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September 3, 2006
Obsession is the word. I am obsessed with this girl. Whenever someone mentions her name, all my old (or maybe perpetual) demons resurge. Her tragic story, her confidence, her desire to fight, the time I saw her cry in the hospital room while she was being bathed, her determination to make it and to walk again, her smile, her dismissal of the music I was listening as crap, my fears, my social inaptitude and fakeness, my being nerdy and ultra-competitive, her being popular, my not having a boyfriend, her having all the men at her feet. Wait, I am jealous&