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What is the point of writing 100 words? I'm not quite sure exactly, but I am doing it anyway. I'm sure this space will turn into my own mini place of catharsis each day. These 100 words will be rant filled tales of my days tirelessly trying to engage students to learn. I hope that by the end of this month, I will either gain some new insight into my daily struggles or maybe just become a quicker typist. Quick typing is a skill I can definitely learn to perfect. Thus, the end of day one. Now, just 29 more...
So incredibly tired today. I'm always so afraid that I'll forget this 100 words assignment. Today was a generally good day, although I think my classes were a little bored. Seventh period, however, was an absolute nightmare. How hard is it for students, two months into the school year to come in, sit down quietly and start the warm up by the bell? It's been a struggle, filled with many detention slips. My other classes seem to be getting the hang of it though. Freshman certainly need a lot of reminders on how to behave. Thank goodness it is Friday...
Again with the 100 words. I seriously feel like one day I might forget. I am feeling a bit anxious today about all of the school work that I have to do. It is so overwhelming being a grad student and a first year teacher. I am still experiencing the same anxieties from college even ow in my grad school experience. I'm just not confident in my writing and my own beliefs. Ever since experiencing the harsh criticism from college professors, I feel so inadequate. I need to find that balance between school, work and life still. Here's to hoping...
Why were Sundays created? Sundays are my least favorite day of the week. Sunday is no longer a day of rest, instead it's a day of lesson planning, school work, cleaning, laundry, and dreading the upcoming week. Even Saturdays are dreaded, because I know it is soon going to be Sunday. Why can't I just be better at getting my work done throughout the week. I feel like I am never going to get ahead. I am looking forward to Christmas break, not because it's going to be a break (laugh), but because I can finally get ahead in life.
Sometimes I seriously wonder why anyone actually, willingly chooses to be a teacher. This is single-handedly the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I'm frustrated today, because no matter how engaging I make my activities, kid are just becoming more and more apathetic and unruly (two words I hate). It's like they are in this mid semester slug where they're just angry, bored and talkative ALL THE TIME. And honestly, I am angry all the time at them. At the moment, teaching has solely become classroom management. Do I really still have seven more months of this?
It's undoubtedly my least favorite day of the every four year cycle. Oh, just on of the greatest days to be an American, some people might say. How, can I get excited by two of the most uninspiring people during one of the Nation's most depressing times? Why I hate politics is because of the intolerance. People are too far into their beliefs that inevitably politics becomes an accusation of personal character and intelligence. Since when did people forget that it's everyone's right to have their own opinion? As election day nears an end, I sit comfortably under my covers.
What an interesting day so far. You would think it would be a break having your freshman students work on laptops for testing, but oh no.... you would be so wrong. Why is that students these days don't have the common sense to figure simple things out for themselves. "Miss, do I put my name here" Me: "Yes, obviously you put your name where it says name." I never want to do this again, yet I have to two more times. And my data, by the way, is quite horrendous. I feel ashamed even though I know it is early.
I honestly don't know how today's youth have made it this far in life. They require help and explanation for EVERY little thing in life. They either have no common sense or have been raised to be reliant on adults for every step they should take in life. My freshman students really push me to my limit. How do they ask the most common sense questions for everything? "Miss, should I number the questions I'm answering?" "Miss, should I write my name where it says name?" "Miss, do I start at question number one?" We are truly raising mindless children.
Today I woke up and truly thought "today is going to be a good day." And for the most part, it actually was. All my periods were on task, following rules and directions. They were truly amazing. That is, until.... sixth period. Why sixth period must your ruin everything? The students are talkative, apathetic, and downright rude. It came to the point where I literally told the class to stop what they're doing, take out their taxtbook and a sheet of paper and start copying a story. And I made sure they were silent for the rest of the period.
I love three day weekends more than just about anything right now. I also love that my parents are in town and the weather is getting chilly. Soon we'll be eating turkey and then even sooner we'll be opening presents. What's great about having parents in town is they buy free food and basically free anything else. My main goal this weekend with my parents is to eat as much as physically possible. Then, we'' go to the grocery store and I'll get even more food! As Oliver Twist would say, "FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD!" I think the countdown has begun...
What's not good about a three day weekend? The fact that there is still a ton to do. At least I had one guilt free day of doing nothing. But today is back to business as usual. My goal for today: lesson plan for writing for proficiency, grade English 9 warm ups, and create a new seating chart for my freshman. They've become so terrible, I hope a seating chart does some good. My plan for tomorrow: TESL homework, and seriously putting in some effort to my research paper. Sorry Nayellee, I swear I will make this paper worth reading.
Oh how I love that first on burst of wintery weather. I'm never ready for winter, and seeing as I am from Phoenix, AZ, the wintertime is a cool 60 degrees for me. Anything below that and I'm pretty sure I am about to die of hypothermia. Everything about the onset of winter or even spring just makes me happy to be alive. The mornings seem brighter, colors more vivid, air more crisp and clean. If I weren't so busy, the one thing that I would want to do is just sit outside in the sun and enjoy a book.
How do you know if you're ever doing the right thing? I try so hard for my students and who knows if anything is really paying off. I made a new seating chart and that just happened to make my students talk even more, even when I thought that I had created the perfect chart. And it's only November... Don't students realize that they have another seven months to spend in my classroom? I guess they are only fourteen and fifteen years old, but still, they need to come to class ready to learn. I hope it gets easier eventually.
One more week! One more week until Thanksgiving, thank goodness. I can't wait to go home, be with my family and enjoy good food. I just keep thinking to myself, what am I going to do after Thanksgiving. Four full weeks of school. And then what am I going to do after winter break when we have another full semester together? I truly hope that winter break is like a giant reset button for students, but I doubt it. I just hope they (and myself) don't come back as tired as before. We still have so much more to do.
I was waiting for these past two days for what seems like forever. Finally, two days where I don't have to teach my freshman. Thank goodness for career services and their presentation on some website. It was so so nice not having freshman for two whole days. So, this is what it must feel like to have a prep... I wouldn't know since mine was sold for me. But alas, these two days have come and gone, and now I'm back to the daily grind. I feel like every day I'm getting better, even if it's very a small amount.
Recently, I've begun to feel very taken advantage of... by my students, my administration, and even my friends. Why is it when you work so hard to do what's best, you get shit on? There's no respect. My students complain when they have to watch a movie. My co-workers assume that I'm doing all the planning for our grade level. I happen to be teaching four different subjects with no prep. No respect, no respect, no respect. No wonder I want to sleep all the time. It's days like these that make me feel bad for all educators. Rough.
Everyday I am learning new things that I know I should implement into my classroom. The only problem is, finding the time to do it and implementing it in the best way possible. I had been contemplating for a while somehow implementing centers into my freshman class. I have 50 min class periods most days, however, I have lovely 90 min periods on Wednesday and Thursday. I am excited to implement centers for vocabulary, reading fluency, and informational texts. The only problem is that I have no time to work out the logistical factors of. Great, another winter break task...
I keep putting off this research paper (sorry Nayelee). But today I'm finally going to face the beast. I am seriously going to sit down and really research something I am interested in. But, I still need to find time to do normal planning for the week. There just aren't enough hours in the day! I really hope that all of this hard work is paying off somehow, whether my students are truly learning or at least I'm setting myself up for a better career in the future. Is teaching for me anymore? I'm not sure, but I'm so tired.
Nothing to really write today... although, sixth and seventh period haven't happened yet, so who knows. Thank goodness there is no grad school tonight. Sometimes I think, why can't I jut pay the ten thousand dollars for the diploma and not do any of the work. Most of the times grad school just seems like such a hassle and an afterthought compared to what I need to do for teaching. But, if I can get through full time teaching and graduate school within two years, I know that I can accomplish anything. Hopefully it won't be as hard as this.
Why does seem like when I can almost have that perfect day, something has to go wrong? Although, I think partially why my sixth and seventh period were so good was because I was trying to mellow out from the fiasco of fourth period. One of my students just refuses to jump on board with our civic leadership class. Part of being leaders means that we cannot use racist or derogatory language to our peers, even if they are our best friends. I don't understand why students feel the need to be obstinate just for the sake of being difficult.
The day before Thanksgiving! What a wonderful holiday, yet there is still so much to be done over the break. It's just not fair. Why is teaching so hard? This holiday break I will be lesson planning, sleeping, writing a research paper, eating, lesson planning, and sleeping some more. It's just never ending. How am I going to survive next semester? Spring semester seems so much worse than fall. Fewer breaks, kids are antsy, nobody wants to be in school anymore. I just hope that I can get ahead over winter break and become a somewhat better teacher. Here's hoping...
This is probably the first year in four years that I have actually been able to enjoy a Thanksgiving without having to worry about being at work the next day. I'm so glad to be out of college and not working those restaurant jobs anymore. However, know I have an even more stressful job on my hands. It definitely sucks when all holidays are ruined because you know that they're just going to be over. I don't think I have ever been so pessimistic before. But today I enjoyed a favorite past time of sitting in the sun and eating.
My first black Friday ever! Granted, I'm not going out at two o clock in the morning and I have no intentions of buying a flat screen tv. But it is nice to take a break and go shopping for once. Yet, I always feel guilty about shopping for myself, especially since Christmas is around the corner. At least this year is finally turning out to be a good year for my entire family. It's especially well deserved for my parents. Finally having my own stable career and my parents are settling into a new life. 2013 come at me!
Just as I thought, what should be a joyous four day weekend has slowly been turning to dread with each passing day. Today, I have been catching up on UNLV work. Will it never end? These two years of teaching and grad school better pay off for my future. Right now seems like such an in between moment in my life. I'm so happy to be out of college and getting one step closer to a stable career, but these next two years are just filler time to get there. I've never lived so much for the future than now.
My last day of freedom until school tomorrow. I have been dreading this for four days. I've realized that lately I have become to pessimistic and I hate it. I'm never normally a pessimistic person. But I've really seen why it's so hard to be a teacher and it's hard at times to see through all the shit we put up with every day. I need to learn how to just be calmer throughout the day. I need to love my kids again. I haven't been showing them much lately that I actually care about them. I need winter break.
Oh dear, I think I am getting sick. Why does any kind of break from work immediately bring on the sickness. It seems like just when my body gets a break, I get sick. Teaching and sickness are two things that do not go together. Hopefully it's just a quick thing that will go away tomorrow. I haven't missed a single day of school yet, and I don't think that I can afford to miss any days. With my freshman doing a research project in the library, I just have to keep my body alive until Christmas. Four more weeks!
It's definitely no fun being sick and teaching. I think what I truly dislike is not the teaching, but the planning. All I want to do right now that I'm sick is just take a hot bath... but I have to plan. This weekend will be no respite either as I have a ton of unlv work to catch up on. I don't think that there will be any coasting these next four weeks until winter break. It's going to be brutal, but I just have to make it through. Also, today I got two really nice letters from students.
Sick as a dog. I made it through three whole days of teaching with apparently a temperature of 102 degrees. So it looks like I'll be taking a sick day tomorrow. I absolutely do not want to use my sick day, but I really look like shit. My students even said so. The hardest part about being sick is feeling so cold, but the doctor says not to bundle up of take a hot shower, because that only raises your body temp. So, I'm going to eat some hot soup instead. He didn't say anything about hot foods. No school!
My first day absent from school and boy was it needed. I went to the doctor yesterday with a fever of 102 and I'm still feeling pretty cruddy today. I'm just so tired and my body aches. I want to eat real food but I'm not sure that my stomach can handle it just yet. I'll probably take tomorrow off from school as well, but I'll have so much work that I'll need to get done. Hopefully, I can rest and do work at the same time. I've never had a flu last this long and it needs to end!
Wow, I can't believe I have mad it 30 days of writing 100 words. I thought for sure that this would be more of a hassle. Luckily I only forgot once or twice to write an entry. All in all not a bad experience. I don't think my entries were terribly insightful, but it was nice to get my thoughts out in writing. I'm still sick and lesson planning. Not a good combination. Hopefully I can a majority of my work done today so I can focus on writing my research paper tomorrow. Just three more weeks until winter break!
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