Elsewhere in previous times,
say 4 decades or more ago,
a singer capable of reaching the higher registers made a big splash, you know?
Etched forever onto tape and vinyl that mellows,
Robert Plant did loudly croon
sometimes out of tune
the following inimitable bellows:
“Been dazed and confused for long it’s not true!”
But nowadays, we have lots more to do.
We may not be quite as dazed or confused, man,but each of us hasamid
a ZERO attention span!
Personally, I’d be quick to blame electromagnetic and radio frequency radiation
as sizable culprit in this phenomenon.
Thought of an old friend,
but the name? Couldn’t place her.
‘Twas if she was penciled in
as a blast of hot gas from way back when
then bleeped by an giant eraser!
A mental dredging, then out of his mind
this scrivener fledgling comported to find
a friend lineage sort of tracer.
No results found.
Market timing? He forbade her;
Davey, blimey, was not active trader.
Hanging out with sportsy dudes
eating lots of bad fried foods
Floyd did like, and would confide
his hot wings 'double suicide'.
But to this veggie farmboy dude
chicken wings ARE NOT FOOD!
Today, okay, as per this old ham:
whoopee, oy-vay! What a big bunch of SPAM!
How soon will the SPAM box get full filled?
Without emptying, how its rank contents build!
I’ll put up, I guess, with this burgeoning mess
as it seems to stay right in its place;
until it comes time to no longer possessthis GARBAGE that rots in my face.
Just wish I could burn it
but will simply upturn it
cast this e-dogshit off so complete;
And yup, it is easy
to bleep all that’s sleazy
with just a mere tap of ‘Delete’.
Last check of the most offending INBOX revealed approximately 238 SPAM
"messages", up from perhaps less than 200 the day before. What an
amazing waste of time, effort, electricity,and however grudgingly, creativity!
Gratitude abounds, however,for this shunting device so clever.
Such verbal dredge, and literal scum!
Hand me a sledge – I’ll pop their bum!
Yet of ‘SPAM Classics’, I’ve saved some,
and their linguistics? Bad as they come.
Having saved such ‘SPAM Classics’
and raved, “they’re fantastic”,
like the fat in pastrami well-marbled;
whilst with grammar so lax
and atrocious syntax
a pastiche of crap hopelessly garbled.
when is a knot not?
such as in ‘Bob & Ted’s Excellent Adventure’?
Well, or perhaps not
when I thought
and got fancy with a 'figure 8’ knot
and used it joined with a bowline taut,
tied it to a limb that was being loweredin conjunction with gravity,and
watched, red-facedand in the process of being actively chewed out,as the
ground men struggled to untie it.
Thus, an otherwise viable knot is NOT to be combined with another standalone
knot; or else full-featured functionality will be sacrificed and it will be all
Two World’s Water Dilemma:
She walked many miles
just to roust up some water
for which I commiserate;
But would she have smiles
for the cell phone I got her?
Would it she appreciate?
How about some priorities here?
She needs a boost; that much is clear!
No need to get juiced;
Is that OXFAM I hear?
Over here in the bloated world,
water filtratikon is on tap today
and I am listening – hey!
The site was WQA.org,
and we could bite on a smorgasboard.
But too much selection
I fear a rejection
pending when checkbook gets gored.
The puke-green bridge – you know, the one everyone and their hairy-assed
brother seems to take daily, and that has twin automobile-caused furrows carved
into its rapidly deteriorating concrete roadbed – spans a river lined with
filthy junkyards and dilapidated industrial parks.
The bridge, still somehow standing and functional, must be on someone’s list
for upgrade at some point in some not-too-distant future.
What is worthy of mention,
however, is lack of tension.
Unsightliness, yes, of the mess,
would be quite the tension and fuss;
it would impel a tug ‘o war, I guess
betwixt ‘‘them’, ‘the force’, and us’.
“Expect to pay more to stay warm this winter.”
Huh? What genius came up with THAT one?
Most likely it was a headline I came across,
and cast a glance
at it askance
as it came acrossthe balls of my eyes;
a sight I could cite as superfluous
that came across as no surprise,
citing that spate of sub-zero fate
that came across blustery skies.
Yes, that’s a given; but Chris?
Look how he’s livin’: Piss!
His latest electric billclocked in at nearly 300 bucks.Juice to kill? You bet
Such a bitter pill, he clucks.
When it comes time for sports, I
just turn them the hell off!
twist up their shorts,
gripe and continue to scoff!
Whap! Oh, party pantomime;
mucous, hearty green-washed slime.
‘Reputation’ to besmirch,
didn’t do in-depth research.
Spinning past the rotten barn,
not so fast! Here, spin this yarn!
With nary a leaf on any trees
a strange relief here if you please.
Soon more will be coming down
right here in this sleepy town.
Better hide all your stray dogs
fake a smile, don’t frown;
spin your friendly fascist cogs
bring Pussy Riot ‘round!
Oh, Janet, can it? Will censors ban it?
She once wrote a letter upon this planet.
She bested her better
to ferret away
that frigid letter
one wintry day.
Only, hey, a fibrous splinter
not so good
in that chilly winter
from shucking green wood
so willy nilly
heatin’ the hood
she was no longer chilly!
Yet that green wood
would be her ‘Undo’.
So she shrugged her shoulders
and moaned “Oh-screw!”
An utterance that once
seemed so absurd
she felt like a dunce
using Microsoft Word®.
With de-splintered fingers
and de facto prose,
this winter lingers
but anything goes.
D-day, or ‘Dread Day’in non-World War vernacular
was to be my foray
and while not spectacular,
it was something I just had to do:
going, so sad, to meet boys in blue.
A day in court thus to retort
the judge soundly drubbed me
as if for sport:
Man, how she rubbed me!
Back out to the lot
to fetch my rust-bucket
temper quite hot
but with some luck it
would or would not
hold my butt thus to truck it.
All told, the system had gotten mefor close to a hundred bucks,I’d soon
Post date – February
Upon arrival at the requisite kitty mansion, Davey immediately realized that the
respective felines didn’t give the least of sh**s for the detestable state of
human affairs occurring at any given time outside the confines of their
modest rectangular valley abode.
In fact, with any given infusion of carnivorous comestibles proffered to their
eagerly awaiting fangs and gustatory processing organs, they would care even
less what transpired in any given galaxy, let alone Gaia.
Moreover, Davey can neither confirm nor deny involvement in
any or all of the following activities, having roundly renounced disclosure of
such pusilanimous propensities previously:
Drinking toasts in ethanol snares,
meddling in west coast’s inane affairs,
slinging hosts’ silly Facebook shares,
bowling with ghosts and hitting spares,
viewing boasts on blank screen’s stares
or editing posts’ HTML squares.
He burned his pink tongue
with some way-too-hot tea
interspersed among, well, many a pee.
Today his urine flowed light and clear
no need to goad his bladder dear
as he made things almost perfectly clear
his liquid capacity was drawing near!
No ifs, miffs or
butsit was not just the strutsin our dear front end’s
misery shared;but also lost cushionfrom a badly worn
bushin’in the end, though,our expense was spared!I
told our mechanicwhilst not waxing manicabout 'thank you
marms' we had hit;when we heard a loud WHAM!I thought, “no,
thank you, ma'am!”And the metal slam noise did befit:control
arms, you're knowingwhose bushings were going;replacement
parts came in a kit.But you know what he said?This
mechanic, well-bredturned and quipped,“don't you worry
Tar Date February
’Round 11:30 a.m. it was, whilst
tooling around the rotary – albeit under pressure from New Yorkers who
routinely flout all traffic courtesies – the pressure was ON.
All four were on the tar, too, hence the title of this illustrious composition.
One vain asshole in particular latched onto my rear bumper in a way that raised
hackles, his tag not visible.
In such instances, one needs to take a deep breath before letting one’s temper
express, keeping in mind the basic precept that WAITING of any kind is a
foreign concept to a brash New Yorker.
Having lost the piece of paper
that says how much to pay
what was the cost of an auto caper
in that September fray?
It wasn’t that arduous of a daybut tiring nonetheless;
whilst writhing out in dappled gray
and cleaning up that mess.
(Read between the sheets:
’twas stuck behind the seats.)
Now of dung hate radio,
it could be rightly said
hear this, guy or lissome lady-o:
your ears will fill with lead!
It’s supposed to be, well, humor
but oh, how it falls flat!
Like a green and pus filled tumor
on foaming mouths so spat.
that last first month
of this chilled year
more to come, we fear!
slog, each day seems slowlike an
elderly dog, whom, if you may,
no longer walks or likes to play
but rather makes yellow snow.
out the window
Have a look-see, boys and girls!Scurrying deftly atop crust snow
go three fat-assed squirrels.
Now look at them try
oh, how they toil!
I’m a happy guy
for them I did foil.
no, none could be sweeter
than when I was done
no squirrels in bird feeder!
lost the piece of paper
that says how much to pay,
the just-lost cost of an auto caper
on one fateful September day
became like a broken windshield scraper
in a pell-mell iced foray.
wasn't all that hard of a day
but tiring nonetheless;
writhing out in the frigid fray
and cleaning up this f***in’ mess!
Then, with radio unfortunately on
list’ning to vocal patter;
hastening out to my place as a pawn
whilst hearing what didn’t matter.
supposed to be humorbut how
it falls flat!Like a
the brains of a gnat.
situated off high ledges.Serious
view. 15” thick walls – at least.Tractor
clean, sheen, lean, mean,
and well-freekin’ greased.
mighty good site for solarbut
they don't have it yet;when
wind blows past,
you know it's polar;
it will shiver your ass, you bet.
can also bet your ballsit's
warm inside those thick-assed walls
where warmth and info-tainment callsno need to go out yet.
out above the ledgesno need
pout; we've no sharp edgesquite the opposite we foundthat
these walls' edges were quite round.
Hear, oh dear
cretins of the “right”
who have made it clear
that their hate is a blight.
But with bile flowing strongthey'll
sling mud so deftplodding
their friends on the Left.
But if I be oh, so contrary
or perhaps just slightly droll;
Randsters aren’t my adversary
though each could be an asshole.
Cut to the chase, oh Randian boulder!
Yours will not prevail.
For all the burden will need to shoulder;
it goes beyond the pale.
So let’s not fuss, let alone have a fight
Ayn’s ghoulish ghost is with us tonight.