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Happy May Day, you commie bastard. I'm going to work tomorrow and I don't want to. What am I to do about that ? I guess I'm just going to go through the motions. It's just another day. It's a TGIF kind of day. I look like I'm having fun. I have to get it together or move on. I'm thinking about telling them that I got another job offer even though it's not true, but it's a way out. I realized that I don't want to work for $10 an hour. It's just too hurtful to devalue myself that way.
Which batch are you working on? Or should it read the other way? On which batch are you working? Well, that one's easy. The correct way, the second version, sounds completely wrong. That's why the first instance is the correct one. In daily usage, it's correct. Who speaks the correct way? English majors come to mind! Anyway, it's time to get busy. I have a routine to perfect. Life is a routine. Love it. Leave it. Or lose it. There's a reason for the season. It's time to love the one you're with. Supernumerary is a large word. It's time.
Happy birthday, Regina Ann Ehling. Sunday was the 40th anniversary of her death. She would have been 62 years old. It's hard to believe that she died only days before her 21st birthday. It was 40 years ago today that I celebrated her birthday all alone, crying into my pillow. I try to remember details of that time and all I have are shreds. I remember bits and pieces and they're all discombobulated and non-linear. It's okay, because I guess that after a long passage of time, anything can become its own myth. The legend of Regina lives on.
Sunday lying around the house. I would have done it all day if it hadn't been for Linda's insistence. She came over around 1600 and we went to Publix to buy stuff for a quick celebration. It was an excuse to eat tacos and drink tequila. I didn't mind, but I was in a haze and glad to have her (and Lady D) to leave after a very short sort of party. We made margaritas and poor little Isora got way too drunk too fast. That's what she gets for binge drinking! Let's hear it for May Fifth. Yeah, baby.
While strolling through the park one day in the merry month of May, I was taken by surprise by a pair of roving eyes. What the what? I don't even know what made me think of that. But thank goodness it's Monday. I love Monday. It's just another day. I went to "work." But what did I get done? Not much. It's just another day. I have a lot to say but nothing to write. It's okay that there's just a few more words to go and then I'm done with today's 100 words. That's all there is. No more.
I ended up at Starbucks this morning on Ocean Drive. I haven't been there in a very long time. I drank two cups of coffee and watched the tourists get their coffee and come and go. And I just sat there and played with my phone. It was a great way to pass the time. I think I was there for a good hour. And then I came home and we drank margaritas. Still celebrating cinco de mayo. What's all this fuss about five jars of mayonnaise? I don't get it. Nice try. I'm done. Stick a fork in it.
It's the middle of the night. Well, it's actually fairly early. It's 1 o'clock and Craig Ferguson is droning on with that gay skeleton. It's too weird. I just want this day to begin. I first have to go to sleep for a few hours and then I'll get up and walk to the garden. I need to water things. It's been dry for a couple of days. I hope that everything is doing okay. I'm also going to harvest something for tonight's dinner. That's the ticket! I'm going to get some herbs and be inspired. Chicken with herbs. Yum.
FATHER DEAR. BE, YOUR FATHER - GOOD AND GOOD, HE IS GOOD NOW, IT IS NOT GOOD TO SEE IT RAIN, FATHER DEAR IS, IT, DEAR, NO FATHER DEAR, LOVE, YOU DEAR, ESTLIN I have a thing for e.e. cummings. This was supposedly a letter he wrote to his father. If I had written such a thing to Dad, I would have been forced to see a shrink. This is some serious stuff. I am not a serious person but I seriously like this. I miss Dear Old Dad. I should write a letter to tell him how I feel.
Time flies whether you're having fun or not. It's already the merry, merry month of May and the year 2014. How did that happen? Time flies whether you're having fun or not. It's already the merry, merry month of May and the year 2014. How did that happen? Time flies whether you're having fun or not. It's already the merry, merry month of May and the year 2014. How did that happen? Time flies whether you're having fun or not. It's already the merry, merry month of May and the year 2014. How did that happen? It's a beauty day.
My Saturday routine has become dull, boring and predictable. I need to make time for other things on Saturday so that they don't seem so deadeningly boring. I got up, got ready, went out and stayed with Helen for two hours. And then I went to Costco for gas and groceries for another hour and a half. And when I got home, there wasn't even time to relax because why. I forgot. And it's only Monday. What the hell? I have to stop and think what the hell happened. Ana and Raquel were here. We drank margaritas and passed out.
Raoul threatened to invite Bob and Mandy and Ruth over and he did. Linda also came but she was late to the party. It was rather subdued. I made chicken salad from one of the whole cooked chickens I bought at Costco yesterday. Even though they're pumped full of thickeners and artificially enlarged, they are so freaking delicious. I also made the crunchy salad with napa cabbage and stir fried ramen noodles, almonds, and sesame seeds. That stuff is like crack. Oh yeah, it has a bunch of sugar to go with the vinegar and scallions. Finished with soy sauce.
I'm totally awfulizing every little aspect of the work I'm doing. I'm not qualified and I'm way over my head but seeing as how I'm paid so little, I'm going to go very very slow. It will happen eventually. There's a place for us. A time and place for us. You want fries with that. I went to that place last week. I'll see you there. And that's a fact. There has to be a better way. The ground is wet. Please wipe your feet. There's more at the door. Remember the sweater. This thing is supposed to be fun.
It was a busy day. I went to the dentist early, worked for four hours, came home and went to Outback with Raoul Isora and Linda. Now it's over and I'm ready for the next one. That's not 100 words but that's all I have for today. I'm awfulizing over my job and I wish I wasn't. It's all going to work out, but I sure am in a lather over it. Meanwhile, the beat goes on and the pace quickens. Here comes the rain again. It's muggy. It's already upper 80s and it's not even summer. Go know it.
It's hump day. I made an appointment at work for 1 p.m. and I leave the office at 1. What was I thinking? Clearly I wasn't thinking! Oh well, I'll stay a little late and maybe even go in a little late. This morning I was thinking hard about going for a walk but I didn't. I need to get off my ass and get back into that habit. It's hard to believe that we're leaving for New Orleans next week. I have absolutely no itinerary planned. I guess that's a good thing but it couldn't hurt to look.
Beware the Ides of May. Ha. Ha. Aren't I funny? You see what I did there? That's so funny. Oh my, I'm a real laugh riot. Once again. I've done it again. It's that time again. It's time to get out the laugh riot gear. How much hit shitty can you take? I can take a lot of it. The shit done hit the fan. It's hit shitty! It's going to be okay. Just shove some more mashed potatoes into your gullet. I'll see you in two weeks. What's a mother to do? It's all just going to be okay.
I did an awful lot of awfulizing this week. It's a shonda to the neighbors. She's just a mocky! That's all there is to it. What you said. That's right. There was something said some decades ago and it still resonates. That's my Mommy speaking. I speak through her. I speak for her. I am her voice. She is gone. Her voice is silent. So I speak now and you hear her voice. Is that possible? That's just a little creepy. But them's the breaks. That's the way it is. That's the way it's gonna be. That's it, my friend.
I went to see Helly today. It's the Saturday routine. I wonder how much longer it can go on. It's going to be okay. That's what I have to keep telling myself. I go there week after week after week. Year after year I've gone. What's the point, Edith? I go because I feel that I have to. I don't have to, but I do have to. What's that going to get me in the end? Nothing. I don't expect anything. It's the way it's going to be. I've accepted it. I wonder what the next two weeks will be.
Trying out the iPad. Not really crazy about it and now I remember using it last year when we were in Savannah. Typing 100words is one thing on a real keyboard but this virtual keyboard is for shite. I'm much more aware of the number of words I've written. I do like the auto correct thing. What else? I'm purposefully misspelling some words because I know it will be fixed. I don't ever have to capitalize, especially after a period. I just remembered two spaces after a word inserts a comma. Go know. Merrily, life is but a dream, darling.
There is a certain mentality going that suffers after having two days free and then having a morning when you have to get up and get ready for work. You have to drag your half dead carcass into the office and try to be as human as possible. By the time lunch rolls around you're feeling surprisingly fine. Then there's the rest of the day. Right now I'm only working four hours in the morning. I don't know how much longer that can endure but I'm quite certain that I don't ever want to work full time again. Truth out.
Meetings are only as good as the person who organized the thing. I've been to meetings where I left feeling more insecure and unknowing than before I arrived. I've been in meetings where I left re-energized and full of confidence. I've been to meetings where we simply sat and listened to a big fat blowhard. Of both sexes. Most meetings are useful for about 10-15 minutes. The rest of the time is pure bullshit. People love to bullshit. I hate bullshit in the workplace. This entry became shitty shit real quick. I done went potty mouth. Eff you.
Happy hump day. For me today is TGIF, sorta kinda. I don't have to work tomorrow or Friday because we're leaving for New Orleans tomorrow afternoon. It's finally here. I made the airline reservations at least six months ago! I'm totally psyched. I started to gather my clothes last night and I'll finish that today. Or try to. I also have to go through all the papers that have been accumulating for the past month and get rid of them so we can come home to a (sort of) clean house. Lady D will be our caretaker for five days.
Today's the day! After waiting about six months, it's finally here. We're going to New Orleans. I've been there about half a dozen times but Mr. R has never been before. I think he's doing a very good job of containing his excitement. We both declared to each other yesterday just how nervous we are. He's crazed to leave his kitties for a few days. I'm just worried that he's going to be an uncool reality in the Big Easy. But I should just take it easy and let it go. It's all going to be great. I can't wait!
Today is our first full day. We arrived late yesterday and checked into our French Quarter hotel. The Hyatt is amazing! It takes up the entire block. It's old buildings repurposed because there were plenty of places where the floors were squeaky. It was cool the way they had two courtyards - one with a pool and the other without. It seemed like a long hike to the room because there is only one set of elevators for the public. I know there were plenty of elevators behind the scenes. One was next to our room and they were rather noisy.
We went to a party out on Magazine Street. That's the groovy neighborhood that's close to the university. I really liked the feeling. It was young and vibrant. A real city feature, it was accessible and the people were so gosh darn friendly. What the hell was that all about? I loved the vibe. I think we were just lucky because we only came across one cross person who was having a bad day. It was a hectic weekend for the service workers because there were so many people in town for the three day weekend. It was cray cray.
I'm glad that we had the two extra days before the actual reason we came to NOLA - the wedding. I only wish after the fact that we had put those two extra days after the event. It would have been better because we wouldn't have been there with the mighty crowds. It was amazing how many people used that location as a three-day weekend destination. Even the taxi driver asked us as he was taking us to the airport why we went to that city instead of any other. And we said we had only come for the wedding.
Memorial Day is for the dead. We should have gone to the cemetery. We didn't tour any cemeteries. I think that His Royal Smallness thinks that's kind of weird, but I really love those places. We went to cemeteries in Key West and Savannah, so he wasn't up for touring the cemeteries in NOLA. That was okay with me because I had been there a few times before. It's a very tourist thing to do there because they're all above ground. I wonder what happened to those graves when Hurricane Katrina hit. I have to go look that up now.
Back to the grind. There has to be a better way. This is not working for me. I don't know why I keep doing it. Am I writing this because I'm completely mental? I told my BIL tonight that if they want to pay me $10 an hour I'll do one hour worth of work in four hours. That sounds about fair. I should be making $40 an hour. That's not excessive. If the CEO is making that much, then I should be too. I can bullshit with the best of them. I put in for hours I wasn't there.
I'm watching David Letterman and thinking that I should be asleep but I still have to write 750 words. It's okay. This 100 words thing is helping me get in the mood to just tap away and be mindless about the whole thing. That's the way to make it fill up and be done with it. I'm going to watch TV while I type away. I'm also smoking so that's slowing me down. I could be much much faster if I didn't have so many distractions. I'm almost there and that was nothing. Here I come to attack 750 words.
I didn't go to work today because I thought my sister was coming to town, but she pulled a fast one. Meanwhile, she's going to come tomorrow and I'm going to put together a mean lunch to welcome her. And then we're going to shabbat dinner at her family's house to celebrate a bat mitzvah. The party is Sunday evening. Then my sister will go back home on Monday morning and Scott will go to work for the first time. He's driving all the way up to Fort Lauderdale but he doesn't think that will be too much to drive.
I was thinking that today is the last day of the month but there's always tomorrow. There are 31 days in the merry merry month of May. I hear an alarm going off in the middle of the night. Isn't that cray? I know it's cray and I just let it go. I have to let it go. I never even saw that movie and I'm hearing so much about it. I wonder what happened to me. I used to love going to the movies. I think it's saving money. I'm using that money on different things. That's the way.
Five months have already passed. Time flies whether you're having fun or not. Today I went with Candy and Scott to see Helen. Helen was sweet for most of the visit but she turned midpoint. I think it was because Candy was there. She had a moment of lucidity and just wanted it over. I don't blame her. It's already gotten to be too much and it's already been years. I've been doing this far too long. Afterward, we went to Costco to fill up the car and to do some grocery shopping. As usual, I came home and napped.
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