03/01 Direct Link

another edges into the frame. somewhat. hustling & bustling. wondering. is this the ides. all crouched with edgy vigour. emanating from another time. the soothsayers warning. to toothy old caesar. ringing triumphantly with hastily cornered aplomb. from a makeshift internet enquiry. convened on the hoof for later consumption. in fact the fifteenth. and none the worst for that. as was the case. in its day. where it meant nothing more sinister than. does. now. michaelmas. or even daisy. pedalling down buchanan. in search of eff scotts ghost. or wondering. is this a clue. and what of this strange left field
03/02 Direct Link

dangling with utmost propensity at the end of the night. after counting down in horley. a little town hid insouciantly ahent the airport. and almost. like one of those ever so english vistas one sees only. and has ever scene. in old black & white fifties ealing visions. all good egges & cheekie chappies. and quiet on sunday. shut almost. like a time warp. a subliminal chronological shift. existing virtually subconsciously at a level that is barely perceptible but intensely affecting. with a flood of gooey nostalgia.

for what never was

and never is

and never will be



03/03 Direct Link

a day of survivals. counting at covent garden in unimaginable rolling racks that went on forever. crammed to bursting with goods of every description layed up as though in preparation for war.
getting kinda grumpy to boot.
made amends by giving this new guy a lift back to brixton in preferred preference to the vagaries of the night bus.
but that was in the evening.
(and not when the sun went down)
in the morgen to a meet with the head mistress. which went- in the humble opinion of your scribe – extremely well.
and for which we vouchsafe many thanks.

03/04 Direct Link

nothing has contributed more to selfishness abounding everywhere than “my” functions proliferating abandonedly all over this nett of our’n/festooning peecee’s with narcissistic garlands rather than whispering warm soft alohas/screaming snarl spitt & MY MY MY/mine alone/my site my cart my account/my this my that/turning us all into solipsistic buffoons/sitting here down all the daze fannying about with multifarious software doodahs/when we could be out there/getting on with real life/the same way proper yozzers do/getting a true shott of emotional wallop/galloping down the frog & toad/rabbiting on the dogg & bone/and generally rogering the bejasus outta the gates inspired status quo
03/05 Direct Link

baby bee et moi sont chez nous aujourd hui. he with an injured legge from the birthday beats. a long & time honoured tradition he informs & one that it is his duty to continue. that & the sublimated desire for a little tickettyboo day of rest. some ad hoc R&R with some two for eight videos courtesy of woollies. spaced out on the sofa whilst old zoot is clattering these keys into some kind of makeshift submission. knowing all the while that all is really well. rather than just going along with all of this for a little peace
03/06 Direct Link

for a few dollars more is by far the most remarkable of the leone trilogy. the plot unfolds with an almost reckless relentlessness and yet at the same time is framed from within with slow deliberate unbelievable balletic undercurrents. all kinds of tragedic asides are conducted by way of inference and hidden suggestion. all are borne along using mood atmosphere and indelibly hued chiaroscuro. the whole building to an operatic climax between lee van cleef and gian maria volonte where clint eastwoods man with no name is reduced to a candide. an innocent abroad stumbling into he knows not what
03/07 Direct Link

the imprint on the soul that a loss at chess engenders is ten times more intense in its impingement than is the effect of the corresponding bundle of joy set in play by a win. this is because theres really no need to lose. leastways not on this watch. white has the advantage of first attack and provided this is maintained a win should ensue. black has the advantage of being able to counter every move and provided this is maintained black cannot lose. thus when a loss does rear its head pandemonium shadows of vast proportion are sprung skyward
03/08 Direct Link

the joys of swimming are great to behold. the funkie cold plunge. coming up for air. stonking down the back straight boulevarde. whether doing front stroke or side. upstroke or down. feeling the abrasive wash of cool air speeding across the the troubled brow. bringing a sweet potion of salve to blighted nether aching regions. made wickedly motley by the astringent palavers of the noisome urban grind. all can be made whole again. all can be made good. a tripp to nirvana. a quick schlepp down damascus highway.


without a leisure card all this is just a tad conjectural

03/09 Direct Link

two daze done counting at the topp peoples store. rather pleasant really. apart from the usual hiccups surprisingly well organised. most of the usual suspects stonking round the sidelines. quite a few of the northern crew. though also. quite a few of the names on the hotel roster not in evidence. whatever. there were eighteen separate counts going down. so. as one might imagine. considerable room to manouvre was online. not to say tap. and. with only a minimum creative endeavour it would no doubt have been perfectly possible to stay totally offline for the duration of the total performance
03/10 Direct Link

the geezer up the stair has just got a ticket for parking his enormous white van in front of the hall. giving the old schadenfreude a much needed shot in the arm. well every weltanschauung should have one and these buy to rent merchants deserve all that’s coming to them. they have ruined the housing market. buying and selling property like they were marked down supermart brands. all the snatchers fault of course. and where is she now. a forlorn old bagg lady. having lain waste the auld sod for a hill of drunken judas beans.


You hopeless hasbeen

03/11 Direct Link

double bubble aujourd hui. one in the forenoon plus one in the post noon. counts that is. electrical doodads in the former – up north of the river – and baby bits in the ole kings road no less – in the latter. all delivered with a faint draculish whiff of the night. at breakneck pace rushing from one to the other. however makes jack not all a dull boy. so that’s all right then. as long as we’re not talking overlook proportions here. or hearing the quiet buzz of here’s johnny emanating out of the silent predatory rafters with gushing gothic razzamatazz
03/12 Direct Link

baby bear is off again. a catalogue of vague aches & pains keeping him from his labours. although when all is said & done it turns out the real reason is the imminent appearance of a new herman. this quite frankly is unber unber unber. unber fucking lievable is what it is. consumerism gorn madd. and for one so young to be so afflicted is quite sadd. a state of affairs for which the blame must rest squarely at the helm of zoots watch. must make supplications & endeavours to assuage this condition. though how seems none too classicly easie
03/13 Direct Link

preparing for a touch of macht frei. through the old gap. though whether watford or cumberland is not known. safe to say though. the place would make a mark. a veritable haberdash don’t you know. something to rap round the loins and keep the winter suns at bey. through endless shelves. and locations so vast a man had to set out accompanied by a buoy and a horse. and was. so the story was told. never scene again. except to haunt at the fringes of dead imagination. imagine. a world so dead. forgotten. ringed around. with the images of ghosts
03/14 Direct Link

General nevadas body bagg is definitely in the count The good soldier himself may be out of it but the contents sure as numpty aint Troopers and infantry men are lined up to the horizon Going in not just two by two Butt four by four Eight by eight even If the pieces are kidnapped right Singing Whistling Anything My mate Marmite Whatever Keeps them off the business at hand & Rightly more Focussed On killing They don’t like it Up ‘em Says a psyched up corporal jones Hoping this is going to be more psychedelic nam than workaday gulf
03/15 Direct Link

getting out of genre would seem to be the best approach. one way & another everybody gets caught. they're out there. twentyfour hours a day. waiting to pounce. unsuspecting like. then. bingo. done gone. & joe slogg despite utmost endeavours is hung. suspended. his best intentions gone west. down abilene way. and thinking the while. of how wonderful freedom would be. can be in fact when one has finally lain to rest the false constraints. of undreamt of restrictions. made constantly bold. by the machiavellian diaspora of unwanted genres. sneaking into the frame & making insolently merrie with the scenario

03/16 Direct Link

its almost like summer out there. cyril is pleasantly at chow on next doors lawn. a scene almost of domestic bliss. the scariest of scenarios that might occur being that said cyril might mount an attack on madames window box. not a recommended course of action in his shoes. nailing tails on the stoop as a warning has not been ruled out.

and yet. with all this. we may be going to war.

indeed. may even be there already.

hammering through the desert. blowing each other apart.

and all for nothing.

for a hill of beans.

and all that oil

03/17 Direct Link

remember the old scaffold song. that went comme ca.

Todays monday
Monday is washing day
Is everybody happy
You bet your life we are

anyway apropos of nothing at all & in honour of this have got the ole tubberoo out and have zonked through four washes aujourd hui.

to whit

2 tickettyboo nice peoples number nines
one ronking stonking take on all comers numero four
& finally – just for good measure – a white wash

though whether this last actually occurred in the space time whatsit is open to debate.

there are those who maintain its all just a whitewash.

03/18 Direct Link

lets here it for robin cook & lets give it up as well. that rare breed. a man of conviction. what now brown tone. vanishing up the corporate rectum of big chief nine eleven. trotting poodle like to stand inline & bagg innocent scalps

george dubb is scary. very scary indeed. he addresses the world as though he were talking to children. and. whats worst of all. he acts like a child himself. one of those spoilt sanctimonious primary school types who live in a completely unreal alter ethos

so endeth the thoughts for today

& with them reality

03/19 Direct Link

some schools of thought and indeed they are many. and come from all shades of the polit spectrum. will maintain. stridently & vociferously that the appeasement of the great dictator in 38 was a mistake. & one which histoire has made us pay dearly for. well the thing is. is this other guy in that league. are we there encore une fois. the hawks would no doubt vouchsafe a thundering yes. whereas the doves. with a somewhat selfconscious flic of the wings might more understandably wish to inject a shot of caution into the equation

who is more right though?

03/20 Direct Link

tres cream crackered aujourd hui. after eleven hours on the early shift (the late was sixteen for gods sake) though of course it would have been good to be on it for the doh rae me. thus have been phernackerpanned on a scale approaching ten in a scale that approached ten. and in camberley of all places. where it could be considered a reasonable bet to assume all would be shipshape & bristol. & instead looked like aircraft hangers that feature in news reports from disaster zones

oh & the war began today

oh oh oh what a lovely ……..***!!!??

03/21 Direct Link

the real problem with eyerack is not sadman it is the twelve tribes. if bubba brush could start getting stuck into essex sharon with the same gung ho ineptitude he shows elsewhere then mayhap none of the second would be needed. the runcible apparatchic could be set out to grass. &boy he needs it. coelinn could be become colin & all might arrive home tired butt appi. but as it is???


friendly fire

the most dangerous jack in imperial sams box

spluttering outrage

endless talking heads

with nothing really nothing

to write home about

and certainly

to say


03/22 Direct Link

up to the land of Is in the morgen for videos. in madames locker & needed for baby bears party the morn. which requires much preparations by way of food cleansing organising etc etc. fixing up. a whole mess of domestix that zoot & madame do not normally go in for. preferring instead to hold true to the old quentin crisp number about dust taking on its own raisin d’etre after six monats a veritable crust don’t you know. a patina a sheen that the inhouse makeover/pattern designers can never hope to emulate.

so there yogi

another in the eye

03/23 Direct Link

baby bears party haute & all seems to have gone well. videos games pizza plus some ad hoc frizzing on the green. which last seemed to cause some moment of pause to a maverick church elder. concerned at reclaiming of space. certainly seems to keep bubba brush in votes though. probably not for much longer. however let us not digress. dear friends. there’s more to life than war. though perhaps not much more to war than death.

Damn thing

Keeps sneaking into everything

On this

Day of celebration



Lets leap three times in the air

And yell


03/24 Direct Link

the day started pleasantly enough. fixing the glass in the back or rather effecting a good field repair. where the crescent shaped shard popped out last night. closing the thing too fast. not enough care and due caution. then it just started to disintegrate. the day that is. rather in the manner of an escaped balloon farting & darting like a manic dervish mouse into all the wrong corners. all projects coalesced into a plethora of nothing in extremely particular &the talent of a good director. tarkovsky say. was needed to set it back in a tickettyboo state of whack.
03/25 Direct Link

what news boys?
what news?
what news of the war?
what is it good for?
does it drag on?
does it roar?
does it burne like a dragon?
does it scare like a bear?
are there troopes that would give their all for a flagon?
are there more who will disintegrate under friendly fire?
are there yet more unpalatable surprises?
are there still a division or two to go?
is it getting there?
is georgie boy burning like a bush on damascus highway?
is the flair of his rhetoric setting an untimely snare?
is there any way of actually knowing?
03/26 Direct Link

art is like a minefield. sneaking round corridors. poking about in bathrooms. endangering outmoded theories of endogenous growth. looking for old clues left by buddies of the third policeman. playing them out shadow style on abandoned curtains. left wartorn & hanging. wantonly profligate in these extreme needie times. dodging general nevadas spies. making much of little & something of nothing. for too much of a rainy day. or indented for a facsimile of muchness. spread paper thin as sardine skin on bald linoleum. sent splintered on many old used mohican blades. but blessed with a sense of absurdly precocious ridiculousness.

03/27 Direct Link

the wall is surrounded with tiny pieces of spent plasma. which makes reading the runes in these hereabouts a tad difficile. the horizon has become entwined with the foreground in weighs which are not readily digestible. indeed may be considered monstrously productive of heartburn. that beloved addict of the brochure crowd. and if allowed to proceed unchecked may result in a bad dose of comic underblow. and this as all will allow is an exceedingly morose outlook. bedecked on all sides with undivided measures. elongated as necessary. often cut with magick & diluted with circumstance. or terminated with extreme vigour
03/28 Direct Link

peppered with happenstance is one weigh of looking at it. mayhap there are others. mayhap there is someone called carruthers. fresh from the ministry and out to make a killing. lying hidden in guilt at a handy half corner. beckoning an oncoming footshoulder with an obvious tissue of lies. loose jaws cause cerebral ties. its easily writ. on yonders bight of mesmer green. and flooding djinn at common tangles begets wrongs that are most seriously astray. ever remembered by forgotten minstrels. plying their trade on shoreditchs finest. or making reasonable cause for passable effect. or endless concession towards terminal rest
03/29 Direct Link

sir realist wallpaper is everywhere. posing with élan. papering over endless cracks with dubious wise. soaking all and sundry for non efficient large. causing over easy to make tangential deposits in three times certain. around the sultry border of disorder if preference has a half chance. where small hieroglyphs cunningly worked into the surround contain whisps of message in whispering chinoise. and contain escher stairs which stretch to infinity. for the safe deliverance of phantom tarzines. all rapt in studious gender. translated with difficuly from coarse differentials. whose provenance is nowhere near what might be imagined. or even attached to
03/30 Direct Link

its mothers day and once again the card companies are out to rook all & sundry with acres of cards full of the cheap sentiment of poisoned nectar. however zoot has circumvented all this with some well chosen wordz of his own. these though are not for public display and shall remain in the form of a tryst betwixt zoot & madame.

now busily getting ready for lunch. doing it even. with guests from north of the river. who have come south on an expedition.

all this & have lost an hour as well. courtesy of summer a coming in.

03/31 Direct Link


its that time of the month again. made it through another one. despite all manner of myriad baffling constraints. and lets not forget the war here. with dub & rumbo out there we all better take cover. those guys are nutters of the first order. leading the world into global conflab numero drei. and definitely not of the talkin’ blues variety either. except in the cant lies & hypocrisy areas. which is the only place these mediocre buffoons show any vestige of talent at all. and even then it is only of the most mundanely pedestrian of persuasions.