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October 5, 2002

My friend Jake (see August 25) called me tonight, in a mood. He declared he was tired of being alone, he was tired of seeing me alone, so he was going to turn gay and I would be his bitch. Knowing he needed to talk, I jocularly volunteered to introduce him to the wonders of Gaydom, and then put two beers on ice for one of our heart-to-hearts. Upon his arrival, however, Jake shocked me by grabbing me and kissing me passionately, fervently, full-mouthed, tongues jockeying for position. Jake wasn't gay by kiss's end, but I was, tremblingly, born-again Gay.