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07/01 Direct Link
It's a rabbit rabbit kind of day. Did I say rabbit rabbit to someone or did I just say those two words in bed when I woke up. What difference? I remember when Betty told me about it back in Gainesville back in 1970. Those were the days my friend. We thought they'd never end. But the ending came so suddenly. If only I hadn't lived up to the name perma stoned I could have at least tried. But I was not in the mood to study. I didn't want to go to school. So, it was all yanked out!
07/02 Direct Link
I'm so psyched right now. I checked my library account online before I left work and discovered that I had a book on reserve that was going to expire today. So I ran down there and checked out two books. I had another one that expired but I expect it to become available in the next few days. The book that I'm most excited about is the newest David Sedaris book, Calypso. It's sort of autobiographical. But I guess all his books are! Oh well, I have read about 20 pages so far. I have to get down to it.
07/03 Direct Link
It's the day before the big day. Whoop de fucking do! It's another day. Do do do do. It's just another day. Suddenly, I want to go to the Goodwill store. I should fill up the car with donations and go there. That's the ticket. Anyway, I go to work today and it's the last day without bossy lady. It's been a good week thus far because it's only me and the other lady. The security guard is also on vacation. I am too tied up with that job and I need to disconnect, but what's a Mother to do?
07/04 Direct Link
I celebrated my independence! I stayed home the entire day. I didn't leave the house. Why should I? There was no mail today. That's usually the only reason I leave the house is to check the mail. I sound like a real shut in. I'm not a true certified shut in but I certainly play one on TV. I wish I weren't so shaded but that's the way I am and I guess I wish I weren't so ambivalent about the way I am. I have less and less friends. They're not easy to come by, especially in your 60s!
07/05 Direct Link
Oh lard have merry. I'm such a Debbie Downer sometimes. I come here to write and all I can think about or write about are bad things. I have much to be thankful for but instead I focus on the bad. I have my part time friend, Linda. I could count Melinda as my friend, but she is really Raoul's friend and sometimes I wonder what kind of friend she really is. Bill showed me his penis yesterday. He was lying around the house naked and he had a moment. He had been beating off before the call came in.
07/06 Direct Link
Are you coming inside? It's really hot out there and I don't think you should be exposing yourself to that heat. It's not that bad after awhile if you just sit still but the bugs can be a total distraction. The little flies that we like to call wasaso are insanity cheese and don't get me started on the mosquitoes. You have to punch yourself to deal with that craziness. I'm going to get busy doing nothing. That's what Fridays are for. Well, that's pretty much what I do every single day of the week. I'm a lazy piece. Yeah.
07/07 Direct Link
Since I went to Costco yesterday, I don't have to go today. But I did go to Publix, where shopping is a pleasure. I only bought like $80 worth of food stuffs. It's amazing how little you can get for $80. You think I'm just getting a few things and boom you have spent $100. That's life in the big city. Easy come, easy go. I have all this money wrapped up in this house. We have to get rid of it immediately. It's our nest egg. We don't have to reinvest it for it to be a tax deduction!
07/08 Direct Link
There was a report on the news about kids being burned at their daycare center. People can be so mean. Children are totally vulnerable, so why would people prey on them? That's inconceivable. I'm going to Israel in, like less than two weeks. I'm psyching out. I have to start getting ready. What is there for me to do? I have so many other things that need to be done. My life is a series of untied ends. I must tie them all up. Will they ever be tied? No whey. That's what the next generation has to deal with!
07/09 Direct Link
Here's the deal. It's Monday so I'm gonna make the best of the week. That's it. I made that decision right now. It's all going to be okay. I know that for a fact. Soon, I will get up and start doing. There are many things to do and I intend to do them. Monday morning, I woke up fine. Friday I got traveling on my mind. That's right, I'm leaving next week. It's getting super close. Are you angry? Well, put on a cape and now you're super angry! That's a good one, eh? Have a great day, dude.
07/10 Direct Link
My heart is in Havana. I'm excited to report the best news. They decided to raise my pay from $13.39 an hour to $15. I only asked for $14 but they went over and above. That was nice. And the boys were rescued from the cave in Thailand. I want to go there. It looks so lush! I am going to Israel in less than 10 days. That idea makes me completely mental. I have to make sure to walk a lot so that the blood doesn't pool in my legs. I also have to drink lots of water!
07/11 Direct Link
You know, I love Dwayne Johnson, but not as president. What the hell is going on with this country? We would actually consider someone like The Rock as our president. He said that he wouldn't run in 2020 but that doesn't rule out 2024. I don't normally write about politics, but President Trump is meeting with NATO and rocking the boat. Too bad he's such an idiot. I love that when they are hosting him in England, they will have a large balloon of Baby Trump. Too bad he won't get to see it. That's all there is to report.
07/12 Direct Link
OMG, I'm so excited because one week from today I'm leaving for Israel. I can't stand the excitement. It will be over before I know it. The month of July 2018 will go down in history for Michael. That's all there is to it. I just have to get ready and start packing. I hope that it will be okay. It's all going to be so foreign. I remember when I went to Iceland, everything was in English. I have already heard that nothing is in English in these countries. I hope that I can deal. I will be okay!
07/13 Direct Link
TGIF, that's a reality. I used today to visit my darling friend Ricki. We ate at First Watch and paid for each other. She was sure that I was going to ask her to pay since I paid last time, but I had no problem with her paying for her own self. I went back to her apartment and played on her computer for a little while and as soon as I left, she was having problems again. Things just don't change. Things stay the same. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Ain't that the truth?
07/14 Direct Link
Yesterday was Friday the 13th and I experienced no bad luck. I didn't even think about it one minute. I just realized today that yesterday was supposedly an unlucky day. That's just cray. I don't put any credence into those silly superstitions. Have I ever walked under a ladder? Of course. Have black cats crossed my path? Countless times. That's the way of the crumbled cookie. I just plugged my phone into the wall because the percentage was so low that it was about to go dead. Isn't that a hoot in a holler? I wonder as I wander. Yeah!
07/15 Direct Link
Sunday is a good day to do nothing. That's why I was so surprised when HRS sprung on me that he was expecting four visitors at the same time. The worst part? I would have to entertain two of them while he was working on the other two. He had two ladies who wanted hairdos and two guys were visiting. One was a guy he hadn't seen in like 30 years. Ain't that sweet? Except that I had to entertain those guys. I ended up showing them around the houses and they left soon after. I went upstairs to rest!
07/16 Direct Link
There was once upon a time a man who worked well into retirement. That's me! I have to go back to work today. I only have to be there from 12-5 so it's not so bad. I am leaving for Israel in a few days. I can't think about anything else! It's so exciting for me to think that I'm flying around the world. It's a total trip! The best part is that I have a free place to stay. That alone is saving me thousands of dollars. I was going for a Bar Mitzvah but it was canceled.
07/17 Direct Link
OMG, I am completely mental that I'm going to Israel in a couple of days. It just doesn't seem real. I know that once I make it past the flight stage, it will be a lot of fun. I think I'm awfulizing about the airline trip. It seems like a long time but I have to remember that there are a lot of time changes. I'll be okay. There is going to be a lot of good times. I am totally ready! I am so psyched. I have already started to pack. I get to bring two suitcases. That's great!
07/18 Direct Link
It's the middle of the night. Well, is 0418 the middle of the night? I don't think so. It's just that I'm awake a little too early. I just have to go back to sleep. Writing is not making me any sleepier. I just have to stop writing when I hit the 100 word mark. That's the ticket. I will be there before you know it. That's the way of the crumbled cookie. Suddenly, I'm feeling very very sleepy! I have to go back to sleep and get on with my life. Enough of this writing on the computer. Right?
07/19 Direct Link
I left on an airplane. I had to be at the airport at 0600 for a 1000 flight. It was okay. I didn't sleep a wink last night anxious over the departure. Then to make things just much more worser then I didn't sleep a wink on the airplane. Oh well, that's the way of the crumbled cookie. I didn't go to the airport just for fun, I was outta here. I'm glad that I took this trip. It was virtually free. I like that. I don't feel like a mooch at all. But they act like I'm not there.
07/20 Direct Link
It was Pamela's birthday yesterday, the mother of the Son. Happy birthday you fucking witch. That's enough of that recognition. She can rot in hell. I'm in a mood. I was in Tel Aviv today just one block from the ocean. I went to Aroma and had a coffee. It was super strong and I had it with hot almond milk. That was awesome! Later, we spent the afternoon on the beach. I didn't move for hours except to go to the W.C. I loved that. They were avoiding me. Who is that dirty old American? I loved it!
07/21 Direct Link
I went on a bus tour with the Mirmellis today. That was an awesome trip. We first had a buffet at the hotel, The Setai. It was more lunch like than breakfast like. They did have breakfast things like eggs and meat, but I am eschewing those things. So what did I have? Hummus and chick peas. I think I also ate some fruit. We were off soon thereafter on bus ride to the northern part of the country. It was not a long ride but when we got there it was spooky. We were on the border. Scary stuff!
07/22 Direct Link
We went back to the beach today after a quick stop at Aroma. I love that place. I also loved La Mer where we ate drank and smoked on the sand under umbrellas. I didn't move the entire day, what a fucking slug. Oh well, the Mirmellis had to run so we were left all alone for awhile and we left early. I can't even remember what we did for the rest of the day. Maybe we went to the market. I got an emailed photo of a policeman with an uzi that Sharon took for me. I asked him.
07/23 Direct Link
Monday is just another day, eh? Today was no different. I spent the majority of the day just doing nothing. It was wonderful. I could be seeing so much more of the city but I'm just relaxing. That's the ticket. I went for coffee this morning on my own. That was fun. I had an Americano with hot almond milk and a bowl of moozly. It was mostly sour yogurt. So much for avoiding milk products. It was inevitable. I choked it down and it wasn't bad. I came back to the apartment and smoked before going out again. Onward!
07/24 Direct Link
What did I do today? A lot of nothing. Actually today was a big day because we drove back to Jerusalem. I think so. I have already found out that I don't remember much. That's why I'm supposed to write it down when it happens. I don't know what I did except float through life. That's the ticket. I can do this. This is the life. The way of the world. That's why it's good to write down the events of the day at the end of each day and that way you can write a decent travelogue. Ya know?
07/25 Direct Link
What the hell did I do today? I think that today I took a drive to the northern part of the country but I think I also did that on Shabbat because places were closed. That's the ticket. Today we went back to Aroma and then on to La Mer. As her sister said to me, you can't spend the entire time here just going to eat and not seeing anything. That's pretty much what I did! It was fun. I didn't need to go see the places that scare me. But I think there is something about being there.
07/26 Direct Link
Another day in Jerusalem and I haven't a clue what I did. I sat around and or walked around and it was hotter than the hinges of hell. That's why I did very little. Of course, if your hosts are not in the mood, there's little chance that anything will happen. And when your hosts are mostly interested in booty calls, well, enough said. There was no need to even try. If I wanted to do touristy things, I needed to rely on my own self. There were three teenagers to deal with at the same time. I must go.
07/27 Direct Link
Shabbat Shalom, dude. Today is a half day in Jerusalem. The week ends officially today. It's a great day to run around. Tonight, we're going to Shabbat dinner at the David Citadel. Thank goodness Jesse was willing to walk home with us because there is no way we could have done it alone. It gave me the confidence to venture on my own. That's a good thing. It's too bad I didn't get that confidence earlier. I just sat around and did nothing while I was in the mother land. That's typical nasty weather. Tickle your ass with a feather?
07/28 Direct Link
I made up my mind that I would walk today to the Kotel. Too bad I got lost on the way back and ended up walking until I was delirious. I ended up sleeping for the rest of the day. That's okay, my hostess was busy having a booty call. I was slammed and toasty. I had done all that walking with only a banana and a couple of liters of water. I was insanity cheese. Plus, I knew that I was walking the wrong way and I just kept on going. What a tool. I needed to turn around.
07/29 Direct Link
Sunday at the market. That's the way to do it. Just go to the market like a tourist and buy tourist shit. That's the ticket. We even ate at the kosher McDonald's. That was awesome. I had corn sticks. They were amazing. I was sure they would have a vegetable burger but there was not. They had fried corn sticks that were delicious. I also had a frozen drink that was supposed to be minty lemonade but the mint flavor just wasn't there. It was lemony, though. And then we went back home where I passed out after I packed.
07/30 Direct Link
Did I leave today? I can't remember. It just seemed like I was flying like forever. First there was the flight to Istanbul, which was a quickie, like two hours and a few minutes. That they make you get off the plane down some stairs and into the terminal was so odd. Then they did some mumbo jumbo passport shite. That was so random and cursory. There was a lot of that to come. It was as I always thought. Trick the tourist. Security is an illusion. It's all about mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter.
07/31 Direct Link
What's really weird about flying during the day is that they require everyone to put down the shades and make it look like night. It's not a good idea. There is a time to sleep and a time to get some sleep. Well, you know what I mean. I couldn't sleep if it were required by law. It's not a good thing. There's a lot to be said about the treatment they give you. That's nice. But there needs to be a reason to sleep. I'm too old to fly economy. I have to fly business class in the future.