REPORT A PROBLEM
OMG, it's August already. How did that happen? Time flies whether you're having fun or not. We're on the downside of 2013. This is actually my favorite month because the last day is my birthday. I always think about what it must have been like for Mom back in 1952 during the month of August when she was walking around with big old me inside. And I'm still firmly of the belief that birthdays are a celebration of Mom. After all, what did I do on that day so many years ago? I plopped out. She did all the work!
There's a difference between being lonely and being alone. I've decided that walking on Lincoln Road is a different experience every time I walk. I walked last night with Diana and it was a whole new experience. We stopped at Ricky's Pop Up Shop and I insisted that she buy some of the makeup that was on sale. It normally sold for $10 and was selling for $1. How could anyone pass up such a bargain? Anyway, it was a fun walk and I was shocked to see that one of the buildings had been torn down. Who knew? Shocking!
Good grief. It's Saturday already. That week flew by, as usual. I got up early today and went over to the Starbucks on 135th Street and met someone from online. That was odd. I don't intend to do that again. I went to see Helen and she was knocked out. When I roused her, she said such wonderful things. And then fell back to sleep. She was totally drugged. Poor old thing. Then when I woke her a second time she was cursing at me so I left. I've decided that I'm not going to sit there and take abuse.
It 0200 and I'm awake because Diana just got home and I was up to go pee but her loud talking outside really woke me and I got out the laptop and started tapping out things. I just went to a website called one word dot com. So now I have 750 words, this place and one word. That's 851 words a day. What's a mother to do? I'm supposed to be awake in about five hours and drive over to Coral Gables for breakfast with Amy and Kim. Kim is moving to Iowa on Tuesday and I have nothing.
When you're not working, every penny counts. When I was working, I was carefree about spending. I noticed that I was charged a $15 "maintenance fee" on my savings account. I didn't mind it so much back in June, but when the statement came for July and it was there again, I had a moment. I called the bank and they said that my balance went below the minimum. But I had deposited money so the July charge was totally in error. I figured as long as I was getting a refund, why not ask for $30. I got it!
I just wrote at one word dot com about fasting. It's coming up - that day once a year when we're not supposed to eat for a whole 24 hours. I've done it before and I was damn proud of myself. This year could be a good one for that concept. Anyway, I woke up at 0400 and it's now 0430. I've written for one minute at one word dot com and came here to write today's 100 words. Next, I'll go to 750 words dot com and then I have to get up early to take Diana to work today.
I think it was MJ that brought me here to write daily. Now, I have a new routine where I write one word then 100 words then 750 words. So, I went from 100 words a day to 851. Who knew? Go figure. Today, I'm thinking about the very large day I had yesterday. I started out by taking Diana to work. Going to do that again today. Then I laid about the house the whole day before I went to pick up Diana and then we went to a free dinner at Carrabbas. Raoul slept with me last night.
It's now 0645. I woke up at 0615, got up to pee and came back to bed and got out the laptop and checked my email, looked at Facebook, wrote for a minute at one word dot com and then read some more on Facebook. Now, I'm writing today's 100 words and then I'll write today's 750 words and then I'll get coffee and maybe something to eat and then I'll come back upstairs and get showered and dressed to take Diana to work and then I'll go drink coffee at Starbucks and I'm supposed to meet Lynne for lunch.
I stayed away for the entire day yesterday. I didn't realize it until I was driving home around 1700. I spent most of the morning at Starbucks drinking about a gallon of coffee. And then I went driving around town taking pictures before going to Midtown to meet a friend for a little bite to eat and a few beers. I know we would have stayed longer except that I had to drive to Little Havana to pick up Diana, which I did at 1630. That's why we got home around 1700 and I realized I'd been gone all day.
I like this new routine. First I go to oneword.com and write for a minute, then I come here and tap out 100 words. Next up - 750words.com. I should include prosebox.com in the routine and that way I'll have an entry there every day. I finally, finally registered my domain name yesterday for only $0.50. Whatever happened to the lowly cents symbol? It's gone the way of the penny, that much loathed coin that's not even made of copper anymore. I'm in such a strange mood for 0500. It's going to be a good day, though.
I fell asleep early because I drank four beers in quick succession and then pretended to be art walking. I was supposed to meet ALisa but by the time she got there I was back home with my clothes off and lying in bed looking at the photos that I'd just downloaded. I'm glad I went to the bar and drank like a fish, even if it was liquid gluten. I've got to get my mind off this gluten thing. It's going to be the death of me. And Nikki sent me a link to Gluten Free Singles. Go figure.
It's Monday morning at 0222. I'm wide awake in the middle of the night because of crappy Chinese food and going to bed too soon after consuming said food. Today is the first day of my truly concerted effort at dieting. I'm disgusted with my shape and size and I'm finally going to do something about it. I keep on saying I'm going to do something, but today is the day I finally get busy. I had a moment last night where I considered what I could look like. And I decided that I'm the only one who has control.
Some overdue improvements are coming to 100 words. I wonder what that could mean. And probably that announcement could stay there for at least another three or four years. I remember when President Obama was first elected, there was a tease about Obama's first 100 days. Yet he was already well into his second term and that tease was still there. Go figure. I've loved writing 100 words for awhile now. I was just going to go back and see just how long it's been. I want to publicly thank MJ for telling me about this place. I love it.
I had a fitful sleep last night. I have an 1115 phone interview today. I was over thinking the possibilities. I have to be myself, answer any questions truthfully and not say anything negative about any of my former employers. I wonder what questions will be asked. And I also wonder if I'll have the opportunity to ask questions. The most important thing on my mind is that if I get another in person interview, I'm going to Men's Wearhouse and buy a suit. I have to show up wearing a monkey suit. Amy told me they dress up there.
It's barely Thursday, since it's only 0041 and I was asleep already. I ate two doughnuts! Not one, but two. That's really gross. And I had a purely gluten free day until that moment when I had a breach of etiquette and weakness led me to eat two chocolate covered doughnuts. I hate myself. I hated myself while I was eating them. Another thing I hated myself for was receiving the bill from Netflix and realizing that I hadn't watched one single thing! There are so many things that I still pay for but don't really use. Why do that?
I really need to come here and type 100 words every day as soon as I finish 750 words. Either that or come here first. I'm writing two days worth because I skipped this task and it's now Saturday morning at 0420. I went to the doctor to get the results of my blood tests and he was alarmed at how much things had gone downhill in the one year since I was last tested. That's because for the past year I've been down so low it looks like up to me. Time to get back on track! It's true!
It's early in the morning. I've been awake for an hour and a half. I've been doing this far too long. I only sleep all the way through the night if I've taken a sleeping pill. My doctor told me that my testosterone level is low. That's alarming. Also, he told me that all m other indicators are way over the top. It's time to do something about it and not just write it off. So, today is the first day of the rest of my life. He said if I continue the way I'm going, it won't be long!
It's the time of the season. It's hot. The cats are making me mental this morning with their incessant meowing. I'm in a mood, but that's okay, because I've been in a mood for the past few decades. I have a birthday coming up in a little more than two weeks and I just want to celebrate another day of living. I'm thinking it's way past time to get slim and I wish I could just keep my mouth shut so my big fat ass could slim down. It's all mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter.
The dog days of summer are here. It's too darn hot. I just want to get through the months of August and September and be ready for some cooler weather. I know it's not right to rush the cadence, but I forgot just how hot it gets in August. And we're coming up on the anniversary of Hurricane Andrew. It's hard to believe that we're just coasting through hurricane season. It's moved to September and October and even November for when it gets really bad. I should worry about other things that I can control and forget the weather! Enough.
Time keeps on slipping into the future. Today was a boring day. Nothing much happened. I laid in bed most of the day and I didn't even get up and get showered. I'm dirty and I don't care. I did look at the pile of stuff in the room and I opened a box and found a sugar bowl that is listed on ebay for $60. That's why I can't do anything. I just look at the pile of things and I'm immobilized. Now I know why hoarders feel stuck. It's not easy to pick at the pile. Help me.
It's 0020 and I just finished watching an AIDS movie called, "We Were Here." I knew it would make me profoundly sad, but I watched it anyway. Now I'm tapping out today's words and watching David Letterman. As soon as I'm done here, I'm going over to 750 words and tap out some more words. I think I may do the one word thing too. I need to get some structure into my life and I don't feel like anything is coming together for me. Right now, I'm adrift. I need a new routine and I need it right now!
You know, you keep beavering away at this and one day you look at the results and you have a collection of your writings. Does that constitute a weblog? We blog. You blog. I blog. They blog. The Internet is full of it. I'm just spewing out words over here. Tippy tapping my life away. Suddenly, I'm feeling hot and stuffy. The air conditioner isn't conditioning the air. And I need cooling off. This blogging shit is hard work. I just made a funny. There's nothing hard about this. The hard part is typing exactly 100 words per day. Success!
I was lying in bed thinking, yay, it's Friday. Whatever the hell that means, since Friday is like every other day. I was also thinking that I have a doctor's appointment early and that I have to mail that application which should have been mailed yesterday. I hope that I can get something constructive done today other than just lying in bed feeling hopeless about life. I don't know why I'm in such a funk lately, but I'm super funky. It's all mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter. But I got to get up. Get out!
When I go out Friday night for Shabbat dinner, it's hard to get to sleep. I haven't made the connection after all these years, but when I get home, no matter the time, I just want to stay up all night. Last night was no exception as I was awake at 0230 and finally just turned off the light and I was out in a flash. His Royal Smallness woke me early this morning a couple of times, but I didn't truly get up until 0830. It's now 0910 and I have to get the routine started already. Gotta run!
It's 0205. I'm wide awake having been waiting for Raoul to return from Mount Sinai where he was keeping watch over Ruth who fell down in her apartment yesterday. And what a day yesterday was! I left to go visit Helen but instead just drove around for awhile and went to Wendy's and ate some greasy good food including a whole lot of gluten so that when I came back home, I continued my gluten spree. I ate too much of Raoul's chili because it was so darn good. And then I just tossed and turned most of the night.
I write at oneword.com, then 100words.com and I finish with 750words.com. I couldn't care less about prosebox.com nor opendiary.com. What's happening to me? I'm so proud of myself because I finally attacked the growing pile of papers in my bedroom and it's all gone. Now, I have to start whittling down that pile of boxes in the next room. I feel that two or three days will make a significant difference. I spoke to Juan yesterday and he wants to spend a couple of days here. Now, that's going to be some good old fun!
August 27th is like the total doldrums of summer. What's the point? I'm so hot and the air conditioner just runs all day and all night trying to cool the house. Yesterday was an overcast day so it actually got cool in the house, but today the sun is out and it's already hot. Even though it's usually well into the 80s at this time, today it's only 78 outside. I should get off my fat arse and stop tapping into my trusty MacBook Pro and just get out and walk. I'm not in the mood! What's the point, Edith?
Well, I moved the boxes from the hallway to the room with the biggest hoard of all. I even started again in the hoard room with the rearranging. The problem with that room is that I keep finding things of value and I end up looking them up online but I don't list anything because although I find them in ebay auctions, none of them have any bids. I just need to list things and have some faith that there will be a bid. It's unlikely though when there are many other auctions of the exact same item. Good grief.
Today is the 8th anniversary of Katrina. Saturday was the 22nd anniversary of Andrew. Such milestones! Today is the anniversary of I don't know what. And two more days until my birfday. And I can't stop thinking about one year ago when I was in Alaska. It's such a distant memory and yet it's seared into my brain. That was the vacation that was. I wish I had a memory of one of those vacations with His Royal Smallness. He didn't go with me. I went with Janet. It would have been a completely different experience with a different person.
Today was an ordinary day. I invited myself to Shabbat dinner late in the day and told them it was my birthday. I offered to bring a cake but they said that was ridiculous. I spent most of the day lying in bed thinking about things that might have been. I took a late day nap and woke up in time to go to the grocery store for a bottle of kosher wine and some things for the kids who were to arrive later. I continue my half-hearted search for employment and it continues to produce half-hearted results.
Happy birthday to me. I remember vividly that last year I woke up in Anchorage Alaska. I wonder where I'll be next year. Meanwhile, this year I'm sitting in my bedroom tapping out 100 words on my trusty laptop. The kids are sleeping in the other room and Raoul is getting read to do hair. I'm sitting here feeling a little nauseated and I don't know why. I woke up feeling fine but after drinking about half a cup of coffee, I felt like throwing up. I think it's because I'm not happy about being 61. I will be okay.
The Tip Jar