August 13, 2001
Days like this make me wonder how I can stand to be with my self. I feel like tearing my skin inside out. I mumble to my self and my moods are worse then when I don’t get high. I feel manic and distraught. I have to fill all the gaps in time, so my mind won’t have been able to occupy that moment with thought. I’d like to go out and get drunk but I don’t have the money to spend. I know I don’t want to drink at home. I’m just sitting here with my mind on hold.