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Rabbit, rabbit, baby. This is the month for Christmas babies. I think I read somewhere that there are more Virgo people than anything else because so many babies are born in September from being conceived back at the holidays. Ain't that sweet? So, I'm thinking about the August and September babies because my birthday was yesterday. Mom couldn't wait for September 1. It had to be the last day of August – the hottest day of the year. That's what I say. If I had been born a day earlier or a day later, it just wouldn't have been the same!
It's hump day before I can write about hump day. Although I am an anomaly, only working Monday through Thursday. Does that mean that I don't get a hump day? That's the pits! Whatever, I'm going to be a new person in the new place. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm going to try to do whatever they ask me to do. I like being part of a team. I'm meant to be on a team. Go team go. I'm ready to do this. I start working next Tuesday. I wonder how long it will last.
We are the telecommunications pioneers! I just realized that television channels as we know them will soon disappear. They may already have! There are now millions of channels of youtube, right? Everyone is scrambling to get an app so that you can watch their programming on demand. Everything is all about demand. So that means that the future is to find a way to aggregate all the content so it's completely personalized. What a brave new world odor. It stinks. But it's coming. There's going to be personalized everything. Why not? It's all about me. Why do I write here?
TGIF baby. It's just another day. Do you know what I mean? And what is a day? It's the part where the sun shines. Well, the sun shines all day and all night, but we can't see it at night. That's a concept, eh? Imagine asking people why it's dark at night and the answers you would get. It's a mad world. There's a new day dawning. What about the relentless march of time? It marches. Time passes. Fruit flies. Here we go again. I don't know where this is going. I'm typing as fast as I can. Uh oh.
It's hard for me to believe that it's September. And then I realize that the year is 2015. Whoa, Nelly, this here time traveling is making me a little ill. You making me ill. I'm illin'. Three periods coming up . . . and then you go on. Looking at apartments high up in buildings makes me Montell Williams. What is the point of stacking up all those living spaces on top of each other. It's like rats piling on. It's not a good thing. But I always thought I would love to try it! This week: looking at high rise apartments, yeah!
Soon it will be Christmas day! We aren't even finished with hurricane season and I'm already thinking about Xmas. I want to put a tree this year. Is it perverse that I'm going to work for the Jews and I want to be more goyish than ever. Oy, what's with that. Are you trying to make me meshuggah? It's coming up on Rosh Hashanah. It's that time of year when we beat ourselves and wonder why we are so mean and hurtful. Did we say "I'm sorry" to those we offended. Here comes the opening of the Book of Life.
I have to keep up. Come on now, keep up with the group. We can't have you lagging behind. If you insist on falling back, we're just going to go ahead without you. Now, look over here. Please be careful. Watch your step. Soon we'll be done. There's more at the door. Hey, what you doing over there? Stop that! We'll have none of that. Come up front and show us all! That's the ticket. It's going to be a beauty day. Come on a my house I'm going to give you candy. We could have a beautiful time, ducky.
Fare well to all that labor. Now get back to work. Actually, it's a really big get back to work day, because I'm starting a part time job. I don't know what got into me, but I accepted it and now I'm going to stick with it for at least a year and maybe two. When I hit the 65 mark I think I'm going to retire for real. I already tried retirement and that's why I think I'm going back to work part time. Some folks can handle it, but I'm not one of 'em. It's shall be fun.
It's now 2123. And I just found out that K-Mart is open until 2200. Unfortunately, the new Aldi that just opened in the parking lot of K-Mart is only open until 2100. So, my plan is to go tomorrow night. Do I know how to live or what? I figure if I go to Aldi late, like 2000 then I can spend an hour there and then go over to K-Mart and get a good hour there. I'm wild and crazy! It's going to be a night night night weird. I'm just off that charts here. Cray!
I want to thank my Internet "friend" MJ who brought me here some years ago. It's ironic that I began to write when she stopped writing. I guess this site is one of those places that fulfills a need until it stops fulfilling that need. I have the need to write. I want to put things on paper, but since this is all electronic, I love watching the words form on the screen. This is a fun exercise. I like coming here each day to write 100 words. It's kind of freaky that it's not editable. These are the breaks!
This is the day of infamy for a new generation. It's unbelievable that the Twin Towers were brought down. It's a real tragedy. Justin and I went to see the memorial when we were in NYC last October. It's somber to see those two gigantic holes that are now waterfalls. It gave me pause. I couldn't bring myself to take a selfie. That seems to be de riguer. It was a memorial site where thousands are entombed. We didn't go down into the museum mainly because we're too cheap to pay the gouge fee. It cost $24. No way, baby.
I don't know what I did today. That's not a good thing. I have a severe loss of short term memory. That's a result of all the smoking I've been doing. It's okay. I'll be all right. I've made it this far. I know what I'm doing here. I'm going to write a bunch of Jack Handy affirmations. I'm good enough. People like me. And gosh darn it to heck, the rest of the saying. I don't know. I just have the feeling. It's Saturday and it's a day of rest. Shabbat Shalom, baby. Have a very peaceful day, darling.
It's Rosh Hashanah. The new year of the Jewish calendar. Shana L'Tova. Rosh Ha'Shanah. It's the head of the year. Where's the fish head? You want I should get a whole goat's head and we can boil that thing and eat it? We gonna eat lots of sweet fruit, like dates, figs and prunes. We're gonna eat new things, like guanabana and cactus fruit. There's the whole pomegranate thing and what would a major holiday be without the chopped liver on challah? It's a festive time. Bless you, baby. You are going to have a sweet and lovely year ahead.
I'm almost ready to do the Yom Kippur thing, yeah! I don't care to eat anything after that large insane meal last night! Fake crab salad, chopped liver, gefilte fish and all the crazy fruits. It was a banquet my dear. Danee outdid herself. It's far from the old days of a serious sit down kosher dinner but it had the spirit. The kids were in and out. They're getting so big! I was beside myself over the state of my car. The fact that it won't start is a large problem for me. I have to work it out.
Beware the Ides of September. Will I ever get over that meme no matter how not funny it is? I doubt it. It's something about getting older, but now growing up. That's me. The eternal child. Wanna do something about it, punk? Just kidding. I'm in a mood. What's it worth to you? That's just a joke. Ja. Ja. Ja. Is this a run on paragraph, or what? The answer is what. That was just stupid. This whole rant is pointless. That the idea of having an idea in the middle of September. And what of hurricane season. Over yet?
Thinking about the good old days last week. What about the real good old days? It's too far away. I want to go forward, not backward. It's hard to do when there's more backward in your life, not forward. That's the way of the world. Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened. How did we get here? Where did the time go? It's all so fleeting. Hold on tight. It really does go by so quickly. And then we're gone. You're reading this and I haven't been here in decades. Go figure. Go know.
Time is on my side. No, it isn't. I wonder a lot how much longer I have to go. I hope there are 20 or 30 years left, but it could be 20 or 30 minutes. That's the weird part about growing up. You finally realize that you have an expiration date and it's inevitable. There goes another one. We get each day as a new present. And what do we do with the new day? The same thing that we did the day before is usual. N'est-ce pas? Oh my! That's the way of the world. Go know.
Shabbat Shalom, sweetie. Shomer Shabbos, you say? No way. Where you frum? Just donate through PayPal. Is there a way to see through? What the hell? I just typed that unconsciously. I'm in a mood. I shouldn't write words at 0420. That's the worst idea ever! What was I thinking? Obviously, I wasn't thinking. Today is Friday and I'm thinking it's Saturday. That's what's wrong. I'm in the mood to go to Maoz. I went to Whole Foods and stuffed myself silly. I hate that place. Why am I so hateful? What's wrong with being hateful? What the world needs.
I've been very bad. But what else is new? I'm a bad boy. These are the breaks. It's been a long time coming. It's going to be a long time gone. I was telling HRS that Lauren cut my hair to the tune of "Almost Cut My Hair." Those were the days. Scott and I went to an old time breakfast place and really put on the feedbag. Then we went to Costco and dropped some serious dough. I'm in a mood but what else is new? I already asked that, didn't I? Well, it's a wrap. That's it dude.
Would I lie to you? Now, would I say something that wasn't true? The tears of a clown are coming around. I have a major gas bubble. That's not good. Why, you might be wondering? It's because of gluten. That's a fact, Jack. I don't like to talk about it, but I have a gluten sensitivity. That guy who wrote that book was on to something. There's a reason why gluten free has become so popular. People don't want genetically modified food. But we've been eating it for decades. That's the way it is. The way I like it, dude.
What's this all about? What are you on about? It's time to get real. Things just got really real around here. There's more at the door. There's more at the door. There's more. I can do this. Money talks. And you know what walks. That's a good one. There's another story that we need to discuss. I remember that one. This is a good one. Are you ready? Well, sit right back and I'll lay it on you. I hope you are ready to take this. It's a big load. There's more at the door. There's more. Good one, dude.
I'm in full awfulizing mode. Instead of dealing with something that will turn out to be merely a recurring chore, I'm letting it sit and I seethe. I should take a drive. I want a smoke. It's insidious, that desire to smoke. It's just under the skin. I want it. I need it. I gotta have it. I told Mom long long ago that if you never start then you will never know what you're missing. It's that curiosity that killed the person. Cancer cures smoking, most times. Sometimes, it's just a road bump. Beware the road hump ahead. Dude.
She said it was true. I believed her. I had no reason not to believe everything that came out of her mouth, until the day she lied to me. Then I could never believe her again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. That ain't happenin' again. It's time to move on. Don't hold on to things from the past. They can do no good. It's time to move ahead. Spring forward. Fall back. Well, that means that soon we will be moving the clocks back. That's just plain cray, but we doin' it anyway.
Every once in a while, it hits me. I'm writing and there's no way to delete these words. That's heavy! I'm writing anyway because I have this crazy obsession. It's just about typing until there are 100 words in the blue box and then I can move on. I have a number of other days to complete and then it's time to live life. And what a life that is. That's the way, uh huh, I like it. That's no way to treat a lady. Why do I have an urge for Kentucky Fried Colonel. I need to go vegan.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream. Am I dreaming right now? I'm tapping on letters on the keyboard. Those letters create words and those words become 100. I'm not dreaming. I'm endeavoring to get these words done so I can move on to other things.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream. Am I dreaming right now? I'm tapping on letters on the keyboard. Those letters create words and those words become 100. I'm not dreaming. I'm endeavoring to get these words done so I can move to other things.
What fresh hell is this?
Happy birthday Strawberry. Where did that nickname come from? It's cute but I wonder about the origin. I'm not going there. I do like to eat strawberries. Those little seeds on the outside are kind of cute. And what goes better with a bowl of strawberries than a nice dollop of whipped cream. Unless, of course, you're trying to go dairy free, in which case, a dollop of cashew cream will do! There's always a substitute. I was shocked to find that the vegan equivalent of egg whites is the water that beans are packed in. Go figure, dude. Really!
There are cracks in the sidewalk that haven't been repaired for the 30 years we've lived here. The city did construction on the street for two years. Cracks developed in the walls that haven't been repaired. This house is nearing the 100 year mark. It must be time to demolish it. I suppose the new owners might want to do that to maximize their square footage. We do have a rather large back yard and people are slightly surprised to see it. Imagine that yard filled with a very large house. It could happen. That's the way I like it.
Monday is good to me if I'm good to it. What the hell does that mean? I don't know. They are just words. There are going to be 100 words here when I'm done. No more, no less. I'm going to enter my text into this here box and it's going to be exactly 100 words. No more. No less. Line breaks can be make with codes and italics and bold as well. Nobody mentioned that the codes you insert will count as words so you have to insert them after the tapping is done and the counter reaches 100.
I was watching the news, or as my BIL calls it, the real murder TV, and they were talking about the Russians attacking Syria and I thought, I hope they don't drop a bomb on your street. But I couldn't help but wonder what it's like to really be paranoid and let the news get you mental. It could happen. It made me just a little weird. The way things are blown up is kind of scary. It's all too beautiful. There's got to be a better way. There's got to be a morning after. See you tomorrow for coffee.
Nine months of this year are done. We've been through three quarters of the year. How did that happen? Where did the time go? Time flies whether you're having fun or not. I've had the time of my life. I owe it all to you. Lard have merry. I need a burger. Would you like some fries with that? It's pizza time, pizza face. Would you like a side order or something to drink? How about a nice red wine? What's the best time to see you? Is that true? How about another one? What do you want to do?
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