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So, it's 2013. I've noticed that the past decade or so, since the advent of the Internet and the propensity to type things rather than hand write, I don't have the problem of writing the wrong year for the first few weeks. I'm on top of that as soon as it's a new year. Can't believe it's 2013. The 21st century just keeps on going like the Energizer Bunny. It's already past 7:30 so I should get ready so I can be in the office at 9:00. I'm thinking of changing my start time to 9:30. Ten?
It's definitely new year and they say that today is the day to actually start acting on those new year's resolutions. It's a good thing too, because since I said I wasn't going to smoke this year, I already had a couple of cigarettes with Ricki's sister yesterday after we went for a walk on Lincoln Road. I'm glad that I started the year that way. I won't even remember it come December. I didn't go to the beach again for Christmas. Traditions are easy to forget. We didn't even eat our greens and peas yesterday. Gotta cook that today!
It's humpy. It's a three-day work week and I'm already burned out. It's only the third day of the year and I'm exhausted. No, really. It's just a state of mind. It's like mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter. I'm in a mood. I don't want to work. I just want to bang on the drum all day. Today I discovered that the 100 Montaditos on Washington Avenue was closed. I was shocked. Shocked, I tell you. So, I drove to Midtown to the most successful Montaditos in the U.S. and ate by myself.
Really glad that it's Friday. I didn't want to work one minute this week. I guess I made an unconscious resolution that I don't want to work for nothing anymore. I'm tired of volunteering at that place and I want to get paid for my effort. I know that I'm doing a good thing, but enough is enough. The money is flowing out and there's little to no income. His Royal Smallness decided to become disabled at a very bad time. We have no true retirement plan, yet we're already into full blown retirement. It's a beautiful day. Oy vey.
I had to google BCS. I'm clueless when it comes to football and especially college football. This city has become insane because there are two large bowl games going on this weekend. Tonight, I was shocked when something like a dozen buses came barreling down our street with motorcycle police escorts. Then when Melinda and I left for the wine tasting, we saw another dozen buses waiting on the side of the interstate. It's crazy, I tell you. At least we haven't had to go near South Beach because that's where the frenzy is each night. It's a crazy city!
Happy Three Kings Day! I just asked Raoul if he wanted to go to the Three Kings Day Parade in Little Havana and he answered me, "Are you crazy?" Then he suggested that I should go with Danee and her kids and bring Isora. I think I'd rather have a root canal. It's Sunday and I should be thinking of all the wonderful things I could be doing but instead all I want to do is lie in bed and be a vegetable. Is there something so wrong with just wanting to do nothing. Not really, until it become habitual.
Raoul was bitching at me that there were so many vegetables in the refrigerator and why did I buy so many vegetables and what were we going to do with all those vegetables so I made vegetable soup and it nearly gagged his sister so I put the rest of it in the blender and made a vegetable porridge. It's not a true vegetarian soup though because I did use chicken stock instead of water or vegetable stock. I think it came out fantastic and I decided that's the way I'm gonna lose weight this year by eating more vegetables.
I'm writing nine days worth of 100 words. That means that little of what I write will be related to a diary entry or like a journal. I knew that I was ignoring this site but coming here on the 16th and realizing I haven't written since the 7th is startling! I've been very neglectful of this little exercise. However, I've been very attentive when it comes to the other social tasking website - 750 words. I've been faithfully writing 750 words every morning. I guess I have to get back into the habit of writing 100 words every single day.
January is an odd month and it's so much odder this year because I'm unemployed. I wish I could consider myself retired but there's no way I can move into that state of mind because I'm too preoccupied by money. I'm obsessed with the amount that's in the bank vs. how much we need to live. At the rate we're going, the amount in the bank should last about three years at which time I'll start collecting social security and then we can eat the finest pet food. I'm not kidding here. It's a
to the neighbors and oy.
Ten days into the month and I'm pondering where I'll be one year from now! It's a fun exercise in mental masturbation. I wonder if I'll still be alive. I wonder if I'll still be in this house. I wonder if I will be gainfully employed or self-employed or full-on retired. Just writing that made me want a bowl of ice cream. What's that all about? It's not good to try to write 100 words while thinking of dessert. I want to make some cookies or cake or pie or something baked. Maybe I should delay that urge.
What is good?
What is bad?
Where do we go from here?
What's the point, Edith?
I've lost the will to live.
I have no desire to go on.
Where is the love?
I need inspiration.
I need a new routine.
I got a new routine.
And now I need another new one.
What day is this?
Eleven days into the new year.
And still in a slump.
Retirement is not for the faint of heart.
I wish I were in full on retirement.
I want to live.
I want. I need.
If I were to go back and put my Saturday entries together, would I find that they're all about Helen? I've been going to see Helen on Saturday for years. I really want to stop going because Helen doesn't even know it's me anymore. I wonder what she really knows. I wish I knew more about the disease of dementia. I wonder if she ever has moments of clarity because it seems that I just go there week after week and nothing changes. Oh yeah, she's getting smaller and smaller and soon will disappear. That's when it will be time.
If it's Sunday, then today must be ghetto farmer's market day. I haven't been eating the little bananas that were the original reason for going there. I used to eat at least one a day and many days I would eat two. I don't eat oatmeal every day like I used to. Raoul has changed his routine since I've changed me. It's been almost exactly nine months since I was thrown away from the convent. And today I'm pondering that thought. Next week will be the nine month anniversary. What child have I created in that time? I no know.
Monday is just another day when one is unemployed. It doesn't have the same dreadful significance as when one is ticking off the days. I'm glad that I don't have that mindset any more. I wish I were gainfully employed but I don't have the Monday through Friday mentality. I don't live for the weekends anymore because every day is a special day. I just made myself want to go to the beach for sunrise. That's always a good way to start the day. It's a good day in the neighborhood. I'm going to make myself happy today. That's it.
Beware the Ides of January. It's the middle of the month and we're planning March. We were invited to Savannah to see the St. Patrick's parade, which is supposed to be the second largest in the world. I thought it was the second largest in the U.S. but it's the second largest in the world. I think that we in the U.S. make a bigger deal of St. Patrick's day than they do in Ireland. Why do we have to do that? Oh well, I'll think about that another time. I've got to get ready for a trip!
If it's Wednesday, it must be 100 Montaditos day! We love going to that place for $1 sandwiches on Wednesdays. But today, I have plans to go to Mahli's house to work on her project. So, no Montaditos for me. Instead, I had a horrible craving for the McRib. Once I've had a couple of them I'm over the craving. I guess that's why it's not a regular item all year. It's really kind of gross. The first time I ever had one was in Germany where I understand they sell them year round. Pork products aren't pretty when processed.
Ack, not only did I eat that horrible McDonald's sandwich yesterday, but my plans to go to Mahli's were dashed and I came home and ate two Montaditos as well. Then for dinner we ate a sensible salad and eggplant parmesan. The problem is that after dinner I snarfed down a yogurt followed shortly by a very large portion of ice cream. If I had left those two items, plus the McDonald's sandwich, out of my daily menu I would have eaten more sensibly. I'm my own worst enemy. Today I'm going to redouble my efforts. I must lose weight!
Do I write about the man with the large red dogs smoking a cigarette across the street tonight when I went to the bathroom and looked out the window or the disgusting roach convention that I discovered when I went downstairs for a midnight snack? Neither deserves that treatment so I'll write of other things like Art Deco weekend and Martin Luther King Day. I'm not happy to have Monday as a day off and not get paid to enjoy that so I'll skip that subject. I like the cold weather returned for the weekend so maybe I'll go there.
Today's words are being written at quarter after midnight so it's not a diary entry at all. There are so many things to write about and I could even go over to my other social tasking website - 750 words - but I'm not in the mood. I'm rather enjoying David Letterman tonight and he's actually made me laugh out loud a couple of times. The segment with Kevin Bacon was rather forgetful so nothing to write about there. Let's meet at the Golden Corral. You and my imaginary girlfriend. That's the ticket. Let's clean everything with Mistolin. I hate that shit.
Starbucks has started a promotion today to encourage gullible folks like me to order a coffee every day for the next 10 days to not only win a free beverage (whoop de fucking do) but also a chance to win a trip to Los Angeles to see Disney's premiere of their new Wizard of Oz movie. I have the urge to participate but I just can't justify spending near $50 to get a free cup of coffee and an entry into a sweepstakes. I'm sitting here typing and smelling that smell of Raoul's cleaner and I'm going to hurl. Ugh.
Martin Luther King Day and Inauguration Day celebrated together. How can you watch the inauguration and participate in the national day of service. I didn't do service for anyone except for taking Raoul to the nursing home so he could do little old ladies' hairdos. I guess that was his service. Meanwhile, I drove around the county for hours and shot pix of many abandoned sofas, a few buildings and other assorted things. It was, after all, a fun day. I'm glad that I didn't have to go to work. I can hardly wait for tomorrow to call the convent!
After a three-day weekend, it's never easy to go back to work. And today was an especially difficult day because the Internet was down at the office. I found myself reading books on the shelf! It's been ages since I picked up manuals and the like since I always read those things online. I was kind of proud of myself since my go to person wasn't there, I just called the IT company that handles the Internet connection at work. They told me to talk to the president of the company who told me they didn't pay the bill!
I didn't go to work so I could focus on the presentation I'm trying to finish for Mahli. She's giving it February 20 and we aren't even halfway done. I'm trying to get her to focus but there always seems to be some other emergency or issue that takes precedence. I was impressed that what I thought was going to take a couple of hours took less than a half hour. And then I laid around the rest of the day like a slug. I finished my library books and I have to return them. One was due last week!
I just finished reading "Wheat Belly' and then I had my first wheat free meal! Instead of making a turkey and cheese sandwich, I ate turkey and cheese lettuce wraps. That was easy. I know that it seems hard to eliminate wheat from the diet, but it seems to me that focusing on whole foods should be the answer. A lot more vegetables and nuts and cheese and meats. The answer is to not replace gluten products with gluten-free products. Processed foods are bad. Period. They almost always have some form of wheat and must be avoided always. Cheers!
TGIF! Especially when I don't have to go to work. Not real work, but there is work to do today. I have to go to Mahli's to finish her presentation, but she will not be ready for me and I will have to go back again. I'm so over this thing already, but I should have known it when I first accepted the assignment. Plus, when there's a deadline that's months away, it's only human nature to put it off until the last minute. At least we still have a few weeks to polish this turd to a high gloss.
It's so funny that so many times on Saturday, I tell myself that I'm not going to visit Helen and I find myself back at the home. Today was not the best of days, but it wasn't the worst either. I find that I can't leave Helen alone for one minute during lunch or there is bound to be some catastrophe. Today, I went to the nurse's station and demanded that someone clean her wheelchair. It's just completely crusted with spit up food and spilled milk. That's what happened when I got up to feed a stray cat. Spilled milk.
Last night was a fabulous party. So fabulous that all three of us spent the day in bed nursing a hefty hangover. Raoul's niece and nephew appeared late in the afternoon wanting to talk about renting the back apartment temporarily. It would be perfect for one person, and that's who lived there previously. It would be a little tight for two but that's been discussed before. But they were looking at it to live there for a year with their newborn baby and that would just be too tight. It's only two rooms and we talked them out of it.
Back to the salt mines. I was a little encouraged today because the president of the company talked to me about working there. Nothing concrete has been said, but we're inching closer to making some kind of deal. A great amount of time was spent looking into a training program, but I'm not optimistic about that because it pays exactly half of what I get from unemployment. And I thought I couldn't make any less. It's getting to the point of absurdity. And they think I'm rich because I own a house. Maybe I should just retire after all. Sheesh.
I'm glad to not really have celiac disease because being gluten free would be a true pain. I said I was going to try to be wheat free but it's truly amazing how much wheat is in the American diet. I went to the new Publix yesterday. That place is a palace to food. But the most amazing part is how pervasive the wheat is there! It's in everything. What surprised me most was that I got a cheese sample and it was served on a rice cracker. I could eat those forever. Will I be able to go wheatless?
Tomorrow I go to jury duty. I woke up today in a mild panic thinking it was today. I'm glad that it's hump day and I don't have to go sit in a jury pool. From what I've heard, it seems they've streamlined the whole process and changed it from a week long torture to simply one day of inconvenience. That is, unless one is actually picked to sit on a jury. I've had the pleasure of sitting on a civil case and being part of an 18-month federal grand jury. It's a privilege. I just like to awfulize.
I went to jury duty and was tortured by the fact I sat there for six and a half hours with nothing to do but read my book and fuck around with my iPhone. The worst part is that they're supposed to pay $15 per day, but since they let us leave 1-1/2 hours early, we don't get paid. I had the option to sit there for another 1-1/2 hours but I wasn't that desperate for $15. Still, I'm kind of pissed because it seemed almost calculated that they did that. Oh well, what the hell.
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