the shoulder and personal notes are far more motivational than the impact bonuses can give, and its impartiality. Although the monetary implication is as important, remarks that people can freely show to the world that they are doing things right are sweeter. Itís been a long day, and am meeting up with Jan and Ray later for a super late night catching up with the guros. I feel energized.††

12/20 Direct Link

Mulling over relationships and marriages that are on the verge of breaking down. Or breaking up. Whichever suits best. And with the opportunity and temptation to go overboard and totally kill it. It utterly exhausts me just the idea itself. I am convinced that photos of happy people posted on social media are just like that - controversial and debatable manifestations that they are not, in fact, real. I am experiencing it first-hand. In a hotel in Makati. At the witching hours of midnight. With the thought of a challenging Grab booking later, I am absorbing all the energy, and I hope my naÔve presence is helping.†

12/21 Direct Link
​It was one random night.
But the napkin is real that you have been carrying all around.
I mean, you went out for a slice of pizza, and you may have run into the one.
You know what that is?
Itís insanity.
Not insanity.
And you donít mess with serendipity.
I mean, whatís the worst that could happen?
She doesnít show up and you go back to your party.

But thatís also not at all.
You are afraid that she will show up.†
12/22 Direct Link

Three days before Christmas and the bisperas is a Monday making it a long weekend. The carmageddon rush brought me to take my chance of a lighter traffic at EDSA Benin. Took Taft and ended up in Quirino Highway, commuting like no other. I stopped by at a fast food resto because the other side of EDSA heading to rotonda was not moving. Iím heading there, too. Itís a bit raining, but the moon is up there. Itís not bright but itís round and full. The gentle pouring drizzle added to the filter making the moon shine visibly radiant. Itís beautiful.††

12/23 Direct Link

"Got caught in love and stepped in sinking sand." This may be my favorite line in the song of Freddie Mercury, Love Me Like Thereís No Tomorrow. Itís poetic and itís like from here to there. That feeling you get when listening to music with passion Ė get drown in space and just let the string of the hammock takes care of you at the same time drawing you the rawest connection to that bliss you have been running after. I hate it that I kept writing about traffic and coffee shops these days. I feel like sinking and flying at the same time.††

12/24 Direct Link

The online community is still hyped with the winning of Miss Philippines in the Miss Universe pageant. I clicked on some of her interviews in the past months prior, and the lady is well verse and well spoken. She knows what she wants, she knows her history, and she knows what she is talking about. Mesmerizing is the word that I can associate with her. Also young and beautiful and inspiring. She defines passion, too. And losing, which is not an option. Some validation that when you put your hard work in, your heart will be there. Her name sounds cool too Ė Catriona. Her boyfriend is hot too. Yay!††

12/25 Direct Link

Receiving a mail from a stranger who claimed that I seated next to her on a flight from Amsterdam to Taiwan on Christmas day felt weird. Iím amused. It is not because of the fact that I received it mistakenly but the idea of still sending short messages. With the so many microblogging and messaging applications these days, getting an email reminds me of that same feeling I felt towards snail mails when emails were a thing. I still use emails every day but itís generally for work. Getting personal emails, or even those repeatedly forwarded messages, feels like a thing in the past.†

12/26 Direct Link

So I have been ignoring emails I was getting in Gmail for years now. I thought at first that they were all spams. Maybe they are. But maybe they are not. The address is almost the same as mine with a dot in between my names. The mails are meant for someone. †I was getting billings, payment notifications, bank information, and a subscription from Michaelís meant for a person in the US. Another from a conveyancer in London, a request for a Consent to Proceed and a Deed of Transfer Ėtransactions I have looked into, and man they all look legit with personal data of the recipient. The law office is kinda persistent I must say.

12/27 Direct Link

Months ago, I got a class schedule, and eventually included in a group mail, as I was enrolled in a PhD program in a University in Madrid. Apparently. Theyíre all writing in Spanish. Amazing. And lastly, I was able to befriend on Facebook that Pakistani guy who hails in Helsinki, who has been sending me personal emails, which are obviously written for someone else. †Now getting a Christmas card attached to a Christmas greeting in an email on a Christmas day amuses me more than worries me. I wonder if others are also getting random emails meant for me. Or if they receive my spams, too.†

12/28 Direct Link

Everyone at work except us is so worked up about the idea of the ďlast working day of 2018Ē including my boss. That actually disappointed to me big time. I was like, isnít this Xi Jinping aware that there is still 31st and that Iím going to work on that day? And that my teams are gonna be working their butt off on that day, too? Nothing beats being thoughtless about other peopleís struggle. I wish to be more positive and inspirational on this last Friday of the year, but nothing is adding up. Well, except itís a heavy fudge!

12/29 Direct Link

My meal time during the weekend, or on days when I donít have to go to office, is highly hooked on what time I wake up in the morning. It is dysfunctional, to say the least. I am at a coffee shop at this hour of the night, and Iím settling in here for late lunch. Itís lunch because Iíve had some hot beverage before I left the house. I havenít been awake that long. I filled myself with chicken fajita roll that tasted like itís from a fastfood joint. Their New York cheesecake however is to die for.

12/30 Direct Link

The Starbucks at Congressional is a little bit less crowded than the one in Mindanao, except it is not 24 hours. Itís bigger, thatís why. Sitting in the corner with two plates on the tiny coffee table, I am like a super hungry witch who just got out of the cave. Not literally, but itís true. My hair is still damp, which means I did not blow dry my hair and itís not been long since I left my house. I got a good spot in the corner anyway, but still. I might as well sit here until it closes. I brought a laptop with me.†

12/31 Direct Link

The guard is going around each table showing a piece of paper with a car plate number written on it. Someone double parked. How polite of this shop to not announce it through the sound system, but instead silently finding the shoopid of a human being around.† Be that as it may, I got distracted of course, but not annoyingly. I looked around, too. And ohhh! There is a movie actor in the room, unassuming that he is not noticed. Also, Iím seated next to a family Ė father, mother, and son all glued to their own mobile phones. Iím not gonna judge, but I find it sad.†