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February 16, 2005
couldn't face Petite's death. Still can't. Felt I let her down, too. Kept telling the owner she was losing weight, losing weight, can't get up. John was with me the last time. I wanted to sleep with her but didn't want to bother her. I wanted to put my coat over her but didn't. said he'd call me when the vet was coming and that I wouldn't want to be there when they take her body. I couldn't get out of bed in the morning. he called to say she died in the night so I didn't need to come.