02/01 Direct Link
I was going to do my usual routine and ignore the noise the car was making but it was so bad that I got almost all the way to North Miami and had to turn around and drive to Kendall. The car was a-squeakin' the entire way, even on the expressway. $300 later and I have a car that's rollin' down the highway. So, I went to Costco but skipped another week of seeing Helen. When I go this many weeks, she gets markedly worse. I think if I just quit seeing her, she may just expire. Oh well.
02/02 Direct Link
It was Groundhog Day and I let it go by without much notice. Maybe because it was also Super Bowl Sunday and we were getting ready for a little get together. I'm glad that we kept it low key. It was really fun. Raoul made deviled eggs that were deliciously delightful. I bought a shrimp cocktail at Costco that was divine. And then we ate about four dozen chicken wings followed by a Chinese dinner extravaganza. We never even watched the game. We drank blueberry margaritas and it was an early evening. The kind of party I love the most.
02/03 Direct Link
It's 1430 and I'm hating myself a little bit right now. I've done nothing all day. I even had an opportunity to go walking this morning and I blew it off. I'm such a slug. I need to motivate myself. As soon as I'm done here, I have to google, "How to motivate myself." I just have no get up and go. My get up and go got up and went. It's not easy being green. It will all work out okay in the end, and I'm just dying to find out how it ends. Who can say? It's true.
02/04 Direct Link
50 years ago, The Beatles. How life has changed! Who knew I would be sitting here one day tapping on my trusty laptop? These words go to the Internet and I wonder - how many more years? Are there 50 left? I don't know. Someone could invent a pill that lets you live an extra 100 years. That could happen! Anything could happen. The one thing that will happen, and of this I am totally sure. The one thing that will happen is that time will pass. Those 50 years flew by. One minute, a child. The next, an old man.
02/05 Direct Link
It's a cruel month, February. This is the month when the weather in South Florida can't decide whether it should be hot or cold. I swear we have relatively cold weather for a few days and then it's hot as hell. I wish for consistency. The one nice thing about this time of year is that even when it's hot as hell there is a nice cool breeze, so it's not totally bad. Today was a good day to go to Montaditos on the way to doing hair at the nursing home. I drove around for an hour. Yay me.
02/06 Direct Link
The days pass. Time goes ever so slowly, yet when I sit and look back, I am amazed how much sand has passed through the hourglass. Is it getting near the bottom? I'm sort of obsessed lately with my expiration date. I guess that's one of the side effects of getting old. How much longer do I have here? Is there enough money in the bank to last to the bitter end? And you know what? If there isn't, thank goodness for friends and family. And who can forget good old Uncle Sugar? I'm looking forward to that monthly check.
02/07 Direct Link
TGIF? Why? It's just another day. That's what Paul McCartney sang. I'm going to get this over with so that I can go outside and enjoy the beautiful day. I need to stop smoking so that I can enjoy more of these beautiful days. I smoke and think of Mom with her oxygen and it scares me. I have decided that if the day ever comes that the doctor says I need oxygen or some other heroic measure to extend my life, I'm taking the final exit. I know that Raoul has that book around here somewhere. Where is it?
02/08 Direct Link
Visiting Helen in the nursing home has become so routine that I just sit there and ram food into her mouth and then I leave. It's not emotional at all anymore. There's no one there to have a conversation with and I even went two weeks without going and it was no different than ever before. It makes me feel like I should only be going there once a month and that would make me feel very bad. I like having that Saturday routine. I don't know when going to Costco became part of it. I miss the Chipotle part!
02/09 Direct Link
It's amazing. People ask what my plans are for the weekend and I say I never make plans because I've decided that it's better to just go with the flow. Whatever Raoul wants to do is what I usually do. Unless he's not motivated, in which case we can loll about doing nothing. I've been putting off several projects and this coming week must be the week that I get some of those projects off the ground. It's easy to start something but difficult to finish. That's my major problem. I have very little follow through. I'm working on it.
02/10 Direct Link
Monday and I'm still not working. It's amazing that I've been out of work for almost two years and I'm no different now than I was back then. Actually, I think I'm more relaxed now. I was a bundle of nerves when I first lost my job but as time has passed, I realize now that it's all going to work out. Thank goodness our house is our bank. All these years of being house poor and now I think we have the opportunity to be house rich. There's a gold mine here. I don't know how big it is!
02/11 Direct Link
It's Tuesday and I'm sitting here at 0600 and wondering if I should just get out of bed when I'm done tapping out these words. And get my tired ass into something appropriate for walking and just get out and take a walk. Suddenly, I have a craving to hit the Cuban restaurant but that means having a big old serving of coffee with a side of gluten. I was really bad yesterday with the gluten and I have to recommit myself to not eat it. I have no allergy but it's helping me lose weight. I need to stick.
02/12 Direct Link
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again. That's a sad story, eh? But just writing that suddenly made me crave some scrambled eggs. Go figure. What else is there? Is that all there is? There must be a better way. Oh yeah, my weight loss continues at a decent rate. I've lost 45 lbs. since September. That's about right, even though "they" say you shouldn't lose more than two pounds a month. I need to lose 100 more by year's end.
02/13 Direct Link
It's that time of year when the temperatures drop for a few days. The rest of the country is featuring the worst winter in years. Yet, that means down here in South Florida we have a few cold days. It's nice to have cold weather in moderation. I couldn't deal with month after month of cold cold weather and snow.But I am loving this cool cool weather. Today was the first day that I really had to break out the winter clothes. Went to an art fair and then a fancy schmancy dinner. It was a good day, yeah!
02/14 Direct Link
It's Valentine's Day. Big deal. I bought my husby two plants of tulips. They look so sweet but they never bloom again down here unless they're put into the freezer for a couple of months. We just don't have a proper winter down here. That's okay. They'll look nice for Valentine's Day! I bought one white tulip and one red tulip. What a sweetheart I am. Tonight, we're having a party with a bunch of people coming over and I'm going to make some blueberry margaritas. I just thought of something. I should make strawberry margaritas in honor of today!
02/15 Direct Link
I went to see my darling Helen today and once again, I'm wondering why I go every week. I know it's easy to stop for a visit on my way to Costco for my weekly car fillup. But, I'm wondering how many more times I can go there and take her senile abuse. She was so lovely and sweet for the half hour before lunch but almost as soon as lunch arrived, her mood turned sour. She was practically spitting her food on me. I know it was because the other residents were crazed because it's a full moon. Oy.
02/16 Direct Link
Yesterday was not only Mark's birthday but I found out that Lady D wasn't here because she was having a party for her Mom. It was her birthday too. Mark would have been 65. I had a moment in the morning thinking about him and I got a little teary eyed. I know that he lived his last years in California and for almost a decade before that in the Philippines. But knowing that he was there was something of a comfort. Not having him or Mom or Dad makes me profoundly sad. Now, I'm wondering who's next. Not easy.
02/17 Direct Link
Another three-day weekend that means absolutely nothing to me. I loved the days when I got the day off for a holiday and actually got paid for doing nothing. It's amazing what you miss. Of course I liked getting paid for doing nothing. Of course, I made it through most of my "career" the same way. I did as little as I could get away with. What a horrible employee I was. It's no wonder I was thrown away. I wouldn't want me on the team either. Now, I've just given up on ever getting another job. That's life.
02/18 Direct Link
Scott says he's coming back to Miami today. I told him that we could go to the art fair in Bayfront Park when he gets here, but I have a meeting at 1730. He says that he's going to hang out on South Beach while I'm in the meeting and that he's going to go to the art fair with me. Linda was going to come over tonight for tacos but we've postponed that for tomorrow night. We'll have Scott here too. That should be an interesting combination. I'm glad that Scott is coming back here but it's very strange.
02/19 Direct Link
The days become similar when things go well. They come and then they go. What we do during those waking hours means little to nothing as the days they are so filled with the wonder of winter in these parts. Mild and warm or mild and cool. I walk in the mornings and I enjoy the time spent on foot. I'm trying to keep up 10,000 steps per day. It's not easy. It requires effort. But I'm glad to be walking. I've lost weight and I feel better. I'll be glad when Linda is gone and I stop smoking.
02/20 Direct Link
Having company over for dinner is always a treat so we're having another Friday night dinner party with chili. Raoul is making it so I have to go to the grocery store to buy the things for making. Instead, I go with Linda and Scott to look at apartments. It's not an easy task. It takes a lot of walking and looking. I'm amazed that we went to five different buildings and only one actually took us to see actual apartments. The people in the other buildings were acting too snotty to even consider. What's with all the attitude, eh?
02/21 Direct Link
What a fun filled day it was. Having people over for dinner is always a treat, especially when they're ready to throw down. There was none of that at tonight's soiree and everyone was on good behavior. It was mostly because there were no margaritas to get those tongues wagging. Plus, Scott and I cut out to visit Danee and have party number two. She was blending mixed drinks and we imbibed until midnight. I feel lucky to have been blessed with such amazing friends. And drinking until midnight is always a good time. Plus, a little bit of smoking.
02/22 Direct Link
I was proud of myself for not going inside the devil's warehouse today. I went to Costco to put gas in the car. It was funny that the sign said $3.39 a gallon but when I went to the pump, it said $3.37 a gallon. That was a two cent treat! I went to the nursing home and they were having a panic because the elevator wasn't working. I helped carry the trays to the second floor mainly because I wanted to get Helen fed and she was still in bed when I arrived. It all worked out.
02/23 Direct Link
Okay, it's 0600 and I'm wide awake. I guess that's what happens when one lies in the bed for hours the night before. I was feeling rather guilty for having had three very large slices of pizza. I shouldn't be hating on myself for going off my gluten free diet but only the day before I had weighed myself on the grocery store scale and I was very disappointed to see that I had gained 10 pounds. I was on a very steady losing streak and just a few days of not paying attention did that. Back to the grindstone.
02/24 Direct Link
The last week of the month. Two months of 2014 have flown by. It's amazing how quickly time can pass. I like to say, "Time flies whether you're having fun or not." Therefore, it's incumbent to always try to have a good time. What's the point of being miserable? I know that I like being miserable a lot. It's in my nature. Mom raised me that way. But I try not to be that way and it takes a lot of effort. So, I'm going to be happy and upbeat if it kills me. Gosh darn it to heck, anyway.
02/25 Direct Link
Tuesday afternoon. I'm just beginning to see. Now I'm on my way. It doesn't matter to me. Chasing the clouds away. Something calls to me. The leaves are drawing me near. I've got to find out why. Those gentle voices I hear explain it all with a sigh. I'm looking at myself. Reflections of my mind. It's just the kind of day to leave the past behind. So gently swaying through the fairyland above. If you'll just come with me and see the beauty of Tuesday afternoon. I'm amazed that I remember lyrics from 40 years ago! What it is.
02/26 Direct Link
I drove around today while Raoul was doing hair at the old folks' home. It was very sad for me to stop and realize how entire neighborhoods are gone. They've been replaced by high rises. The city has changed. And not for the better. It's a big city now. The parking is miserable. The traffic is horrible. And there are way too many people jammed in. So, the urban sprawl has stopped and now the developers are tearing down old buildings and replacing them with boxes stacked atop each other. It's a nightmare and I don't like it at all!
02/27 Direct Link
We had a going away dinner for Linda. This is a perfect example of what burns me up. Scott didn't come over because he's not in Linda's fan club. But Lady D was here slurping down the food and didn't even offer a penny. Why does she feel that we should support her? I wish that she had offered $5 or $10 to be part of the dinner. I can understand Linda not paying anything because it was a dinner in honor of her. And she's paid before. But Lady D is a mooch. And I'm reaching the breaking point.
02/28 Direct Link
Even though the weather was less than stellar this morning, we walked anyway. I'm so proud of myself for the walking that I'm doing and the weight that I'm losing. We walked to Starbucks and Linda bought Scott and me coffee. That was the last time we'll do that walk together because I took Linda back to New York this afternoon. She's returning at the end of March to move here. I'm having mixed feelings about that but it will all work out. I need to get her to stop smoking. That will be my goal when she returns soon.